Letters I'd love to write, but probably never will... *updated*

Dear TXU person(s) who read my post:

I know that you read my post about the atrocious behavior of your customer service representatives (also known as "big, fat liars" and in one instance "bitch from hell) (except for Von) (and Bob*). I saw you on my stat counter. I saw more than one of you.

Would it have killed you to leave a comment saying, "I'm sorry?" That would have gone a long way in restoring my faith in your company. As it is we will be switching to another company this week. And telling all of our friends. Remember Texas is a big state with six Air Force bases alone. Not to mention Army, Navy, Marines and Coast Guard. Word travels fast among military folks. Sucks to be you.

Yours (but not for long),
Buffi

*I know that Bob is NOT a customer service person. But he is my hero...thus, the mention.
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Dear Creepy Sacker Guy at the grocery store,

When I go to the store at 11:00 in the evening wearing grubby old sweats, a faded college t-shirt, no makeup except for the mascara circles under my eyes and my (dirty) hair in a ponytail, you saying, "You look nice tonight!" in that creepy way you do does NOT impress me. It sorta skeeves me out.

And the way that you always make it a point to hightail it to my lane when I am shopping there is less than endearing. You know I am married. You have seen my three monkeys children. I'm not available and even if I were, sackers with such obvious acne problems are not my style. Actually, I outgrew sackers in the 11th grade. Leave me alone.

NOT yours,
Buffi

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Dear USAF,

SD will be unable to attend the "remote assignment" you had planned for him. Due to *ahem* a recent (re)discovery. I am very sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause.

Dutifully yours,
Buffi

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Dear Yogi and Snazzy, (my dogs)

They are squirrels. They live up there in the trees. No matter how high you jump or how much you bark, you won't catch one. Get over it and move on.

Irritated, but still loving you,
Buffi

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Dear SugarBabies,

Enough with the whining. Soon my head will explode. While that may sound like it would be entertaining, it will not be fun for any of us. So stop the damn whining. All of you. Or you can live out there with the dogs and chase squirrels all day.

Lovingly,
Mommy

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Dear Sun,

Okay, we get it, you're hot. We are in TEXAS!! now. We understand. However, 108 degrees is just taking things too far. Cool off already, will ya?

Sweatingly yours,
Buffi

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Dear Blog Stalker,

Seriously, how long has it been? And still, I see you on my stat counter several times a week. I think they make a pill for that. It's funny that you haven't just bookmarked my site and have to use the same search terms every. single. time. Really, get a life. You have moved from aggravating to simply pathetic.

Go away,
Buffi

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Dear Target Employees,

For the last time, NO! I do not want to apply for a Target card and save 10% on my purchases. I have told you all that about eleventy skrillion times now. STOP ASKING ME!! Soon you will be seeing me wearing a sign communicating my feelings about your damn Target card. And there might be some not-very-nice words on it. Enough already.

(And while we are at it, please share this information with your buddies at Kohls, JC Penney's and Macy's.)

Sick of it (but not enough to shop at Wal-Mart),
Buffi