Oh, yes, it is time for another installment. Previous Phrases here and here.
*Please only pee IN the toilet.
*No, you cannot wear the same clothes to school that you wore to the campout.
*NO, that is dog poop, not a toy. Put it down. Now go wash your hands. With bleach.
*No rolling in the mud.
*Why are you muddy? Which part of "No rolling in the mud" did you not understand?
*No, you can't wear your Elmo sandals to church.
*You can have waffles, cereal, eggs or oatmeal for breakfast. Chips and salsa is not a breakfast option.
*(holding tissue up to child's face) Here, blow your nose. Blow. your. nose.
*Please don't pour sand on your head.
*Or your brother's head.
*Don't draw on your sister's homework.
*You MUST put your homework and colored pencils away if you don't want your brothers to draw on it.
*Spit stays in your mouth.
*There are no winners here. Just buckle your dang seatbelts so we can go.
*I said that "seatbelts" is not a contest. Now zip it or I'll pull over and you can WALK to school.