Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
I was going to go to bed, but I can't sleep. After Friday night's "festivities," I ended up staying in bed until 2:30. Yes, p.m. Trust me, it was a good thing. Yesterday was a little dicey altogether. SugarDaddy came through like a champ, taking care of me & letting me sleep.
He was installing a light kit on the boys' ceiling fan yesterday at about noon. Bug was making it very clear that he was ready for a nap, so I went and brought him in to snuggle me until SD was done. He quickly fell asleep with me, so I went with it and went back to sleep. I love sleeping with my babies!
Yesterday afternoon and evening are a bit blurry. We were going to do pizza and movie night, but the boys were just soooooooo out of control (read: ripped curtains!) that I nixed the movie. No need to reward that kind of behavior.
SD wanted to keep the kids up later to maybe get them off of Daylight Savings Time. But, by 8:00, the boys were an even bigger disaster & I had to get everyone to bed before things got ugly.
Hungover Mommy + Over tired kids = Bad News
Fast Forward to this morning. SugarBug woke up at his normal time of 6:45, which is now 5:45. SD was a saint and got up with him again. You see why I married this man??
By the time we got ready for church, the boys were already cranky. Bug was downright pissy. I was thinking that we might just stay for Sunday School & skip the service. Bear was telling me he had a headache in the car. Bug fell asleep on the way to church. Oh, and he was soooo pleased to be woken up and left in the nursery once we got there.
I finally got him calmed down and into his room. I mentioned that he was having trouble with the time change. The nursery lady says, "Why? He got to sleep an extra hour!"
Am I the only mommy whose two-year-old doesn't wear a watch? Whatevah.
Bear & SugarPlum decided that they wanted to stay for church. So, I took Bug home for naps and went back to fetch them. Then I had a nap with Bear. Yes, I nap every day. You think I'm kidding. (They think I'm kidding, honey!)
WOW! That was a long way to lead up to say that I should not be on the computer right now. I said I was staying up to start reading this book that I was asked to review. And it looks like a fantastic book. I got it on Friday afternoon. I planned on reading all weekend, but....
So I was going to at least start it tonight. Only now I can't find it. And I could really use The MomsTown Guide to Getting it All. See, I actually seem to have it all. It is just crammed into various undisclosed locations throughout my cluttered home.
Devil's Food Cookies
1 box (18 1/4 ounces) devil's food cake mix
2 eggs 1/4 cup hot coffee or hot water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup semisweet chocolate pieces
1 cup chopped pecans
3/4 cup bits of chocolate-toffee candy
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine cake mix, eggs, coffee, oil and flour in large bowl. Beat on low speed until all ingredients are moistened; then beat on high speed for 2 minutes. Dough will be sticky. Fold in chocolate pieces, pecans and candy until evenly distributed. Using about half of the batter, drop by heaping tablespoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheet, spacing 2 inches apart.
Bake for 12 to 14 minutes. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet on a wire rack for 4 to 5 minutes or until firm. With a metal spatula, transfer the cookies to the wire rack to cool. Repeat with the remaining batter. Serve slightly warm or store in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Too much vodka.....
Not enough food......
Up close & personal with toilet....
Talk to you tomorrow....
Thursday, October 27, 2005
1. I don't know how I lucked out, but I didn't have to buy any Halloween costumes this year!
2. Bear is going to be a fighter pilot like his Daddy and we have had flight suits for all of them for a long time.
3. Bug is a dinosaur, using Bear's old costume from a couple of years ago. He wantd to be a "scawy monstah," but I talked up the dinosaur until he gave in!
4 And SugarPlum, who was going to be Hermione like her verybestfriendinthewholewideworld, The Princess, has decided instead to reuse her Statue of Liberty costume from two years ago. She doesn't want to take a chance that someone else will have the same costume! I can't believe that worked out!
5. SD and I have a costume party tomorrow night. I think I will wear MY flight suit. I even have a nametag with my call sign, Slayer. I may tramp it up a bit, tho, with a lacy black camisole underneath and spiked heels.
6. I was Betty Crocker today. I cooked homemade cream of chicken soup for lunch using leftover smothered chicken. The boys were in heaven. And then I put dinner in the crockpot so that I wouldn't be behind later. I am rarely this together.
7. AND? Before naptime, I even cleaned up the mess from making the soup for lunch & starting dinner. PLUS I remembered to run the dishwasher.
8. I'm afraid SD may have a stroke when he sees it.
9. We finally received notification about SugarPlum's testing for the Gifted and Talented program. She tested as having "Superior Cognitive Ability." The girl is freaky smart. I have been a little concerned about her getting bored, so I'm glad she will receive some enrichment, although it is only two days a month.
10. SugarBear's school had picture day yesterday- and yes I got it right! They were also allowing siblings to get photos done, so I took Bug. This is the first studio pictures he has ever had done. He's two and a half. I'm going to hell.
11. I am exhausted. The boys haven't been sleeping well at night. Last night, I heard noise up there and Bear was up playing. It was after 10:00. Then Bug was up several times. I lost count. *yawn*
12. I have settled in to going to the gym on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I ride the bike and walk on the treadmill. (I tried the elliptical machine. For 30 seconds. That thing is from the devil.) I bought a Pilates kit & plan on doing it on Tuesdays & Thursdays. We'll see.
13. SugarDaddy won the Husband of the Month award yesterday when he gave me my Christmas present early. An iPod Nano. He even had my name engraved on it. This way I have something to listen to at the gym. He's pretty great. I think I'll keep him!!
2. Get the Thursday Thirteen Code Here!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
Lbt's grandmother had been very ill and she had been driving back home (about two hours) every chance she got. This particular weekend, I wasn't expecting her back until Monday afternoon. On Sunday night, very late, like after midnight, I was up studying (Yes, I was too. Shut up. It's my story.) and heard a key in the door. I thought that was odd, but that maybe Lbt got fed up with with her mom & came back early. I knew that I had locked the keyless deadbolt, so I went to unlock it for her.
Something told me to look through the peephole first. I looked and all I could see was the top of someone's head. I could hear someone breathing heavily and trying to get the key to work in the door. Lbt's bedroom was right next to the front door, so I went in there and gingerly peeped through the blinds. I could see a man leaning against the door, trying to get it open.
I. freaked. out.
I was certain that it was some psychopathic maintenance man bent on raping and killing me. How else would he have a key? I was trying to comfort myself with the fact that the keyless deadbolt was locked, but I was terrified that he would break Lbt's bedroom window & come in that way.
He started pulling back & forth on the doorknob and was obviously frustrated. I ran as quickly and quietly as I could back to my bedroom and shut and locked the door. I called 911 said that a man was trying to break into my apartment. She asked for the address and where in the complex I was. She told me that the police were en route and to stay on the line with her. I was a basket case. The guy kept pulling the door back and forth, like it would come open. Then he would beat on it. I would scream every time he did and the 911 lady would talk me through it. She was great. Very soothing.
Five hours later-okay probably five minutes, but it seemed like forever- the operator told me that the police were in the complex and then at my door. They had the guy. She told me to put the phone down, not hang it up (not a cordless) and go open the door for the police. She told me to come back and tell her that the police were with me before I hung up.
I opened the door and saw the guy. He was my next door neighbor - drunk off his ass and handcuffed. The police took him and one officer came inside to talk to me. He took my statement and asked if there was anybody I wanted to call. I called my parents, they live in the same town where I went to college, and they said they would be right over. The officer said he would sit with me until my folks got there.
That's when the adrenaline really hit me. I looked at my living room and what a mess it was. Crap! My parents were on the way over! I started cleaning up, maniacally throwing pizza boxes, Diet Coke cans, newspapers, etc out. The policeman watched me like I was insane!
When my mom & dad got there, the police officer left. I fell into my Daddy's arms and cried like a baby. Then I apologized for waking them up and making them come over. Of course they told me I didn't have to apologize. Seems like I went back home with them that night.
A few days later, I saw my neighbor, who had always seemed like a friendly, normal guy. He. was. horrified. He apologized profusely. He said that he had been out drinking, got home & forgot where he lived. When you walked up the stairs, our apartment was on the right, theirs on the left. He had lived in one of the right at some point in the past. So when he got home, he went the wrong way. He remembers being really pissed that the his key wasn't working and the door wouldn't open. He said that he was charged with Public Intoxication and that he wouldn't blame me if I hated him forever.
Of course I forgave him. He was a nice enough guy. He always looked a little sheepish whenever I saw him after that.
AND, I always, always locked that keyless deadbolt at night!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Now to today's recipe. It is one I got from a friend while we lived in England. She made it for me after Bear was born. She made me swear to never make it for a squadron function until after one of us moved because it was "her" specialty. I obliged. It is absolutely fantastic. One friend of ours always volunteered to do the dishes when this was served at a party. We wondered what on earth that was all about until one night we went in the kitchen and found him scraping the bowl to get the remnants.
One more funny story before I share the recipe. I made this one 4th of July when my parents and The Queen's in-laws were visiting. Her father-in-law has a major aversion to bananas (you really don't want to know...). When it was time for dessert he said he didn't want any after seeing it. I assured him that there were no bananas in it and he told me, "There are two things I don't eat. Bananas and whatever that is!" We finally got him to try it & he couldn't get enough. He tried to take all of the leftovers home with him, even though they were flying back to the States in the morning!
Now, for the recipe.....
Saturday, October 22, 2005
I have a favor to ask all of you, my wonderful friends of the blogosphere. My cousin, Julie has two beautiful, sweet (sometimes ornery!) little girls. Dailee is seven years old and her sister, Darcee, is four, one day older than Bear!
Last week, Dailee went to the hospital with what they thought was an abscess on her tonsil. What it actually was was a tumor in her neck the size of a fist. By Friday, she had been diagnosed with a rare, very aggressive form of cancer called Burkitt's Lymphoma. She had been given steroids when they thought it was an abscess (to reduce swelling) which unfortunately can serve to mask cancer cells in any biopsy or samples taken. Due to the aggressive nature of this disease, the Doctors have decided to treat her as if her cancer were stage four. Last Sunday, she began chemotherapy. She received it every day for four days. On the fifth day, they flushed her system with fluids to make sure her kidneys were functioning properly. Since they were, she was able to go home Friday. She will have to get shots every day, to keep her white blood cell count up (and she is not pleased about this!). She will have to go back on day eleven for another spinal tap and then return on day 18 to start the process all over. This will continue for six months. (I hope I got all of that right, if not, Julie, let me know!)
She is seven years old. I cannot fathom having to tell one of my kids that we have to go back and do all of that painful stuff that makes you feel miserable again. And again. And again. Julie says that Dailee is doing okay, all things considered. She has started some nausea and headaches since returning home. She is really upset that her hair is going to fall out. She also won't get to return to the first grade this year. She will have a home bound teacher and her school teacher is trying to make it to where she can do that.
So there you have it. I am asking you to keep Dailee and Julie and their whole family in your thoughts and prayers. Pray for healing and comfort for Dailee. Pray for peace and strength and comfort for Julie, her husband and Darcee. Pray that they can meet their finances since Julie is taking Catastrophic leave from her job, which is unpaid. I'm sure that this is a burden for them as well.
Now, go hug your kids a little tighter. Give them an extra kiss and be thankful that they are healthy enough to drive you absolutely crazy! That is what I have had to do the past few days.
God is good, all the time. He answers prayers. Thank you all so much for your love and support.
Friday, October 21, 2005
The one she forgot.
She called about it and I couldn't find it. So, you know it's MY fault.
Do not be alarmed.
Just please bring in any small pets and perhaps cover your plants to prevent them from wilting. Anyone in or near the Miami River Valley might be wise to tape your windows to prevent breakage.
That is all.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Bear: Now I want to go to Daddy's toy store to see that big remote control dinosaur!
Me: Daddy's toy store? What's that?
Bear: Best Buy!!
This answers so many questions.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
*Dakota Fanning is on Leno. She has to be one of my favorite kid actresses. She totally reminds me of The Princess. I really hope that she doesn't go all Lindsay Lohan on us in a few years. That would break my heart.
*Why is it that the same kids who make you want to rip your ovaries out so that you can't make THAT mistake again, can make you weep just by saying, "I yove you, Mommy."
*Tom & Katie are buying a house in Toledo. Toledo? That's a little too close for me. But, really. Toledo??
*Wonder if Genuine won the PowerBall. I never bought a ticket this time. Dang, that's a lot of money.
*Saddam Hussein is on trial. They need Judge Judy. She'd kick his ass.
*Is it just me, or have Blogger word verifications gotten seriously out of hand?
*I try to like Conan O"Brian. I really do. But most of the time he just drives me nuts.
*Why won't I just go to bed?? This is insane. Good night.
So, if you have any knowledge about these things, I'd really appreciate the input. Time for naps now tho. I think I'll join them!
Monday, October 17, 2005
This afternoon though, on two separate occasions, I achieved the goal most mommies only dream of.
I had all three kids screaming, crying, and throwing fits at the same time!! And? Over three different things!!
Then? While Bug was in a time out for hitting, I told him he had better sit the hell back down or he would get a spanking. Because that makes sense. Right? To get a spanking for hitting?
I'm so proud. I now must pick out an evening gown to wear to the awards ceremony.
Cori's comment made me realize that I need to clarify that yes, I do indeed deserve the award. I made all three kids cry within a space of ohhh, say 45 seconds.
First, I made SugarPlum redo the math homework that her teacher sent back & said to redo. Totally unreasonable, I understand.
Next, I wouldn't let Bear keep the rope all to himself. He had to share. This is just much too involved to explain, honestly.
Finally, I would not let Bug type "W" endlessly on my laptop while I was trying to do the fabled Brownie corn maze post. (Still working on that, really)
Later, both boys were crying because they got time outs for trying to beat the living crap out of each other (thus, the quote that might just bring SuperNanny to my house). And, SugarPlum was pissed about something, I can't even remember what. Probably just because her mom is such a total dork. What will I do when she is a teenager?
So, you see, I AM the greatest. Bow down and worship at my awesome Mommyness. Now, or I'll put you in a time out, as well.
As for the gown, I'm torn between Vera Wang and Kathie Lee. What do you think?
**Bonus teaser quote from the Brownie trip: "What color's my butt?"
Sunday, October 16, 2005
So, today I found a recipe that is close to what I make, because, honestly this is one that I make up as I go along. It is a warm, cozy meal on a cold winter day. One of my favorites!
Melt 1 stick of butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion, carrot, celery, and garlic, and saute for 2 minutes. Add the flour and stir to make a roux. Cook until the roux is lightly browned; set aside to cool to room temperature.
Meanwhile, combine the corn and chicken stock in another saucepan, and bring to a boil. Simmer for 10 minutes. Pour the boiling stock with the corn (a little at a time) into the saucepan with the roux, whisking briskly so it doesn't lump. Return the skillet to the heat and bring to a boil. The mixture should become very thick.
In a small saucepan, gently heat the half-and-half; stir it into the thick corn mixture. Add the nutmeg and salt and pepper, to taste. Just before serving, cut the remaining stick of butter into large chunks. Add it to enrich the soup, stirring until the butter melts.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
So, tonight I am watching my Tivo'd episode of SuperNanny [sidenote: Did you see this episode? That bratty little girl, hitting, scratching, biting! her parents!! That would happen once at my house. Holy crap!] and by the time it's done it is almost 11:30. No problem. I put the television on the channel I watch for news, knowing that I can back it up and watch the news. Well, I switch back over to live TV, expecting to see the face of my friendly neighborhood sportscaster. What do I see? NASCAR. You heard me, NASCAR, people!
Now, I have no ill feelings for NASCAR. Until it makes me miss the news. Now, it's too late to switch to another channel, because all of the other newscasts are nearly over. So I sit here, thinking that surely it will be over in a couple of minutes.
No, it was an HOUR later that the Missmynews 500 was finally over. I was committed at this point, I was watching the damn news.
So what is going on in the world? Not much, as it turns out.
What the HECK is "Sweetest Day??"
Sounds an awful lot like a "holiday" made up by the florists and greeting card industry to guilt money out of the men of the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for presents and flowers from my sweetheart, but this is just awfully contrived.
So, honey, save your money for Christmas. I have assembled quite a sizable list for you to choose from and I'd hate to cut into any real holiday spending with this useless "holiday."
Cynical? Why yes...a bit!
Friday, October 14, 2005
I could tell you about the very first meal I ever cooked when I was about nine years old. Tuna Surprise. Surprise! It was n-a-s-t-y. But my Daddy ate every bite on his plate.
I could tell you about the time I was making Vodka Rigatoni and almost set the kitchen on fire. (Bacon grease+flame+vodka=fire...just so you know)
I could tell you about the time, just a few weeks into my marriage, I decided to make chicken pot pie from scratch - crust and all. And ended up with flour all. over. the. kitchen. Pillsbury is my friend.
But what I will tell you about is the infamous Chicken Sopa incident. SugarDaddy loves to tell this story.
SD was in pilot training when we started dating. We lived three and a half hours apart and would see each other most weekends. This particular weekend, I went to his apartment. They must have been flying on a Saturday, which they did when they got behind. I decided to make one of my favorite meals of my mom's, Chicken Sopa. It is really more like chicken enchilada casserole. I hadn't cooked many meals for him. As it happened, my good friend Hos (who happens to be the husband of my good friend, Lbt, they were also dating at the time.) was also in training there. So I invited him over to SD's apartment to have supper with us.
Well, this recipe calls for chicken, tortillas, and enchilada sauce, among other things. I was cooking along and everything looked and smelled yummy. The guys had told me when they would be home. Well, that time came and went and the casserole began to cook down and sort of solidify, so I added more sauce, which then needed more tortillas...and this went on for some time. The guys ended up being like three hours late. And the chicken sopa had grown to fill a stock pot. It was a big orange gloppy mess. It still tasted okay, but the texture was all wrong. Sort of the consistency of canned dog food. Yummy. They guys were nice at first. They ate politely. Then, when it was obvious that we had lots and LOTS of leftovers, I made Hos take some home with him. He threw it away, he told me later. SD never ate any of the leftovers either.
This has become legend in our house. I have made it since, but SD always has to give me a hard time about it. I am a really good cook, if I do say so myself. I enjoy cooking and experimenting with recipes. SD brags bout my cooking all the time. But I will never, ever, live down Chicken Sopa.
Read this question, come up with an answer and then go to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?[Give this some thought before you answer]
Answer: She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you. If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my email list, unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
And, just to make you laugh a little harder...when I picked the background? I went with amber. Not gray. (Do you hear that? It's my husband laughing) I think it will look better with the turquoise top.
Now, to the meme.
A couple of months ago, several of you wonderful folks tagged me with various memes. I was going to be so happy to do them. Unfortunately, that was in the midst of the hurricane stress and I never got around to doing them. So, I apologize to you for not doing them.
Today Marti of Digital Doorway (which is so very funny, you should really check her out!) tagged me with this one. Since
So....here's the rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same. (see, not gonna do that!)
So, this is from a very short post on July 12, called "It's Tragic Really..."
"I'm just a little too blonde for my own good sometimes"
*ain't it the truth*
This morning, she came in to snuggle me after her alarm went off and took it as a good sign that her favorite song was playing when as she woke up. Then, she went downstairs without argument so that she could eat breakfast and still have plenty of time to get ready for school pictures.
SugarDaddy came up at about 7:00 to wake me for the morning (yes, he gets up with the kidlets and fixes them breakfast so that I can sleep in a little. I married well.). He told me that by some miracle, SP was already dressed and had eaten breakfast and it wasn't even 7:15. Feeling very smug and self-satisfied, I went downstairs to fix her hair for the pictures. I should have stayed in bed.
The actual fixing of the hair went well. Which is a miracle in itself, because at least three days a week, the fixing of the hair results in tears from one or both of us.
But then, "Mommy, did you fix my lunch?" Oh, crap! Today is the dreaded "Travelling Taco!" (don't even ask, you don't want to know).
"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, I forgot. Do you want me to fix something real quick for you?"
"No, that's okay, Mommy. I can just get PB&J."
Great, now I am going to pay a buck seventy-five for PB&J. ::sigh::
"You look so pretty today. You picture is going to be so good!"
Sudden thought: Oh, man! I never sent the picture form. Where is that thing? Here on the desk right??? Son of a bitch! What did I do with that??
"SugarPlum. Do you remember where we put that order form?"
"No, Momm...Oh no! I won't get my picture taken! Then I won't be in the yearbook! And I will be the only one!!"
"No, it's okay, go on to school, it's getting late. I will have Daddy bring it when he goes to work in a few minutes. And, if we can't find it, he can get a new one in the office. It will be fine. I promise."
Get her out the door, look for another minute for picture form, give up, find SD.
"Hey, honey....could you stop by SP's school and fill out another picture form and pay for them? Pick the most basic package & either the gray or blue background." (trying to give him more control, I've had issues with that lately)
"Which do you want? Gray or blue?"
"Oh, whichever. (gray...gray...pick gray, please) You decide which would look better. (seriously, gray is the best choice, you know that don't you??)"
SD gets out the door and heads to school. A few moments later, the phone rings. How hard is this? Gray or blue and pay for it!! "Hello?"
"Got the package. School pictures are tomorrow."
**of course they are**
Monday, October 10, 2005
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
This blogger had the exact same age as the girl's youngest two kids. And she parented much like the girl did. And she had many, many (so, so, many) of the same idiosynchrosies that the girl had. AND they were taking the same drug for PPD. (See, the girl thought that was unusual until she started reading even more Mommy blogs.) One day, after the girl got brave and left a comment at this blog, the blogger wrote her back. NO WAY! That was amazing. And the blogger and the girl wrote back and forth several times a day. And them they started IMing. Then as their lives began to spin put of control at the same time, they started taking on the phone. It was such a lifeline to the girl. This blogger became one of her best friends. The
Finally the girl decided that she would be very, very brave and start her own blog. So the blogger sat on the phone at midnight, while the girl set up her own blog. Then she was available for the girl's constant questions about Blogger, Haloscan, and Blogrolling and HTML and all things blog related.
Now, TODAY is the first Blogiversary of my very best Blog Friend, Christine of Mommy Matters. She is such an amazing writer. She has had a rough year and has shared it with us with style and grace. Of course most of you know this because you are here because of her! So head over there and wish her a happy blogiversary. And if you haven't ever been there, dig into her archives because there is so much wonderful stuff there you will not want to leave.
Christine, Happy One Year!! I hope and pray that there are many, many more to come. Thanks for pulling me through one of the toughest, craziest years of my life. You will forever be my Fairy Blogmother!
PS It is also the Blogiversary of another of my good friends, Ammie, better known as Sleeping Mommy, who is responsible for the rest of you being here! Tiptoe over to her new site and help her celebrate as well. But be quiet, she's had a rough week and needs her sleep!
Friday, October 07, 2005
I am putting all grandparents on notice. Anyone contemplating purchasing one of these satanic devices for one of MY children will never be welcome in my home again. Ever.
You think I'm joking, don't you?
*note: to get the full effect you must imagine stomping, screaming and doors slamming**
She hates me.
She really really hates me.
She means it.
She hates me forever and she will never love me again.
**My work here is done**
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Yes, I am aware of the Google searches this will turn up in and I am prepared to deal with the consequences
I did it. I finally went to the gym yesterday. I mentioned in my 100 Things post that SD had signed us up at the Y. That was my idea. See, since moving to the great white North (she says as she sits here in shorts looking at a forecast that says the high today will be 80. In October. In Ohio. That's messed up.), I have put on a good 25 pounds. That's 25 in less than four months, folks. That's just not healthy. I blame Ohio. (Not the Dove Ice Cream bars or the Nacho Cheese Doritos) Ohio makes you fat. You heard it here first.
Soooo, after a couple of days of procrastination, in which I went to Target to buy workout clothes (because I couldn't possibly let all of those old people see me in old, ratty sweats), then had to leave them there, because I had no credit cards with me, then being sick Tuesday....I finally bit the bullet and went to the gym yesterday. Put some old Reebok running pants (guess how many times I have run in them) and my sneakers. Dropped Bear off at the "Monty-Sorree" school (his pronunciation) and headed to the good old YMCA. (cue the Village People)
As Bug and I walked toward the doors, two big ol' ducks crossed our path, quacking and chattering like an old married couple. Bug wanted to stay out front and watch them. So did I. BUT we are paying for this now and so in we went.
I dropped him off in the nursery and he was tickled. No separation anxiety for that kid. They take the kids' pictures their first time, and you hang it up when they are there. I noticed that most of the other kids are sitting in their moms' laps looking a little anxious in their photos. Not Bug. There were NEW TOYS there. Wheee! When I went to kiss him goodbye, he gave me that "Oh, you're still here?" look. So off I went.
I stopped at the front desk to ask for directions to the locker room and gym. I could see the pool and the water aerobics class going. It seems that class has an age limit to join. I'm not there yet. The lady at the desk handed me a couple of towels and a key. "You will have locker 227 today." So I head down the long hall toward the locker rooms. I finally see a door that says, "Women's Locker Room. Over 18 only please." I go in and look for my locker.
Only there is no 227. These numbers all start at like 850 and go up. I walked back and forth, trying to crack the code. I have about decided that this is my sign from God (finally) that I don't need to worry about this exercise business, when I hear a voice say, "Are you looking for something?"
I turn to ask where my locker might be. And I see a woman can only assume was one of the water aerobics participants. She has wet hair and is toweling off her naked body. Ohhh! My eyes, my eyes!!! She was just the absolute nicest lady. But her boobs reached down to her knees! (Which, in retrospect is probably a good thing, since they were likely shielding me from things that I can't even imagine without throwing up in the back of my throat a little)
And before you people jump all over me and tell me that my boobs will look like that someday, just stop. Because they will not. My teeny-tiny boobies may disappear altogether some day, but they are not and have never been big enough that they could ever dream of reaching my knees. Not complaining, just clarifying.
So anyway, kindly old nekkid lady informs me that I am in the wrong locker room. The one I want is back down the hall and to the right. So, I gather my composure and head back down the hall. Sure enough, there it is. The other women's locker room. I go in, keeping my eyes to the ground at all times, lest I see any other disturbing images, and I found locker 227. Put my purse and towels in there, lock it up and pin the key to my pants.
Then I find the nautilus equipment. The bike and the treadmill are the only two pieces of equipment in the place that look like I might know how to use them. So I settle for the bike. Just as I am about to sit down, a very sweet (and fully clothed, thank heaven) old man says, "Oh, you're going to take my bike?" He wasn't ugly about it, in fact he was very nice and I told him of course not, I would gladly take the recumbent bike. My back has been hurting anyway.
I had decided that I would bike for about 30 minutes. Hahahahahahaha! About three minutes into the bike ride, I decided that perhaps ten minutes was a good goal. I ended up riding for about eleven minutes, because as I neared ten, I noticed that I was very close to two miles and made that my final goal. Old guy? Still going strong. I suck.
I went and retrieved my towel from the locker, taking care to keep my eyes averted. I went back in to get on a treadmill and guess who was already on one? Yep, old guy. He was clicking along. At least we avoided the awkward "my treadmill" moment. So, I determined that I would walk for 20 minutes. That's nothing, right? Whatever. No hills, no resistance. I made it about ten minutes again. By then old guy had walked to Kansas City and back and was now on the weight machines.
I know my limits people. I wasn't about to tempt fate and injure myself on those weight machines. Old guy - 1, SugarMommy - 0. I'm not proud.
Just as an aside, I hate those mirrors in front of the treadmill. I know my ass is huge. Now I know exactly how much it jiggles. Ew. Maybe they are there for inspiration, but they only served to make me never, ever want to go on the treadmill again.
I went back to the dressing room, splashed some water on my face and looked for the towel receptacle. Not to be found. Now I had to ask where to put the towels. I was afraid. Finally, a (fully clothed) woman told me there was a place in by the whirlpool that I could put the towels in. So I went in there and this creepy Asian guy leers at me. He had been sitting in that damn whirlpool the whole time I was there, reading the newspaper. That can't be healthy.
SD worries that people will be offended by my pointing out that the creepy Asian hot tub guy was Asian. Trust me, there is no racist intent. I just want you all to have an accurate mental picture. Why should I have all the fun?
I go to turn in my key and the lady at the desk says, "Didn't I give you towels?"
I told her where I had put them and was informed (emphatically) that you are to put them in the bin right there at the front. Guess I was supposed to be psychic. I smiled and said "Well, now I'll know for next time."
I picked Bug up from the nursery. He had fun. We went out and watched the ducks some more, then went to Target to buy some decent workout clothes.
Here's a question. Why are all of the pants in the exercise stuff at Target either capris or made for women who are eleven feet tall?? Just wondering. Because for the pants to be short enough, I would need a small. But, come on. Did I mention my big, huge, jiggly ass?
While at Target, I also found some clothes for the kids, a thermos for SugarPlum's lunchbox PLUS a new lunchbox for her. Cinderella on DVD, and toothpaste. Target is not a good place for me to kill time.
No gym today. It really cut into my blogging time. Really, a girl MUST have priorities. That, and it hurts to walk and my sciatic nerve is screaming. Tomorrow, I promise. Unless something comes up.
"Look Mommy dere's a dubba-you!"
"Oh!! A dubba-you!"
"Dat's a dubba-you, Mommy?"
Yes we are all W all the time around here. Actually he likes the letter M as well, but only because it is an upside down W.
He carries the magnetic W from the fridge around with him all day like Linus and his blanket. He sees it all over town. He gets very excited near WalMart.
Do you realize (kindergarten teacher coming out here) that W is a difficult letter to "get" phonetically, because nowhere in its name does it say its sound? Trust me, it's true. Right, Karen? So I'm guessing that right now, he just likes the look of it.
But hey, who am I to stifle his budding phonemic awareness and pre-literacy skills??
Seriously though. Do you think I should tell the President? Might help us in the upcoming assignment cycle. Who knows. Couldn't hurt, right?
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Can anyone tell me what the hell kind of bug this is? The kids found it out on one of our trees tonight. And yes, it was laying eggs, so we may have a whole bunch more of those little buggers in the future.
Freaked the SugarBabies out a bit. Can you blame them? Look at the spiky ridge on its back. And the pointy thing in front. Like some sort of Chernobyl bug. Once we assured them that it wasn't going to hurt them, they were fascinated. It's like living on freakin' Animal Planet around here sometimes.
And our winner is...T! From Joyful Mayhem!! She went above and beyond and found this website that told us all about the Wheel Bug, one bad-ass (but beneficial insect)! No, we did NOT squish it, contrary to my first instinct. I'm kinda glad, too, because, evidently, it kills even bigger bugs. You'll have to read the article about it to get the full effect. The SugarBabies are all protective about the eggs now. It's pretty funny. I think I should get cool mom points not only for resisting the urge to whack it, but also for taking pictures.
Monday, October 03, 2005
1. I am a Christian.
2. Yes, a born again Christian.
3. Southern Baptist, even.
4. I will not cram it down your throat. If you ask, I will tell you anything you want to know about my faith. And when you want me to stop I will.
5. There is a lot about me that might surprise you once you know about the first stuff. Other things, not so surprising.
6. I am a Texas girl. Born there. Raised there.
7. Hope to get back there to stay someday when SD gets over this whole Air Force thing.
8. I can be incredibly obnoxious with my whole Texas pride stuff.
9. I try to rein it in. But seriously, Don't Mess With Texas.
10. I went to a magnet high school that had lots of college prep classes as well as performing arts classes.
11. My PE was ballet.
12. I was an honor student in high school.
13. I got over it in time for college.
14. I wanted to be a cheerleader in high school more than anything in the whole world.
15. My freshman year, I got laryngitis the week of tryouts.
16. I tried out anyway. With a fever of 101.
17. I didn't make it.
18. The critique sheet said "Needs to yell louder."
19. I tried out again my sophomore year, but if you didn't make it the year before, you didn't have a chance afterward.
20. So, I was a choir geek.
21. I was in the show choir.
22. I am freakishly flexible.
23. I can bend my legs backwards.
24. My husband is a happy man.
25. I met SugarDaddy in Washington D.C. at the Air Force Assn convention.
26. We didn't start dating until he moved to Texas for pilot training.
27. He lived 3 1/2 hours from me.
28. We never lived in the same town until we got married.
29. He gave me a promise ring on our third date.
30. He is a pretty swell husband in spite of our ups and downs.
31. I am a very good cook.
32. I am not a Martha Stewart type of cook.
33. I'm better at comfort foods.
34. If there is a shortcut, I will take it.
35. My kids like my Smothered Chicken, Enchiladas, and Stuffed Shells.
36. I will gladly share just about any recipe that I have but be aware that it will contains phrases such as "a glop of" or "three or so shakes of."
37. I have a degree in Early Childhood Development and Education.
38. I taught kindergarten after I got married.
39. When we moved, I worked as a tutor at a "learning center" until SugarPlum was born.
40. Now I am a SAHM and love it.
41. I never want to be a teacher again.
42. Other people's kids get on my nerves.
43. When I grow up I want to be a doula. (Hi Hula & Lonna!)
44. Or maybe a nursing consultant.
45. I love nursing my kids.
46. I am not a tidy person.
47. All of my IRL friends who read this are laughing their butts off right now.
48. Seriously, I am lacking the housekeeping gene or something.
49. I am at a loss as to how to keep my house neat.
50. The best I can do is try to keep it from being unsanitary.
51. I like to believe that I do a decent job of this, at least.
52. SugarDaddy will tell you that I have been doing better lately.
53. I'm at least making an effort.
54. Antidepressants are a beautiful thing.
55. I procrastinate.
56. Big time.
57. I have been working on this list for eight months. (HA!)
58. This may contribute to the housekeeping issues.
59. The laptop does little to help with my procrastination problems.
60. In college, I would put papers off until the last minute.
61. SD and I had a big fight about this while we were dating.
62. He told me that I would make a much better grade on that paper if I had put more time into it.
63. I got a 100%.
64. I am a very loyal friend.
65. There is very little you can do to get rid of me forever.
66. I am a grammar Na*zi.
67. Misplaced apostrophes send me over the edge.
68. Poor grammar irritates me.
69. I am a spell-check junkie.
70. 100 things is a lot to come up with.
71. I love to sleep.
72. I also enjoy napping.
73. Resting ranks high on my list as well.
74. My name really is Buffi.
75. Actually Buffi comes from my middle name, which was my grandmother's maiden name.
76. My first name is very classic and lovely.
77. But I have been called Buffi since the day I was born.
78. Some girls pretend they have exotic names. I used to fantasize that my name was Susan.
79. I can have a potty mouth.
80. I have curbed it some since having kids.
81. I love to snack.
82. Chips, cookies, candy. LOVE IT.
83. I hate, hate, hate to exercise. (see #s 71 - 73)
84. As I enter my mid-to-late 30s, this is becoming a problem.
85. Sunday, SD signed us up at the YMCA.
86. We'll see how that works out. (update: as of April, we are all done with that fantasy)
87. I am addicted to Diet Coke.
88. Have been since Junior High.
89. Okay, in Jr. High, it was Tab, but you understand.
90. I can't drink regular Coke. Too sweet.
91. Except in Coke Floats or Colorado Bulldogs.
92. I make a mean Colorado Bulldog. mmmmmm
93. I also make good Margaritas.
94. I used to read voraciously.
95. At least a book a week.
96. Blogs seem to have cut into this particular addiction.
97. I'm a Daddy's girl.
98. He's still wrapped around my little finger.
99. Although my kids have stolen some of that from me.
100. I am so happy to finally be done with this list!!!!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
I remember saying, "That's okay honey. I'll run go get the tortillas for the enchiladas."
And I walk into Kroger. The one with the Starbucks. And right smack in front of me is a sign that says "Try a Pumpkin Spice Latte!"
And my mind flashes to Jenny. And her waxing rhapsodic over the PSL.
So, I say to myself, "Self, you ought to try one of those PSLs. See if they are as good as Mizz Jenny says they are."
Oh, sweet latte! Where have you been all my life?? I'm certain that the people who were anywhere near the organic tortillas are at home right now telling their spouses and friends about the crazy blonde lady at Kroger making strange noises over a cup of coffee.
It's probably a good thing that the nearest Starbucks is at the grocery store. Because then, you know, I have to go to the grocery store to get a PSL. On the other hand....
Brussels Sprouts! I completely forgot we are out of brussels sprouts! And you can't have enchiladas without a side of brussels sprouts. (Work with me, people!) I have to go back to the grocery store. ::Be back in a minute honey...::
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Did you remember that Alec Baldwin was on that? I saw him on Will & Grace Thursday night. That man has not aged well. How sad. (He is nowhere near my list.)