What's in a name?

I have a thing about nametags. I really think that they should be required in any an all situations where I am meeting people - and not just for the first time. I have a terrible short term memory and it takes me FOREVER to learn people's names.


This is especially bad in a flying squadron. Fighter pilots (and other flyers, sometimes) all have call signs (think Top Gun - Maverick, Goose, Ice, Hollywood, etc). The problem is, they all call each other by their call signs most of the time. So, truly, I don't know some guy's names. If I am friends with their wives (okay, SPOUSES - it is the 21st century), sometimes I know the guy's name, although, sometimes the wives call their husband's by the call sign as well. I usually know a guy's call sign or his real name -- rarely both.

As an aside, I have a theory that if you aren't sure of a fighter pilot's name, you can say Dave, Mike or Jim and be right at least 65% of the time.


Anyway, I have been campaigning for years to have the guys, when we have a function with couples, wear a nametag stating their call sign, their actual name, and to whom they belong. For example: SugarDaddy Lastname, "Maverick"**, Buffi's husband.

(oh, please like you still dont have a tiny crush on Maverick from Top Gun. NOT Tom Cruise, just Maverick. don't kill my fantasy here.)

Reciprocally, I would be perfectly willing to wear a nametag saying Buffi Lastname, Maverick's wife. Then we can all put the pieces together and know exactly who it is we are talking to. This will also help avoid those awkward situations where you are going on and on about what an ass some guy is only to find out that A) you are talking to his wife and B) her husband is YOUR husband's boss. Oh, yeah. Like THAT'S never happened.

I also think that we should wear nametags like this in other situations. At church, after-school pick up, PTA (Buffi: Bug's Mom), dinner parties, Target (because, seriously I cannot go to Target without seeing at least four people I know, at least peripherally), weddings (Buffi: college roommate of Bride), etc.

I think that this would be helpful at funerals as well. We were at a Memorial Service recently and I just couldn't help feeling bad for the wife and extended family of the deceased because they looked at so many people like "who the heck are you?" As did all of the other folks at the funeral. I wondered how some of these folks fit in. I just think that it would be better if you had your name and "Jim's sister-in-law," "Jim's ex-wife's brother" "Jim's barber" "Jim's boss's wife" "I work for the funeral home" "I'm a creep who just likes to go to funerals."


Could this get out of hand? Yes. But would it be SO MUCH FUN? For me anyway? Absolutely.