Yeah, a list post. Because it's too hot for paragraphs.

1. The past two weeks have been truly insane around here for lots of reasons.
2. Last weekend was Bug & Bear's birthday party and it went well. NINETEEN children were in my backyard, armed with water guns, water balloons, and other weapons of mass (lawn) destruction. A good time was had by all.
3. And then we all passed out.
4. Last week was Bear & SP's last week of school. I attended the awards ceremonies for both children. Which is always a bucket of fun.
5. Though both kids DID get certificates for All 'A' Honor Roll. (patting self on back even though I had very little to do with it).
6. Bug is on a bit of a tear. And by "a bit of a tear" I mean the child has been a little shit -testing every limit that we have EVER established and falling to the ground screaming when I enforce said limits. Yesterday was the real corker though because he threw a big stinking fit during children's church and our children's minister had to come get me out of the church service. Oh, I was furious. But I did hold it together enough to not yell at him. I didn't even cuss!
7. I'm a little freaked out because Bug is no longer a "preschooler" AND SugarPlum is no longer an elementary school student. I have a child in junior high. That's just wrong.
8. I got notification of my 20 year HS reunion. THAT is seriously fucked up. I am definitely not old enough to have been out of high school for 20 years.
9. I am officially addicted to Twitter. And it is pissing me off because it has been seriously jacked up lately. That flying whale is officially my least favorite thing to see now.
10. I saw this "Cuss-o-Meter on somebody's site (can't tell you who any more). It looks at the first page of a blog and gives you the percentage of cussing yours has compared to other pages on the web. So, mine? 0% Zero. Percent. That is fucking unacceptable.
11. I finally watched last week's episode of "Top Chef" and was dismayed that my secret crush, Spike, had to pack his knives and go.
12. I am consoled only by the fact that "So You Think You Can Dance" is back. I love me some Nigel Lithgow! (And Tice DiOrio is really nice to look at, too)
13. Have twice answered the phone this weekend and impressively restrained myself from saying, "Are you fucking kidding me?" Really, you wouldn't believe how much self-control that took.
14. Finally, my favorite kid-quote of the month: "For breakfast I want a fried egg. No, wait, Mommy. I want a Mond Egg. And tomorrow, I want a Tuesd Egg." Silly boys.

That ought to bump me up on the cuss-o-meter!

What's wrong with this picture?

SugarPlum's teacher is making her redo this picture as homework this weekend. She told SP something about how in the past, people would make fun of African Americans by wearing black-face. SP is beside herself.

I honestly fail to see what the problem is. I have looked at this a dozen times in the past hour and can't figure it out. So, I am am asking you, my dear friends and readers, do you see anything offensive about this? I am at a loss. Any comments about this are welcome.

Today I am bitching about:

1. The odor emanating from my guest suite. This is pretty funny of you have talked to me on the phone in the past week or so.


2. The Ron Paul for President people. You know I'm a Republican, but this guy is a little too fringe for me. (Didn't he used to be a Libertarian?) These people are every.where. I'd give you a link but I don't want to encourage them.


3. TWITTER. Okay, I am loving the Twitter. But one of the people I am "following" is getting totally put of hand with the postings. It is making me crazy. When you stop following someone, are they notified? I don't want to piss this person off. If you are reading this and you think it might be you, trust me, it's not.


4. My sidebar. Those archives are just out of control. I know that I've whined about this before, but does anybody know how to put them into some sort of drop-down thing with out ruining my very old template?


5. The way Stacy and Clint (on What Not to Wear) say "pant" and "shoes." Like "Now this is a really great pant." or "You need a better shoe." They are PANTS and SHOES. Sheesh. (Okay, it doesn't trouble me enough to stop watching. I'm addicted. I even TiVo the reruns! Pa.the.tic.)


6. Speaking of silly "reality" television....That prissy Christian guy on Project Runway. He makes me crazy. And his designs are all boxy and FUGLY. I'm quite over him and I'm ready for him to be Auf'd.


7. My dogs. Their barking is going to push me right over the edge. I know. They are DOGS. And dogs bark. But it's the bossy bark at the door as if I am OBLIGATED to let her in or out whenever she chooses. It's like the Gospel According to Snazzy: "Behold, I stand at the door, and bark: if any man (or woman. or child. well, anyone who can work a doorknob) hear my voice - open the door already! I will come in to him, and will sup with him, (sleep with him, chew up his new shoes, shed all over his furniture and clothes)...and he with me." 1 Labradorians 7:14


8. The end of NaBloPoMo. I really didn't think I'd make it a whole month posting DAILY. But it has been pretty cool. Hopefully, I can keep this up. Maybe not every day, but several times a week. We'll see.