Friday, November 16, 2007


  • I do not want to take advantage of any unique work from home opportunities. Even if they do have the potential of earning me a million, frillion dollars a year.

  • I do not want to meet black singles in my area.

  • Or Christian singles.

  • Or Young Singles.

  • Or Big Beautiful Women.

  • Or look at pictures of other singles in my area.

  • I am married you idiots. And even if I weren't, I wouldn't be meeting that special someone thru a SPAM SITE.

  • I am not interested in taking a short survey and receiving a gift card to Chilis, WalMart, Outback, Kohls or anywhere else.

  • Bob Allen - I don't believe that you are the one to "jump start my success." YOUR success perhaps, but not so much mine. Also, I'd hate to think that I'd have top sink to the level of spamming people just to be successful. I'll leave that up to YOU, Bob Allen.

  • I do not want to become a secret shopper in my area. (Okay, I actually think that would be fab, but I don't exactly trust the people who keep emailing me 1,000 times a day begging me to)

  • I do not want to increase the size of my pen*s. Though that would be quite an impressive feat.

  • I'm not interested in receiving prescription drugs, even at "ridiculously low prices!!" Or perhaps I should say especially not at ridiculously low prices.

  • I'm fairly certain that I never bought a ticket for a lottery in Australia, so I'm thinking that it's another buffi who won.

  • This goes for Canada and South Africa a well.

  • I don't want to buy a foreclosed house. Vultures.

  • Lasik? AS IF I would let somebody who advertises thru spam to do surgery. On my eyes.

  • I'm not going to tell you which cola I prefer. Even if you promise me an iPod.

  • I have no interest in earning a degree online.

  • Therefore, I don't need student financial aid.

  • And I don't want to consolidate all of my bills into one easy payment. (I have a sneaking suspicion that you all are in cahoots with the student loan people.) (Who are likely affiliated fairly closely with the "earn a degree online" folks.)(I'm sensing a trend here)

  • Seriously? Colon Cleansing? GROSS.

  • I don't want to buy a home security system.

  • Not interested in becoming a "secret food critic." (See above: "Secret Shopper")

  • Don't need life insurance.

  • Or Viagra.

  • Or Mega Vitamins

  • Or a degree in Criminal Justice (but if I had one I'd be bringing all of you assholes down)

  • I already have a cell phone, thank you.

  • I have no need to learn to speak a new language in 10 days.

  • Nor do I want any screen savers, emoticons, ringtones, or free e-cards.

  • I am already in touch with all of the people with whom I graduated from high school that I DESIRE to be in touch with. The rest of 'em can suck it.

Is everybody clear on this? Are we all on the same page (so to speak)? Good. Now, for the love of Pete! Leave me alone already, wouldja!!!

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