Thursday, December 27, 2007


I just got home from Christmas at my Mom's house. (The very definition of FRESH HELL this year) and I was going through the mail.



What is wrong with you (catalog) people?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Buttercup in Bloom!!

Yes, my secret mission is complete and I now have a new sweet, precious, beautiful god-baby! She is perfect. Just perfect. She went through quite a bit to get here -- and her Mommy went through even more -- but she is so gorgeous that I think it was worth it. You'll have to ask her very exhausted Mommy to be sure, but I'm almost certain that CRB would agree!

I will share the whole song story soon. But we have much too much to do before leaving for Gray Gray and Gram's house tomorrow. Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The day is looming......

Christmas is only ONE WEEK AWAY!!! Holy Shamoley. I have tons to do, but am headed out of town on a most important mission. Top secret at this point, but I'll let you know as soon as I have clearance.

Until then, please, all of you, remember the REASON we are celebrating! Especially you there, in the parking lot. Chill out already. If you hit me or anyone else with your giant SUV, you will only further delay your shopping trip. What with the paramedics, police, and taking time out for your mug shot and all. So, take a deep breath, count to ten, and say, "Merry Christmas. You parking place stealer."

Must dash!!!

That awesome picture is courtesy of Rick over at Organized Doodles. Go visit and see his many fantabulous illustrations!!

Friday, December 14, 2007

I think Blogthings hates me

Okay, tell me if this sounds familiar. You are perusing blogs even though you are so very, very sleepy and you KNOW that you must go to bed. You tell yourself that you will just check one more because, really, you haven't been over there in ages and after all, she left you the nicest comment the other day so you really should at least pop in and say 'hi.' (also, you must watch those run-on sentences. HONESTLY)

So you pop over to that one last blog and lo and behold! There are the results of a quiz! How weird are you?" That sounds funny! I wonder how weird I am. I'll just take that quiz and see. HA! I'm 43% weird! Heh.

Oh, look! I wonder if I could pass Eighth Grade Geography. YEAH BABY! I totally ROCK eighth grade geography!

Oooooh! Seventh grade science? I RULE. I am so smart!

Hmmmm. What color IS my aura? Pink? I don't think so. I should take that again.

But WAIT! What Muppet am I? The Swedish Chef? Heh. I love him!

What kind of kisser am I? Well, that doesn't even make sense. *yawn*

What shade of blue am I?..... Azure? Oh, that is SO accurate.

I really should go to bed.

Right after I find out my porn star name. Oh, now, I don't care who you are, THAT is funny.

How orange am I? As long as I'm not burnt orange it's fine really. ::rubbing eyes:: DAMN.

::stretching back:: Okay. Just one more, then I'm going to bed.

Could I pass the US Citizenship test? Of course I could. See? With flying colors (red, white and blue, of course)!

What's my emotional IQ? Oh, I am good. So empathetic. (or pathetic....)

What kind of friend am I? *yawn* I am a wonderful friend. OF COURSE.

What Indy Band am I? I have never even heard of them. I'm so old.

All right. I am going to bed. ......

Right after I find out what shade of green I am.

WHAT? Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and must close. Sonofabitch.

Of course, perhaps this is God telling me to go to bed. Since it is 12:30.

I'm such a dork. But, it's not just me, right? RIGHT??!!??

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

All I want for Christmas...

Here's a question for you: Do you try to influence what your kids ask Santa for or do you use that Santa visit to find out what your kids want?

I'm more of the former. I know what my kids want. Or think that they want. I also know what they will actually play with. And what sort of things I want (and DON'T want) in my house. So, as the time for the great Santa con-fab nears, I start to propagandize (aka "brainwash") my kids as to what to ask for. That way they won't be disappointed on Christmas morning. And there won't be a bunch of noisy crap in my house that might make my head explode.

To wit: Bug started before Thanksgiving telling his friends that Santa was going to bring him a Transformers' Costume. The hell? First, no. Also....nuh-uh. He has about forty three different costumes and even if I DID want to get him a Transformer costume, those are only available at Halloween. Yes, I checked. But still. No. So, I have convinced him that he wants a VTech Nitro Junior Notebook. Because I know that he will actually play with that and that it won't encourage hitting siblings or playmates in the spirit of "being a superhero." Or whatever.

Bear wanted the Lego Mars Mission set. And, at first, I was not at all opposed to it. It has the whole space theme that seems to dominate our lives of late. Then I got to thinking....all those little pieces. Well, not really the pieces, because Legos don't really bother me (unless I step on them in the middle of the night - OW!). But, with the kits...or sets...or whatever...they only get put together correctly with the help of Daddy. (Mommy sucks at Legos.) When Daddy isn't around to facilitate the construction, there is much whining, frustration and angst. And I can't handle it. Consequently, I have brought Bear around to the virtues of the VTech Nitro Notebook.

BUT I have also convinced him and his brother that they want a couple of new buckets of Legos - but just the general, non-committal Legos that can become anything rather than a "kit." Due to the even distribution of Legos throughout my house (seriously, you can't lift a cushion or check a pocket in this place without finding at least one Lego), we are down to about fourteen Legos in the bucket. Fourteen Legos that are the catalyst for one brother to beat the shit out of the other brother at least once a day. So, Santa (or Mommy) is bringing Legos, by golly.

SugarPlum? Is getting to play soccer. She played in a tournament this past weekend with the competitive team that she played with in the fall. She has decided that she wants to play with them next season. So, I got the financial info for the team. And.....Holy Mia Hamm!!!! It ain't cheap to play for a club team. But, honestly, it's a good thing. She is happy playing with this team. And she is really improving. And the girls on the team are such good girls. And the parents are just cool as you can imagine. Not a bunch of snotty "soccer moms" like I was afraid of. So, it'll be good for all of us. Also? Her Christmas present. And birthday present. And Valentines Day. And Easter. And....Arbor Day present.

Me? I'd just like a little, tiny bit of sanity. Less chaos and uncertainty. To know maybe, just maybe, what in the hell is going on in my life and what is going to happen over the next few months and years. You know....omniscience. Is that too much to ask? Can the elves handle it? Please Santa? Pretty please?

Oh, and a month at tropical island resort wouldn't suck either.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

A note to my daughter:

Please, for the love of Pete, start your period already. I'm not convinced it will help your attitude at all, but at least then we will have a reasonable explanation for the moody, dramatic, hateful bull***t that keeps spewing from you. It's like non-stop PMS around here lately. GEEZ.

Did you not get the memo? MOMMY is the only one allowed to be moody, dramatic and bitchy. The rest of you are all supposed to gather 'round and sing my praises all day. And get me popsicles. Or maybe margaritas.

So cheer up already!!!

~Your loving Mommy

Saturday, December 01, 2007

I was cheering for the Generals

The Harlem Globetrotters game last night was really enjoyable for the kids. I remember watching them on TV when I was a kid and wishing that I could go see them in person. And it's entirely possible that I did. I'll have to ask my parents. I've slept since then. And given birth. Which led to the brain damage that destroyed my memory.

If you ever get the opportunity to go see the Harlem Globetrotters with a group of six year old boys, SEIZE IT. It is hilarious. I had far more fun watching them than the actual "game." They haven't figured out yet that it's just a show and not a real game, so watching them get anxious about it is quite humorous. At halftime, the Washington Generals were ahead and the boys were almost beside themselves.

"Oh, I hope the Globetrotters win! Do you think they'll win Mommy?"

"Gee, I don't know Bear. It's a real nail biter!"

At some point in the first half, one of the players gets "injured" and has to be helped off the court. When he came back on in the second half, on crutches, the boys were all so amazed at how well he can play with a broken ankle.

"Wow! He is TOUGH!"

Once the Globetrotters start to make their comeback, the boys really began to cheer.

"Go 'Trotters!"

When they would score, this one little boys would shout, "YEAH! That's what I'm talkin' about!"

From a six year old.

I. was. rolling.

Bug was really bored at the beginning but he started getting into it after a short while. He was having as much fun hanging out with his big brother and the other Scouts as he was watching the game. By the end, he could barely sit up, but he wasn't about to let me take him home early.

SD got the kids a ball ($25! Crazy!) and got it autographed for them. Very soon, it will destroy all of the breakables in my house, I am certain, because they keep trying to be Globetrotters.

"Under the leg! Behind the back! Now! Bounce it off your head!"


Hasn't happened yet, but if it doesn't dry out enough for them to play outside, we are headed for disaster. YIPES!

Tonight, SP is having a friend sleep over. I think we may go see Enchanted. I have head good things about that movie. The most surprising thing about it is that it has a PRINCESS in it and SP actually wants to go see it. This is a new one for me. I'll let you know how it is.

Nos,. since it is almost 2:00 in the afternoon, I guess I'll go shower. Just a thought.