Someone get my mother out of my brain!!

I have been dismayed as of late by some of the things that have come out of my mouth. Phrases that, years ago, I SWORE I would never use on my children. Yet now, I am hearing my mothers voice come out of my mouth and it is disheartening to say the least. Though, on more than one occasion I've almost been moved to call and apologize for my childhood. Almost. There is still enough inner-teenager at work that I cannot give her the satisfaction.

Phrases I swore I would never use:

• Washing the dishes is not the same as cleaning the kitchen. When the counters and table are still filthy, the kitchen is NOT clean. Only the dishes are.


• I can't believe that I buy you nice clothes just to see them wadded up in your bedroom floor. Nobody appreciates anything around here.


• Did you brush your hair? Really? Well, maybe you should go back over it again and this time try to get the tangles out.


• Either YOU clean up your toys or I will clean them up. But when I clean them up, I use a garbage bag.


• Fine. Wear that to school/soccer/outside if you want to. But I don't want to hear about how cold you were all day.


• Stop tormenting your brother. He will be bigger than you someday and you will regret all the mean things you did to him. Trust me.


• Well, I'm not (random friend's name)'s Mom, am I? You'll have to see if you can move in with him/her if that's what you want.


• Why don't you have a piece of fruit instead?


• Not until your room is clean.

See what I mean? Oh, the humanity!