Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Aren’t you glad that I left you with those questions for over a week? Did you memorize them and come up with answers in case there is a pop quiz over them one day soon?

Yes. I thought so. Because I know that legions of people come here every single day, several times a day just awaiting the precious drops of wit that pour from my fingertips. Heh.

I had no intention of taking an internet hiatus. As it turns out, Thanksgiving in Candyland did not work out, due to High School football play-offs, among other things. So, I packed up the SugarBabies and we came to my parents’ house for the holiday (actually, we went to my grandparents’ house on Thursday) and hung out there for the weekend. A good time was had by all.

Sort of.

I had forgotten that the internet at the old homestead is a bit wonky and, in fact, completely non-operative at this point. Had I realized that I might have stayed home. Okay, not really. But I might have planned my time a bit better. And possibly given someone the keys to Candyland so that they could guest post, or at least put something up for me. I have a few random things in the queue to be put up when I am at a loss for what to post. As it is, I was stuck with no internets and no blogs to read. Which forced me to (gasp!) actually read some BOOKS and even interact with other live human beings. It took a little getting used to, but I figured it out, eventually.

I wasn’t exactly brokenhearted over the family ditching me for the holiday. The task of cleaning my landfill house was becoming more daunting by the minute. This probably has a lot to do with the oh-so-tenuous grip that I have on my sanity at this point. I will write about this later as it might send me over the edge at this point to even discuss it. Suffice to say that there were moments Wednesday when we all questioned whether Mommy would be able to pull it together enough to finish packing and make the drive to Gray Gray and Gram’s house. Much less survive the weekend without strangling anyone in his or her sleep. (Names left out to protect my ass the innocent.)

Thanksgiving itself was a very nice day. I got to see my cousin who was the cute little flower girl at my wedding and is now a drop-dead-gorgeous 18-year-old senior in high school. She is just beautiful inside and out and I really enjoy every minute I get to spend with her. Also there was her brother, the devastatingly handsome 16-year-old high school quarterback who led his team to another playoff victory this weekend. Go Panthers! The SugarBabies think that these two relatives are the creme-de-la-creme of the human race. And I tend to agree. Our family certainly did well when we dipped into the gene pool! These two great kids took my SugarBabies to the park and entertained them for hours. Then the QB sat and watched the kids while they picked cotton left in the field next to my grandparents' house. The kids thought that they were in heaven. So did I! Aaaaaanyway, it was a nice, relaxing Thanksgiving with a whole family to keep an eye on the kids and give me some time "off."

I also got to spend some more time with one of my very favorite newlyweds, CRB, and even got to see one of our wonderful high school friends (the cutest boy in choir) Matt, and his partner, Andy. We had lots of good silliness and great conversation. We always do when we are together. I was hoping that I would also get to see our friend ARR, but her sweet kiddos celebrated their birthday this weekend, so her priorities (rightly so) remained elsewhere. (That's okay, there's always Christmas, sweetie!)

I got to spend time with Mr. & Mrs. Jackalord at her parents’ new home. The kids loved that, as there are animals and other kids there. Woo hoo! My boys enjoyed watching the "big boys" have a paintball war. I enjoyed relaxing and having some adult conversation!

Eventually, though, it was time for us to return to Candyland. My mom was a saint and let me sleep in on Sunday so that I would be able to drive without killing us all. We made it home in time for to make pizza and watch a couple of episodes of Zoboomafoo before bedtime. Shortly thereafter, I continued my unraveling process. Thank heaven SD gets home in 16 days. It can't come a moment too soon!

Happy Christmastime!!!!!!!

Questions for my children.....

The following are some questions to which I realize I will never get the answers. I'll let you figure out which child (or children) I am referring to in each question....

• Why is it so HI-larious every. single. time. to make a pssssssssss sound and gesture like you are peeing?
• Why must you color on at least one wall in each room of our house?
• When, exactly will you start going to the bathroom?
• Will you flush when you do?
• What, exactly, is it about meatloaf that makes you cry?
• Why is it that when one of you is "so hot, I'm gonna die," the other two are "fweezing!?" Or vice/versa.
• Do you really think that someday, I will cave and let you eat candy for breakfast?
• Why do you throw a fit and act like you've been abandoned every time I leave you with your grandparents for a few hours, yet have no issues whatsoever (other than not being able to get rid of me quickly enough) when I leave you with a babysitter? Do you find the subsequent guilt trips Mommy receives from Gram amusing?
• And while we're on that subject...why do you go to bed so much better for the sitter than you EVER do for me?
• How do you know the exact right moment to kiss me and say "I yove you" so as to avoid certain death?
• How did I get so lucky to be blessed with the three smartest, sweetest, most beautiful and well behaved children in the whole world?

Much ado about...puke

I had a PC show last Thursday night. It was a wedding shower for a girl at my church who is marrying a young fighter pilot and moving to Arizona, at least temporarily. (I mean living in AZ temporarily, not being married temporarily. I am confident that this union will last!)

Back to the point, please, Buffi...

So, I was running late when the babysitter got here. Miss A is a really sweet college student from my church. She helps out in SugarPlum's GA's meetings and with Bear's stuff as well. My kids love her. She is a Jr. at the local University and she is a biology major.

Blah, blah, blah....The point, Buffi, PLEASE, get to the point!
By the time I got to the show, I had less than half an hour to prep and set up. Five minutes before the show was scheduled to start, I get a phone call form Miss A. Bear had thrown up in the kitchen. And, she tells me, "I just don't do throw up. I'll stay here until you can get here (well, I should hope so!) but I just can't clean that up." Then she calls me back to assure me that Bear is fine, she just need me to come clean up the puke. GAH!!!!!

I got home, Bear and the others are at the table making play-doh (and a HUGE mess). I grabbed the dust pan, scoop up the little bit of vomit from the kitchen floor, throw nastiness - including dustpan - out, check on Bear (he was indeed fine), make a crack about how I can't believe that A is a biology major if she can't handle a little puke, and head back to the shower. By this time, one of the hostesses has taken over the prep work for me, thank goodness! But I was so flustered and off my game by then, I was just a disaster. I can't believe anybody ordered anything!

I had decided that I was really going to be pissed. I mean, I had to, essentially, come home from work to clean up a little mess. I'm sure glad Bug didn't poop in his pants or anything! Then I got home and the kids were all asleep and A was sweeping the kitchen floor, had cleaned up all of the play-doh mess (after she had let them make cool sculptures with their play-doh and then baked them so that they would harden and be permanent!), AND picked up the toys and dirty clothes in the living room. Then she told me how great my kids are and what big imaginations they have. Then we visited for a long time about people we both knew from the town where she grew up and a bunch of other stuff. And I decided that I couldn't hate her because, all in all, she is a pretty damn good babysitter.

I just have to hope that nobody pukes next time.

I should be doing something else right now....

I am actively procrastinating right now. I have a PC show tomorrow morning and I need to wash dishes, get products ready, prep ingredients, assemble folders with order forms, catalogs, etc. I have done none of that. My hostess for tomorrow just called to tell me that she is expecting only two guests, so I guess that my motivation is out the window. I'm not mad or anything. One girl has sick kids, another one was informed that she has to be at work earlier than she originally expected and other stuff like that. These things happen. Hell, they happen to ME! She asked if I wanted to push the show back a few weeks. I am tempted. But I don't want her to think that I am being pissy or anything.

Also, my extended family has decided that now that I have the biggest house, that they will make the 3 + hour drive to Candyland for Thanksgiving next week. That's a minimum of 14 people here to inspect my home for the slightest bit of dust spend quality time with my kids and each other. I really ought to, oh, I don't know...finish unpacking, dust, sweep the floors, mop the kitchen, fold the laundry, clean the bathrooms, organize the linen closet, write a novel, compose a symphony, and/or win the lottery so that I can pay someone to do all of that for me.

But, no. I am blogging. Because that requires very little physical effort on my part. Which is a good thing.

***UPDATE***

I'm not sure what the heck was wrong with Blogger last night, but it wouldn't let me post this.

So the post-script to the whole PC story is that I cancelled it this morning after all. SugarPlum had a really bad migraine and decided to go back to bed. So I called my hostess (with the mostess...only not so much I suppose) to cancel so that I could be home to take care of SP. Long story short (HA!), SP wakes up at about 9:15 saying that she feels much better and she's ready to go to school. Heh. Soooo, I get everyone to school, come home and? clean house? No. Take a nap of course. I am exhausted. or lazy. Don't tell me your opinion of which.

Another rant about the schools...

Let me begin by saying that I do love and adore my children's schools, teachers and the school district. The schools here were one of the big reasons I wanted to come back. They work to meet the needs of every child, at whatever level that child may be. There are so many great things about the Candyland ISD, I could go on and on.

That said....

I just don't believe that they think things through completely. First there was the Thank You Note fiasco, and now with Election Day here, yes, I have gotten my panties in a wad again. Our district has put before the voters, for the third or fourth time in the past several years, a school bond proposal. These have been voted down consistently in the past. Mostly, in my opinion, because they were unrealistic in what they promised to do with the voters' money. The schools are all in need of many things, but some of the promises were just not going to happen. And everybody knew it, so they said "No."

This year, the school board and planning committee were actually smart and looked at what could and should be done for a reasonable amount of money. I think, I hope, that the bond issue will pass. For no other reason than the schools have been cramming it down our throats since Meet the Teacher Night in August.

I swear, they have sent home some stinkin' piece of paper about this bond issue every week, either promoting it or "reminding" parents to vote. Then last week, both of the kids got in the car with this little card in their, hands shouting, "Mommy! You need to go vote!!" Seems that if you go vote with your parents, you can get your card stamped and then you get some free ice cream or something at Sonic.

The SugarBabies were less than pleased when I reminded them that I already voted. By mail. I don't vote here in Candyland. SD and I are registered to vote in my hometown, which is our military "home of record." We figure that we have never lived anywhere long enough to see the fruits of our voting in that place, but that we can vote to benefit and take care of my parents. I take my right to vote very seriously and fill in my ballot as soon as it comes in the mail. I have since college, the very first time I was eligible to vote. Once we are settled somewhere for good (the sooner the better, I say), we will register and vote in that place. I told the kids I would take them to Sonic next week after the election anyway and buy them a slushie.

Then I got to thinking (no, I didn't hurt myself too badly) that this is a really big military town and I can't be the only parent who votes by mail. Most people I know vote in their home of record for the same reasons I do. And then what about the kids whose parents, for whatever reason, can't vote? It's been a big deal, evidently, to go to school and show off the stamp on your hand (I guess they stamp the card AND your hand?) from going to vote with your mom or dad or whomever. I am just seeing this as another case of singling out the kids who are different. My kids, after the first five minutes, really didn't care. SugarPlum has been telling people, "Oh, well, my mom voted by mail weeks ago!" She sat there and watched me and we talked about it while I filled in the ballot. (Like why I was reluctant to vote for Gov. Good-Hair) She was a little disappointed that they didn't send the little, tiny pencils that they used to put in the ballots. She could make one of those things last for weeks! She remembers what a big deal it is to me.

But what about the kids who don't have the over-abundance of self-confidence that SP has? Here is just one more thing to make then feel bad about themselves and their family. I'm all for "get out the vote" campaigns and I believe that if you don't make the effort to vote, then you need to shut up. You don't get to have an opinion if you choose not to express it at the ballot box. Especially here in Texas!! where there is no excuse not to vote. You have the opportunity to register to vote just about everywhere and you can go to Early Voting at the MALL, for crying out loud. But please don't take it out on my kids or anybody else's kids if the parents can't vote or won't vote or whatever. It's just to tough to be a kid now as it is. Don't make it any tougher!

Now, you there! GO VOTE!! And then I'll take you to Sonic. Honest.

/rant

100,000 reasons why I am a crappy wife

1. Today is my husband's birthday and what did I manage to send him while he is all alone in Turkey? NOTHING that's what. Not a present. Not a card. Not. a. damn. thing. I suck.

2 - 100, 000. See above


So, what I am sending him (I hope) is a bunch of people over to his blog to tell him Happy Birthday. Please people, help me assuage my guilt a little, k?


I love you SD!!!! And I'm soooo sorry. Happy Birthday! (can you forgive me??)