Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Dear SugarBabies,

Why, oh why do you insist on beating the holy hell out of each other all day? I try to ignore it some of the time on the premise that you need to learn how to resolve conflicts by yourselves and that this is one of the many reasons that I have more than one children. After a while, however the screams become too much (or actual blood is shed) and I have to intervene with such brilliant edicts as, "I don't want anyone touching anyone else in this house for the rest of the day!!"

Other times, I am more sensible and sit you all down and give you long lectures about how we must be kind to one another and that hurting your brother (or sister) is NOT okay. Even if he has the truck you want to play with. Even if he just destroyed your Lego structure. Even if he looked at you with "that smarty-pants smile on his face." It is just not okay. And you will be confined to your bed for an indeterminate amount of time if it happens again.

And it ALWAYS happens again. Why is this? Are you brain damaged? Did you suffer some sort of head injury that I am as yet unaware of (most likely the result of an assault by one of your siblings)? Or are you just trying, yet again to make my head explode? Because, while in theory, that might be wicked cool, in the long run you will regret it because then there will be nobody to make your supper. And if you recall, I'm the only one who knows how to access Zoboomafoo from PBS Kids OnDemand. And really, what would your life be with out that smart-ass little lemur?


So, I beseech you. End the guerrilla warfare. NOW. My nerves are shot and I'm nearly out of Xanax. Daddy will be home in one week and you can go to work then on making HIS head explode. He'll have jet lag, so really it won't be much of a challenge. Until that time, however, please concentrate on familial harmony. Otherwise, I cannot guarantee that Daddy will come home to three kids. And while that idea does hold a certain appeal at times, someone will eventually alert the authorities and then we will have a real mess on our hands. Plus, I would lose that bet with Ms Elizabeth where I said that I could too make it for twelve months without killing one of the children. And I could really use that five bucks. So, if nothing else, let's do this for the money, shall we? It's all about the BenjaminsAbrahams.

All my love,

Your Mommy

PS As of today I have been blogging for two whole years! SugarBabies need to thank the blogosphere for providing this outlet for my frustration and anxiety. Things might have been a lot worse, otherwise!

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