Since SD and I told the kids about the divorce, I have really worried about what effect this will have on all of them. SugarPlum is pretty good about talking to us both about what she is thinking and feeling, so far at least. And, since she is older, I know that she at least understands what is happening anyway.
As far as the boys, I have worried about whether they really "get" it. SD had to leave last April for school and so, it's been just the four of us for nearly a year now. I feel like, as parents, we have done a pretty good job of putting our kids first and trying to make this transition as painless as possible....though there is no possible way to make it NOT hurt.
After we told them, the boys seemed not that affected by the news. While I know that the change in our marital status changes their lives very little, I had a feeling that maybe they didn't really understand what we meant when we told them that we were getting a divorce. There was a part of me that thought that maybe when we said, "Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce," we could have as easily said "Mommy and Daddy are getting a camel" and it would have meant about the same thing. Only the camel would have been way cooler, natch.
So...I asked them, "Do you understand what 'divorced' means?" No, they didn't. I told them that, basically, as far as their lives were concerned, all it meant was that Mommy & Daddy wouldn't be married anymore. Which means that Daddy might have a girlfriend. Or that one day, Mommy might have a boyfriend. I asked if that was kind of weird to think about. And yes, it was. They didn't really have much to say about what they would think if Daddy had a girlfriend. Hmm.
What if Mommy had a boyfriend? "We'd beat him up. And then shoot him with a rocket."
So, isn't there anyone that might be okay for Mommy to have for a boyfriend one day? They thought about this. For quite some time. And here is what they came up with. If, one day, I decide that I want to date, I have permission from my boys to date TWO guys.
(okay...I can deal with that)
Not Indiana Jones, only Han Solo
Sorry Guys. The SugarBoys have spoken. Unless you want to chance getting shot by a rocket.....