Monday, January 14, 2008


I believe.....
  • that children should have to do their own laundry.

  • that I should get double workout credit for every time I have to walk across the house to fetch a blanket, stuffed animal, lost shoe, or a Diet Coke. Especially Diet Coke.

  • that for every episode of Caillou that I have ever have to watch, I should be compensated with an extra episode of Project Runway, Grey's Anatomy, America's Next Top Model, and/or an entire extra season of Sex and the City.

  • that you should tell your loved ones that you love them as often as you can.

  • that all personal injury lawyer commercials should be prohibited under penalty of death.

  • that I really should have stopped having these acne breakouts by now.

  • that if it doesn't taste good, the calories and fat should be deducted from your ass.

  • that Moms should get a mute button to eliminated that whiny, shrieking sound that follows such phrases as "bedtime," "go clean your room," or "share that with your brother."

  • that I should be also get to project an eardrum-splitting alarm directly through the phone line and into the ear of that Indian guy who keeps calling me from Chase bank, trying to sell me "business services."

  • that time should stop while I am on the computer and not restart until I am done reading all I need to read so that I don't have to feel guilty about it.

  • that mommy-guilt should burn at least twice as many calories as exercise.

  • that every Mommy, regardless of whether she works or not, deserves to have a housekeeper.

  • that those roller skate sneaker things should be made illegal.

  • that Xanax should be available over the counter for moms.

  • that people who call their kids "stupid" or "worthless" or anything similar should be tarred and feathered.

  • that shaving your legs between October and April should be banned.

  • that Webkinz are a tool of Satan.

  • that my girlfriends are the only ones keeping me sane much of the time.

  • that I want to be as mean as this mom when my kids get older.

(SugarMommy reserves the right to add to this list when ever something else of importance occurs to her. This could happen with alarming frequency. You've been warned)

No comments: