Some days you're the doorknob, some days you're the Giant F'ing Gorilla

Last night, I was the gorilla. And this doorknob pissed. me. off.



Yesterday was crazy. An absolute clusterfuck of activities. Totally exacerbated by the fact that SD was night flying and was therefore unavailable for transporting SugarBabies about town. He's so selfish. Working and all. So, the schedule was this:

3:30 Parent/Teacher conference
4:00-6:00: SP's soccer practice
6:00-7:00: Bug's soccer practice
6:30-??? Bear's Boy Scout meeting

Allegedly.

So, I bust my ass getting back from the conference to get SP to soccer practice on time. And we made it! But? Nobody was there. Because practice actually started at 4:30. No worries. We hung out for a few minutes and some people showed up. I remembered that I hadn't grabbed Bear's Cub Scout uniform, so I ran back home to fetch it and then came back. (Remember this...this is key) We hang out at practice and by 6:00, I needed to go pee. I mean REALLY needed to. And there is no bathroom at the practice field. So, as soon as SP is dismissed from practice, we hightail it to McDonalds, so that I can potty and so that we can get some food.

If you paid any attention to that schedule up there, it required that I be in two places at once. I'm good....but not cloned yet. Bug's practice got ditched. He's four. He'll get over it.

SO. We eat our crappy fast food on our way to the scout meeting - Bear still hasn't changed clothes. We get to the church right at 6:30! Wooo hoooo!! But wait! There's no one here. Not a soul. The doors are locked. the lights are out. CRAP.

Actually, not all that disappointed. I was ready to go home and chill. So, we head to the casa and everyone unloads their crap I go to unlock the deadbolt and discover that someone has locked the doorknob. I don't have a key to the doorknob. SD is flying. Crap.

So, I try hitting the door with my shoulder like the cops on TV do. Guess what. That shit hurts. Also, it doesn't work. So, I try to jimmy the lock with a credit card. That doesn't work either. Last resort? I start whacking the holy hell out of the doorknob with a hammer until it opens. It was actually pretty cathartic. Though, poor SD got home and thought that someone had tried to break into the house.

I'm such a badass.

Halloween Giggle

I'm feeling like the gorilla....you know who you are

Also...I need some help. After blogging for over two years now, my archives in the sidebar are taking up a ridiculous amount of room. Can anyone tell me how to make them into a drop down menu that doesn't take up so much dang space over there. It's getting on my nerves. I'm afraid I may go "gorilla" on someone soon because of it.

One thing that may make a difference: My template is old. Very old. Almost as old as the blog. But I still love it. SO the nifty little fixes that you can do on the NEW blogger templates don't work in "classic" templates. (I'm like an oldies station. And nearly as stale! If I start streaming The Eagles' "Witchy Woman" just do us all a favor put a cap in my ass.)

Be nice. Or I'll breathe on you.

So, first, I'm sorry about going for over a week and then posting a quiz. Lame? Certainly. But I thought it was kinda cool & thought I'd share. Besides, you're just jealous.

I have been sick for...ever it seems like. I went for like ten days with a sore throat, telling myself it was viral because I had these ulcers all down my throat and knew that the doctor would just tell me to take motrin and drink plenty of water. Which I was doing. Although, by last Tuesday, every time I took a drink, I had to shout, "SonofaBITCH!" There may have been other profanities uttered through the day. I have no comment on these rumors. It was at this point that SD insisted that I go visit the flight surgeon. I complied with his request (phrased thusly, "Just go to the damn doctor already!!!) because by that point I had a lymph node on the left side of my throat that was the size of a ping pong ball and corresponding swelling inside my throat. All the same, I really hadn't run much of a fever, so I figured that a trip to the doctor was silly - prudent as it might seem.

The nurse whom I LOVE went ahead and swabbed my throat for a culture, telling me that it looked viral to her, too. Then Doogie the Flight Surgeon came in and made me love him just a little by saying, "Wow! You have lost a LOT of weight! You look great!" (He just got back from a deployment to Iraq.) I resisted the urge to kiss him on the face. Because that would have been inappropriate. Right? (And I DO look pretty damn good. In the past year, I have lost about 25 pounds. I can finally fit back into my pants that have single digit sizes!) (I'm so glad I didn't give those away!) *ahem*


So, Doogie looks at my throat and says, "Wow. That's really swollen and red!" Duh. He said that he didn't think it was strep, but he was going to give me some penicillin just in case and if the test came back negative on Thursday or Friday, I could stop taking it. Which, HELLO? Do you ever pick up a newspaper or watch television? Super-Bugs. Heard of them? No, I told him, I would take the antibiotic home with me and if they called me with a positive result, the I would start taking it. But, of course THAT wouldn't happen since I didn't have strep. He redeemed himself somewhat by prescribing me something called "magic Mouthwash" which has lidocaine in it and made little things like drinking and eating much less painful. Yay Doogie!


So....Thursday afternoon Nurse-whom-I-love calls and asks if I had been taking the penicillin. I tell her no and she says, "Well, you need to start. Your strep test came back positive."

The hell?!

So, now I am taking penicillin four times a day. Allegedly. Because I cannot for the life of me remember to take something four times a day. For crying out loud. Who can remember to do that? If I had thought for a second that I really had strep, I would have gotten the penicillin shot in my butt. Because that works so much faster. But no. I am just now, as of today, feeling better. Today, finally, my throat is not so sore. Though, when I tried to eat the french fries I got with my lunch, it felt like razor blades soaked in lemon juice. Not so bad as water felt a week ago, but enough to elicit a "crapcrapcrapcrapcrap" if not a "sonofabitch."

Maybe tomorrow, we can downgrade to a "Dang" and eventually an "Oof."

Until then your best chance of hearing from me is my extraordinarily dorked-out Twitter posts. I'm the dorkiest dork there ever was. But at least I'm no longer contagious!

Like I said.....

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. You can smell a grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is revered by the underlings, though some may blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just jealous. Go out there and change the world.
Take this quiz|

Join|Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Sweet Nothings from Sugar Bear

Bear, who, along with is brother has been told several times to settle down and go to sleep:

"Mommy, it's just hard to go to sleep when you are six. Akshully, it's just hard to be six with Bug around."

BOB Books...finally

Oh, I have been horribly, horribly remiss. Several weeks ago, I was scheduled to review the BOB Books. First, I had the wrong date written down. Then my grandfather died. After that, I was simply overwhelmed with....life I suppose. Ironically at the same time, I seemed to be suffering from the blahs. Is it possible to die of ennui? Finally, Marjorie shot me an email earlier this week asking, ever so nicely, (because Marjorie is one of the most diplomatic, lovely people I have ever met on the internets) if I had any plans to ever review the books because this was the last week of the campaign. So I am suitably shamed. And if I had checked my email earlier this week, I would have been shamed much, much sooner. Thus, here is my review.

I am no stranger to BOB books. As a former kindergarten teacher and staunch proponent of phonics, I like to stay familiar with the various phonics programs. SugarPlum seemed to have taught herself to read, so I never ventured to purchase anything like that. But last year, as Bear started learning to read, I got a set of BOB books to help him along (you know, since Mrs Kindergarten seemed to think that he was brain damaged or something). Then when I had the opportunity to have another set for him, I jumped at it!

Simply stated, BOB Books are lovely. They aren't flashy, colorful or exciting. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But these books have spare, simple stories with fun, minimalist drawings. Enough to help a young reader along in his/her reading but not so much as to distract. They have easy to relate to characters with easy names - Mat, Sam, Dot, and Cat. The books help early readers to stay focused on sounding out words and figuring out the "trick" of reading. Using a step-by-step process, they build skill and before you know it, your kid has read a whole book! How cool is that when you are FIVE?! They are great for building confidence in young readers - giving them a taste of reading success and assurance that soon, they will be able to read those exciting, interesting books that they bring home from the library. Bear beams when he reads one of these to me or SD. And he is always quick to grab one to read to Gray or Gram when they visit Candyland. In fact, he likes them SO MUCH that he asked to take them for Show & Tell. I'm going to talk to Mrs Firstgrade about that before we send them. Don't need to piss off another teacher!

As such, BOB books are not something that will hold a child's attention when he is being read to. Case in point, Bug was SOOO excited when I pulled the books out. That lasted about two minutes. He declared them "bowing." (That's "boring" to those of us without a speech impediment. Though not nearly as adorable.) These are not the books that he will pick for you to read at bedtime. They aren't, in my opinion, something to pick to get your three year old interested in reading. But that's okay. Save them for a couple of years when he can start to read to himself. At least that is what I am telling myself about Bug. If he makes parole by then.

Balance? Perhaps I should just work on focus

Balance. Ah, yes. Seems to be coming a little at a time. See? I'm posting!! Okay, well, right now I'm just typing. We'll see if this makes it to an actual post. However, it stands a much better chance than the many many posts as of late which have existed solely in my head. (Lots of space there, you know.)

I was able to play on the computer a bit, take the wrecked van to the shop for an estimate (don't ask...it's painful), go to physical therapy, do a load of laundry - including folding and putting away! - pick up the living room, cook supper, take Bug to soccer practice and even make a valiant attempt at putting the badges on Bear's Tiger Cub uniform. WHEW!

Sadly, I was decidedly unsuccessful at that last task as said badges were not, as I (erroneously) assumed, iron-on. And, as my sewing talents are sadly lacking, Bear went to his Scout meeting with a (gasp!) naked uniform. Oh, the humanity. BUT WAIT! SugarDaddy to the rescue! He is taking the uniform and patches to a tailor near base who will them sew the patches on securely so that Bear can attend future den meetings with his head held high.

geez...can you say tangent?!

I was however remarkably successful in the dinner department, preparing a very quick chicken stir fry that inspired two of the three SugarBabies to ask for seconds and then? THIRDS. So yummy it was. (Pay no attention to Bug. He is protesting most food right now and it is vexing me because my children have always been good eaters. Other parents ask to have my kids over for dinner just to watch them eat. Asparagus? More please! Salmon? Yes! Mushrooms? Peppers? Brussels Sprouts? Mmmmmmmm! (Okay maybe I'm pushing it with the Brussels sprouts, but, they are remarkably good eaters.) I know that this is why Bug is not eating. Because that child must make a liar out of me every chance he gets.)

School still seems to be going okay. Bug has only made one more trip to the office in the past month. For hitting. Brute. He's really not even the slightest bit contrite about it. He feels very justified in his actions most of the time. *sigh* He is going to be a Baptist preacher some day, I just know it. They all start out as little turds and then mellow. Well, mellow may not be the word but....oh, you know what I mean.

Bear has started coming out of his shell some as well. Heh. His teacher still loves him. But he is exploring his boundaries a little more lately, resulting in a conduct cut or two. Nothing office-worthy, though. Today, Mrs. Firstgrade told me that some of his classmates have complained that Bear has been hugging and kissing them. I have witnessed this and talked to him about it. But today we had to have a more direct, in-depth conversation to establish that this isn't acceptable at school. He was crestfallen. Bless his heart, he just gets so overcome with happiness and love for his friends, he wants to kiss them. I told him so save up all those kisses for me.

If you're really nice, I'll save some for you, too. Of course you'll have to come to Candyland to get them, but it will totally be worth it. Bear kisses are some of the sweetest in the world! Not that I'm partial.

Paging Dr. Phil....

For obligatory apology, see here and/or here.

What to do, what to do....I am having a really hard time trying to find a balance between family time and "me time." Because "me time " is the only time that I have to post or check email or read everyone else's blogs. In the not too distant past I tried to merge "me time" and family time with less than stellar results. I found myself saying "Wait a minute. I'll get you some milk/supper/attention after I finish this post. Which then turns into "..when I finish reading this person's post."

I had to ask myself, when did reading about other people's lives and children become more important than living my own life and spending time with my children. While SD was gone, blogging was my refuge. I got so much wonderful support from my blog friends and I felt a little less alone. But, I was using my time with the kids to do so. I am needing to find balance and it's not easy.

I am really tired of whining here. I used to have a sense of humor. My kids do really freaking funny things every day. And I should just get on and share the little tidbits. I guess I'm afraid that if I turn on the computer, I will be here for six hours and that's no good. A little self control would be helpful here. Does Amazon sell that? No, I didn't think so.


So, the funeral and the trip down there wasn't as bad as I was afraid it was going to be. In fact it was, I am somewhat ashamed to say...fun. It seems like such a cliche` to say that we all only get together for weddings and funerals, but it's true. And this time I got to meet cousins I had never really seen before. Or at least not in at least 15 years. And given that they were small children then, it was cool to get to know them. One cousin who is getting married in the Spring declared that I must come to the wedding because I am one of the "cool cousins." And for my down in the dumps, frumpy feeling 37 year old self to be declared cool by a 25 year old was very satisfying indeed. Of course it's not too much of a challenge to seem cool when the other cousins are self-righteous teetotalers who really have no clue how to have fun. (did I say that out loud?) We are considering havin a secret family reunion. You are only invited if you can kick back and have a beer with us. Or at least not judge us if we do enjoy and adult beverage or two.

My poor grandmother was so confused. She, at times, had no idea who any of us were. She thought that the "cool cousin" was me because she had long blonde hair like I used to. However this cousin also has these huge b00bs, so that should have been a dead give away. My grandmother did come up to me and tell me how pretty I was several times, though. Really. She would come up and stroke my cheek and say, "You're so pretty!" She had no clue who I was or what I was doing there. And it was hard not to laugh when I was showing her pictures of the kids and she kept saying things like, "Now what's that one's name? How old is he?" I hope people are nice to me when I am old. I totally won't deserve it.

The drive itself was fairly uneventful. It was strange to be in the car with just my parents and my brother. It was almost like I was twelve again. But without the choking on cigarette smoke or the "he's touching me" game. Oh, and I had to drive part of the way. The trip down was almost pleasant until we got stuck in Houston traffic and I had to pee so bad I seriously would have gone in my pants but I would have never been able to live THAT down. Daddy finally pulled into a McDonald's so that I could potty. Two minutes later, we were at my cousins'. Natch.

The drive home would have been okay except that I had a horrendous migraine and my mother would not shut the fuck up. She had something to say about every billboard, every restaurant and every other driver on the road. She's lucky that the migraine had rendered me almost paralyzed or I might have reached up there and ripped her vocal cords out. It was a satisfying fantasy, anyway.

I arrived back home to a clean house and happy children. And damn SD for being able to maintain things while I was gone. I never can commiserate with other wives about the whole house-falling-apart-after-I-was-gone-for-only-three-days thing. He does a damn good job at that and I am so grateful.

The marriage? It seems...better....I think. You know, nobody tells you how hard it is being married. Or staying married anyway. But, damn it's a lot of work. It should really be in the pamphlet. I think it is a miracle that my grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary just before he died. Because he was an old curmudgeon. I would have divorced his ass long ago. Love is indeed a many splendored thing.

Just another rambling, disjointed, and slightly whiny post

Seems like every post lately has started the same way....sorry for the lack of posting.

And I really am. Sorry, that is. Also sorry for the lack of visiting everyone else's blogs. I have been severely limiting my computer time lately. I have been trying to give more time to my family and my house and my "real" life in an effort to improve my marriage.

Has it worked? Hell if I know. Husbands are hard to read, you know? At least mine is. I go all along la-tee-dahing for months and years and at time thinking life is all happy and fine and whammo! Not so much. No, I'm not saying anything is wrong per-say. Just that I don't know how things are. *sigh*

The start of school always throws me. Especially this year, since Bug is going to preschool every day. I thought I'd have all this time and get a lot done. HA! Somehow, I have at least two to three appointments a week of some sort or other. I'm really not sure what happens to my time. the only thing I know is I'm not on the computer that's for sure!

Bug started preschool after Labor Day. He is so funny. He was so excited and so freaking adorable. Then he had to go and be....Bug. Yes, my four-year-old got sent to the office on the second day of preschool. Did you even know that preschool HAD an "office" (In the ooooh! you're in troouuuubbblllleee!" sense of the word)? Seems our little rebel didn't want to help his classmates clean up the toys and started throwing blocks. One of which hit a little girl in the face, requiring an ice pack. Thus, the trip to the office.

Later that same day, he was kicking the crap out of some little girl on the play ground.This prompted a teacher to tell him that "We don't do that to our friends!"

To which Bug replied, "She's not my friend!"

Yeah. It's gonna be that kind of year. Heaven help me. It's a good thing he's cute.

Bear had a bumpy start to first grade. He was having trouble staying focused and getting all of his work done. Blessedly, Mrs Firstgrade chatted with me about it on afternoon, telling me that he is such a smart boy, but he needed to really focus and finish his work. She said that it was something that she would work on with him at school as I said I would at home. She was so gracious and sweet about it. I nearly kissed her. It was such a nice change from Mrs Kindergarten. And let me tell you, Bear has already turned around and is finishing his work every day. He's so proud! He had his first spelling test Friday and made 100%! Same for his reading test. He was about to bust his buttons he was so proud. WHEW!

Friday night, SD, Gray Gray and I took the kids to the fair. We all had a good time, though Bug was a little pissy because he didn't get to ride the bumper cars. None of us adults could ride with him. You know, I've had enough "bumper cars" over the last few months to last me for a while! Also, at the fair, my dad got a call that my grandfather had died. He'd been sick for a while, so it wasn't totally unexpected. Still, sad. But mostly weird, because I am 37 years old and until Friday, all of my grandparents were alive. I'm afraid that this is going to be happening more often and to the grandparents I am closer to, which will NOT be good for my mental health. I'm trying not to think about it.

So, I am heading to Houston tomorrow for the funeral. I'm leaving the kids here with SD. Pray for him. Also, I am riding in a car with my parents and brother for several hours each way. Pray for ME. I don't want to go to jail. You have no idea how real that possibility might be. Also? Houston. Heat. Humidity. Emotions. Angst. Family. This can't turn out well.

Hopefully this catches me up. I'll try not to go two weeks between posts, but I don't know how that will work out. Hopefully, I will find a way to balance blogging and the rest of my life. I still need to review the BOB books that MotherTalk sent me (they are fantastic) and the novel, A History Lesson for Girls (wonderful, wonderful!) for another firm that asked me to. I enjoy reading these books and sharing them with you. It's just that lately life keeps coming at me and won't stop. What's up with that?


Must go pack my black dress and other funereal stuff. This should be fun.

If you're blue and you don't know where to go to.....

So, we are back from our weekend of partying (she said, tongue firmly placed in cheek). This was supposed to be a relaxing weekend, spent visiting friends and family. Instead, like always, it felt hectic, over-scheduled and somewhat disappointing.


Now, to those of you I visited this weekend, don't get me wrong. I had an absolute blast seeing everyone and don't regret a minute I spent with you.


For everyone else on the planet (high expectations here), I went home for the 20 year reunion of all my high school friends. Confused? Well, you're not the only one. With one or two exceptions, my best friends from high school all graduated a year before me. So, when it came time for their reunion this year, I was delighted to have been invited to the reunion by a friend who thought it would be nice to have the gang back together. I had every intention of attending all of the reunion events. But over the summer, my grandmother was diagnosed with lymphoma and started chemo. So, I tweaked my plans some and decided that we would still go to Candyland West this weekend, but I would just go to the dinner and the get together with all of the choir gang on Sunday. Those plans were further altered when several of us realized that the dinner was going to cost $120 per couple. For barbecue. As much as I wanted to attend that dinner, I really didn't want to spend that much. For barbecue. So several of us decided to go out to a nice dinner at one of the better restaurants in Candyland West.

I was really looking forward to this trip. I was so excited to see some of these people I haven't seen in years. And some I hadn't seen in weeks. But Wednesday I started feeling nauseous and it didn't go away all weekend. I don't think I ate more than three bites of anything for several days. On the upside, I lost a few more pounds, so at least there was a silver lining. Of course the cloud inside that silver lining included the migraine that wouldn't die. I'm not sure which the cause and which was the effect, but I had either a headache, a tummyache or both all stinking weekend. Ugh.

THEN! We awoke Saturday morning to the dulcet tones of barking coming from the boys' room. More specifically, from Bear's bed. Crap. It's croup. While SD steamed up the bathroom, I found some benedryl and motrin in the medicine cabinet at Gram's house. Had I brought the nebulizer? No. Of course not. It's summer! He doesn't get croup in summer! Also? I never even thought about it. The steam seemed to help (no ER trip!), so I decided to pull myself together quickly and get up to my old high school for the tour.

I don't recommend this. A high school can change a LOT in twenty years and not all of it will make you happy. By the time I got there, the tour was headed out to the gym. Which has been expanded a great deal and is now two gyms plus a lot more stuff that I didn't see. We started to go into the "old gym" - the one we all remembered - but there was a volleyball game going on and we couldn't go in. But the poor little Student Council (class of 2009!) rep was happy to show us the new gym! Um, yeah. But that is not a part of our past. It's not where we had our pep rallies and saw our beloved basketball team get trounced time and time again.

Back inside. We go through the door back into the school, look to the right and see that the dance studio no longer exists! It appears to have been turned into a janitor's closet. Sacrilege! Then? We learn that the gymnastics gym? Is now the new library. What is wrong with these people. The gymnastics team was the only team we had to brag about!!! And little student council rep/tour guide? Seems PROUD of the fact that the gym was ripped out to make their new state-of-the-art library! FOR SHAME! Why look at all those computers! Back in my day, we had to make an effort to do a research paper. We didn't have computers to look up stuff. We had do dig through microfiche and plow through the stacks to find the articles and books we needed to get that one perfect quote! These kids today have it so easy....

::deep cleansing breath::


That's better. { /rant}


We made our way up to the choir room. Sure that that would satisfy what we came for. But it was locked! Oh! The disappointment. We were all so pathetic standing on tiptoe, peeking int he little windows on the doors. Noticing the what changes we could see. There was much sadness. Luckily, we all made our way down to the auditorium, which still looked and smelled the same. That was happy. We climbed up on stage and forced out significant others to take photos of us as we tried in vain to remember the words and steps to some of our show choir numbers. I think little student council boy was very impressed! You know, if a bunch of old people singing off key and fumbling around on a high school stage is his idea of impressive.

Other tour highlights:

~ Student Council boy telling us how the bell tower is haunted since a person was murdered up there in the mid-80's (you know, waaaaaaaaaay back in the 80's). We told him that we thought we probably would have remembered that.


~ They have elevators now. We reminisced about how we used to sell "elevator tickets" to clueless sophomores. "Now where are the elevators?" "Right next to the swimming pool." Oh, yeah. We were clever.


After the tour, the rest of the gang (read: the people who actually graduated in '87) went tot he picnic. SD and I planned on going over to visit my grandparents, but a wave of nausea gripped me and turned me green and I decided that I didn't need to expose Maw Maw to that or to Bear's cough, given that she has zero immune system after two rounds of chemo. I promised that we would go over Sunday, after the choir gathering.


Dinner Saturday night was good. And, if SD's veal chop alone hadn't cost $42.95(!), it might have been less expensive than the reunion dinner. But the conversation was great, and they had amazing creme brulee which made one of our group declare, "This is what the gods bathe in!" We had a lot of fun, so I suppose it was worth it. Sadly, later that night, my stomach rebelled again and I didn't get to enjoy the fun at the hotel with everyone. This also precluded any visits to see my grandparents Sunday. Much, much sadness.


Our choir party was even more fun than I had hoped! I was happy to see everyone who showed up. I am proud to say that among us, we have the most beautiful, well behaved, smartest group of children in the world. It must be something in the water in Candyland West. It makes for good genes to pass down!


Meanwhile, back in Soccer Land.....SugarPlum played as a guest player for one of the uber-competitive club teams in our town. They have been pursuing her for a while, but she hasn't wanted to make the commitment that the team requires. She had a lot of fun and the team won second place in their tournament. SP is thinking that maybe she would like to play for them next season. I'm not AS opposed as I once was. They only practice twice a week and they are a great group of girls. The parents are pretty cool too. I suppose that the only thing holding us back will be whether we can get a second mortgage on our house to pay the astronomical fees that are required to be on the team. Plus the tournament fees, travel expenses, etc. *sigh* She's ten. I don't know if I'm ready for this. Seem like it's gonna happen whether I'm ready or not.

So..how was YOUR Labor Day??

This post is for Peaches...

...who is tired of seeing the book review that has been up for a week now.


I have about fourteen blog posts in my head about various things that I can't seem to form into actual coherent posts. So, you are getting a list of sorts of the randomness that is my life. Otherwise, I have no idea when I will sit down and do this again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

School started Monday. With as much bitching as I have done about the children driving me crazy and how in the hell could they have pushed school back two weeks, I was surprised to find myself feeling a little sad Sunday night. I really do enjoy my kids. Except of course when they are beating the crap out of each other. Or whining. Or waking me up at five o'clock in the morning for no reason.

SugarPlum and Bear both looked so grown up Monday morning! While I was a little sentimental seeing them, I was stunned when SD had to leave the room so overcome was he by the appearance of our oldest two. My sweet, marshmallow husband was brought to tears!

As expected, SP loves the fifth grade and the fifth grade seems to love her, so far. She has some good friends in her class, though not the child with the batshit crazy momma (whom I have decided not to expand on here because the woman really is mentally ill and it seems cruel and in bad taste to pick on her. If things get out of hand, however I reserve the right to rant about her!) She is really looking forward to being able to do PE again after missing the last six weeks of it last year after the broken collar bone.





I was a little apprehensive about Bear going into first grade. Mrs. Kindergarten had both of us worried about how Bear would do in first grade. Fortunately, Mrs. Firstgrade seems to love our Bear and said that, so far, he has been very well behaved and that he has done really well on his work. He got a 100/A+ on the first paper he did!! I like her so much. Honestly, it was all I could do not to hop in the car, drive over to Candyland Early Childhood Center, stick out my tongue, and say "Nyah Nyah Nyah!" to Mrs. Kindergarten. But, as I AM trying to set a good example, I chose to just walk around with a look of smug satisfaction on my face. And, of course praise Bear lavishly. Isn't he adorable?!

Bug, on the other hand is pissed. His school doesn't start until next week. And he doesn't understand WHY?!! Personally, things would have been much easier this week if he had been in school. I have about eleventeen appointments and other things to do. But we're managing.

Bug had a cavity in one of his molars a few weeks ago. He has something called hypoplastic enamel on a few of his molars (SugarPlum has it on her permanent molars - joy). So, Tuesday he went in to have a silver crown put on that molar to save him from further decay on that tooth. We decided to make it a cool thing for him to get a "silver tooth." Gray Gray told him that he would be like a pirate, which was just about the most awesome thing he had heard in a long time! He did pretty well. He was mostly mad that morning because he had to be NPO after midnight. That really wasn't a big deal in his mind until he woke up and he was hungry! Then he decided that perhaps we should do another day. Too bad for him. He looks cool now though. And he has told everyone he sees that he has a silver tooth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well! Look at that! I guess I did have enough for a blog post. So I guess that now you will have to wait to hear all of the other exciting stuff that has been going on. Like how I had another freaking car accident. Yes, really. WTF is wrong with me?

And how we had a bunch of people over here for a party after SD rode in a bike race that morning and I was suffering from PTSD after that accident the day before.

And how, even though she doesn't want to play on a competitive soccer team, SugarPlum is traveling without us to a tournament as a guest player on the club team that is pursuing her. This should be interesting...

Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Several weeks ago, I was driving my babysitter home and we were discussing the books that SugarPlum likes to read. She and SugarPlum have similar tastes - Harry Potter, Eragon, Narnia and various other fantasy books. She mentioned that she had gotten hooked on James Patterson's Maximum Ride books. She said that she thought that SugarPlum might enjoy them and that she would loan them to her.

Shortly thereafter, Mother Talk sent out a request for people to review the third installment in the series, Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports. My initial inclination was to have SugarPlum read it and write the review here and on her blog for her friends. Then I realized that perhaps it would be a good idea to read it before I gave it to SP so that I could make sure it was okay. I'm picky that way.

(Of course that was a moot point because SP and her bestfriendinthewholewideworld, the Princess went to the big Harry Potter party the night of the debut of book seven. After that she was sucked back into all things Harry. She's still not quite over it, even though she's read it seven times now.)

After we got back from the beach, I saw the book and, honestly, I wasn't that excited about reading it. Not my genre, and not my age. But I promised, so, eventually anyway, I got busy reading. And? I was hooked.

It was a little awkward at first, starting on the third book. But Patterson does a great job catching you up if you missed the first two. The books main protagonist, Max, is a fourteen year old human-bird hybrid (yes, really) - the result of recombinant DNA experiments by some mad scientists who are now planning on taking out half the world's population. The scientists, not the bird kids. Max leads her "flock" of other bird kids, ranging in age from six to fourteen, after they have escaped from the headquarters of the mad scientists' ("whitecoats") union.

Patterson captures the snark, attitude and insecurities of a fourteen-year-old girl perfectly. Honestly this is what made the book most enjoyable for me. The story switches voices between characters several times throughout the book, which is a little hard to follow at first. However, I really think that for teens, who are used to that sort of storytelling on the TV shows they watch, it probably flows and makes perfect sense. The characters are fairly well developed, but, again, I'm certain that some things would likely have made more sense had I read the first two books. One fun thing is that Max's best friend, Fang has a blog http://maximumride.blogspot.com/ that does exist and that you can read comments from readers and "supporters" of the flock. Welcome to the 21st Century!

The plot was exciting enough to hold my interest and make the book enjoyable. There were a few "yeah rights" in there as I read along (you know, beyond the whole DNA hybrid/mad scientists business), like how the kids were broke at some times, yet had the money to get into a Dallas Cowboys football game and later purchase four transatlantic plane tickets. That aside, it was fun to read.

I believe that I will let SugarPlum read this series. Many of the situations are a little mature, but then so is she. I found no terribly objectionable language (at least nothing worse than I have found in the HP books) and no drinking/drugs or sexual situations. I know that SP will enjoy these books if she can tear herself away from those "other ones."

For more information, you can visit the book's website http://www.maximumride.com/.

It includes a cool CGI TV commercial, plus nearly 2 million message board
posts from kids who love Max and the flock. Also, the publisher had two separate
“clicking” contests here. The first was to garner 1 million clicks to keep the series going (into a fourth book), and they garnered the first million clicks in just one week. The second was to garner 5 million clicks to tell Hollywood there should be a Max movie. That 5 million was garnered within the next two weeks.

(Info from MotherTalk)

There has been talk of this series "replacing Harry Potter." Honestly I can't see anything replacing Harry. But is this a series that might get young adults excited about reading much the same way that Harry did? Yes, I think it might be. And so does the author of this article. Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports has the cynicism that appeals to teens as well as the kids vs. the evil adults theme that is fuels the healthy rebellion that all teens must express. These kids are out to save the world from the thoughtless, power-hungry, environment-polluting adults. How much better can you get?!

Yeah. I suck.

Okay, I'll be honest. I don't think that beach post is ever gonna happen. Now that we have been back for over two weeks, it just seems kinda lame. Yet, I have been hesitant to post anything until I tell you both (I'm being realistic now, nobody comes by here anymore as far as I can tell...) about the beach. Because it was great. And relaxing. And I wish that it could have gone on forever.


But we are back home and SD is back to work and the kids are.....dammit, the kids are all at home because some joker in the Texas legislature decided that it would be a great idea to move the start of school back two weeks. Said joker obviously has no kids. Because today it's 103 degrees and they won't even go play outside -- unless it is to play in the hot tub. Where is the logic there? No, they would rather stay inside and beat the shit out of each other and ask me every 38 seconds if they can have another snack. I don't know how we will ever afford them once they are teenagers. Heh. As if they will live into their teens.


So, about the dearth of posts. It isn't likely to get better any time soon. If the beach taught me anything, it was to appreciate the company of my husband and children. I have actually been enjoying SD. We have been having these great conversations (and other interactions *ahem*) sorta like when we were first dating and married. That's been good. And of course, my kids are always freakin' hilarious. Though now, I am able to better appreciate the humor of these crazy kiddos now that I am not the only person responsible for them day in and day out. As a result, I find myself NOT on the computer more than ever while I indulge my family with my loving attentions. I'm sure that will get old soon.

That said, I am sure that my wacky progeny will be committing many blogworthy acts, so things won't be totally dead around here. And, as I said, school starts in two weeks, so once I am able to hear myself think again, perhaps I will start posting a little more regularly. Perhaps....

Happy Tuesday!

Still in Beach Mode

I haven't been able to work up the energy or at least the will to post lately. I'm still pretty chilled out from the beach, I suppose. That, and I have really enjoyed just being with my family & spending time with my husband, I suppose.

The irony of that is, at this moment, I am actually away from my family for a few days. I am in Dallas visiting some friends and basically just doing absolutely nothing and having no responsibilities. SD returns to work next week and I knew that this was my last chance at solitude for a while. So I seized it!

I am working on a post about our trip to Virginia, but it may be a few more days. I HAVE uploaded a bunch of pix to Flickr, if you want to take a look. They are by no means all of the photos taken that week, just the ones with my new camera that SD got me for my birthday. YAY honey!

More to come, I promise!

Resting my arms.....

Our week at the beach was FAB. I have about eleventy thousand pictures to up load when we get home & then I promise to share. Right now we are at the Queen's house in VA. We fly out tonight at 6:30. Should arrive back in Candyland about 11:00 tonight.

I will post after I recover from our relaxing vacation. Promise. Whenever that may be.....

Randomness

Ugh. So, we went all weekend with no phone (well, except cells, but STILL) but, more importantly...when we have no phone, we have no internet. Dang. I hate that. I had just posted Friday when my modem looked at me and said, "Well, that's about it for me. I'm done." When I asked the phone about it all it had to say was "ppppsssshhhhhkkkksshhhthtt." Which I interpreted as, "Hmmmmm? Can't hear you! On strike as a show of solidarity with the DSL."

I suppose I should thank the blog gods or something that it was right after I posted and not before. Then I would have been really cranky. As it was all I could think all weekend was, "I just posted and now I won't be able to see my comments for DAYS." Yes, I really am that shallow. Of course, my family enjoyed it. I actually spent time with the children and stuff. What a concept. After a couple of days though, I started going through withdrawls and it wasn't pretty. You may see me on an episode of Intervention soon. I'm sure it will be...enlightening.

The AT&T guy finally showed up at like 7:15 last night and, as it turns out, the phone line is approximately as old as the house. It had weathered to the point that there was a hole in it. Which, in case you were wondering, does not create the ideal conditions for DSL to work. Not to mention you know, phone calls. Phone guy replaced the line and lo and behold - INTERNET! I could have kissed him. Except that he was like 60. EW.

In other news....I finally got my hair chopped off today. I think I like it. It's just weird going from one extreme to another. It's really short. I had lunch with a friend who said that it looks good. We'll see. SugarPlum really likes it. She says that it makes me look older. I'm telling myself that that's a compliment from a ten year old. Don't disillusion me, please. I think it will be good while we are at the beach next week, anyway.

YES! We are flying to Virginia on Friday and checking into our beach house on Saturday. Friday night the Queen and I are taking SugarPlum and the Princess to a Harry Potter thing at a bookstore . Then? The beach. For seven days! WHEEEE! Anyone live in or near Virginia Beach? We'd love to see you! Of course there will be margaritas and other assorted snacks. Or maybe pina coladas. OOH! Or sangria! Decisions, decisions.

That said, I suppose I should finish up the laundry so that I can pack and stuff. Minor details. Happy Tuesday!

I'd like to thank the Academy...

Okay, I am feeling so loved and honored today. I discovered that not one but TWO...count 'em two! lovely ladies have bestowed awards on me. And on top of that they are two of my favoritest people EVAH. And I'm not just saying that!


First, Mary, of Very Contrary, nominated me as a Rockin Girl Blogger! Which is what I needed to hear as of late. I've been feeling like the frumpy old Mom blogger. So THANKS! Mary always, always makes me laugh. And if she just lived thismuch closer to Candyland, I am fairly certain that we would be hanging out regularly. And that Pookie and SD would be buddies as well. Because I know that they would both at least appreciate what it's like to continually roll their eyes at the latest online antics of their crazy wives. (And I mean crazy in the nicest possible sense of the word, Mary. *smooch*)

I'm supposed to nominate five other Rockin Girl bloggers, and I shall, but before I do...


Angel of Give me Something Sing to About and Slayer in Training (among others) nominated me for a Schmooze Award. Which is explained thusly:

“As it goes, schmoozing is the natural ability “to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship.... I've thought of some great people who have made me welcome and schmoozed their way into my blog and life that I'd like to give this most prestigious Power of Schmooze Award!”

Angel has been a constant encourager in my world for a couple of years now. Even in the depths of pain and despair, she always manages to validate my feelings and make me thankful for all I have. So, you darling are certainly one of my top Rockin Girl Bloggers. One day they will invent a pill for both of us that vaporizes migraines once and for all never to be felt again. One that has NO side effects - ie itching and mind-numbing fatigue - and works the first hour you take it and forever more. Until then, deary, I'll be here for you and I know I can count on you. *sniff, sniff*

Moving along...I am nominating the following five ladies for both of these wonderful awards, because you truly deserve them (and not at all because I am horribly lazy and can't summon the energy to come up with TEN and put in the links. No, not. at. all.).

1. Christine of Mommy Matters, who is of course also known as my Blogmother, being the person who sat on the phone with me while I set up this blog and nursed me thru numerous other crises. I just wish that we had time to talk more!

2. Hula Doula, who I SWEAR I will get to go visit one day before I die so that we can sit and drink wine while our children forge fast friendships that will last a lifetime. That or we can at least take turns putting out the fires and intervening on the inevitable disasters that three little boys will create while their big sisters roll their eyes and sigh disgustedly. I've shared with you one of Hula's most amazing moments. And that was just an inkling of how awesome she is!

3. Peaches over at The Peach Pit who has, on more than one occasion, opened her home to me while I was in transit to weddings and showers, etc. She is a fellow fighter pilot's wife and knows me in ways that few people do. She is such a cool friend.

4. Mother Chaos, whose denizens rival mine in their antics and mis-adventures. I admire her for her parenting style...mostly because it is so much like mine. Also, she can KNIT which is a talent that envy with the greenest color you can imagine, yet know that I do not now, nor well I ever, have the patience or attention span to learn. (did I just win the award for longest run-on sentence ever? well, I came close, I'm sure) Plus, she never, ever fails to make me not just laugh, but guffaw. Which bring the children running in to find out what's so all fired funny and not understanding at all when they see nothing but a picture of a cute little knitted baby hat. Philistines. If I ever go back to California, we are so going to hang out. Though, I'm sure I'll never be cool enough to hand out at the den.

5. Mary at Fireflies & Frogs, who is one of the bravest women I have ever known. She is also among the best moms (and now grandmothers!) and friends in the blogosphere. She really considers her kids in every decision she makes. But I am mostly happy that she is finally able to get on with her life and have some fun. Mary, you are awesome.

So there you go. I know that there are more of you out there who mean the world to me. Friends who have gotten me through some of the roughest patches of my life. Thanks to all my pals! You know who you are and you deserve awards, too. Go ahead...take the button. :)

My two favorite sights on the Fourth of July

This

And then this

Yep. There's a whole lotta happy going on around here!

Still scratching....

Just a quick update. I'm about to go pick my husband up from the airport.YAAAAAYYYY!!!

So, back to the fleas. BOOOOOO!!! I lied in the last post. Not long after I posted, SP came to tell me that Snazzy was all "bald on one side." And sure enough, she had scratched so much that her whole right side was about bare & covered with oozy spots (hope you aren't' eating while you read this). So, off to the vet we went and he said, "Yep. Fleas." and $268 later, I came home with Prednisone, CapStar, Advantix, and the right size of Sentinal for Yogi. The vet also told me not to feel too bad, that everyone in the city had fleas and that until it dries up some around here, it will continue to be a problem. EW.

After I treated the dogs, In was off to Petco and bought the flea powder that you work into the carpet and some of the spray for where I couldn't get to the carpet. I spent most of the day picking up so that I could do the powder stuff and then ran out of time to do it. So, I sprayed as much as I felt safe spraying to kill the fleas, doused the kids with OFF! and put them to bed. (Sending them to bed covered with DEET wasn't ideal, I know, but it beat having them covered with even more flea bites.

Sunday, I was rocking Bug for his nap and had to literally pick fleas off the child at the same time. GROSS. GrayGray said that he was having to pull them off Bear as well. That was it. I was going to kill those little fuckers (the fleas, not the boys) and I was doing it ASAP.

I went back to Petco and bout six flea foggers and then came home and gathered up every piece of clothing, bedding or towels that was out. Gray took the kids to the movies and Gram and I loaded up all the laundry. I set off those foggers all over the house and then we headed to the laundromat.

LORD HAVE MERCY it was HOT!

We did seven loads of laundry. And made fools of ourselves in the process. I couldn't figure out how much it cost to work the machines. Then we had to figure out where to put the soap, etc. It would have been hilarious if I hadn't been so cranky. I told my mom that we probably looked like Paris and Nicole on the Simple Life. Only with great big asses. Oh, and brains.

We finally got back int he house four hours later and we had ice cream for supper. The kids were gobsmacked. Seriously, Mom? Ice cream? Yes. Ice cream. It was too hot for anything else.

Where do we stand now? Well, I haven't noticed any new flea bites. But I still have the exterminator coming tomorrow and I will be treating the carpet at least once a week. And I still have the heebie jeebies whenever anything brushes against my leg.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to get my husband. And try not to think about fleas.