please pass the vodka

I was reading an article a few days ago (and now I can't find it, OF COURSE) that said, in essence, that people would be surprised how many mothers of young children are alcoholics.

Quite honestly, after the past several days around here, I am MORE surprised at how many mothers of young children are NOT alcoholics.

Pardon me while I go break up another fight....and then pour another a glass of wine.

A note to my daughter:

Please, for the love of Pete, start your period already. I'm not convinced it will help your attitude at all, but at least then we will have a reasonable explanation for the moody, dramatic, hateful bull***t that keeps spewing from you. It's like non-stop PMS around here lately. GEEZ.

Did you not get the memo? MOMMY is the only one allowed to be moody, dramatic and bitchy. The rest of you are all supposed to gather 'round and sing my praises all day. And get me popsicles. Or maybe margaritas.

So cheer up already!!!

~Your loving Mommy