Memorial Day 2010

IT IS THE SOLDIER

It is the Soldier, not the minister
Who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the Soldier, not the poet
Who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us freedom to protest.

It is the Soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the Soldier, not the politician
Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.

©Copyright 1970, 2005 by Charles M. Province

I'm a Berry Punny Girl!

I think that I may have single-handedly pissed off all the birds in Candyland. That's quite a feat, when you think about it. But the avian population is all atwitter right now over my actions. <----- (See what I did there? Birds? Atwitter? Hahaha! Just me then?)

Remember a few years back when I was so pleased and happy with the abundance of butterflies on my driveway who were attracted by the strange little berries? Well, I have yet to identify the berries, but now I HATE the little buggers. My driveway is pretty much covered with those berries, only they aren't attracting butterflies any more. They are attracting birds. All kinds of birds: robins, grackles, wrens, pigeons, and I don't know what else. But what I do know is that well fed birds crap all over my driveway. Yes, the driveway attached to this house that I am trying to sell.

I have been at a loss as to what to do about the berries. They really do look like little albino blackberries. According to the birds, they are quite delish. Being that they are freshly fallen berries - full of juicy goodness - I knew that if I tried to sweep them up, it would only lead to a big, mushy mess and a ruined broom (I know this because of the time one of the SugarBabies - not naming names, but it rhymes with "Rug") accidently spilled a huge container of fresh blackberries onto my beige tiled kitchen floor. So much for that broom (for the record, however, Clorox spray bleach + Sonic Scrubber = clean floor!). When I was on the phone with SD, he suggested the leaf blower, but I really don't have anywhere to blow them to, plus when I tried to scoop them up, we're back to the big-old-mushy-mess problem.

Then, in a stroke of genius, I realized the solution to my problem. Two words: Shop. Vac. (Okay, technically, that may just be one and a half words). I unraveled the superty-duper long extension cord and hooked that Shop Vac and went to town sucking up those berries from my drive way.

And the birds? Are none too pleased with me. Even over the giant sucking sound (paging Ross Perot...) I could hear them berating me.Shaking their little birdy fists at me. They were practically SHOUTING, "No, don't suck up the berries! That's our schmorgasboad. (even spell checker is stumped by that word)! How will we feed our babies?!" I felt a little like the mean Homeowners' Assn lady in "Over the Hedge."

Then I realized that my life is not created by Pixar or Dreamworks. (Because if it were, I would totally have a nanny & a maid.) (And a live-in masseur.) (And Mark Harmon would be my husband). AAAaannyyways, I stayed firmly grounded and continued sucking up berries - which almost completely filled up the Shop Vac -until the boys who are doing my yard while SD is gone - offered to blow what little was left them into a pile and haul them off for me. Teenage boys are so great...at least to me. Until MINE are teenage boys and then I'll probably have a different opinion.

So, right now, I firmly believe that the ShopVac is one of the greatest inventions in the history of the world. Right up there with the microwave oven and TiVo (seriously, I can pause live television!). Sadly, the berries will probably be back tomorrow. But I will prevail. I WILL PREVAIL!

(Okay, you know that I have just tempted Mother Nature and now she is going to totally kick my ass)

My Maw Maw

I know that I one of the lucky few, but up until about two years ago, all of my grandparents were still alive. I grew up 30 miles from both sets of grandparents and I have wonderful memories of all of them. In their own ways, they were each remarkable people who overcame so much to even grow up, much less have successful lives. They are each such a blessing to me.

Over the last two years, both of my grandfathers died. And last night, I found out that my Maw Maw died. Her husband (my Paw Paw, naturally) had a stroke about a year ago and died in October. I think that she finally just couldn't take living without him any more.

My Maw Maw (sorry, that sounds so childish, but that's who she is and I can't just call her "my grandmother) is probably who I was closest to. She grew up the youngest of four girls, born in the midst of the Great Depression in the middle of the dust bowl. They lived in a half-dugout house in West Texas. Her daddy died when she was 10. I know that it was a terrible, terrible death and that it influenced the rest of her life. How could it not? Eventually, they moved to Oklahoma and she met my very handsome (her words) Paw Paw. They got married when she was 16 and she became a mom at 18.

When I was little I thought that my Maw Maw was the most perfect person on the whole planet (and she likely was!). Her house always smelled like heaven to me. And anything that came from her house smelled like it - my brother & I would even say, "This smells like Maw Maw!" Clothes, toys, blankets...whatever, if it came from Maw Maw's house, I didn't want it washed until the smell had completely worn off. I can't even describe the mixture of Downy, potpourri, perfume, good food and grease from Paw Paw's machine shop. But all together, it was just perfect.

Maw Maw always made me feel like I was the smartest, most talented, prettiest girl in the world. If I was sad, being in her lap made things so much better. Or even the sound of her voice. I knew that I could tell her anything and my secret would be safe.

And as I grew up, she never wavered in her support. She told me more than once that I was the best mother that she had ever known. Which was HUGE because, evidently, she had never told MY mom that. Up until I had kids, Maw Maw was the best mom she ever seen. And you know that when you are in the middle of raising kids, hearing you are a good mom means the world. Especially when you hear it from the most perfect person on the planet.

Maw Maw also managed to make my kids feel so special and loved and appreciated. When she was going through chemo a couple of years ago, Bear made her paper hat to wear. And not only did she wear it, she made sure that my mom took a picture so that Bear could see her wearing it. And she would make a point to ask the kids to sing "Amazing Grace" or, really, any other song for her & followed it with lavish praise that would make the singer feel so proud and talented. Every picture they drew was beautiful and every poem or story they wrote was Pulitzer-worthy. Plus they were the smartest, most beautiful children on the planet. Just like their Mommy & Daddy (her words).

Maw Maw really loved nothing more than to sit and listen to her grandkids and great-grandkids play and laugh. My boys, of course, kept her in stitches. When my babies were born, she just wanted to hear them cry or laugh or make noise or just breathe.

I always thought that the phrase "a hole in my heart" was kind of trite and goofy. But really, I understand now. My Maw Maw made me who I am today. My confidence and self-esteem (and my deep, abiding appreciation for cute shoes) are in large part due her influence - her unfailing support and truly unconditional love - in my life. I'm having a very had time imagining this world without my Maw Maw. But, I know without a doubt that she is in heaven with my Paw Paw and she is happy and finally at peace.

I love you so much Maw Maw. Thank you for all you have been for me. Give Paw Paw a big hug and a kiss for me. I'll see you in heaven. Save a place for me.

So, who's the [insert horrifying name here] now?

Here is something I forgot about the internet - nothing is a secret. Especially when you are stupid enough to link to your blog on your Facebook for the world to see. And when you do that, eventually, SOMEONE is going to find out that you called their kid an asshole. To the world. On the internet.

And probably, that person is going to be someone you consider a friend - a friend who is far more courageous than you are and who will call you and let you know that now ALL the moms know that you called their kids names. And THOSE moms? Those moms are really wonderful people who you like and respect and now you horrified to learn that they know you are a total moron. And probably think you are a total bitch. For good reason.

Here's the thing....for all these years, this blog has been my place to vent. Few people from my "real world" knew about this blog so I was free to go on about the things in my life - good and bad and funny and mundane. This was my safe place to get that out and get support from my "blog friends" who have gotten me through more than you can even imagine.

But, the internet is a funny beast. And as I spent more and more time on Facebook, my worlds started to inter-mingle and I went a step too far. I can't even fathom how your heart fell into your stomach and your anger rose when you read my words. And I apologize profusely. I know that the Mama Bear in you must be as furious about what I did as I was last week. Probably more so, because I am an adult who knows better. And, honestly, each of your boys is a sweet kid. I know that. And I am ashamed and mortified and heart-broken at how I have behaved and made you all feel.I know that there is no way that I can "undo" what I wrote and put out there, but I have taken it down and am so, so sorry. I hope that one day you can forgive me.

Feeling a little "Mama-Bear-ish"

Dear Parents of Certain Third Grade Boys,

I get it. I really do. All you moms and dads grew up here together in Candyland, Texas and have been friends your whole lives. As a result, your kids have been friends since they day they were born. They spend weekends together and see each other over the summers and play on the same sports teams. I think that's fantastic. I am also almost a little envious because it's obvious your particular children are and will likely be the "cool kids" all the way up through high school. They are smart and good looking and have loads of self-confidence. But, and I hate to be the one to break it to you, they are little [jerks].

I will be the first to admit that Bear is kind of nerdy and awkward. He is very naive and probably a little less mature than your boys. But he is also sweet and innocent and one of the most loving, empathetic children I have ever known. Yes, he tries too hard. He will do almost anything to get to play with "his friends." He has been friends with your boys since Kindergarten and he really doesn't get why they don't want to hang out with him any more. And there isn't anything wrong with the fact that they don't want to hang out with him - the differences between him and your boys becomes more and more obvious every month. I am encouraging his friendships with other kids who are more like him.

But I wish that there was a way that I could actually communicate with all of you to PLEASE explain to your boys that there is no reason at all for them to be mean to Bear. They don't have to sit next to him at lunch. But they also don't have to make a big show of not letting him sit near them in the cafeteria - and THEN taunt him during recess about how he didn't GET to sit with them at lunch. They don't have to pick him to be their sit-up partner in PE, but they also don't have to say, "I pick Joey - NOT BEAR!" Please explain to your boys that just because it's easy to make my Bear cry, they shouldn't make that their daily goal.

I know most of you well enough to know that if you could see how they treat Bear, that you would be horrified. But I don't want to be "that mom" who calls and tattles on your kids for being mean to mine. I am doing my part by trying to explain to my son that if he cries when the boys say things that it will only get him labeled a "crybaby" and they will keep trying to make him cry. But there's a fine line there that I'm having trouble discerning at times. I don't want to make my kids think it's not okay to feel their feelings, but I am also trying to let them know that they don't have to express every feeling they have every moment they feel it. My heart hurts for my little boy. And his teacher even encouraged me to take him home early for some extra snuggle time yesterday because even SHE saw that your sons were really giving him a hard time.

I know that Bear only has to get through the end of the school year and then we are moving. It's kind of a relief because at least he'll be getting a fresh start. I feel like he has been labeled now and has a big target on him. If we were staying here, I would probably move him to a different school, which breaks my heart because I LOVE our school. But my boy is feeling beat down more and more. I hope that he recovers. Hell, I hope that I recover.

In the end, though, I have decided that I would much rather have a slightly dorky kid who is smart and empathetic and so full of love than an uber-athletic, popular [jerk]. ANY DAY.

Love,

Sugar Mommy

**edited** This post has put back in drafts for quite a long time since I originally posted it. I called these boys a name that was entirely inappropriate. It was not okay for me to do that. However....the rest of the sentiment and the facts behind this post remain. I've decided that since it is part of what really happened in our lives, I am going to post the edited version of it because I don't want to forget.

Grammar Nazi strikes again....

Yes, I know it's been a loooonnggg time, and now I'm just posting a picture again, but this makes me laugh & I need to share.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Blessings Abound!

Ever have one of those weeks where God is shouting at you, "I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL! SEE??" Yeah, that's what last week was like. One big picture of God's mighty power & grace. Blessing did abound!

I posted last week that God had laid Philippians 4:6-7 on my heart and that it was getting me thru the week.

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I really just thought God was helping me thru the stress of the last week before school starts. Things were busy and tense and I needed to let Him take care of it. I had no idea

If you saw my Facebook Saturday, you know that the transmission blew on my van . In Dallas. While I was taking my mom & the boys to the hotel. It was 101 degrees outside. Bear noticed the smell and then I saw smoke, thinking it was one of those "junkers" beside us as we exited the George Bush Freeway. Yeah, the smoke was coming from MY junker! That's when I started getting stressed. Really, really stressed. Then, that's when the blessings began.

BLESSINGS

1. The smoke started less than half a mile from the hotel. I managed to get to the hotel, avoiding being stranded in traffic, in the heat, in the middle of Dallas. I got Mom & the boys somewhat settled at the hotel & called USAA, who towed the van to the Honda dealership.

2. SugarDaddy had left about 45 minutes before I did and had SugarPlum & my dad with him at the soccer tournament. So, we had 2 cars there.

3. Another one of the soccer families was staying at the same hotel as us, so they took SP & my dad back to the hotel & then to the next game so that SD could meet me at the dealership.

4. Mom took care of the boys the whole time, walking them over to Black Eyed Pea for supper and then back to the hotel to swim.

5. After being informed that it would cost us $5000 for the dealership to replace the transmission & determining that we couldn't make an informed decision about buying a replacement THAT DAY, SD & I made it to the second game in time.

6. My wonderful friends, Mr & Mrs Jackalord got us a trailer and towed the van back to Candyland (2 hours each way!) with Mr. J's pickup. Who does that? AMAZING friends, that's who. We really didn't know what we were going to do otherwise.

7. After we got home, my beautiful friend, Charity, offered us the use of a car for as long as we needed it. That keeps us from having to rent a car while the van is being fixed or...if that is just going to be too much, it keeps us from having to jump into something without taking time to make a wise decision.

AND THEN...just to put icing on the blessing cake....God decides to show me that He really does have it ALL under control.

8. We finally heard from both of the boys' football coaches. (I'd been worried about football practice & how it would all work since last year it was a big hassle getting all three kids where they needed to be since it sometimes required me to be three places at once) Both of them have practice this year at the same place...at the same time....NOT on a soccer night! Woo hoo!!! Go God!

I still haven't heard about the van. The transmission guy says it will be early next week before he can tell me something. But honestly, I'm not worried. God has made it clear that He's got this one. I just need to get out of the way. Which brings to mind another verse in Philippians:

And my God will supply every need...Phil 4:19

Why Milk?

Every summer I am amazed at just how much milk these people drink. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I buy - at a minimum - six gallons of milk a week. It's unreal. They drink milk -- lots of milk -- with every meal. You can include me in that as well. I love, love, love milk. Nothing like it. And it doesn't hurt that milk helps you maintain a healthy weight, stave off hunger between meals, is great at hydrating, and of course makes your bones strong.

I watched my grandmother and four of my great-grandparents suffer the effects of osteoporosis. I know how easy it is to prevent that. And with the amount of milk these kids drink, I am fairly confident that we have a fighting chance at avoiding that particular malady! I know that I am blessed in this regard because I have many friends whose kids refuse to drink milk & have trouble working enough calcium & vitamin D into their diets.

The Milk Council has a new site called Why Milk? that offers facts, articles, recipes & suggestions for working milk into your diet. We tried this Strawberry-Banana Smoothie and loved it! And more importantly, SugarPlum's milk-hating buddy liked it as well. Her mother was thrilled! And while I haven't tried it yet, this recipe for Mom's Mocha Indulgence Smoothie looks like a little bit of heaven!

The Why Milk? site has an abundance of information including studies about the benefits of milk; tools such as a Beverage Analyzer to show the impact your beverage choices have on your health, Calorie Calculator, and workout recovery tips; contests and sweepstakes; and of course, you can look at all those celebrity "Got Milk?" shots (although, Dana Torres gives me a complex. No woman should be THAT buff at my age!).

But really, the recipes are my favorite part. They have suggestions for every meal as well as snacks. And, most importantly for me, they are easy, sensible recipes with ingredients (MILK?!) that I normally have and that don't take all day to prepare!

So, go visit the Why Milk? site. Your bones will thank you!

FREE STUFF!!! (any questions?)

Celebrate summer with the Mom Central Summer Giveaway Bonanza! Each week, Mom Central will post new giveaways just for Moms and their families on MomCentral.com. They'll have tons of great prizes throughout the summer for you and all members of your family. Some of the giveaways include:

• Hoover Cyclonic Bagless Upright Vacuum: This new vacuum from Hoover removes more dirt than other cyclonic bagless vacuums due to its patented wind tunnel technology and embedded dirt finder. With power controls on the handle, it reduces bending to get to those hard-to-reach places and easily moves from hard floor to carpet.

• Crayola Play Sand: Transform an ordinary sandbox with a splash of color or design colorful art projects with a 20 lb. bag of Crayola Play Sand. The sand doesn't stain hands and features an easy-to-carry handle to make transporting easy on Moms.

• Jeep Tandem Stroller: Built to accommodate your growing family, the Tandem Traveler Stroller features sun canopies, reclining seat backs, car-seat adaptors, and cup holders that will leave you feeling like the coolest mommy on the block.

• Razor Jr. Electric Wagon: Put a modern spin on the classic wagon with the Razor Jr. Electric Wagon. Traveling safely at 2-3 miles per hour, parents have assistance while cruising the block.

This is only a sample of the great stuff they are giving away all summer. Head over there now & sign up. You KNOW you love free stuff! (You can thank me later!)

So wrong it's right....

I just read the following exchange on my Facebook & about wet my pants. These are people I have known since elementary school. Ryan now hosts a radio sports show & has two young kids....


Ryan:
oddly enough, they don't sell Backyardigans CD's at Local Liquor. Who knew???

Karen at 1:30pm July 11
Try Pinkies.

Ryan at 1:37pm July 11
Good point. They might even have Imagination Movers.

Matt at 1:39pm July 11
they should have Handy Manny. That guy knows how to tilt a Silver Bullet

Karen at 1:41pm July 11
I thought Manny was probably a bud light man.

Matt at 1:42pm July 11
no, before bidness picked up he was a Natty lite guy.

Ryan at 1:43pm July 11
Wonder if Kelly is mixing up drinks at that hardware store all day long...

Matt at 1:44pm July 11
The "tool" are Double X.

Karen at 1:45pm July 11
I feel like I've stooped to a new low. But I am laughing at this.

Matt at 1:45pm July 11
It's Saturday. She is usually dancing 3 shows at Jaguars.

Ryan at 1:48pm July 11
I'm pretty sure I just heard her ad on SportsRadio 1234!

Matt at 1:49pm July 11
We won't talk about Mr. Lopart's whiskey induced trip to the playground to see the kids.

Karen at 1:50pm July 11
Or what Ms Portillo sells out the back door of her kitchen.

Matt at 1:50pm July 11
nothing goes with sports radio like strip clubs and booze.

Carl at 1:52pm July 11
Kelly, always has what Manny "needs".

Matt at 1:52pm July 11
i hope the 5 & Under crowd still don't read Ryan's updates.

There was a fiasco with the Mayor and 2 of her younger interns.

Matt at 1:57pm July 11
Remember the very special episode where Manny cleaned Kelly's plumbing with help from Pat and Philipe.

Matt at 1:58pm July 11
OK- Shame on me....

Carl at 2:00pm July 11
Anyone remember the "Honey-Do" Man, that worked here in town? The side of his van said, "Let me snake your drain." Forgive me if I crossed the line with that one.

Tessa at 2:18pm July 11
That was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!! You all should be ashamed of yourselves!!! Go release a balloon and repent!!

Matt at 2:22pm July 11
but you laughed.

Don't let the donuts win!

You know what's really loud? No, I mean make-you-get-out-of-bed-to-make-it-shut-up loud?

Krispy Kream Donuts. They are loud. And? Somehow they know my name.

My wonderful, handsome husband bought one of those "fundraiser" boxes of KK's yesterday. I didn't see them until we got home from soccer last night. And, since it was 104 at soccer practice last night, the only thing that sounded good to eat was something COLD. As such, I was able to resist the siren song of the plain, glazed bites of heaven. Then I went to bed & had actually forgotten about them. Hard to believe, but true, nonetheless. I was lying in bed reading Atlas Shrugged, minding my own beeswax when I heard it. It was faint at first...

"Buffi...."
"Buuufffffiiiiii...."

I brushed it off as the wind in the trees and my imagination working together & continued to take in Dagny & Hank's intense relationship & Ayn Rand's eerie prophecy. (OMG!!!) But then it got louder & more insistent:

"Buuuffffffiiiii!"
"Yo! Buff!"
"Buffi! C'mon!"

Finally, I had to get put of bed & make it stop before it woke the kids. Because they really, really needed their sleep. We can't have stupid donuts waking them. So, I made my way to the kitchen, book in hand, with every intention of merely speaking to the donuts and asking them to please be quiet, it was the middle of the night and people were trying to sleep, for goodness sake.

But those donuts would NOT shut up. So, I opened the box and took one out so that I could look it in the face & make myself clear - but its eyes sorta glazed over (<-----ha! see what I did there?!). I did what I had to do. I ate the little mf'er. And then? I ate another one, just to ensure that they got the message. I know, you're amazed at my self-sacrifice for these children. That shut them up for a while. Late this morning, I had to eat another one, just in case they got ballsy later this evening. Because I will not tolerate insubordination. Alas, their numbers are so depleted at this point, I think we may be safe. However, I think I may have heard the survivors snickering and saying something about my ass getting bigger. I'll probably have to put a stop to THAT before the night's over.

Things that get me thru the day.....

Okay, things have been crazy, crazy crazy around here. The last few weeks of school are always insane & this year has not disappointed. I find myself wondering when we can all just sit down and eat together amidst all the activities that come along with having three kids.

One extraordinarily useful tool I recently discovered (thank you MomCentral!) is MakingLifeBetter.com. This site has it all - recipes (real recipes for REAL moms who don't have time or budget for anything too fancy, but still want to actually cook dinner for their families) with demo videos!, coupons, time and money saving advice, beauty and health tips....but it's not aggravating or condescending. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but it really makes me feel "empowered" (as goofy as that sounds) and not incapable. It sometimes makes all the difference when you're feeling overwhelmed. Check it out! You'll be glad you did!

The other site I found that I love is Mamapedia. What is hysterical about this is that "Mamapedia" is my nickname among some of my friends. I can't decide if that is a compliment or an insult, but I just tell myself that it's because I have a lot of random knowledge that I am always happy to share. NOT that I am a bossy know-it-all. Right? Don't answer that.

Anywho......if you have a question ANY question about parenting, pregnancy, child development, illness.....anything, really, you can find an answer on Mamapedia. And not the clinical, research-y answer that leaves you with as many questions as answers. Mamapedia gives you answers from other moms who have already tackled what you are wondering about and are sympathetic to your plight and ready offer advice, recommendations and sympathy. You get answers that make sense and don't leave you feeling more confused than you already were! As SugarPlum approaches the teen years, I am looking forward to input from those moms who have been "in the trenches." And, as the mom of two little boys there are always questions and frustrations. ALWAYS

Please check out Mamapedia. I am confident that you will really come to appreciate it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And on that note, I am off to take SugarPlum to a "Hooray, School's Out!" sleepover. And then to hang out with my boys. Hopefully, I will find time to share some of our antics this summer. These people are HILARIOUS!

So, yeah, this happened....

So much happening lately and, yet, at the same time there is really nothing happening at all. Which is funny because I really feel like I have been going non-stop for weeks now. And it's exhausting. Which is one of the problems. I'm just wiped out tired all of the time. So, I've been seeing the flight surgeon to try and figure out what the heck is wrong with me. I know that being tired is part of being a mom, but this is crazy. I honestly feel like I could go to sleep at any point in the day - anywhere.

So, the flight surgeon - and not the idiot flight surgeon I have seen in the past, but the KING of the flight surgeons (okay, maybe not his official USAF title, but close enough) - has been kind enough to make time in his schedule to really try to help me. Unfortunatly, solving the mystery involves bloodwork. Lots and lots of bloodwork. The first time, I had to be fasting for the blood tests. This always baffles me. They tell me to not eat anything after midnight, then come in (after getting three kids ready & off to school) and they take like a liter of blood. So...I'm starving and NOW severly anemic - and then they send me home. "Good Luck!" I never remember to bring a granola bar.

Good news? My cholesterol numbers are fabulous! My thyroid test were right on the money! Blood sugar? A little low, but nothing extraordinary. The down side of this is that now I have to get more blood tests. On the up-side, these don't involve fasting. Down side? SIX VIALS of blood. Thank goodness these don't require fasting. If I wasn't anemic before, I most certainly was afterward.

Those tests....were also unremarkable. Blood counts are good. No rhumetoid issues, no auto-immune markers. This seems like it should be good news, but it just means that we still don't know what is wrong. Grrrrrrrrr. So, now, he is sending me to a rheumetologist and he's sending me for a sleep study. Seems SD has informed him that I snore. Dr. King says that if I weighed 300 lbs he would have done the sleep study from the get-go, but since he and my therapist always feel the need to ask me if I am eating, that doesn't seem to be an indicator, but I could be suffering from sleep apnea. We'll see.

UPDATE: (This should have been posted on this date, but never was. So I'm posting it three years later. Nothing ever was really discovered at the sleep study other than I have some restless leg syndrome and I snore, but don't have any apnea. So, three years later, I've had lots of other tests and surgery and different meds....and a divorce and started grad school.....I'm just a hot mess, that's all...)

Plant a Seed to Grow a Healthy Kid!

You all know that between soccer, football, basketball, volleyball and any-other-ball that sports plays a HUGE role in the lives of my kids & thus in my life. We have been fortunate, thus far anyway, to always have wonderful facilities & fields for our kids to play on. However I know that not all families or communities are so blessed. So I feel compelled to share this with you...

Mom Central teamed up with Kellogg's Frosted Flakes back in January to let our community know about its Earn Your Stripes (EYS) field renovation program that aimed to renovate neighborhood sports fields across the U.S. Since that time, thousands of fields were nominated some with as many as 700,000 supporters! Those fields have now been narrowed down to 100 finalists and your vote will help determine the winning fields.

The semifinalist fields were chosen based on the feasibility of the field makeover, the location and age of the field, how often it gets used, how many events take place, what teams use it, the number of other athletic fields in the community, the demand, condition, and the impact a field renovation would have on the community.

From May 1st through the 31st, you can vote for your favorite semifinalist field at www.frostedflakes.com. Do you have a field in your area that got nominated or do you like one with a particularly compelling story? Those who nominated these fields described the conditions as having inadequate grass, equipment, uneven playing surfaces and other problems. These renovations will help to build community and provide better places for kids to stay active and play.

If you have a second (and you know you do!) go vote and help some kids have a better chance to be active & healthy!

Because my hypochondria wasn't heightened enough....

I've been seeing the flight surgeon quite a bit lately in the hopes of figuring out what, exactly, is wrong with me. (Physically - I gave up on my mental health years ago.) I've had quite a myriad of bizarre symptoms - joint pain, headaches, and soul-crushing fatigue. Every test that he does comes back normal. In fact, the doctor has been laughing that I am "abnormally normal." My blood counts are good, blood sugar is good, cholesterol, thyroid, iron, all normal. He had me do a sleep study - which turned out fine. (Oooooh...I need to tell you about that soon!) Even my CT scan was clear. I'm ridiculously healthy for someone who feels this crappy.

So, Monday, my mom sends me the "Ovarian Cancer" email. You know the one that goes around every few months that talks about how ovarian cancer is a "silent killer," that it can't be detected on your PAP smear, that its symptoms "whisper" and lists all the "whispering" symptoms. Really, it is one of my biggest fears.

As I said, mom sent me the email this week, and she highlighted all of the symptoms of ovarian cancer that I have. Each in a different color. SERIOUSLY. She's thoughtful that way.

Now I am obsessing over the fact that I am dying of ovarian cancer. The flight surgeon is going to love me when I call to tell him this. I always say, you can't have too many neuroses!!

I apologize now for the blatant abuse of parentheticals....

Tuesday morning....you are not my friend.

This morning started out okay. SugarPlum & I overslept a little, but only like four minutes. However, she has her morning routine down to a science, so four minutes can make or break her some days. Luckily, nothing of hers needed to be ironed, so SugarDaddy was able to get her out the door and off to school by 7:00. (Yes, 7:00 am. I know, right?)

Bug had woken up early & ate breakfast with SP. Normally he eats at the same time as Bear, but he was "really, really hungry!" so I went ahead and fixed his breakfast, too. But it just sort of threw my morning off. After SD & the girl were off, & after a few snuggles with Bug, I woke Bear up. This isn't an easy task, in that he is MY child and hates to wake up in the morning. It takes songs, back rubs, and silly little jokes - it's vital that he wake up happy or everyone's day is ruined. Then I fixed is cereal & scrambled eggs w/ bacon & cheese, got the boys' clothes ironed and actually on their bodies. (This is more difficult than it sounds most mornings. More than once Bug has been *thisclose* to going to school in his pjs. Oh, yes I would!) We actually ended up with enough time for the boys to play for a few minutes before they went to school! YAY!

This is where it started to fall apart. Okay, not that bad, but still.

The phone rings. SD( who had a monumentally bad day yesterday & had not had a good night's sleep leading to him misunderstanding my "I-just-woke-up-voice" for my "I-hate-you-you-are-a-moron-voice" - which doesn't exist but evidently is interpreted as such more often than I deserve)** had left his flight suit at home. Being a commander he never knows what uniform he will need at a particular point in the day, so he goes to work in jeans & t-shirt and changes there. But....I washed his flight suits last night & he left it here. So I agreed to bring it to him after I got it ironed & got the boys off to school. (And can I just say that flight suits are a BITCH to iron.)

At this point, the boys were ready except for shoes & socks - which didn't seem to be a priority for them. So after much shouting, bribery & threats, I finally got them off to school. Then I headed to the base with SD's clothes. After a brief chat, I volunteered to go to the coffee shop on base to get SD a Venti Caramel Macchiato and some tea for his secretary. (Always take care of the secretary. Secretaries make the world go 'round!) I was happy to be able to do something for SD since we had been a little cross with each other this morning.

I get over to the base library (home of the coffee shop) & find followed my nose to the coffee shop. There, I found the little barista chick, sitting in a cushy chair reading. She hops up & takes my order...which took a second, because I was unsure of what tea to get. When she rings me up, I discover that I have no cash & have to use my credit card. I am - evidently - visibly aggravated by that fact.

While she is making the drinks, I said something, can't remember what, but barista chicky says to me, "Yeah, you seem a little strung-out."

What?

THEN she says, "I'd say that's okay, but it's only Tuesday."

So, twenty-year-old chick who works at a very NOT busy Starbucks, is telling the mom of three kids who's day just got busier that I seem strung out. And that it is clearly not okay, because it's only Tuesday? Seriously?

I didn't even know what to say. I know that I am being over-sensitive, but who made her the arbiter of who gets to be stressed out? Seriously? Already, I am looking at this & laughing. But at 8:30 this morning, I was just pissed.

She SO didn't get a good tip.

ICE CREAM!

First, just let me say...I KNOW, three months without posting and now I'm posting a review?! It's been so unbelievably insane here the past three months. Hospitals, work, sports, school, sick kids....blogging sort of fell off my radar. Basically, if it couldn't be expressed in less than 140 characters or so on Twitter or Facebook, it wasn't going to get posted. I feel like I am beginning to get a handle on things again, so hopefully, you will be hearing a lot more from me from now on. But first, this (which will be moved to the review site as soon as I get the ball rolling here again)....

When Mom Central asked if I'd be interested in participating in the Haagen-Dazs Five blog tour, the answer, of course was, "Well, DUH." I assumed I would get some coupons for a pint or two of scrumptious ice cream so that I could try and tell you all about it. And of course, being Haagen-Dazs, I knew it would be a rave review.

I was mostly right.

In the middle of a week where I was helping care for my grandfather here at Candyland General Hospital and on the very afternoon that I had to break it to my kids that our dogs had escaped the night before - with no collars - I was pulling into the driveway with a sobbing SugarPlum (just told about the dogs) when I noticed a rather large box on the front porch. Upon bringing the box in & opening it, I found FOUR PINTS OF ICE CREAM. Absolute, irrefutable proof that Jesus loves me. Ice cream! On my front porch! On one of the worst days of my life!!

SugarPlum and I cracked open a couple of those cartons with great haste. And let me tell you, these weren't just any old Haagen-Dazs pints. These are the new Haagen-Dazs FIVE ice creams. They are little pints of pure, unadulterated ice DREAM - just five all-natural ingredients of milk, cream, sugar, eggs, and one "hero" flavor ingredient such as vanilla bean, mint, coffee, ginger, or milk chocolate. No color, no HFCS, no nothing but pure ecstasy, baby! This means that the mint isn't garishly, unnaturally green, the passion fruit flavor isn't pink, or orange or whatever color some marketing guy thinks passion fruit should be.

I grabbed the mint. This ice cream is straight from heaven. I am harshly critical of mint ice cream, especially. I don't like "peppermint" or "wintergreen" flavored stuff. This mint was just creamy, minty wonderfulness.

SP picked the brown sugar flavor. She described it as "Cadbury Cream Egg mixed with soy sauce...but in a good way." I personally can't imagine any scenario where that combination might happen "in a good way," but the ice cream tasted pretty good to me.

They also sent ginger, which was unusual,but I really liked it. I do think, however, that it's something you have to be in the mood for. All three kids thought it was "yucky." So it must be more of a sophisticated taste. Like asparagus. Or martinis.

The kids really enjoyed the Passion Fruit. It was the boys' favorite. I found the flavor a little off-putting, but I just don't like that flavor of anything. I can see that some folks would really, really like it. It's very fresh tasting and creamy.

I was happy that I could give my family this ice cream with no guilt since the simplicity of it also gives it less fat! SERIOUSLY. I am looking forward to trying the other Haagen-Dazs Five flavors - with the free coupons I got along with the ice cream! Yes, really! It's available in Mint, Ginger, Vanilla Bean, Milk Chocolate, Passion Fruit, Coffee, and Brown Sugar. To learn more visit the Haagen-Dazs Five website.

Thanks Mom Central!

Whole lotta crap nobody cares about

1. Do you like blue cheese?
nope. but I like Gorgonzola, so figure that one out

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
Um, no. Mary, do you have something to tell us?

3. Do you own a gun?
nope

4. Your favorite song?
Suite Judy Blue Eyes, Crosby, Stills, & Nash

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Depends on the Dr.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I try not to think of them or I get squicked out

7. Favorite Christmas song?
Angels We Have Heard on High

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Tea - PG Tips!

9.Can you do push ups?
Not if I don't absolutely have to

10. Favorite exercise?
jumping to conclusions; running off at the mouth

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
my wedding ring

12. Favorite hobby?
napping

13. Last place you ate?
Kitchen table

14. Do you have A.D.D?
No of course not.....Look! Something shiny!

15. What one trait do you hate about yourself?
Procrastination

16. Middle Name?
Sexy is my middle name, BABY

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment...
I should really go to bed
I wonder if I have any new email
Why am I still awake?

18. Name 3 Shows you watched yesterday...
Fetch with Ruff Ruffman
MythBusters

America's Next Top Model

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink...
Tea, Milk, Water

20. Current worry right now?
sanity

21. Current hate right now?
Paris Hilton - GO AWAY

22. Favorite place to be?
the beach

23. How did you bring in the New Year?
BUNCO!

24. Where would you like to go?
Colorado to see Hula, NC to see Mary, VA to see the Queen

25. Name three people who will complete this list?
probably nobody

26. Do you own slippers?
yep, rarely wear them

27. What shirt are you wearing?
My cousin's HS Basketball team shirt

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
too slippery

29. Can you whistle?
Yes

30. Favorite color(s)?
blue, yellow

31. Would you be a pirate?
not if I could help it

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
none

33. Favorite girl's name?
JOY

34. Favorite boy's name?
Hmmmm, Sawyer?

35. What's in your pocket right now?
no pockets

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
SugarBug

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Raggedy Ann & Andy

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Whiplash after a car accident in HS

39. Do you love where you live?
Yes, very much

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
2

41. Who is your loudest friend?
AR

42. How many dogs do you have?
two

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
You're funny

44. Favorite TV show?
NYPD Blue. Current show? Project Runway

45. What is your favorite book?
To Kill a Mockingbird

46. What is your favorite candy?
Aero bar

47. Favorite Sports Team?
Whatever team my kid is on

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Why, do you know something I don't?

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
sleeping

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Damn, again?

As long as they don't start emulating Freddie Mercury....

Bug & Bear found a book of nursery rhymes Friday. They paged thru, reciting the ones that they know ( most of them). Then they came to Wee Willie Winkie and all hilarity broke loose as they started doing this song, ala Queen:

We will, we Will-ie
WIN-KIE!
*boom boom BAM boom boom BAM*
We will, We Will-ie
WIN-KIE!

At this point Bug attempts some sort of rap-type-thing that went something like:

I'm Wee Willie WINKIE
I run thru the TOWN
Upstairs & Downstairs
In my NIGHT GOWN!

(you get the idea)

SD and I were laughing so hard that we could hardly catch our breath. And the best part was that they did this for well over 20 minutes. Oh, dear lord in heaven, it was so stinking hilarious. Some days, I love living in this house with these people!