Friday, July 21, 2006

Weeks like these are made for Xanax

How to Celebrate your 36th Birthday:

*Make sure that your husband leaves for a year two days before.

*Have your mom come the day that husband leaves.

*Have your best friend come the next day.

*Get up early on your birthday by way of your cute little three-year-old blonde haired, blue-eyed alarm clock. Take daughter to soccer camp,

*Go to doctor (which seems to have become a tradition) who contradicts what the "experts" at the last base said. Finally convince Doogie that you DO INDEED need an endocrinology referral. Putz.

*Go to register Children #s 1 and 2 for school. But only get #1 registered because kindergarten registration begins next week. Of course.

*Enjoy cookie-cake that children prepared and decorated in your honor. Eat several pieces. mmmmmmm Chocolate chip!

*Go eat Mexican food and drink yummy margaritas with best friend in town!

*Stay up too late for no apparent reason.

*Wake up early again (see above).

*Take daughter to camp in husband's car because it is easiest to get out of driveway.

*Drop daughter off at camp. Drive home fantasizing about either nap or unpacking boxes. It's a toss up.

*At some point in reverie, realize that the pick up in front of you that you thought was going to turn left? Has yet to turn.

*Smash right into back of said pickup totally destroying hubby's front end. Radiator fluid everywhere. Unable to open either of the front doors, having to climb out the back.

*Listen as asshole cop lectures you about how he "could give you a ticket for an expired license" but won't since is it just one day over.

*Spend much of morning crying hysterically and dealing with insurance company.

*Take lots of Motrin & Xanax. Praise God for TriCare.

No comments: