Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The consequences of teaching children the correct terminology for their body parts

The Google pervs are going to LOVE this post. *sigh*

I swear to L. Ron Hubbard that this is ALL true. Seriously. You can't make this stuff up.

The discussion in the bathroom

Bug: Mommy, where does your tee-tee come out?

Me (thinking, Lord, I'm not in the mood for THIS conversation right now) ::trying to remain cool & nonchalant:: Out of my urethra, just like yours. Only girls' are tucked up more inside than boys'.

Bug (looking skeptical, but not sure how to respond): Well, then, where is your scrotum?

Me: Girls don't have scrotums. (scrota? scroti?)**

Bear: (looking absolutely horrified) Well then....where do you put your testicles??

Me: *sigh* Girls don't have testicles. We have ovaries and they are up inside of us about right here (pointing at lower abdominal area).

Bear: SugarPlum, too?

Me: Yes, all girls.

Bear & Bug ::silently exchange knowing look that says, "Clearly, WE got the better end of that deal!!"::

The discussion in the dressing room

Bug walked in just as I was getting dressed after a shower....

Bug (with furrowed brow): Hey! I saw hair down there.

Me (once again trying to act like this is no big deal): Yeah, that happens to grown ups. They all get hair in weird places.

Bug (looking at me like I am crazy): WELL. Daddy has a penis!

aaand he stomps off

::Thank you, my little Freudlet::

**evidently it IS "scrota", because when I spell checked that is the option that was NOT highlighted. Who knew? See! I'm informative as well as humorous!

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