Friday, April 28, 2006
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to copy and email this.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
So, how is everyone today?? Do you realize that next week is May? Holy crap, how did that happen? I've been tooling along, minding my own business (shut up) and all of the sudden my twelve months in Ohio is nearly over. Unreal. It's always amazing to me how the days seem to creep by, never seeming to end, but the months fly past so quickly that I don't even get used to being in one month before we are already into the next one. I almost wrote "March" on my offering check at church Sunday and here we are, it's the end of April.
One good thing about all of this is that it is just two more weeks until I can start taking my thyroid medicine again. At least I assume I can, I suppose I ought to call my
The passing of these weeks and months means that I have already gotten one best friend married off and next month, I will be there to see my oldest friend (meaning I have known her since Jr High...I don't ant to try to do that math, too depressing) married to the man of her dreams. Chaquita Rosita Banana (hereafter known as CRB...the long version is a nickname from our college days) has had a rough decade or so. She has finally found a man who will adore her and treat her like she deserves to be treated. It is such a blessing to see the two women I love and admire most finally settled and happily married.
Back on the homefront, I still haven't gone through much stuff yet. I pulled a bunch of clothes out of SugarPlum's closet and drawers and need to sort through what I am going to take to Once Upon a Child and what I am just going to give to Goodwill. SP doesn't handle this well. Even though they are clothes that either don't fit or she won't wear (too hot, too scratchy, too loose, too wonky, you never know...) she doesn't want me to take them away. If she had her way, I think that her closet and drawers would be filled with everything she has ever worn since birth. I also found out that the kids' school in TEXAS! has a uniform policy. I used to be a huge advocate of uniforms, but now that SugarPlum has finally started to develop her own "style," I'm a little sad that she won't get to hone it for the next few years at school. I know that ultimately, I will appreciate it, because it will make getting dressed so much easier. Bear shouldn't be bothered since he wears polos most of the time anyway.
Bug will be going to our church's preschool, no uniform issues there. I say he will be going there, but if her won't finally decide to use the potty, I'm not so sure. I have a feeling that I know what a big part of my summer will be spent trying to achieve. My boys are just so hard headed.
Today, I get to go have lunch with my friend Suzy (hi Sooz!). At California Pizza Kitchen, YUM! Then we will go look at new glasses for her. Wheeeee!
OH! ohoh!! I forgot to tell you THIS....I just found out this weekend that one of my favorite, favorite bloggers, Sheryl of Paper Napkin fame, lives just down the road from me!!! (I know you're jealous) And our kids go to the same school! And now I can't wait to meet her. I just wish we had figured it out in June since I am moving to TEXAS! in six weeks (had I mentioned that? About moving?? I'm not sure if you were aware of the big move back to TEXAS!). Oh, well. Sheryl, you can come down and visit when the weather craps out up here about November or so.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Well, the descent is well underway. I had been reluctant to say how well I had been doing since the cessation of my thyroid medicine. I didn't want to jinx it. For a couple of weeks, I was doing okay, though. I had visions of myself crawling into the bed in my dark room and not coming out until the scan next month. But I was doing surprisingly well. I was in a pretty good mood. I was keeping the house, well, if not clean, then at least it wasn't a pit of garbage, rotting food and dirty laundry. The morning that we left for the wedding, I had put the last load of laundry in the dryer. Yes, for one brief and shining moment, all of our clothes were clean!!!
Maybe it was the wedding that kept me going as long as I did. But now that we are back, the laundry is piling up, there are dishes stacked in the kitchen from dinner last night, and I am sinking into the couch. My skin is dry, my hair is falling out, my nails are brittle and my heels are cracked. (Can you spell T-M-I???) Oh, and I have gained about twenty pounds in the past five weeks. I now weigh what I did when I went into labor with Bug. Delightful.
Okay, I suppose I am doing better than I could be at this point. I attribute this all to the new crazy pills. And I only had two migraines last week, which is monumental (Of course I have now jinxed that. No post till July, just watch). I have been at least making an effort to do the dishes and laundry. Only, I have had to wash a couple of loads twice since I occasionally (zip it, SD) forget them and they start getting funky.
I couldn't possibly do this without SugarDaddy, who is there to prop me up and take up the slack when I start to get overwhelmed. But honestly, I don't have time for this. I have boxes to go through, crap to get rid of, and clothes to sort. Our movers will be here in five weeks. And I don't want to move that crap again. YEESH!
Speaking of which...we are trying to ditch our old, sad couch. I love this couch, but, it's time. It's got holes worn in it and it's heavy (sofa sleeper). We are very close to our weight limit and the Air Force charges us a dollar for every pound we go over (I suppose that they charge everyone a dollar a pound, except, in this instance I really only care about ME...big surprise). So, every move comes down to, "Is this worth a dollar a pound?" And honestly, the couch is NOT worth eight zillion dollars (approximate measurement, my bathroom scale doesn't go that high...yet).
I also want to unload that butt-ugly entertainment center of ours. No, it is not worth a dollar per pound. However the corollary to that rule is "Can we afford to replace said offensive piece of crap after we have moved??" Well, the answer to that is, evidently, a resounding NO. At least not replace it with anything less offensive than the one we already have. *sigh*
All along, the plan was to just give away the damned thing and buy a new one as soon as we got to Texas. Until we bought that house. The house that has pushed us to our financial limit and has eliminated my budget for a maid (and I was so looking forward to her!). So, maybe if we can't sell the thing, sitting in my new hot tub will ease the burden. Care to join me?? You know that there will be margaritas in the fridge!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Okay, first, EWW! And second I'm not sure what is funnier, this guy's name or what he did (or didn't do!).
::running to laundry room to check pockets::
Whoopsie!! (or...the lesson those kids will never forget!)
Seriously, was one of these guys named Barney Fife??
Saturday, April 22, 2006
I'm all out of funny for right now. If you are looking for funny, go read what Theresa shared yesterday over at This Mom Blogs. But understand that she is serious, finish chewing and swallowing anything you might be eating and refrain from drinking any beverages during the reading of the post. You could very well end up with a very messy screen or keyboard!
Then, go an and read as much as you can of her. She is one of the best writers I know!
Why are you still here??? GO! READ!! LAUGH!!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
So, every once in a while, I get stuff in the mail from people for me to review. Like books, the new (and improved!) Swiffer, the Febreeze Notice!ables, and various other things. Usually, this stuff comes from Charlie. I'm not sure exactly what Charlie's job is, I'm assuming some sort of PR work. But Charlie is one of my favorite. people. ever.
One day a few weeks ago, I was reading over at Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda (if you don't read this site, you are crazy. Mir is so funny and dead-on!) and Mir mentioned that she had gotten a beer in the mail from Charlie. Being the whiny, smart ass that I am, I left this comment:
SHEESH! Charlie sends me baking tins and air fresheners. No beer. Why Charlie, why?? My baking would be much, much better with a beer. Seriously. And the Swiffer would definitely be more fun with a beer in the other hand.
Mir gets all the good stuff. *hmph*
See what I mean?! W H I N E. As it turns out, Charlie looks at the comments (how embarassing) and sent me the nicest email (hoping to get me to shut the hell up, I'm sure).
Buff, I caught your comment over at WouldaShoulda. Only reason I didn't contact you in the first place was because we have such a limited supply. But guess what... we have a handful left and...
...and I was happy! The beer arrived last Monday (a beer! in the mail!! YAY USPS!), which as you may remember was the day I was packing to take the plane ride from hell down to TEXAS! (I was blissfully unaware of the puking in my very near future). It came in a cool metal sided box that you could carry a bottle of wine (or soda, I suppose) in, a really neato bottle opener, and a CD Rom about the New Heineken Premium Light Lager Ale. So as I packed, I thought to myself, "Self? This packing stuff really sucks. A beer would make it better. Yes, a beer. Packing is much better with a beer than packing sans beer."
So off to the fridge I went and fetched myself the pretty green bottle that reminded me oh, so much of college and one particular Angel Flight sponsor at NatCon (Mrs. J knows what I'm talking about, "Too many greenies...")
So...how is the New Heineken Premium Light Lager Ale, you ask? Let's see, it tastes like, well, like light beer. I'm not a big light beer drinker. I have mentioned my beer of choice here before, but Heineken Light was pretty good for a light beer. Probably not my first choice, if I had my druthers, but I wouldn't turn it down if someone were giving it away at a party. (my favorite beer is FREE beer).
My boys were fascinated by the green bottle, "You dwinkin a GWEEN beeor, Mommy?" And the bottle was lovely...for a beer bottle. However, when I knocked it off the counter the next morning as we were headed out the door to meet Mike at the aero club (paging Mr. Murphy...clean up on Aisle 9), I didn't think it was quite so lovely. In fact, I'm almost certain that "lovely" was NOT one of the words that escaped my lips as I hastily cleaned up the mess.
So anyway, Charlie, when will you be handling the PR for Grey Goose, Jose Cuervo or Crown Royal? I'm your girl, there. All over that campaign. All. Over. It.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I have a gripe/question...WHY when you rotate the pictures to be vertical instead of horizontal, does it the show them as horizontal and all stretched out on the photo stream? I have enough body image issues without seeing myself like that.
I haven't looked at the Flickr badge over in my sidebar yet. I shudder to think of what I look like there!
Monday, April 17, 2006
We made it home safely. And without the need for airsick bags (or Burger King cups). I give most of the credit for this fact to SD's amazing flying skills, but I'm sure a great deal of the credit also goes to the weather and of course my new best friend, Dramamine.
The wedding was beautiful and absolutely perfect. A little windy, but that fact kept it from being ungodly hot, so I won't quibble. B2B (now known as Mrs. Jackalord) was radiant and the most relaxed bride I have ever known. She never really fweaked out, although when the rings weren't ready on Friday and it put us a good half hour behind schedule, I thought she might take someone's head off. (note to self: never tide in the car with a pissed off bride) She was stressed because she was going to be late to the rehearsal. Then I (the defender of bridal sanity) reminded her that nothing goes on without her and she could relax. So she did.
The rehearsal was great. The bride cried some when it came time to practice her Daddy giving her away, she started crying. So did her Daddy (we Texas girls love our daddies). SugarPlum was the flower girl and Bear was the ring bearer, although if you ask him, he was the "Ring Man." Never have there been two sweeter wedding attendants.
As an aside, if you told Bug that "Bear is the ring man," he would reply, "And my da pilot!" So during the rehearsal, when SugarPlum and Bear walked down the aisle, Bug noticed from across the golf course and started stomping and screaming "BUT MY DA PILOT!! MY DA PILOT!!" It was hilarious!
At the rehearsal dinner (held at Salt Grass Steakhouse, yum!) the bride's stress level was apparent when she drank not one, but TWO margaritas right there in front of her parents. This was a monumental occurrence, because when we took her out Thursday night, her mother asked if she had ever been "inebriated." T0 which she replied, "Of course not!"
The wedding day dawned bright and beautiful (I assume, I was in bed at dawn - only because SD got up with the boys). The bridesmaids were expected at the golf club at 1:00 to get our hair done and help the bride get ready. And, honestly, she was the picture of tranquility. We all got ready, got her into her gown and went down to take pictures. We came back up, our hair sporting the "wind-blown look."
The wedding was, as I said perfect. The groom (now Mr. Jackalord) looked in awe at his bride as she started down the aisle. And then his chin began to quiver as she approached. And that set me off of my first weepy moment of the day (but not my last, I assure you). They made it through the "giving away of the bride" but once she began her vows (and got choked up), I started to tear up again.
The reception was wonderful. Mrs. Jackalord even had the presence of mind to make me the go-to person for any questions form the DJ or anyone else so that she could enjoy herself. There were a few minor glitches, but nothing that effected the outcome. And, as they say, a good time was had by all.
We woke up bright and early Sunday morning, ate breakfast, packed up, had another gut-wrenching goodbye with Gray Gray and Gram and we were off. We made it home at about 5:00 and we were SO happy to be here!
I'll post a few pictures of the house and from the wedding later. Now, I MUST go to the grocery store if we have any hope of having supper tonight. Of course, since we bought the big house, it looks like beans and rice for the foreseeable future!
for those who know what I'm talking about, I hear that Picking up the Pieces will have a new post up soon.....
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Okay, now imagine that that ball is an airplane. And you're in it. Up and down, up and down, to and fro, back and forth. Over and over and over for about an hour. Or a year.
Yeah. That pretty much describes my experience on the plane SD piloted for us from Ohio to TEXAS!! (still excited if a little queasy) on Tuesday. It honestly wasn't his fault. We flew through a big front and there was no way to avoid it.
We started out late (big surprise - three kids, never on time). SD finally got our stuff loaded and we set off. We took off, I kicked back, turned on my iPod and realized that we seemed to be going back down. This, in large part because the fuel cover had blown open and there was fuel pouring out of the airplane. Not the ideal flying situation. So, SD lands, gets us back over to the Aero Club and the mechanic guy takes a look and notices that the cover lock is broken. And all the ones that they have are too big. So they quickly "build" us one. And it works!
Crisis averted. For now.
So, we take off again & the kids and I all doze off. Well, SugarPlum doesn't because she was playing with the new Gameboy I got her. She has never had one and now I may never hear her voice again on a trip. Thank you, Nintendo!!!!!!
The flight goes pretty smoothly for the first leg. Towards the end, Bug had woken up and was just sitting there, sort of catatonic. No expression, no words, just sitting there. I was a little concerned, as was SD. Okay, I was a lot concerned, because this child rarely fails to display every emotion he has as he is having them. But he wouldn't respond to anything. I was really fweaked out. (as an aside, I am #1 in google search for "fweaked out") I was totally ready to call 911 when we got on the ground in Kentucky.
Then (after a very bumpy descent where I almost puked but did NOT), we landed. And as soon as SD opened the door to the airplane, Bug says, "That was a cool flight! When my grow up, my gonna be a pilot!" And then talked non stop about it for fifteen minutes! I guess he was just THAT into it. In his mind he was totally flying that airplane!
So, we get inside the little airport in Kentucky and the kids and I hang out while some guy takes SD to get us lunch at Burger King. I was still really queasy, but I really thought if I ate something (I had skipped breakfast) I would be okay. So, he got me a cheeseburger and a LARGE Sprite.
Once in the air again, I realized that perhaps the cheeseburger wasn't such a great idea. I quickly emptied out a Target bag and made use of it. Then I tied the handles up as securely as I could and put it under the seat, praying that it didn't leak.
Once we reached altitude, things smoothed out quite a bit and I was feeling much better. So much so that I was playing with the kids and even read some of my
Oh, yes, the bumps at the beginning? Nothing compared to the bumps now. I was praying praying, that I wouldn't throw up. No dice, it was coming. But where to put it?? All of the other bags in the plane had holes in them. Burger King cup to the rescue!! You would be amazed how well a cheeseburger fits into one of those cups. An hour after it was eaten. Of course, it's my personal belief that everything I had eaten in the past month was in there. It wasn't pretty.
SD asked at one point if I wanted to get there faster or smoother. Honestly, I just wanted off that plane, but I knew that if we landed, we'd just have to take off again. I said smoother. He says, "It should only be another two hours."
TWO HOURS????? Heaven help me.
When we finally landed in TEXAS!! I was literally green. But I can also truly say that I have never been so glad to see home again. Well, just to see solid ground again. SD told me that he would buy me a commercial ticket to fly back home if I wanted! I made him take the cup-o-puke to the trash for me. We went over to our old neighbors (HI ED!!) for dinner. They ordered pizza. I had crackers and Sprite. Mmmmmmm. Then we checked into our hotel and got everyone off to bed.
Wednesday was phase two of the house hunt. We've narrowed down the houses to two. Ironically, neither of which is the one I was so gung-ho about after the last trip. We will make our decision in the morning and hopefully put an offer in. If we get the one I really like, I see dial-up in my future. eeeek!
And then? I have to get back on that airplane to fly down for the wedding. Can I do it? With my good buddy Dramamine, I can. Pray for me, though. As much as I have been stressing over my weight gain, this is not how I want to lose it!
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
At any rate, I had to have decent clothes to take with me to TEXAS!! (sorry, I'm excited!). I have been shopping all over for pants. Specifically, I was wanting some khaki and/or black capri pants. Because no way am I showing off my elephant thighs in shorts. As I browsed through the racks (at sizes I have never, ever had to look at, damn it), I realized that the capris were few and far between. They been replaced by these!
Gauchos, wide leg cropped pants, split skirt...I don't care what you call them they are butt ugly (Especially on a BIG butt...hahaha!). And I refuse to wear them. Except....the knit ones look awfully comfortable. But NO. I kept my resolve and kept looking until I found a pair of black pants and finally , at Target no less, I found a pair of khaki ones. But really, when will this insanity end??
I have all of these great, cute pants in my closet. That don't fit. Stupid thyroid. (Yes, it's all the thyroid's fault, not the Girl Scout cookies. Shut up.)
Oh, and did I mention that I got my hair cut and my eyebrows waxed?? Pictures forthcoming. LOVE my haircut. The eyebrows? Well, not exactly what I was going for, but once the blisters go away, I'm sure they will be fine. But that is a post unto itself.
So, today we leave for the Great State of TEXAS!! Me and my big, humongous capris. And my ever expanding ass. Oh, and the husband and kids (since he is the one flying the plane, I guess I should include him).We will hopefully find a house on Wednesday that we will actually buy. And then I'm off to be the matron of honor and chief defender of bridal sanity. Truly, I have my work cut out for me. She's not bridezilla (YET) but she is starting to fweak out. Wish me luck!!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
You all had wonderful captions, but the winner came in the first comment, from Cori.
"How does this compare to the "Rabbit" you've got hidden in your nightstand drawer?"
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Think he can reach back in time to when he lost his ever-loving mind??
Seriously, it's time for me to get the heck out of Ohio. Back to all the sane people in Texas. *snort*
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
We usually eat at 6:00, no neither the boys nor I were ready for supper at 5:00. SugarPlum was elated because she got to have a frozen dinner, which is nearly unheard of around here. Later, the boys had leftovers. YAY for them.
Now, the kids are in bed and SD has gone to pick up Mexican food for us. My task is to prepare the margaritas. Not too challenging, since we keep a bottle of the pre-mixed Jose Cuervo Gold margaritas in the fridge at all times. (For those emergency tequila situations, dontcha know).
However...as I was pouring the margaritas into the salted glasses, I reached the bottom of the bottle. And there is no back up bottle in the pantry (yes, there usually is).
Guess where I'm going in the morning.
(Fortunately, there was just enough for us to both have one. Now, I'm trying to remember that rhyme from college: Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. I should be okay with a Shiner Bock if I finish my margarita before my fajitas).
How are you? I can't believe that you came back. Remember me? I'm the lady that started this blog. And then apparently abandoned it this week. It's not you, it's me. Really.
I have had NO motivation to do anything lately, especially blog. I've barely been checking email. Last night I went to bed at 9:30.
Nine freaking thirty, people.
Take a look at some of my post times and you will see that I am never, ever in bed that early. I'm not sick, per se, just...meh.
Several weeks ago I underwent a major pharmaceutical overhaul. My doctor...excuse me, she's a CNP...my Primary Care Provider (love that HMO crap) discovered that my thyroid is just barely working. I also wanted to get off the Topamax. I was still having a couple of headaches a week, but that was not enough benefit to offset the risks, for me at least. PLUS, I could feel that dreaded depression creeping up on me again. And I wanted to take a look at my meds for that.
So, my PCP (!) put me on Synthroid for my thyroid, making sure to tell me that it would take a few weeks before I saw any real effects from it. I also got a beta blocker and a new SSRI. Woo hoo!
So after four weeks on the thyroid medicine, I was finally feeling great. My skin wasn't as dry, my nails were much less brittle (at least at the base - you can look at my nails and see the before and after). The lethargy had eased up some. My body was actually functioning normally for the first time in I can't tell you how long.
Given my family history, the doct- ahem, PCP- wanted to do an ultrasound of my thyroid. I had that the day before I left for Texas (!) (yes, I know I still haven't told you about that yet. Remember? MEH!) I got to Tommy and Peaches' house on Tuesday and Wednesday morning got a call from Nuclear Medicine saying that my PCP had ordered a thyroid scan and that in order to do it, I had to be off of the Synthroid for six weeks.
I decided that I needed to hear that from HER and find out exactly she found out from the ultrasound. As it turns out, I have a nodule on my thyroid. And, yes, she wants to have a scan done to give her a more definitive answer as to what exactly is going on with that little nodule.
Am I fweaked out? Yes, just a little. After consulting Dr. Google, I learned that most nodules are not cancer. But (always, a but, right?), my grandfather had thyroid cancer while I was pregnant with Bug, so I'm just a little fweaked out. Mostly, I'm frustrated about having to be off of the medicine for so long.
Also, after reading what Dr Google had to say, I'm a little dismayed that she didn't just order a fine needle biopsy (they take a tiny bit of tissue out with a needle (sorry for the visual, SD)), since it seems to be the quickest and most effective way of discerning benign/malignant tissue. Whatever. They don't pay me the big bucks to be a doctor (or nurse practitioner for that matter.).
So, now I have five more weeks to sit around and be meh. And to try not to yell or snap at my family. Because it's the hormone's fault, right? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Then go kiss your babies. Then? Kiss them again.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
My new favorite shirt
found at Television Without Pity
This comment by JC made me laugh. I want a t-shirt with this on it even more than the one above! "Along these lines I saw a shirt that said 'Bad grammar makes me [sic]'"
Although, to be honest, it should really read, "Poor grammar."