Dear Jack Frost, what did I ever do to YOU?

Tomorrow is day two of TEXAS! Snowpocolypse 2011.

Today the boys got up at 4:00. FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE F(&^*G MORNING. True story.

They went outside and proceeded to scream their bloody heads off at 6:30 in the f*^*(g morning. Way to make friends with the new neighbors, guys. Also, the wind chill was -23. No lie.

At 6:35, they were each banished to their respective rooms for two hours by a very cranky lady who may have been their mother...it's all such a blur.

At 8:35, Bug gingerly woke me to ask if he & Bear could please fix themselves some breakfast.

The rest of the day was filled with whining, complaining and pleas for more cookies. When the kids got tired of bringing me cookies, they asked to go back outside. Bug left all three (yes) of his winter coats at school, so he is wearing SugarPlum's old down parka from 3rd grade. Not pink, but DEFINITELY girly. Also, there aren't enough gloves for everyone since I threw out all of the mismatched ones in the last move, so it's getting a little cutthroat. AND Bear is wearing my snow boots since his are too small (and when did his feet get THAT BIG?). So SugarPlum is a little pissy until she finds the boots I bought last Christmas when we were at Candyland West (aka grandparent's house).

I made soup and a cherry pie for supper. Put the boys to bed on time and watched a movie with SP.

Since it never got above 16 degrees today, nothing melted and there is no school tomorrow. And I heard the weatherman say that this might not begin to melt until Friday. FRI.DAY. Folks, I didn't think to go to the liquor store before the storm hit. Something's gotta give. For the love of Frosty, let there be school on Thursday. Also, for everyone's sake, pray that those boys both sleep in. At least until 7:00. I'm a much better mommy after, say 9:30 or so.

I'm a Berry Punny Girl!

I think that I may have single-handedly pissed off all the birds in Candyland. That's quite a feat, when you think about it. But the avian population is all atwitter right now over my actions. <----- (See what I did there? Birds? Atwitter? Hahaha! Just me then?)

Remember a few years back when I was so pleased and happy with the abundance of butterflies on my driveway who were attracted by the strange little berries? Well, I have yet to identify the berries, but now I HATE the little buggers. My driveway is pretty much covered with those berries, only they aren't attracting butterflies any more. They are attracting birds. All kinds of birds: robins, grackles, wrens, pigeons, and I don't know what else. But what I do know is that well fed birds crap all over my driveway. Yes, the driveway attached to this house that I am trying to sell.

I have been at a loss as to what to do about the berries. They really do look like little albino blackberries. According to the birds, they are quite delish. Being that they are freshly fallen berries - full of juicy goodness - I knew that if I tried to sweep them up, it would only lead to a big, mushy mess and a ruined broom (I know this because of the time one of the SugarBabies - not naming names, but it rhymes with "Rug") accidently spilled a huge container of fresh blackberries onto my beige tiled kitchen floor. So much for that broom (for the record, however, Clorox spray bleach + Sonic Scrubber = clean floor!). When I was on the phone with SD, he suggested the leaf blower, but I really don't have anywhere to blow them to, plus when I tried to scoop them up, we're back to the big-old-mushy-mess problem.

Then, in a stroke of genius, I realized the solution to my problem. Two words: Shop. Vac. (Okay, technically, that may just be one and a half words). I unraveled the superty-duper long extension cord and hooked that Shop Vac and went to town sucking up those berries from my drive way.

And the birds? Are none too pleased with me. Even over the giant sucking sound (paging Ross Perot...) I could hear them berating me.Shaking their little birdy fists at me. They were practically SHOUTING, "No, don't suck up the berries! That's our schmorgasboad. (even spell checker is stumped by that word)! How will we feed our babies?!" I felt a little like the mean Homeowners' Assn lady in "Over the Hedge."

Then I realized that my life is not created by Pixar or Dreamworks. (Because if it were, I would totally have a nanny & a maid.) (And a live-in masseur.) (And Mark Harmon would be my husband). AAAaannyyways, I stayed firmly grounded and continued sucking up berries - which almost completely filled up the Shop Vac -until the boys who are doing my yard while SD is gone - offered to blow what little was left them into a pile and haul them off for me. Teenage boys are so great...at least to me. Until MINE are teenage boys and then I'll probably have a different opinion.

So, right now, I firmly believe that the ShopVac is one of the greatest inventions in the history of the world. Right up there with the microwave oven and TiVo (seriously, I can pause live television!). Sadly, the berries will probably be back tomorrow. But I will prevail. I WILL PREVAIL!

(Okay, you know that I have just tempted Mother Nature and now she is going to totally kick my ass)

Help! I'm melting! (and a SugarPuppy update)

W0e are at another soccer tournament in DALLAS this weekend. Seriously, it's like 147 degrees. It is miserable. Though, watching my girl play goalie like a pro makes it totally worth it. She is amazing. It would be even better if it was about 85 degrees.

I know, bitch & moan, bitch and moan......

On a good note, we got Snazzy home Thursday! SO happy. Actually a lady found her about five blocks from our house. That she was sighted with Yogi when he was found about 8 miles from our house, makes it a miracle, I think. She was coming home.....again! Everyone seems healthy and happy! My kids are still beside themselves.

Okay....off to sweat to death at our final game. Pray that I don't melt!!

The Night the Lights Went Out in Candyland

First....can you believe that I have made it almost to the end of NaBloPoMo and haven't missed a day?! Shocks the hell out of me. I know, I have totally jinxed myself. But only three more days. Surely I can make it. Maybe I oughta give someone the keys, just in case I slip into a coma or get taken hostage by crazed toddlers or something. (Don't laugh. It could totally happen in my world!)

Actually, by some strange twist of fate, I ended up posting shortly after church Sunday rather than after the kids were in bed, as was the original plan. Thank goodness, or my posting streak would have ended and you would have heard my anguished cry for miles around.


We were sitting in the living room Sunday night, playing with the kids and generally having a good time, when zzzzzzzppp the lights went out for a second. They came back on and then *POW* they went off again in spectacular fashion. Kinda freaky. Especially if you are four.

Seems that just enough ice and snow had accumulated on the trees out back that they drooped down and rubbed the transformer, causing it to blow. (The boys were quite impressed upon hearing - at least they thought - that there were Transformers kasploding outside. Boy were they disappointed.)

First things first, SD found flashlights and we lit the fire in the fireplace. Score one for gas logs. Then we lit some candles and called the electric delivery people (hi Bob!). The recording said that the power should be back on by 9:00 PM. No problem. I might miss Desperate Housewives, but at least I'd get to see Brothers and Sisters. (Yes, I have my priorities straight!)

SugarPlum and I sat down by the fire and she remarked that she guessed that now we know how the pioneers felt. At least pioneers who lived in well insulated houses with natural gas fireplaces and stoves. And flashlights. And cell phones. Those pioneers. You remember Laura Ingalls Wilder lamenting about the time they had no internet access for several hours, right?


The SugarBabies remembered decided they wanted to call and tell GrayGray about the snow and the power going out. Bug relayed it in this way:


Gway! I went to the potty and I POOPED in the potty. Then I wiped and then I flushed. And When I FLUSHED? The LIGHTS ALL WENT OUT! It fweaked me out Gway!


My dad could. not. stop. laughing. All he could say was, "Well, Bug, that must have been one powerful poop!"

We sat around the fire for a while, but as it WAS a school night, eventually, we had to get everyone to bed. The boys were a little fweaked out about going to bed with no power. I tried to explain that IT'S NIGHT! It would be dark in your room regardless. But there's no reasoning with little boys. So, SD found a chem stick light and hung it from their ceiling fan and put batteries in their cd player so that they could hear their lullabyes. They thought that they would get out of brushing their teeth until SD pointed out that the electricity was out, not the water. With the aid of the flashlight, we were able to read a chapter out of Junie B Jones and everyone was off to bed. (That Junie B. She's a caution!)

I honestly expected it to be an up-and-down night for the boys, full of MOOOOMMMYYYY!!!s and the other tactics little boys use to avoid sleep. But, surprisingly enough, both boys went right to sleep. Perhaps the dark, dark hallway was too daunting for them. Or perhaps it was the death threats if they got out of bed. Hard to say.

Next, SP and I settled on the couch for a chapter of To Kill a Mockingbird, during which the lights came on for about a four seconds. Only to go off AGAIN in spectacular fashion. At this point, SD was back out seeing what the Oncor guys were doing. The power would come on and he said that you could see it arc and send sparks flying everywhere. That's always good to hear. Eventually, they had to call a tree trimmer to come out and cut away several branches. A tree trimmer. On a Sunday. Night. In the snow. Oh yeah, somebody got some hella overtime!

SD came back in and we settled in with some hot chocolate (hooray again for natural gas!) and Us Magazine War and Peace. Eventually, it became obvious that we were not going to have power anytime soon. I had already missed Brothers and Sisters (dammit) and now we were missing he news (which always pisses me off), so we decided to go to bed. After a while, we noticed that it was awfully quiet out there where they had been working. I called back to check on the ETA for the power while SD went back outside to see what was - or wasn't - going on.

On my end, I found out that "crews are working on your outage and your power will be restored as soon as possible." No actual time. That can't be good. SD returned, chucking, saying that they were indeed working and that our next door neighbor was giving them a piece of her mind. I'm sure that helped. Meanwhile I was texting my Twitter in order to chide Bob about my outage. Then, with lots of fleece and several blankets, we went to sleep.

SD got up at 5:00 AM to start the fire in the living room so that we wouldn't all freeze when we got up. He totally rocks. He said that the power FINALLY came on at about 5:30. Since we didn't get up until 7:00 or so, all was well for the rest of us in the morning. But SD was exhausted.

And the SugarBabies had a GREAT story to tell at school Monday. Now, I'd better get this thing posted so as to avoid any unforeseen delays!

Yeah. I suck.

Okay, I'll be honest. I don't think that beach post is ever gonna happen. Now that we have been back for over two weeks, it just seems kinda lame. Yet, I have been hesitant to post anything until I tell you both (I'm being realistic now, nobody comes by here anymore as far as I can tell...) about the beach. Because it was great. And relaxing. And I wish that it could have gone on forever.


But we are back home and SD is back to work and the kids are.....dammit, the kids are all at home because some joker in the Texas legislature decided that it would be a great idea to move the start of school back two weeks. Said joker obviously has no kids. Because today it's 103 degrees and they won't even go play outside -- unless it is to play in the hot tub. Where is the logic there? No, they would rather stay inside and beat the shit out of each other and ask me every 38 seconds if they can have another snack. I don't know how we will ever afford them once they are teenagers. Heh. As if they will live into their teens.


So, about the dearth of posts. It isn't likely to get better any time soon. If the beach taught me anything, it was to appreciate the company of my husband and children. I have actually been enjoying SD. We have been having these great conversations (and other interactions *ahem*) sorta like when we were first dating and married. That's been good. And of course, my kids are always freakin' hilarious. Though now, I am able to better appreciate the humor of these crazy kiddos now that I am not the only person responsible for them day in and day out. As a result, I find myself NOT on the computer more than ever while I indulge my family with my loving attentions. I'm sure that will get old soon.

That said, I am sure that my wacky progeny will be committing many blogworthy acts, so things won't be totally dead around here. And, as I said, school starts in two weeks, so once I am able to hear myself think again, perhaps I will start posting a little more regularly. Perhaps....

Happy Tuesday!