Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Bug is unwell...and I am insane

So, I have been trapped here since Saturday afternoon with a sick Bug. He started coughing Friday morning, which I chalked up to allergies. He had a friend over after school and I agreed to watch one of my friend's toddler while she got her hair cut & colored. I told her that Bug had a nasty cough, but that he hadn't run any fever and that I was pretty sure it was just allergies.

Sometimes I think the germ gods hate me.

About half an hour before baby boy's daddy picked him up, Bug said, "I feel cold, Mommy. My head hurts."

Crap. Took his temp. And? 102.6. Yeah. What a great friend. I spent the next half hour saying, "Stay away from Noah! Cough the other direction! Wash your hands! Why don't you go play Legos in your room?!" Nothing like feeling loved and cared for when you are sick!

I took Bug to the walk-in clinic next morning. Surprisingly we didn't have to wait long (considering how long it took on the phone just to get TriCare to authorize an off-base dr. visit!). The doc was very nice and explained as he examined Bug that there were several nasty viruses going around and that was probably what Bug had. He would have gladly prescribe antibiotic if he thought it would help, but obviously since it was viral, there was no use. Then he started to listen to Bug's lungs from the back and stopped short. "...oh! Well! I do hear a crackle in there. Sounds like maybe some pneumonia. So, I'll go ahead and give him some Zithromax."

I am not a mom who demands antibiotic if it isn't necessary. So I made sure that he really thought Bug needed it and he said yes. So, we stopped at the pharmacy on the way home and go the meds. Then we came home and got my Buggy down for a (much needed!) nap.

We were supposed to have some people from SD's squadron over for supper that evening and had to cancel. I was disappointed because I just found out that this particular woman is a doula and HOW COOL IS THAT since that is my dream job?! But I was fairly certain that they didn't want a side of bacterial infection with their grilled salmon, so we will have to do it another time. Bummer.

Bug looked and sounded terrible. SD went to mass Saturday night so that I could take Bear and SP to Sunday School the next morning and leave Bug home. SD had to pack to go TDY anyway (of course. the Air Force always seems to time things to coincide with family illnesses!), so that worked out. HOWEVER....Bug awoke at 3:00 that night and was awake and miserable until after 5:00. When SD got up in the morning, I told him "Don't wake me up." He totally respected my request. He's a good man, that husband of mine.

(Except that then he abandoned me to go to his course for a week. BUT, he ended up sick too. HA! Okay, not really. I feel bad that he is sick down there and I can't do anything for him.)

So, Monday comes and Bug still feels crappy and has a high fever. Monday night he wakes up again and tells me that it hurts his chest to breathe. So Tuesday we go BACK to the walk-in clinic because there are no appointments on base - of course. Luckily, after waiting about eight days to check in, we were seen very quickly and the doctor (different guy, natch) orders a chest x-ray. Good news! Pneumonia seems to be gone! But since the fever hasn't gone yet, he changes Bugs antibiotic to something even I can't pronounce. And gives him some (nasty!) cough medicine.

By Tuesday night, Bug's fever is somewhat manageable. Though, I finally relent and let him just sleep all night in my bed, figuring that it's the best way for me to get a good night's sleep. It actually worked, for once!

He seemed to be feeling much better yesterday (no fever!), though I did keep him home from school under the "24 hours w/o fever rule." We had supper at church last night but didn't stay for choir. Today, I am keeping him home just as a precaution. There is a girl in his class who has cystic fibrosis and has already been in the hospital a couple of times this year. I figure she doesn't need me taking any chances with her health.

HOWEVER. I have GOT to get out of this house. The child IS going to school tomorrow. If I have to play ninja, Spiderman, or animal doctor, OR watch one more episode of Curious George (post coming soon about the questionable sanity of the man with the Yellow Hat) or Dragon Tales for one more day, I will hurt someone. There are groceries to buy, errands to run, laminating to do (at the kids' school), silence to listen to...

Which only means that one of the other two will come home with a fever today. Because that's how things work around here. Damn those germ gods.

Anyone need a babysitter?

Monday, January 28, 2008

Someone get my mother out of my brain!!

I have been dismayed as of late by some of the things that have come out of my mouth. Phrases that, years ago, I SWORE I would never use on my children. Yet now, I am hearing my mothers voice come out of my mouth and it is disheartening to say the least. Though, on more than one occasion I've almost been moved to call and apologize for my childhood. Almost. There is still enough inner-teenager at work that I cannot give her the satisfaction.

Phrases I swore I would never use:
  • Washing the dishes is not the same as cleaning the kitchen. When the counters and table are still filthy, the kitchen is NOT clean. Only the dishes are.

  • I can't believe that I buy you nice clothes just to see them wadded up in your bedroom floor. Nobody appreciates anything around here.

  • Did you brush your hair? Really? Well, maybe you should go back over it again and this time try to get the tangles out.

  • Either YOU clean up your toys or I will clean them up. But when I clean them up, I use a garbage bag.

  • Fine. Wear that to school/soccer/outside if you want to. But I don't want to hear about how cold you were all day.

  • Stop tormenting your brother. He will be bigger than you someday and you will regret all the mean things you did to him. Trust me.

  • Well, I'm not (random friend's name)'s Mom, am I? You'll have to see if you can move in with him/her if that's what you want.

  • Why don't you have a piece of fruit instead?

  • Not until your room is clean.

See what I mean? Oh, the humanity!

It's not you, it's me...

Charlie sent me this and I thought it was cute. While I have neither the talent nor the TIME to make such a video, I know that some of you would be fantastic at this sort of thing. Though for $15 grand, I might be able to MAKE time...

Swiffer and Warner Music are hosting a contest called the “Swiffer Break-up Music Video Contest.” The Grand Prize for the contest is $15,000.

Here’s how it works:

Participants can submit a short video to YouTube that demonstrates how they “broke up” with their old cleaning products and now use Swiffer for all their cleaning needs. If you enter, you receive 10 downloads of “break-up” songs to use in the video (that’s one of the requirements). The top 10 videos will be posted to YouTube for the general public to cast a vote for their favorite and the video with the most votes wins $15,000.

You can find a complete list of rules, prizes and approved “break-up” songs at the Swiffer brand channel at

Get busy!!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Crunchy & Sweet

I stole this from Peaches who was a Lemon. Heh. But seriously.

Yes I had another one of those nights.....sigh.

You Are an Apple

You are strong, powerful, and even a bit stubborn at times. You have enough strength to help those around you in trouble.
You are adventurous and charming. Many people are drawn to you. You love life, and you enjoy traveling the world. You enjoy fine food, art, and culture.

People have accused you of being a snob, but that's not accurate. You do enjoy the best things in life. Unlike snobs, you truly appreciate quality... not just pretend to.

Attention Staff at Candyland Elementary School

Fifth grader on a rampage. Expect scowling, grumbling, pouting, tears and possibly shouting (although it is believed that she saves the shouting for her mother.). This hormonal child is very volatile and may seem fine at first, but when provoked can become very....pissy. Please use caution when approaching the fifth grader. She looks harmless at first in her Choir shirt and ponytail. DON"T BE FOOLED! She is capable of tearing your head right off!
It has been reported that her mother told her that her best friend can no longer come over after school since her room is a disaster. This does not sit well with hormonal 11-year-olds. Mom is unsympathetic.
Please exercise extreme caution in dealing with this child. We care about out staff and want them to keep all of their limbs and appendages.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


So, what was wrong with that picture? In short, nothing really.

I shot the teacher an email this morning (which is the morning that school started two hours late for no discernible reason other than it was COLD which totally jacked up my morning because then SP and Bear could go to school before 10:00, Bug's preschool was delayed until 10:30 and I had to be all the way out at the base for a lunch at the Officers Club at 11:00 and now there are chunks of hair missing from my head)** (geez....digress much?)

*ahem* As I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself....

I sent SP's teacher an email this morning asking if I could meet with her during her planning period this afternoon to discuss the assignment. She called later to let me know that it would be fine, but could we just knock it out over the phone?

I told her that I hadn't let SP redo the assignment because we were unclear as to what the actual instructions were. That I saw no problems with the original. She said that she really didn't have a big problem with SP's picture, either. As some of us thought, SP had colored MLK's lips and fingernails a little darker than the rest of him.

Mrs. Englishteacher said that while SP's was appropriate, she had asked the class not to color the lips or fingernails a different color. She said that SP is the best student she has and is quite a leader in her class. Evidently SP's classmates often try to emulate her work. (The assignment was to be completed in class today.) Mrs. Englishteacher was concerned that while the colors on SP's paper were appropriate, she couldn't count on the other students being so judicious. She was afraid that some students might take the difference in color to extreme and that it might be viewed as racist.

I still think that perhaps the teacher was over-compensating somewhat in the name of political correctness, but I saw her point. I also wonder if she wasn't kissing my ass a little. But I thanked her for her time and I told her how I appreciated her willingness to listen.

I had SP just erase the color from the lips and fingernails and go over them lightly with the brown she used for the rest of the picture. She gave it to Mrs. Englishteacher this morning and the teacher was pleased.

Hopefully, I taught my daughter how to stand up for herself (or someone she loves) without having to belittle or try to make the other person feel bad about themselves. While going postal on someone can be satisfying at times (I'm looking at you TXU!), I really prefer to be nice and settle conflicts peacefully. Just like MLK taught us. Right?

**This run-on sentence brought to you by the Horrified Writing Instructors of America (HWTA).

Friday, January 18, 2008

What's wrong with this picture?

SugarPlum's teacher is making her redo this picture as homework this weekend. She told SP something about how in the past, people would make fun of African Americans by wearing black-face. SP is beside herself.

I honestly fail to see what the problem is. I have looked at this a dozen times in the past hour and can't figure it out. So, I am am asking you, my dear friends and readers, do you see anything offensive about this? I am at a loss. Any comments about this are welcome.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Not your traditional parent

This conversation from the other night falls under the heading of "Just start your period already and give us all a break!" She had spent the day rolling her eyes, sighing heavily and antagonizing her brothers.

SugarPlum: I don't know what's wrong with me. I have just felt like punching someone in the face all day!

Me: Hmmmm. Are your panties up your butt? ::reaching down to give cute little tush a pinch::

SP: (shocked, incredulous face) WHAT?????

Me: I said, are your panties up in your butt? When my panties get all up in my butt, I feel like punching someone in the face. Maybe that's what's going on?

SP: hahahahahahahaha!!!!! ::gigging so much that she can hardly walk::


Monday, January 14, 2008


I believe.....
  • that children should have to do their own laundry.

  • that I should get double workout credit for every time I have to walk across the house to fetch a blanket, stuffed animal, lost shoe, or a Diet Coke. Especially Diet Coke.

  • that for every episode of Caillou that I have ever have to watch, I should be compensated with an extra episode of Project Runway, Grey's Anatomy, America's Next Top Model, and/or an entire extra season of Sex and the City.

  • that you should tell your loved ones that you love them as often as you can.

  • that all personal injury lawyer commercials should be prohibited under penalty of death.

  • that I really should have stopped having these acne breakouts by now.

  • that if it doesn't taste good, the calories and fat should be deducted from your ass.

  • that Moms should get a mute button to eliminated that whiny, shrieking sound that follows such phrases as "bedtime," "go clean your room," or "share that with your brother."

  • that I should be also get to project an eardrum-splitting alarm directly through the phone line and into the ear of that Indian guy who keeps calling me from Chase bank, trying to sell me "business services."

  • that time should stop while I am on the computer and not restart until I am done reading all I need to read so that I don't have to feel guilty about it.

  • that mommy-guilt should burn at least twice as many calories as exercise.

  • that every Mommy, regardless of whether she works or not, deserves to have a housekeeper.

  • that those roller skate sneaker things should be made illegal.

  • that Xanax should be available over the counter for moms.

  • that people who call their kids "stupid" or "worthless" or anything similar should be tarred and feathered.

  • that shaving your legs between October and April should be banned.

  • that Webkinz are a tool of Satan.

  • that my girlfriends are the only ones keeping me sane much of the time.

  • that I want to be as mean as this mom when my kids get older.

(SugarMommy reserves the right to add to this list when ever something else of importance occurs to her. This could happen with alarming frequency. You've been warned)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

(To paraphrase Dirty Harry Callahan)

My good friend Charlie sent me these "opportunities" a few weeks ago and I promptly forgot to post them. you go. DO you feel lucky? (And also, is the Prilosec tie in freakin' HILARIOUS?)


The Prilosec OTC Winning Play Giveaway. Participants can win a trip with a friend or family member to Super Bowl XLII in Glendale, Arizona (February 3, 2008). You can get all the details and enter here:

Prilosec OTC is giving away a total of four trips to Super Bowl XLII. Each Grand Prize winner will receive two (2) tickets to Super Bowl XLII on February 3, 2008, one hotel room for four (4) night's accommodations at a hotel of the sponsor’s choice and $1,000 in spending money. Additionally, more than one hundred instant winners will receive other prizes, including an autographed Brett Favre Mini Football Helmet and $25 VISA® Gift Cards.

To play, go to Once a day, you can enter for the chance to win, beginning on December 15, 2007 at 12:00 a.m. ET through January 15, 2008 at 11:59 p.m. ET. After playing, you can download the official “Prilosec OTC Winning Play Giveaway” widget to remind you to play daily.

* * * is giving away free samples of Fiber One cereal. To receive your sample, all you have to do is sign up for the Eat Better America newsletter, here:

The Eat Better America newsletter is sent out once per month. It provides recipes and tips for people to start living healthier lives.

Fiber One provides 57% of the average adults daily fiber requirement, has 0 grams of sugar and 60 calories per serving.

Although I guess the question for this last one is "Do you feel regular?"

Dirty Harry is gonna kick my ass. I just know it.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Why I Love Him Wednesday

A while back, Sleeping Mommy started a little thing called Why I Love Him Wednesdays. I thought that it was really sweet since we do spend so much time bitching about our husbands, when in reality we love them more than we can possibly express. I have been meaning to participate, but just keep forgetting. Mommy Alzheimer's or somethings.

Lately, things have been rough in the marriage department. We are coming up on our 14th Weeding Anniversary. And you know what? Marriage is HARD. At least having a happy marriage is hard work. Nobody ever told me this. Or if they did I never listened. Many of you know the stuff we have been through and if you don't, well, too bad. I have decided to (try) to put that behind me and start fresh. I'm not sure how successful this will be, but I have high hopes. Let's pray they don't get smashed to pieces.


So this week, I will focus on one of the HUGE reasons that I love SugarDaddy. Actually there are three. He gave me these three smart, funny, beautiful children. And he is an amazing father to them. He makes a point to spend time with each of them. All three of my children know that their Daddy thinks the world of them. They know that he loves them and that he is proud of them and that he is always there for them. This is SO very important in a child's life. They never have to feel like they are seeking his approval. HE shows it and says it and lets them each hear him brag on them. They have such confidence and self-esteem because of how he interacts with them. What an invaluable gift.

I know that regardless of what is going on in OUR relationship, SD never lets the kids feel responsible. And I love him for that. I'm a lucky mommy to have kids with that blessing.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Eleven the Blink of an Eye

I have been a Mommy for eleven years now. Hard to believe that it's been that long since this.
Eleven years and two days ago
Eleven years ago today

Is it just me or do I Look like I'm the one who is eleven?!

And TODAY. Look at this beautiful young lady! (with her new goalie gloves from GrayGray)
I am the luckiest Mommy alive.

Happy Birthday SugarPlum! I love you!

Friday, January 04, 2008

Tide and Downy and Bounce Sheets, Oh My!!

I think I've figured it out. The source of my never-ending laundry problem. I have noticed that even though I do laundry every blessed day, I never can seem to find the end. As soon as I have all of the laundry put away, there seems to be a basket-full in each and every bedroom. And it frustrates me TO NO END.

So, I started paying attention to what was going on around here with laundry. And I finally pinned down the cause of my dismay.

It's the children. (duh)

They change clothes every single day. Sometimes more than once. And at night? They INSIST on wearing PAJAMAS. What's that all about? Every night. Then they wake up in the morning and put on NEW CLOTHES. Geez, people! Give me a break! Can't you see that those clothes are CLEAN??? I just hung that shirt up yesterday!

What's wrong with what you wore yesterday? Okay, so there's a little spot on that shirt. As if you aren't going to just get stuff on the shirt you wear today. Whose gonna notice? You're in first grade. You ALL have crap on your shirts.

I'm not even going to go into the towels. And the sheets. And the SOCKS. Oy vey, the socks!

But they remain resolute in their ridiculous daily wardrobe changes. Nothing I can say seems to sway them. And worst of all, their father is BACKING THEM UP! Though, the man is the only one who does wear the same thing several days in a military pilots are wont to do. But he sees nothing unreasonable in their actions. Bastard.**

So, as it looks for the moment, I am stuck washing clothes for these people over and over and over again. For the rest of my life. Does anyone else have this problem? Any suggestions?

I'll be in the laundry room if you have any ideas.

**Just kidding! Love you honey!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Also, TIME--if you can find where to purchase it.....

To all my friends who sent best wishes for 2007, it did NOTHING at all.

So, for 2008, please send money, wine or gasoline vouchers.

Thanking you in advance...Cheers!

Happy New Year!