Wednesday, August 30, 2006

More evidence that the Y chromosome inhibits multitasking

Bear: When I grow up I am going to be a Daddy, right?

Me: Yes, that is right! And you are going to be SUCH a good daddy, too!

Bear: And SugarPlum is going to be a Mommy and Bug is going to be a Daddy, too?!

Me: Right!

BUG: Nooooooo! I gonna be a pilot!

Monday, August 28, 2006


Well, I took the dang Emmy post down because it was just pissing me off. I may put it back up when I find links that will stay the same.

I have a lot going on, but haven't been able to put it into coherent words.

SugarPlum and Bear have soccer practice on the same nights at the same time. This is good and bad. It means that I get it all over with at once, but it also means that somehow I am supposed to be in two places at once. Fun.

On the up side, it has FINALLY cooled off. We had been over 100 for over 45 days this month. Plus? We got rain!!

Bug gets to go to HIS "Meet the Teacher" for preschool tomorrow morning. I don't know who is happier, him or me!

I am trying to get my Pampered Chef business started and it has been more of a challenge than I anticipated. Of course, if I were a little more organized and less, oh, I don't know...chaos-oriented?, it might help. So, if you live somewhat close to me (if you know where I live) and you want to host a Pampered Chef show & get lots of free stuff, let me know! Heck, if you live anywhere and want to order something or do a catalog show & get free stuff, email me! Geez, pimping my wares on the blog. How low can I go?

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Father's Day in August!!!

Now, here is a dad we can all admire! Could your husband (or you, if you ARE a husband) have stayed this level-headed during such an obvious crisis? I'm pretty sure SD could.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Does this ass make my pants look big?

Do you find yourself, each season, wearing a "uniform?" You know, you realize after several weeks into a season that you are wearing that same pair (or two) of pants with everything and find yourself in a quandary when both pairs of said pants (or shirts, or jackets, with me) need to be washed. A laundry quandary, as it were.

Please tell me that I am not the only one.

Last winter and Spring, I found myself always reaching for the same pair of stretch denim jeans that I got a JJill when the Queen and I were in DC. If those were in need of washing, then I usually had on this great pair of black velour drawstring pants. Don't look at me like that, the were comfortable. And honestly, they look really good on me. Shut. up.

So, with the recent outrageous expansion of my ass (which I blame on the Girl Scouts), I have been reluctant to wear shorts in public this summer. And trust me, as hot as it has been, that is saying a LOT. I have basically stuck with a pair of stretch denim capris (are you sensing a trend here?) and a pair of black cotton cropped pants that I bought on Land's End the summer after Bear was born. They hang nice and loose and they are quite comfortable. Those black pants are my very, very favorite garment this summer.

When I first got them, as I said, I had just had Bear and thought I was HUGE. However, the truth is, I lost most of my baby weight very quickly and so the pants looked really cute. But I didn't wear them all that much in the intervening years. They looked cute when I did wear them, but I had other uniforms at that time.

THIS summer however, I am left wondering what I was thinking not wearing those pants because why would you NOT wear them with all their cute comfiness?!! (yes, it's a word. let it go) Was I crazy? Oh, yes, I guess I was.

The anxiety I have about them is that I am not so, um, petite as I was when these pants were purchased. And say all you want about how slimming black is, my ass is still ginormous. And those pants just are never going to be the same. I am worried that when I go to put them on next spring that they will be all misshapen and stretched out and look terrible on my once-again-slender frame. (Hush) AND Land's End doesn't make those pants anymore. I don't know WHAT they were thinking. Perhaps they just couldn't keep up with the demand for the comfy black cotton cropped pants and gave up. I'm sure that's it.

I have been looking in my closet, pondering what my winter uniform will be. I realized today, that if my ginormous ass doesn't begin shrinking, and I mean SOON, I will have to purchase some pants that will cover it. And that is an investment that I don't want to make.

My weight-loss mantra: No New Fat Pants!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I can't for the life of me think of a title for this post

Whew! That was one hell of a pity party, no? Thanks for all of your sympathies. I'm feeling much better now...heh, a tribute to one of my dad's favorite lines ever.

Actually I got over it pretty quickly after I posted. No, not "got over it" in a "fuck him I can live without him" kind of way. More of an "okay I can/will/must put my big girl panties on and cope" kind of way. Having three kids, two of which start school the next morning, tends to put things in perspective for you. Although, I suppose that I could just curl up in a ball with a bottle of Boone's Strawberry Hill and a bag of Cheetos and whimper my days away. Who am I kidding? I'm no Britney...I could never pull that off.

I intended to post Monday about the first day of school and all the excitement surrounding that. Funny thing about school starting. I thought I'd have all this spare time. But school sort of takes over. Throw in soccer practice for the two "big kids" and a three year old who is pissed about being left out of all the fun and you are left with NO time to do anything much more than breathe. If I'm lucky. And here it is Thursday and I am finally getting back to the old blog.

Sooooo.....the first day of school. It was fantastic. Both kids are honestly so in love with their schools and their teachers, I couldn't possibly be happier. SugarPlum was a little apprehensive since she will be going to a different school than the one she attended the last time we lived here. Frankly, she was so disappointed that she wouldn't be with her best friend. Luckily they are on the same soccer team. On the up side two of the girls from her old soccer team go to her new school and one of them, T, is in her homeroom. AND? T was as excited that SugarPlum was in the same class as SP was. Her teacher got to hear all about SP before we ever got there on "Meet Your Teacher Night." So, the teacher put them at the same table. I think I love her. All of the fourth grade teachers seem to be really wonderful. SugarPlum is excited about every course. Even math! As it turns out, the math teacher gave them a problem the first day to find as many ways to get 24 as they could think of. Mrs. Math said that SP came up with the most creative way of anyone in the whole fourth grade. She was so excited!

SugarBear loves, loves, loves Kindergarten! He has friends to play with, stuff to do, and...AND?! he gets to watch a movie every day at rest time. He is such a people pleaser and he has plenty of chances to do just that. His teacher is just the nicest lady while still having total control over the class. He likes everything there is about Kindergarten. I asked him yesterday how his day was and he replied, "I like it as much as anything in the whole wide world!!" Could you ask for anything more? He was telling me about playing with his "new best friends" and I asked him their names. He replied, "Oh, I don't know." Wouldn't you love to be five again?!

But, yes, Bug is less than pleased at being left out of the festivities. He cries every day after we drop Bear off, "I wanna go to the rock school!!" (The school has these stone walls. They call it the "rock school.) His school starts after Labor Day. Delayed gratification is NOT amongst the qualities for which three year old are known. So my days have been filled with resentment and rebellion. Good times.

Tomorrow, we go to Gram and Gray Gray's house. I am singing in a wedding Saturday with a couple of my high school friends. I am so excited because these are two of my favorite people in the whole wide world! (Okay, yes we use that phrase a lot in our family. Maybe more than anyone else in the whole wide world!) So there has been a lot going on here in Candyland. And I promise to try and be better about sharing it. Remember, I said TRY!

Monday, August 14, 2006

It's a party! I brought the whine.

Well, not much of anything going on here. School starts Monday....dogs are still here and are okay.

But I miss my husband. So, so very much. I had a big pity party tonight and cried and cried and cried. I never knew that I could miss someone this much. I love that man more than I ever knew possible 15 years ago. After all we have been through in the past few months, we are stronger than ever. But, I sometimes (okay, pretty much all the time) just need to feel him holding me. And I can't. And it sucks.

So, I suppose I'll wrap up this pity party for now and get to bed. I have two kids to get to school tomorrow morning. SugarPlum starts fourth grade. Bear's first day of Kindergarten!

Crap. I guess I'd better find more tissues.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

It's like Deja Vu all over again...only not in a good way **UPDATED**

Man this sucks. This so very, very much sucks.

Okay, I'll start three years ago almost to the day. Bug was not quite three months old, Bear was two and SugarPlum was six and about to start first grade. The next day, her best friend in the whole wide world was coming to visit for a few days (along with the royal family). Our whole family was playing outside. SugarPlum and SD were in the front yard and Bear was in the back. Something happened out front that made SugarPlum call for us all to come see. So Bear went out the back gate and I took the baby and went out the front door. Several minutes later, I went in the house & noticed that the dogs were not in the backyard. I alerted SD and he began to search for them. Someone eventually called and said that they had found Ivy, our very old little mutt, down the street. But still no sign of Yogi, our Lab-mix rescue or Mayhem, the dog whom we rescued from the pound when she was a tiny little puppy and SugarPlum was only nine months old. The dog who had lived with my parents for three years while we were in England because we couldn't bear to put her or Mischief, or shepherd/husky mix through the six month quarantine.

SD drove around the area for a long time, but he really had no clue where to look. Eventually, I got a call from the Animal Control officer saying that someone had found the dogs, but that Mayhem had been hit. I called SD, who was still out driving around. Next, I called our vet who said that SD could bring Mayhem in. But our sweet May May died shortly after SD arrived at the scene. It was absolutely one of the most tragic days of my entire life. I was so very sad and wanted to wail and gnash my teeth. But I had a six year old who was absolutely devastated. She needed Mommy to be strong. So I waited till later to lose it. I held her all night long, as she would awaken and cry out for MayMay. I swore that nothing like that would ever happen again.


As soon as we closed on this house, SD came over and, with no power, put in a fence along the driveway in the back of the house to keep the dogs in. We also put a carabiner clip in the latch to prevent little boys from opening the gate and letting the dogs out. In addition, our driveway is gated in the front and SD installed a power opener that automatically closes after two minutes as an added line of protection.

Today we spent a great deal of time going back and forth from the backyard to the garage while we tried, unsuccessfully to blow up this giant water toy (sooooo not important). And nobody made sure that the gate latched properly. My fault. I'm the Mommy. That is my job.

Tonight, we got home from Bear's very first soccer practice ever. It was late. It was hot. I needed to get the boys to bed and SP had a friend over to spend the night. The girls went to the window to see the dogs as soon as we got home. And, yes, they were there.

After I got the boys in bed, I noticed that there was a message on my voice-mail. It was a woman who said that she had my dog. I thought, "Surely that was a wrong number. Our dogs are in the yard!"

Only, not so much.

Best I can figure, the dogs got out of the first gate just after the girls went to talk to them. Probably just before the driveway gate automatically closed. Damn.

So those very nice people brought Yogi home. And he immediately ran away again. Dumb-ass dog. He did come back fairly quickly. But Snazzy, the little black lab-ish mix whom we took in a couple of years ago, is still missing. SugarPlum is appropriately disheartened. She is also feeling guilty because she says that she knew that the gate didn't latch properly and she forgot to tell me. But NO. She has no blame in this. She is NINE. I am.....more than nine. I know better. I should always check the gate when we have been using it.

I drove around looking tonight as did a friend of ours while his wife sat here with the kiddos. The only good news is that neither of us found her on the side of the road. I am hoping that someone has her and will call in the morning. Or at least she has found a safe place to sleep.

Please pray for our Snazzy-Jazzy Puppy dog. She is such a sweet, good natured snuggle puppy. We will all be devastated if we lose her, too. And pray for us, as well, if you don't mind. The boys know nothing, yet, but the will be very fweaked out in the morning. And SugarPlum is pretty stressed out. Then again, so is her mommy.


At 6:30 this morning, I was awakened by some barking at our back gate. I leaped out of bed (where Yogi had laid crying all night next to me) and dashed out the door. (So thankful for that door to the backyard in our bedroom!) Lo and behold there sat Miss Snazzy at the gate. I have no idea where she had been. I know that she must have squeezed in between the sides of the driveway gate. She quickly came in the house, pooped on the living room rug (I discovered about an hour ago) and passed out on the bed. Right now she is once again in the back yard - gate locked - and looks to be sleeping soundly. I am just so very appreciative for all of your prayers and words of support.

I am happy to report that all is well once again here in Candyland. All of the SugarBabies and the SugarPuppies are safe and sound and content.

Dontcha just love a happy ending?!!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Is this thing on???

Okay, okay, I'm still alive. Thank you all for being so concerned. It's good to know I was missed! I went to my parents' house for a few days and had no internet connection. Which, honestly, is odd because my mom had internet waaaaaaay before most people I know.

Anyway, I had no internet to speak of, other than the pirated wireless signal I was able to use for about 45 minutes Sunday night. Funny thing, I sort of got used to NOT being online 24/7 (or being able to). And now, it's hard to get back into the swing of things. I did start a post in Word while I was home, but I can't find it right now.

Maybe tomorrow.

That has become my mantra.

There is one thing troubling me tonight, though. I just got my ParentCenter newsletter and read the latest installment of Ben and Birdy. At the end, there was a little blurb saying that there will be only two more installments. I feel like a friend is dying. Or at least moving far, far away. Catherine Newman's weekly stories about her sweet children have been a staple in my life for the past three and a half years. Hers is the first sort of blog-like thing I ever read. I will miss her so very much. I hope that we will get periodic updates on Ben & Birdy. I will miss them and Catherine and Michael very, very much.

More from me tomorrow, I promise. Or, at least I promise to try....

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I'm rich!! I'm rich!! And also? Stupid!!!

I just opened this email a few minutes ago. I know I'm blonde, but come on. Do people really fall for this? Is there someone in a trailer somewhere saying, "Finally! I've been wondering where I put that 6.5 million dollars ! Woo hoo!!" Sheesh!