Obviously I need to censor myself better...but at least it wasn't the f-bomb

Bear, noticing the rather large ding in my windshield:

"Wow! That was a damn big rock!"

Me: *coughcoughcough* What did you say?

Bear: "That was a damn big rock!"

Yes, we discussed how that wasn't a word that is okay children use, blah, blah, blah....

LATER:

after telling SugarDaddy about the earlier conversation: *snicker* "Well, at least he used it correctly!"

Me: That's what I was thinking! hee hee hee

Again, where was my camera?!

Driving home from, yes, another soccer tournament yesterday, we passed the Adult Video & Bookstore that is out in the big middle of Nowheresville. I have mentioned it before, not that long ago. Well, this time SD was with us and he was the one who noticed the sign that said:

Adult Video sale! RISE TO THE OCCASION!

Seriously? I have to hope that the meant to do that.

Help! I'm melting! (and a SugarPuppy update)

W0e are at another soccer tournament in DALLAS this weekend. Seriously, it's like 147 degrees. It is miserable. Though, watching my girl play goalie like a pro makes it totally worth it. She is amazing. It would be even better if it was about 85 degrees.

I know, bitch & moan, bitch and moan......

On a good note, we got Snazzy home Thursday! SO happy. Actually a lady found her about five blocks from our house. That she was sighted with Yogi when he was found about 8 miles from our house, makes it a miracle, I think. She was coming home.....again! Everyone seems healthy and happy! My kids are still beside themselves.

Okay....off to sweat to death at our final game. Pray that I don't melt!!

More random crap about me....just what you wanted, right?!

My lovely friend, Faith, from Momma's Tantrum has tagged me for a meme. I have done this one before, with varying numbers of required "random things." So, I will try to think of six MORE random things...but if I repeat myself, sorry.

Six Random Things About Me

1. I am a dog person. I have had at least one dog all my life except for the first year I was married and for the 2 1/2 years we lived in England. And I was so sad without one. In fact, I got my first dog after I was married on my first anniversary. Her name was Mischief (for a reason!) and she was one of the best dogs ever. Right now, we are anxiously awaiting the return of Snazzy, who escaped Saturday night with Yogi. Yogi was found by a very nice lady about eight miles from our house. But still no Snazzy puppy. We are all profoundly saddened by this. :(
2. I have a real need to watch the local news every night. I get twitchy when I can't watch it.
3. I can read encyclopedias for HOURS. I love Google and how handy it is to look up information (sometimes too handy - re: medical issues!). But when I am at my parents' house I look stuff up in our old encyclopedias and end up with seven or eight of them stacked around me later and reading about whatever has caught my attention. Sort of Informational ADD.
4. I have an inexplicable, almost unnatural love for Gorgonzola cheese. I put it on pizza, pasta, salad. LOVE IT. Maybe it's because it's one of the few foods I don't have to share. At least not with the kids, who run screaming when I say that's what I'm eating.
5. I. cannot. stand. Celine. Dion. No, seriously. I still have never seen Titanic because of her. She is quite possibly the most over-rated singer of all time. And she is weirder than weird. Ugh.
6. I don't understand hockey. And I REALLY don't understand why we have hockey in the South. It is a COLD sport, people. It's crazy that there is hockey in DALLAS, TEXAS of all places. When Dallas won the Stanley Cup a few years ago, I heralded it as the first sign of the apocalypse. Truly. It's that disturbing.
   
   THE RULES:
   
   Link to the person who tagged you.
   
   Post the rules on your blog.
   
   Write six random things about yourself.
   
   Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
   
   Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
   
   Let your tagger know when your blog entry is up.
   

So, since I have to tag six people, I guess it'll be....

OH HELL. You know I can't tag anyone. Everyone gets pissed at me when I tag them. If you want to do it, please, DO! And leave me a comment and let me know that you did. (Though, Faith, next time I have to do this, you are SO getting tagged back - love you!)

Why Bug is my favorite right now

Since my surgery, the boys have been all about gallbladders, the digestive system and just anatomy in general. So, last weekend, I bought them one of those science books about the human body with sections on muscles, nerves, different systems, the brain, skin, etc. And it has those cool overlays and really great descriptions and explanations of the various parts of the body. All three kids have been poring over it daily.

So, the other night, SD and I were looking through the book with them and they came to the section about the brain. We were talking about how different parts of the brain control different parts of the body and its functions. SD told them about how the front lobe controls personality and, essentially, about frontal lobotomies. How doctors do this (albeit RARELY) to "cure" sever mental/personality disorders.

Then SugarBug - totally seriously - says, "Is that what happened to you, Daddy?"

Perspective

You know, no matter how many lost wallets, extracted gall bladders, screaming kids, marital issues and other crap I have endured, never in all my days have I had to deal with what Lisa has had to deal with today. Never have I had to contemplate telling my children and everyone else that I love that I, most likely, am dying. AND? That while I am getting sicker and sicker I don't know how we will afford to put food on the table or a roof over our heads. It is a nightmare that I can't even let myself imagine. And yet, Lisa is living it. Right. now.

And to make things even more unbearable, someone is trying to take advantage of her situation to make himself look good. How is it that parasites like this are allowed to continue existing on this planet? Incomprehensible. And disgusting. That's what that is.

I apologize for every single time I have complained about my life. Because my life is amazing and comfortable and healthy and carefree and wonderful. I wouldn't trade this life or these people for anything in the world. So to those who might not be sure, know this: I love you. I appreciate you. I will not take any of you or any day God has given me for granted.

If there is any way you can help Lisa and her family through this, please try. Even if all you can afford is prayers, I'm sure that they would be welcome. Isn't that what we are all here for? To support each other?

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

ATTENTION ALL CANDYLAND HUSBANDS:

Four days until your wife's birthday. You still have time to get her a great gift! She has even made it SUPER EASY for you by putting her Wishpot wishlist in the sidebar over there ----->

Click on that or go to the site. Buy one of the many wonderful things she has expressed an interest in having. The sparkly, ones for the ears will get you lots of good karma. (If that's what the kids are calling it nowadays) (Not OUR kids....::shudder::)

Act now before it's too late!!!!!

(attention all IRL friends of Candyland. Help SugarDaddy out here & remind him. No excuses!)

(All the rest of you: Go check out Wishpot.com. It's a really, really cool way to get your wishlist going or keep track of those things you find on the interwebs and then wonder, Now where did I see that?)

How to make an ass of yourself for three days solid (A Step-By-Step Guide)

1. Go to get your haircut.
2. and one for your daughter.
3. When it's time to pay, realize that you must have left your wallet in the car.
4. Go look in car.
5. Realize that you must - for some unknown reason (probably those rotten boys) - have taken your wallet out at home and left it.
6. Go back in hair place, offer to leave daughter as collateral and run home (with daughter since the hair ladies are terribly trusting) and tear house apart (as well as car).
7. FREAK THE HELL OUT because you can't find your wallet.
8. Call CVS to see if you could have possibly left your wallet there when you went to get (yes, ashamedly) Hairstyle magazines.
9. FREAK OUT EVEN MORE because the lady says your wallet isn't there.
10. Dig out the credit card that you were going to stop using from the desk drawer so that you can go back and pay for the haircuts (which, incidentally, was possibly the worst haircut you have ever received and make note to self to never, ever get hair cut at "Kidz Kutz" ever again).
11. Consider very real possibility that some kid at the hair place took the wallet from your purse during the 29 seconds you turned your back to talk to lady cutting daughter's hair (which, incidentally was the most fantastic haircut ever - maybe THAT lady could cut your hair)
12. Pick boys up from kind friend's house and see if there is any chance that you took your purse in for the 5 minutes you were there dropping boys off and left your wallet.
13. Of course not.
14. Drag everyone home and bribe them all with $5 for who ever finds the wallet.
15. No dice.
16. Admit to husband that though yes, that very day, he escorted you to get a new military ID because you had lost yours just days before, you have now lost your wallet (containing new ID) and it was most likely stolen by some little hoodlum at Kidz Kutz.
17. Consider the very real possibility that the UNIVERSE IS FUCKING WITH YOU.
18. Wait for husband to come home and look for your wallet because he is always great at finding lost things.
19. Still. no. wallet.
20. Call all credit card companies to report stolen cards.
21. Call bank to report stolen ATM cards (yes there were 2)
22. Contact credit bureaus to flag your & husbands SSNs because they are on (brand freakin' new) military ID.
23. Realize that there was a $25 Old Navy gift card, $5 Starbucks card about $85 in cash in stolen wallet. Fucking hoodlum.
24. Realize that only good news is that drivers license was NOT in wallet because you'd had it out all week to get on base w/ the temp pass while husband was TDY (out of town).
25. Apologize to husband 900 times for losing wallet even though he is being very gracious and kind - which couldn't be easy for him - about the whole situation.
26. Sulk, bitch and moan all day Saturday about the little hoodlum who took your wallet even though you know that it won't do any good.
27. Go to Sunday School even though you're still feeling sore & crappy from surgery and grouchy about lost wallet.
28. Yell at children who ask for offering money because ALL OF MY MONEY WAS IN MY WALLET you foolish children!
29. Come home from Sunday School to discover a message on your voicemail from the manager at CVS.
30. Call and discover that your wallet was at CVS all this time, locked in the safe, but that the stupid girl that you AND husband talked to wouldn't even go to the trouble of asking her boss if a wallet was found.
31. Resist urge to curse stupid, stupid girl once you realize that if you had half a brain then you would have put the wallet in your purse and not left it on the counter by the register.
32. What the hell is wrong with you anyway?
33. Throw a big "I found my wallet" Party all day long. (Okay, that's an exaggeration. Perhaps what is closer to the truth is call your best friend and sing the "I found my wallet" happy song and make a total fool of yourself.)
34. Still believe that the universe was fucking with you because, COME ON.

A Poem for that "friend" who just won't go the hell away

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.

Just walk the other direction and get the fuck out of here already.

Geez, take a hint.

Deep Thoughts from SugarBear

I wasn't sure how to interpret this, but it was so sweet and awfully wise for a seven-year-old.


Mommy, I can't wait until I have grandkids.


You'll have to be a Daddy, first, Bear. You'll be such a good Daddy.


Yeah, but when I'm a Granddaddy I can really play with my grandkids and just have fun. That'll be good.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How sweet is this kid?!

Thanks to all of you for your prayers, comments, and nice emails. I'm getting better every day. Still pretty exhausted though. New post tomorrow...or sometime soon....

Happy Independence Day!

I shall go celebrate by taking a Vicodin and a nap.

Be safe all of you!

Home again, home again jiggety-OOMPH

Well, I am home and without gall bladder. I hurt like hell, but not anywhere NEAR as bad as I was afraid I'd feel, so at least there's that. I will tell you all about it later, but for now I am going to take some more drugs and lie down.

Thank you all for the prayers. I've no doubt that they helped unbelievably!

Hugs & kisses to you all!

Say a little prayer for me...

Well, it's official. I am going to the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow morning to have my gallbladder removed. I am a little anxious, but I'm so ready to have this over with that I'm just relieved. Maybe I'm just fooling myself though, because I have been queasy and irritable all day. I don't like letting myself get all spun up over things like this. I don't think I slept but maybe 2 hours last night. I'm hoping that will work in my favor tonight & I will be so exhausted that I'll just pass out. 5:45 is going to come early, no matter what.

That said, Holli's pictures today reminded me that I have wanted to share these pictures I took on Father's Day (after the water balloon fight) of this very tiny praying mantis. Seriously, he couldn't have been more than an inch long but he was just so dang cool. Getting the shots was kind of difficult because he was so tiny. My auto-focus kept focusing on the trees or the roof in the background. But if I turned off the auto-focus, I couldn't get him at all. I did manage a couple of cool shots though.

by this point the little guy had had enough & was trying to flee the paparazzi thing I had going on

So, if you don't mind, if you have minute on Thursday, take a cue from the tiny, little, green guy up there and say a quick prayer for me and my surgeon! Much appreciated!

Soon to be gall(bladder)-less

Okay, so I saw the surgeon today. I sat for over an hour in the waiting room and yes, I was a leeetle pissy about that. I may have posted a slightly nasty Twitter about that way. Yet minutes later, I was back in the exam room with the surgeon, all was forgiven.

I am officially declaring my love for Dr. Gallbladder.

She had already read my records and looked at my ultrasound (okay, this may not seem like a big deal to you, but realize that I am accustomed to the military health care system and...well, let's just say that, while there are some really great doctors, there are some truly, ridiculously clueless and horrible "physicians" who walk into the room and say "Hey how's it going?" Yes, I'm serious.) and came in prepared to to talk with me about my options. Which, pretty much "suck it up and deal with it" or "get that sucker outa there!"

She reviewed the function (and MALfuction) of the gallbladder and then went over the surgery veeerrry thoroughly. She actually answered the only question I had (after my over-researching it with Dr Google) and she left me feeling very confident and secure about this.

She asked when I was wanting to have it out. I told her the sooner the better. So? It looks like it should be Thursday. Yes, THIS Thursday. My own little Independence Day! Woo hoo!! (assuming the hospital and insurance all agree) (which is a HUGE assumption)

So, listen up you crappy malfunctioning little organ in there: Your days are numbered! Two to be exact. Say your good-byes because it's the end of the line for you, you pain causing jerk!!

(You realize I have totally jinxed myself and now this won't be out until sometime in November, right?)