* Oh, look! She finally got married. Bless her heart.
* WOW! He's lost ALL of his hair in the past ten years!
* Wonder if she's still a bitch....of course she is.
* So glad to see that they are still married. They were always my favorite couple.
* LOOK! She has a blog! AND she Twitters!
* Really? He's married? To a GIRL? I would have bet it all that he was gay.
* Holy shit! SEVEN KIDS?
* Damn, he still looks good.
* She alive? I would swear I heard that she OD'd.
* He invented THAT? I knew I should have gone out with him when he asked.
* Oh, dear...still has that 80's hair doesn't she?
* Who the hell is that? I don't remember her at all.
* Wow. He reproduced? How unfortunate.
* Really? Posted your prom picture? Not your best moment, hon.
* Aw, cute kids! Wait. She has a 21 year old? That means that during senior year, she...hmmm. I have no memory of that.
* He made parole? Scary.
* She was always so skinny! No fair!
* Mmmmm. He still looks like Jason Bateman!
* I can't look at her with out hearing her sad, sad performance of Total Eclipse of the Heart in my head. Make it stop!!!
Oh, yes it also occurred to me that perhaps, MAYBE I have become a bit of a judgemental bitch. But let's keep that to ourselves, shall we?