Tuesday, December 05, 2006


No, not for you. But, I am hoping that I can get some answers...

1. When you would like a particular snack after school, your odds of getting said snack will increase most by:

a. Asking every three minutes.
b. Walking around saying, "I'm staaarrrrrving" and sighing heavily.
c. Maybe starting your homework and picking up your bedroom.
d. Throwing yourself on the floor and crying, "I want my Daddy!"

2. When you would like some milk, the best way to ask is to say:

a. MILK!!!!
b. May I have some milk please, Mommy?
c. IwantmilkIwantmilkIwantmilkIwantmilkIwantmilkIwantmilkIwantmilk

3. In the morning, the best way to get out the door for school without having to hear Mommy scream at you is to:

a. eat breakfast, get dressed, make sure your backpack is ready to go, then play with your brother if there is time before we have to go
b. Stretch and lay in bed for 15 minutes, complain about your breakfast choices and then eat at grand total of three bites of what I finally make for you, play with your brother, cry because Mommy screams at you, go into your room, wrestle with your brother, cry over the screaming again, whine while Mommy helps you get dressed, finally get in the car but forget your backpack, more screaming...you get the idea
c. Throw yourself on the floor and cry, "I want my Daddy!"
d. feign death

4. True or False: Mommy is really just joking when she says that about putting your toys away and getting ready for bed.

5. A reasonable amount of television viewing for a child is:

a. 2 hours/day
b. 16 hours/day
c. I'm sorry, can you ask me at the next commercial?

6. The snack you are most likely to get is:

a. a yogurt
b. a banana
c. a bag of cheetos and a can of Coke
d. if you don't stop that damn sighing, you aren't getting anything, missy!

7. When Mommy asks you to clean your room, that really means:

a. clean your room
b. get out what toys were still put away, pull all the books from the bookcase, strip the beds of sheets and run around naked screaming at the top of your lungs**
c. go outside
d. throw yourself on the floor and cry, "I want my Daddy!"

8. If you see Mommy digging around in her purse and then taking those little white pills, you should immediately:

a. lower your voice about 12,000 decibels
b. Sit down on your bed with a book and your hands folded nicely in your lap
d. all of the above
e. throw yourself on the floor and cry, "I want my Daddy"

9. When Mommy is on the phone you should interrupt her:

a. only if you are on fire or bleeding from your eyeballs.
b. whenever a thought enters your brain, regardless of how inane or relevant it is
c. ceaselessly.

10. Bedtime is:

a. no later than 8:30, no exceptions.
b. the best time to remember that one last homework assignment or thing you HAVE to have for school tomorrow or you will be in really big trouble.
c. an ideal time to play "jump out of bed as many times as you possibly can and poke your brother"
d. always the right time to throw yourself on the floor and cry, "I want my Daddy" (are you sensing a theme here?)

ESSAY: Daddy will be home in eight days and then you will get to see how "wonderful" things are when he is here. What, exactly, is it that you think that you will get way with while he is here that you haven't with me? Discuss.

**I SO wish that I was kidding about or exaggerating this particular event

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