Monday, July 25, 2005

Iona & D'Wanda

There are several strange people in my house. No, not the children from California. They still aren't here. No, these are all female, as far as I can tell. They are in great demand here in Candyland. My boys keep calling them, but I have never seen them. They all have the same last name and one of two first names. But, they have different middle names. I think perhaps they are from some sort of cult.

The first names are Iona and D'Wanda. (Yes, I'm afraid it's a white trash cult.) Their last name is Mommy. I think that the Ionas may be hiding out in the kitchen. Every time I go in there, the boys are calling, "Iona Banana Mommy" "Iona Cookie Mommy" "Iona Icepop Mommy." Occasionally I hear, "Iona GoOutside Mommy" "Iona WatchNoggin Mommy" Always the whole name. Odd.

The D'Wandas hang out upstairs, mainly. Near the bedrooms, best I can tell. The boys call them in an almost pleading voice, "D'Wanda Gonapnap Mommy" "D'Wanda Pickupmytoys Mommy." The middle names are very strange. Foreign perhaps?

If you have any ideas as to how to get these people out of my house, I would welcome them. I am ready to contact the authorities. Or perhaps an exorcist.

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