What's in a name?

I have a thing about nametags. I really think that they should be required in any an all situations where I am meeting people - and not just for the first time. I have a terrible short term memory and it takes me FOREVER to learn people's names.


This is especially bad in a flying squadron. Fighter pilots (and other flyers, sometimes) all have call signs (think Top Gun - Maverick, Goose, Ice, Hollywood, etc). The problem is, they all call each other by their call signs most of the time. So, truly, I don't know some guy's names. If I am friends with their wives (okay, SPOUSES - it is the 21st century), sometimes I know the guy's name, although, sometimes the wives call their husband's by the call sign as well. I usually know a guy's call sign or his real name -- rarely both.

As an aside, I have a theory that if you aren't sure of a fighter pilot's name, you can say Dave, Mike or Jim and be right at least 65% of the time.


Anyway, I have been campaigning for years to have the guys, when we have a function with couples, wear a nametag stating their call sign, their actual name, and to whom they belong. For example: SugarDaddy Lastname, "Maverick"**, Buffi's husband.

(oh, please like you still dont have a tiny crush on Maverick from Top Gun. NOT Tom Cruise, just Maverick. don't kill my fantasy here.)

Reciprocally, I would be perfectly willing to wear a nametag saying Buffi Lastname, Maverick's wife. Then we can all put the pieces together and know exactly who it is we are talking to. This will also help avoid those awkward situations where you are going on and on about what an ass some guy is only to find out that A) you are talking to his wife and B) her husband is YOUR husband's boss. Oh, yeah. Like THAT'S never happened.

I also think that we should wear nametags like this in other situations. At church, after-school pick up, PTA (Buffi: Bug's Mom), dinner parties, Target (because, seriously I cannot go to Target without seeing at least four people I know, at least peripherally), weddings (Buffi: college roommate of Bride), etc.

I think that this would be helpful at funerals as well. We were at a Memorial Service recently and I just couldn't help feeling bad for the wife and extended family of the deceased because they looked at so many people like "who the heck are you?" As did all of the other folks at the funeral. I wondered how some of these folks fit in. I just think that it would be better if you had your name and "Jim's sister-in-law," "Jim's ex-wife's brother" "Jim's barber" "Jim's boss's wife" "I work for the funeral home" "I'm a creep who just likes to go to funerals."


Could this get out of hand? Yes. But would it be SO MUCH FUN? For me anyway? Absolutely.

Tide and Downy and Bounce Sheets, Oh My!!

I think I've figured it out. The source of my never-ending laundry problem. I have noticed that even though I do laundry every blessed day, I never can seem to find the end. As soon as I have all of the laundry put away, there seems to be a basket-full in each and every bedroom. And it frustrates me TO NO END.

So, I started paying attention to what was going on around here with laundry. And I finally pinned down the cause of my dismay.

It's the children. (duh)

They change clothes every single day. Sometimes more than once. And at night? They INSIST on wearing PAJAMAS. What's that all about? Every night. Then they wake up in the morning and put on NEW CLOTHES. Geez, people! Give me a break! Can't you see that those clothes are CLEAN??? I just hung that shirt up yesterday!

What's wrong with what you wore yesterday? Okay, so there's a little spot on that shirt. As if you aren't going to just get stuff on the shirt you wear today. Whose gonna notice? You're in first grade. You ALL have crap on your shirts.

I'm not even going to go into the towels. And the sheets. And the SOCKS. Oy vey, the socks!

But they remain resolute in their ridiculous daily wardrobe changes. Nothing I can say seems to sway them. And worst of all, their father is BACKING THEM UP! Though, the man is the only one who does wear the same thing several days in a row....as military pilots are wont to do. But he sees nothing unreasonable in their actions. Bastard.**

So, as it looks for the moment, I am stuck washing clothes for these people over and over and over again. For the rest of my life. Does anyone else have this problem? Any suggestions?

I'll be in the laundry room if you have any ideas.


**Just kidding! Love you honey!

Ask me anything! (within reason)

Okay, a few posts back, I lost my mind and actually encouraged you people to ask me questions so that I could stock the old blog...as it were. So, here are some of the questions and answers. You people are crazy. Ask more if you want. I promise to try to answer as best I can. Unless you are a smarty pants like Bob here:


Q: Why does string theory require at least ten dimensions?

A: Archduke Franz Ferdinand (hey, makes as much sense as anything else I might come up with.)

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The next question comes from my dear precious friend CRB (who, incidentally is the mother of Buttercup, who should be making her appearance next month):

Q: Why is it that some people don't hear or maybe don't have the little voice in their head that tells them to S.T.O.P what they are doing before someone goes postal on them????!!!!

A: Gee are we talking about any ex-husband person in particular here or is this just something you've been pondering for a while? I have no answer for this one either, though if I did, I would probably be able to write a book, make a gazillion dollars and then we could escape to a spa for a month or so. AND? perhaps hire somebody to "take care of" these problem ex-husbands people of whom you speak.

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Karin and Angel asked me a couple of really great questions, but, as I am trying to make this theme last several posts, you will have to wait until tomorrow to see them! Now, what else do you want to know?

Like I said.....

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. You can smell a grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is revered by the underlings, though some may blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just jealous. Go out there and change the world.
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