Thursday, January 05, 2006

Happy Birthday SugarPlum!!

All my life I wanted to be a mommy. I contemplated careers - teacher, psychologist, nurse. But I always, always knew that I wanted to be mommy.

After I got married, we wisely waited a couple of years. But I was aching for a baby. SD was gone for several months in the second year of our marriage and we agreed that after he got back and we moved, we would start "trying." I was terrified that I would be infertile.

Fortunately, I come from fertile stock and I was pregnant within two months. I wanted a girl more than I cared to admit to anyone. When I finally got my twenty week ultrasound, the baby would not cooperate and show us if it was a girl or a boy. I was so frustrated.

Everyone who looked at me told me I was carrying I was "carrying like a boy." A friend called and said that she had a dream that I was having a boy. I had totally convinced myself that the baby was a boy, probably so that I wouldn't be disappointed when it wasn't a girl.

My due date was January 12. By Christmastime I was so over being pregnant. I was ready to have that baby and I was ready to have it NOW. Except that I needed to finish the nursery.

Finally, at 4 a.m. on January 4th I woke up having contractions. I called the hospital and they told me when to go in. SD and I called my parents to tell them that I was in labor and would likely have the baby that weekend. They were on the next plane to North Carolina.

And so I walked. And walked and walked and walked. When the contractions seemed to be about five minutes apart, SD took me to the hospital, which was tiny. The maternity ward had two labor rooms. The nurse checked me and I was dilated to two. How disappointing.

So she gave me a giant jug of water to drink and? I walked. And walked and walked and walked. I walked all the around the tiny hospital four times. then the nurse (who also happened to live in my neighborhood and be in the OWC with me) checked me again. I was now dilated to...two. Damn it.

So, they sent me home. And I cried. I was so disappointed. I got home, our friend brought my parents from the airport. I tried to sleep with little success. Finally, shortly after midnight, I told SD to take me to the hospital, that I wasn't going back. When we got there, I was dilated to three and a half. They had pity on me and let me stay. They called the midwife in and she approved the epidural. She will always be my hero. At about 2:00a.m. I got the epidural and immediately curled into a ball and went to sleep. Two hours later, the nurse came in and told me that my contractions had stopped and that they would have to discontinue my epidural. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

At that point, the midwife came in to check me and I was at....TEN! YAY!!! Time to push. Of course, by then, it was a shift change, and with all of the nurses being in OWC, I was the morning show. I had SD on one side, my mom on the other and the entire nursing staff sitting in the floor, watching.

After an hour and a half of pushing, the baby arrived. I was ready to meet my little boy. So when the midwife said, "It's a girl!" I asked, "Are you sure?!"

She laughed, "Yeah, I've been doing this for a while now. I almost never get it wrong!"

Oh, she was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid my eyes on. These lovely deep eyes that looked at me as if to say, "So there you are! I wondered what you looked like." I knew right then that she was an old soul. My Angel Girl.

From that moment, I couldn't even imagine my life before her in it. She was everything I had hoped for and dreamed of. She is the smartest, funniest, most spiritual, clever, joyful, loving child that has ever walked the earth.

Nine years ago today, my world changed. And I thank God every single day for that. I am the luckiest Mommy in the world.

I had a beautiful picture of my SugarPlum to put here but stupid Blogger won't upload it. I will try again later for now, look at all of the lovely ones in my Flickr sets!

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