As the wedding and our trip (my second) to TEXAS!! rapidly approaches, I realized that I needed to figure out what clothes to take. I was dismayed to discover that my ass has grown to such gargantuan dimensions that even my fat pants are too tight. Very disheartening.
At any rate, I had to have decent clothes to take with me to TEXAS!! (sorry, I'm excited!). I have been shopping all over for pants. Specifically, I was wanting some khaki and/or black capri pants. Because no way am I showing off my elephant thighs in shorts. As I browsed through the racks (at sizes I have never, ever had to look at, damn it), I realized that the capris were few and far between. They been replaced by these!
Gauchos, wide leg cropped pants, split skirt...I don't care what you call them they are butt ugly (Especially on a BIG butt...hahaha!). And I refuse to wear them. Except....the knit ones look awfully comfortable. But NO. I kept my resolve and kept looking until I found a pair of black pants and finally , at Target no less, I found a pair of khaki ones. But really, when will this insanity end??
I have all of these great, cute pants in my closet. That don't fit. Stupid thyroid. (Yes, it's all the thyroid's fault, not the Girl Scout cookies. Shut up.)
Oh, and did I mention that I got my hair cut and my eyebrows waxed?? Pictures forthcoming. LOVE my haircut. The eyebrows? Well, not exactly what I was going for, but once the blisters go away, I'm sure they will be fine. But that is a post unto itself.
So, today we leave for the Great State of TEXAS!! Me and my big, humongous capris. And my ever expanding ass. Oh, and the husband and kids (since he is the one flying the plane, I guess I should include him).We will hopefully find a house on Wednesday that we will actually buy. And then I'm off to be the matron of honor and chief defender of bridal sanity. Truly, I have my work cut out for me. She's not bridezilla (YET) but she is starting to fweak out. Wish me luck!!
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