Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The post where I'm all "meh" (and I use a lot of parentheses)

Oh, HI!!

How are you? I can't believe that you came back. Remember me? I'm the lady that started this blog. And then apparently abandoned it this week. It's not you, it's me. Really.

I have had NO motivation to do anything lately, especially blog. I've barely been checking email. Last night I went to bed at 9:30.

Nine freaking thirty, people.

Take a look at some of my post times and you will see that I am never, ever in bed that early. I'm not sick, per se, just...meh.

Several weeks ago I underwent a major pharmaceutical overhaul. My doctor...excuse me, she's a Primary Care Provider (love that HMO crap) discovered that my thyroid is just barely working. I also wanted to get off the Topamax. I was still having a couple of headaches a week, but that was not enough benefit to offset the risks, for me at least. PLUS, I could feel that dreaded depression creeping up on me again. And I wanted to take a look at my meds for that.

So, my PCP (!) put me on Synthroid for my thyroid, making sure to tell me that it would take a few weeks before I saw any real effects from it. I also got a beta blocker and a new SSRI. Woo hoo!

So after four weeks on the thyroid medicine, I was finally feeling great. My skin wasn't as dry, my nails were much less brittle (at least at the base - you can look at my nails and see the before and after). The lethargy had eased up some. My body was actually functioning normally for the first time in I can't tell you how long.

Given my family history, the doct- ahem, PCP- wanted to do an ultrasound of my thyroid. I had that the day before I left for Texas (!) (yes, I know I still haven't told you about that yet. Remember? MEH!) I got to Tommy and Peaches' house on Tuesday and Wednesday morning got a call from Nuclear Medicine saying that my PCP had ordered a thyroid scan and that in order to do it, I had to be off of the Synthroid for six weeks.

I decided that I needed to hear that from HER and find out exactly she found out from the ultrasound. As it turns out, I have a nodule on my thyroid. And, yes, she wants to have a scan done to give her a more definitive answer as to what exactly is going on with that little nodule.

Am I fweaked out? Yes, just a little. After consulting Dr. Google, I learned that most nodules are not cancer. But (always, a but, right?), my grandfather had thyroid cancer while I was pregnant with Bug, so I'm just a little fweaked out. Mostly, I'm frustrated about having to be off of the medicine for so long.

Also, after reading what Dr Google had to say, I'm a little dismayed that she didn't just order a fine needle biopsy (they take a tiny bit of tissue out with a needle (sorry for the visual, SD)), since it seems to be the quickest and most effective way of discerning benign/malignant tissue. Whatever. They don't pay me the big bucks to be a doctor (or nurse practitioner for that matter.).

So, now I have five more weeks to sit around and be meh. And to try not to yell or snap at my family. Because it's the hormone's fault, right? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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