Today I am bitching about:

1. The odor emanating from my guest suite. This is pretty funny of you have talked to me on the phone in the past week or so.


2. The Ron Paul for President people. You know I'm a Republican, but this guy is a little too fringe for me. (Didn't he used to be a Libertarian?) These people are every.where. I'd give you a link but I don't want to encourage them.


3. TWITTER. Okay, I am loving the Twitter. But one of the people I am "following" is getting totally put of hand with the postings. It is making me crazy. When you stop following someone, are they notified? I don't want to piss this person off. If you are reading this and you think it might be you, trust me, it's not.


4. My sidebar. Those archives are just out of control. I know that I've whined about this before, but does anybody know how to put them into some sort of drop-down thing with out ruining my very old template?


5. The way Stacy and Clint (on What Not to Wear) say "pant" and "shoes." Like "Now this is a really great pant." or "You need a better shoe." They are PANTS and SHOES. Sheesh. (Okay, it doesn't trouble me enough to stop watching. I'm addicted. I even TiVo the reruns! Pa.the.tic.)


6. Speaking of silly "reality" television....That prissy Christian guy on Project Runway. He makes me crazy. And his designs are all boxy and FUGLY. I'm quite over him and I'm ready for him to be Auf'd.


7. My dogs. Their barking is going to push me right over the edge. I know. They are DOGS. And dogs bark. But it's the bossy bark at the door as if I am OBLIGATED to let her in or out whenever she chooses. It's like the Gospel According to Snazzy: "Behold, I stand at the door, and bark: if any man (or woman. or child. well, anyone who can work a doorknob) hear my voice - open the door already! I will come in to him, and will sup with him, (sleep with him, chew up his new shoes, shed all over his furniture and clothes)...and he with me." 1 Labradorians 7:14


8. The end of NaBloPoMo. I really didn't think I'd make it a whole month posting DAILY. But it has been pretty cool. Hopefully, I can keep this up. Maybe not every day, but several times a week. We'll see.

Pink eye for all my friends!!!

Oh, yes. Less than 24 hours later and we have TWO kids on antibiotics and eye drops. I predict that by this time tomorrow, all three will be afflicted. Bug doesn't have bronchitis. Yet. But the dr thought that he probably has a sinus infection and his eye is just, well, gross.

Tonight, we were supposed to have some friends come over for dinner. Her husband is TDY (that's Air Force for "out of town") and our kids all get along really well. She decided not to join us tonight. Something about not wanting pot roast with a side of conjunctivitis. Sissy.

What a GREAT weekend I have to look forward to. We are all supposed to go see the Harlem Globetrotters with the Cub Scouts tomorrow night. Wonder if we will all get to go?

A medical quiz. I failed.

So when your six-year-old (who has seasonal allergies and is taking medicine for them) has a cough that sounds kinda gross, but also a little like it's just a post nasal drip cough, but no fever - there was never a fever - how long do you wait before taking him to the doctor?

Three days? A week?

Until he is waking you up at night coughing?

Until he has goop coming out of his eye?

Until he - the child who, most days, won't even accept your offers to stay home from school and snuggle Mommy all day - tells you he doesn't want to go to school because he needs to go to the doctor?

BINGO!

Since he was feeling so poorly that he didn't even want to go to school, I called the base appointment line and am told that they can get him into pediatrics on....Friday. Um, no. Thanks for playing. Try again, please. So they have the nurse call and give permission to take him to the Clinic Care thingy OFF base (and much, much closer to my house).

We get there, check in, and wait.....about two minutes. Seriously. I was STUNNED!!! They weighed Bear and put us in a room and THEN we waited....perhaps sixty seconds. Holy Cow! And who walks in? An actual doctor with an actual MD!! She examined Bear and was very nice. I'm starting to wonder what the down side is to going off base. Oh, wait! There isn't one.

So, what happens when you wait until your child is actually BEGGING you to go to the doctor? He ends up having bronchitis, a sinus infection, AND pink eye. Bless his little Bear heart.

BAAAD Mommy. Bad, bad Mommy.

The Night the Lights Went Out in Candyland

First....can you believe that I have made it almost to the end of NaBloPoMo and haven't missed a day?! Shocks the hell out of me. I know, I have totally jinxed myself. But only three more days. Surely I can make it. Maybe I oughta give someone the keys, just in case I slip into a coma or get taken hostage by crazed toddlers or something. (Don't laugh. It could totally happen in my world!)

Actually, by some strange twist of fate, I ended up posting shortly after church Sunday rather than after the kids were in bed, as was the original plan. Thank goodness, or my posting streak would have ended and you would have heard my anguished cry for miles around.


We were sitting in the living room Sunday night, playing with the kids and generally having a good time, when zzzzzzzppp the lights went out for a second. They came back on and then *POW* they went off again in spectacular fashion. Kinda freaky. Especially if you are four.

Seems that just enough ice and snow had accumulated on the trees out back that they drooped down and rubbed the transformer, causing it to blow. (The boys were quite impressed upon hearing - at least they thought - that there were Transformers kasploding outside. Boy were they disappointed.)

First things first, SD found flashlights and we lit the fire in the fireplace. Score one for gas logs. Then we lit some candles and called the electric delivery people (hi Bob!). The recording said that the power should be back on by 9:00 PM. No problem. I might miss Desperate Housewives, but at least I'd get to see Brothers and Sisters. (Yes, I have my priorities straight!)

SugarPlum and I sat down by the fire and she remarked that she guessed that now we know how the pioneers felt. At least pioneers who lived in well insulated houses with natural gas fireplaces and stoves. And flashlights. And cell phones. Those pioneers. You remember Laura Ingalls Wilder lamenting about the time they had no internet access for several hours, right?


The SugarBabies remembered decided they wanted to call and tell GrayGray about the snow and the power going out. Bug relayed it in this way:


Gway! I went to the potty and I POOPED in the potty. Then I wiped and then I flushed. And When I FLUSHED? The LIGHTS ALL WENT OUT! It fweaked me out Gway!


My dad could. not. stop. laughing. All he could say was, "Well, Bug, that must have been one powerful poop!"

We sat around the fire for a while, but as it WAS a school night, eventually, we had to get everyone to bed. The boys were a little fweaked out about going to bed with no power. I tried to explain that IT'S NIGHT! It would be dark in your room regardless. But there's no reasoning with little boys. So, SD found a chem stick light and hung it from their ceiling fan and put batteries in their cd player so that they could hear their lullabyes. They thought that they would get out of brushing their teeth until SD pointed out that the electricity was out, not the water. With the aid of the flashlight, we were able to read a chapter out of Junie B Jones and everyone was off to bed. (That Junie B. She's a caution!)

I honestly expected it to be an up-and-down night for the boys, full of MOOOOMMMYYYY!!!s and the other tactics little boys use to avoid sleep. But, surprisingly enough, both boys went right to sleep. Perhaps the dark, dark hallway was too daunting for them. Or perhaps it was the death threats if they got out of bed. Hard to say.

Next, SP and I settled on the couch for a chapter of To Kill a Mockingbird, during which the lights came on for about a four seconds. Only to go off AGAIN in spectacular fashion. At this point, SD was back out seeing what the Oncor guys were doing. The power would come on and he said that you could see it arc and send sparks flying everywhere. That's always good to hear. Eventually, they had to call a tree trimmer to come out and cut away several branches. A tree trimmer. On a Sunday. Night. In the snow. Oh yeah, somebody got some hella overtime!

SD came back in and we settled in with some hot chocolate (hooray again for natural gas!) and Us Magazine War and Peace. Eventually, it became obvious that we were not going to have power anytime soon. I had already missed Brothers and Sisters (dammit) and now we were missing he news (which always pisses me off), so we decided to go to bed. After a while, we noticed that it was awfully quiet out there where they had been working. I called back to check on the ETA for the power while SD went back outside to see what was - or wasn't - going on.

On my end, I found out that "crews are working on your outage and your power will be restored as soon as possible." No actual time. That can't be good. SD returned, chucking, saying that they were indeed working and that our next door neighbor was giving them a piece of her mind. I'm sure that helped. Meanwhile I was texting my Twitter in order to chide Bob about my outage. Then, with lots of fleece and several blankets, we went to sleep.

SD got up at 5:00 AM to start the fire in the living room so that we wouldn't all freeze when we got up. He totally rocks. He said that the power FINALLY came on at about 5:30. Since we didn't get up until 7:00 or so, all was well for the rest of us in the morning. But SD was exhausted.

And the SugarBabies had a GREAT story to tell at school Monday. Now, I'd better get this thing posted so as to avoid any unforeseen delays!

This time it's SEVEN Random Things

I've done the random things meme several times. But, as it HAS been a while AND Ziff Niffer asked nicely (but not at all because I am totally out of things to blog for NaBloPoMo!), I will post another seven random things. Because if you have learned NOTHING in the past two and a half years (!) of this blog, it that my life is just CHOCK FULL of randomness!


1. I prefer watching shows on TiVo than when they are coming on. To the extent that I will WAIT to watch a show until it is a good 20 minutes in just so that I can skip the commercials.

2. That said, I have been known to back it up for a good commercial. I'm slightly ashamed to admit that these have included, but are not limited to: Sonic commercials and most anything with Peyton Manning.

3. I've discovered that this laptop? It is from the devil. Once I get on it, I am sucked in for hours. And it's not just me. SugarPlum and Bear have fallen victim to the evil Dell lately, as the Webkinz site won't work on the desktop.

4. I have a sneaking suspicion that Webkinz have some sort of demonic connection as well. All three SugarBabies are ADDICTED to them.

5. SugarPlum still wants me to read to her every night at bedtime. And sing her the same lullabye I have been singing to her since she was a baby. I consider myself SOOOOO lucky. I don't know how much longer it will last, but I am savoring every bedtime!


6. We don't read "kiddie books." Right now, we are reading To Kill a Mockingbird. It is my all time favorite book. It has prompted some really interesting coversations about social injustices and the changes that have taken place in the past 70 years. It's encouraging to see the moral outrage that she's expressed in response to the subject matter. She is SUCH a great kid.


7. After this heavy book, though, we have decided to read Mary Poppins. I'm excited. I mean, Mary Poppins is one of my very favorite movies, but have you ever read the book? I haven't. I'm excited to see how it's different. We'll have to remember that the book came first.




So there you go. AGAIN! I'm not tagging anyone right now. I'm lazy that way. (Oooh! Bonus random thing!) If you do it, let me know. I want to see how random YOU are!

What are they teaching them in Sunday School these days??

Conversation going on around the dinner table. We were dicussing the names of people in our extended family:


Bear: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John!

Me: And what is that?

Bear: It's the INTESTINES of the the Bible!


and then Diet Coke came out of my nose

So, Bug is wondering....

Do ninjas have mommies?


Four-year-olds have the best questions.

The post where I use the phrase "Pull-Ups" 950 million times***

SUBTITLED: HELP!!!!

You know what I will, one day, be truly thankful for? When I don't have to buy pull-ups any more. Those things are expensive and it irks me to no end that I am still buying them. My mind boggles at the Christmas gifts I could purchase with the money I am spending on pull-ups every month.


Both boys must wear pull-ups to bed every night. And, oh, say five nights out of seven, we go through three if not four pull-ups. This is because, in spite of my insistence that they go pee before bed and the trips they make when I haul their poor sleepy selves out of bed to take them to the potty, they STILL pee in their sleep. Many nights, when I take them to the potty before I go to bed, they have already wet their pull-ups. So, I change them. Then? At least three times a week I have to change the sheets on one or both beds because they have leaked in the night IN SPITE OF a)having a pull up on; and b)having been taken to the bathroom in the middle of the night.


I try limiting their fluid intake in he evenings. I make sure that they pee at least once before they go to sleep. Just what in the hell is going on here? Sometimes, their pj's and beds will be soaked, yet the pull-ups are barely damp. What is THAT about? I am certain that they have the proper size pull-ups and that they are on correctly. (This shouldn't be a problem since they are clearly marked, yet many times I have discovered a boy with a backward pull-up.)

But truly, the most disturbing thing is: these boys are FOUR and SIX YEARS OLD!! Shouldn't they have the nighttime incontinence thing conquered by now? SP did by the time she was three. I KNOW. Boys are different and take longer than girls. But COME ON. This is crazy, right?

Bear is dying to have a sleep-over or to go to sleep at a friend's house. But, I can't in good conscience send him to another house just to pee the bed. Not to mention that he really, really wants to go to church camp next summer. That ain't gonna happen if he has to wear pull-ups and be changed in the night. At the very least I'll have to insist that they give him a bottom bunk!

Is this one of those terribly common, yet shameful things that nobody speaks of? Or are my boys freaks? Will they need college roommates who won't mind taking them to potty in the night? WHAT CAN I DO????? Any advice would be welcome. As long as it is constructive. My ego can't handle a beating right now.


***I almost titled this post "Pissed Off" but I decided that I wouldn't be THAT obvious. Though, I am a punny girl!***

Happy Thanksgiving! (in the year of recycled posts)

To give you a clue as to what I am about to start cooking, I will give you the recipe to my all time favorite Cranberry Sauce . This recipe came courtesy of the Queen and was originally posted two years ago.


Spiced Cranberry Sauce

1 C. Water
1 C. Sugar
1 3" piece fresh ginger, peeled
1 firm pear, diced
1 tsp grated lemon peel
1 12oz pkg. cranberries
1 small can mandarin oranges, drained
2 Tbsp lemon juice


Bring first 2 ingredients to a boil in a heavy saucepan, stirring constantly(who actually stirs CONSTANTLY??). Boil 5 minutes. Add pear and lemon peel, return mixture to a boil and cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in cranberries, reduce heat, simmer without stirring 3-5 minutes until cranberry skins pop. Remove from heat, cool. Remove and discard ginger. Add mandarin oranges. Cover and chill. Stir in lemon juice just before serving. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As a corollary, I give you this little piece of information, posted shortly after Thanksgiving 2005.


Handy Household Hint

If, while cleaning the remaining Thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge, you notice that the dishwasher is getting awfully full, so you decide to leave some of said leftovers in their Tupperware containers on the counter for a couple of days few hours rather than deal with them at this moment, be sure to vent the lid on the cranberry sauce just a little bit. Failure to do so will lead to the fermentation of the sugars in the fruit which will lead to the lid POPping off and flying across the kitchen to the great delight of Bear and Bug any little boys in the vicinity.

Um, I read that in a magazine somewhere. Something like that would never ever happen here in Candyland. Excuse me now. I have to go buy more paper towels.

Last minute list....

Turkey? Check
Dressing? Check
Cranberries (fresh)? Check
Ginger (for cranberry sauce)? Check
Green Beans? Check
Potatoes? Check
Gravy? WHOOPS!
chocolate pie filling? Check
whipping cream? Check
Pie crust? WHOOPS!
Rolls? Check
Wine? Double Check
(father-in-law is here, after all)
Pumpkin Pie? (not making from scratch since I found that the local bakery puts mine to shame) ummm...later today

Shopping list for the dreaded "Thanksgiving Eve" trip to the grocery store:
Gravy, pie crust, pumpkin pie, extra whipping cream - because you can never have enough whipping cream...)

What am I forgetting????

Ah, yes. Valium for me, paregoric for the SugarBabies. And? Vodka.

Any other suggestions?

Were you aware of this?

I read in the paper this morning that the day after tomorrow is THANKSGIVING!

How the hell did THAT happen? Wasn't it just September, like YESTERDAY?! Way to be there for me, people.

Suppose I should go buy a turkey and all the accompaniments? Or do you think that SD, Pop Pop & the SugarBabies would settle for that lasagna I have in the freezer?

Yeah. Me neither. Guess it's off to the commissary for me!

Things I don't understand

• Why my son (Bear) cannot stop breaking his pencils at school. No, I don't mean that the lead frequently breaks. I mean that he breaks his pencils in half. Not one or two. But many, many pencils.
• Why my daughter insists on doing just enough to piss ME off - thoroughly -, but not enough for anyone else to understand why I am so angry. It's a fine line and she consistently finds it. GIFTED. Yes.
• Why, no matter how tired I am, I cannot manage to go to bed before midnight at least four nights a week.
• Where are of this damn laundry comes from.
• How I am going to pay for Christmas presents this year.
• What the hell is wrong with Britney. (I'm so ashamed of my fascination with her train wreck of a life, but I just can't stop looking!)
• What is up with that Yo Gabba Gabba show on Nick Jr. It's like Sesame Street on acid.
• Why Bug is absolutely averse to doing anything any person in authority asks of him.
• Also, how he has figured out the whole "reverse psychology" angle.
• If my house will ever truly be clean and organized.
• Why my husband is still around. Being married to a crazy person cannot be easy. (Entertaining at times, though!)
• Why some people can't escape the roles they assumed in High School, no matter how many years it has been.
• Heroes. This show baffles me.
• How SD knew, without me having to even hint, that I needed ice cream. And not just ice cream, but Cappuccino Chocolate Chunk. How does he do that?
• What on earth possessed me to pledge to post every single day this month? I've been successful so far! Can I make it for ten more days?

Longest Baby Shower EVER

The baby shower was a huge success. If success can be measured by how long the people stay. If that is indeed the case, then I AM the hostess with the mostess. Because I finally got everybody out of my house at 1:00 this morning. AND? THEY CAME BACK. For brunch.

Seriously. This was such a strange situation for a shower. NONE of the people at the shower - other than the Sugar family - lives in Candyland. It just worked out that of the possible venues, my house offered the shortest average drive for everyone invited. Consequently, everyone who attended the shower (with the exception of two) stayed the night. Not at my house. Only the Mommy-to-Be (CRB) stayed here. Everyone else stayed at a nearby hotel. For a few hours anyway.

For everyone staying here in Candyland, SD and I prepared my world famous Kick Ass Fajitas for supper. And they were fantabulous, if I do say so myself. Then we all had a great time singing while SD played the piano. Well, we are a big bunch of choir geeks, you know. By 1:00 my head was pounding, Matt was falling asleep, SD had already been in bed for an hour.

Everyone returned this morning. Hungry again, of course. They are insatiable. So, SD, bless his heart, fixed Belgian waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs, and hash browns. He is so worth every penny I pay him.

We all had a blast. Especially watching Buttercup as she did the macarena in Mommy's belly. That little baby can bust a move. Much to CRB's dismay. We all can't wait to meet the little angel. I tried to talk her into being born here in Candyland last night, but she wasn't going for it. So inconsiderate. Everybody finally headed to their respective homes by about 1:30 this afternoon. And we are all wiped out. At least I didn't have to drive three hours!

NOW? Well, now, we prepare for PopPop to get here on Tuesday. This involves washing sheets, cleaning bathrooms, and...well, I suppose I should go to the grocery store for Thanksgiving dinner stuff. *sigh* When did November get here? And what the hell happened to it?

Heeeere's Buttercup!

I've been meaning to post this for a long time. Here are the most recent pictures of Buttercup (my sweet godbaby to be!)

Enjoy, the next pictures will be sometime next month. You know, when she's HERE!

Isn't she beautiful?!

Also? Pissed! Or, maybe sleepy.

Today was CRB's shower. At my house. I am so, so very tired. I will tell you all about it tomorrow. Or the next day. Hell, I need SOMETHING to post about. You'll probably hear more about it than you ever wanted to know!

ATTENTION SPAMMERS

• I do not want to take advantage of any unique work from home opportunities. Even if they do have the potential of earning me a million, frillion dollars a year.


• I do not want to meet black singles in my area.


• Or Christian singles.


• Or Young Singles.


• Or Big Beautiful Women.


• Or look at pictures of other singles in my area.


• I am married you idiots. And even if I weren't, I wouldn't be meeting that special someone thru a SPAM SITE.


• I am not interested in taking a short survey and receiving a gift card to Chilis, WalMart, Outback, Kohls or anywhere else.


• Bob Allen - I don't believe that you are the one to "jump start my success." YOUR success perhaps, but not so much mine. Also, I'd hate to think that I'd have top sink to the level of spamming people just to be successful. I'll leave that up to YOU, Bob Allen.


• I do not want to become a secret shopper in my area. (Okay, I actually think that would be fab, but I don't exactly trust the people who keep emailing me 1,000 times a day begging me to)


• I do not want to increase the size of my pen*s. Though that would be quite an impressive feat.


• I'm not interested in receiving prescription drugs, even at "ridiculously low prices!!" Or perhaps I should say especially not at ridiculously low prices.


• I'm fairly certain that I never bought a ticket for a lottery in Australia, so I'm thinking that it's another buffi who won.


• This goes for Canada and South Africa a well.


• I don't want to buy a foreclosed house. Vultures.


• Lasik? AS IF I would let somebody who advertises thru spam to do surgery. On my eyes.


• I'm not going to tell you which cola I prefer. Even if you promise me an iPod.


• I have no interest in earning a degree online.


• Therefore, I don't need student financial aid.


• And I don't want to consolidate all of my bills into one easy payment. (I have a sneaking suspicion that you all are in cahoots with the student loan people.) (Who are likely affiliated fairly closely with the "earn a degree online" folks.)(I'm sensing a trend here)


• Seriously? Colon Cleansing? GROSS.


• I don't want to buy a home security system.


• Not interested in becoming a "secret food critic." (See above: "Secret Shopper")


• Don't need life insurance.


• Or Viagra.


• Or Mega Vitamins


• Or a degree in Criminal Justice (but if I had one I'd be bringing all of you assholes down)


• I already have a cell phone, thank you.


• I have no need to learn to speak a new language in 10 days.


• Nor do I want any screen savers, emoticons, ringtones, or free e-cards.


• I am already in touch with all of the people with whom I graduated from high school that I DESIRE to be in touch with. The rest of 'em can suck it.
  

Is everybody clear on this? Are we all on the same page (so to speak)? Good. Now, for the love of Pete! Leave me alone already, wouldja!!!

Pay no attention to the obviously deranged Astronaut Cowboy

I have no explanation for the appearance of my son here. Other than perhaps, he's four and he has a HUGE sense of humor. This isn't even the funniest outfit he has come up with. Astronaut suit, teeny tiny cowboy hat, two different socks and underwear on the outside. It's just the funniest one I have happened to get a picture of. So you can only IMAGINE what he walks out here in some days.


But this post isn't even about Bug and his all too apparent need for a psychological evaluation -sooner rather than later.

This post is about furniture. Specifically, about the furniture in this picture. The sofas. Do you see them? Well, do you see the loveseat anyway? It is a good representation of the other three pieces that came with it. (Sofa, loveseat, chair and ottoman) Being exactly the same and all.

SD and I shopped our asses off last Christmas trying to find just the right living room furniture. (Sadly, my ass grew right back. Big as ever.) We narrowed it down to two. (sets of furniture. not asses.) One set at a chain store named after one of the Olsen twins. One at a chain that has several FURNITURE stores in a ROW. Ultimately, we went with the second store. We thought the sofa set we bought there would last us a long time and would be rugged enough to withstand our boys.

WRONGO.

I am so very, very unhappy with this furniture right now. Not a month after we got it, the fabric started getting "pulls" in it. Sort of coming unravelled. And not from some blatant abuse by the boys, but just getting caught on something as one of us passed by the ottoman. Now, there are pulls somewhere on each piece.


PLUS - and this is what is most aggravating - the fabric is "pilled" up ALL OVER the blasted furniture. It looks like it is about ten years old. And it is not even a year old. I am of the opinion that when you spend several thousand dollars on furniture, it should stay looking, if not new, then not OLD for...well, at least until you have paid it off! (The store offered no interest/no payments for two years or something like that)

In addition, it has gotten mushy and uncomfortable. I'm whiny, I know. But I am just so disappointed. SD talked to the manager about this a few weeks ago and he said that they would fix the fabric where it is pulled and that they could add more stuffing to make it firmer. But how do they fix the pilling? (It's a word NOW) I can only see that being remedied by totally reupholstering ALL OF IT. And that just seems crazy. PLUS what are we supposed to do for living room furniture while it's being fixed?

Do you think that they will just replace it? Do you think that we an pick something else or at least a different fabric? Do you think that I will stop whining any time soon?


Nah. Me neither.

**I do realize that if this is the biggest problem in my life, that I have so much to be thankful for. And I am, truly. But I must whine. It's my job.

Ending Hunger. With Chocolate! And Fun!

Here's something fun!

You know Ferrero. Yes, you do. Ferrero Rocher, those uber-yummy, decadent chocolate-hazelnut gems wrapped in gold foil. And now they are going to have a new one that has dark chocolate! (more on that later) Oh, I get all tingly thinking about them.....

Hmmm?

Oh, yes, yes. Hunger. Ended. And fun! How could things get better?

As part of its partnership with Share Our Strength (SOS), one of the nation’s leading organizations working to end childhood hunger in America, Ferrero has created a Web site called Share Something Sweet (sharesomethingsweet.com). With this site, you can send virtual snow globes to friends and family that can be customized by uploading photographs as well as personal messages. As part of its work on SOS, Ferrero will be donating $20,000 to the charity. You can join us in supporting this cause by sending a personalized e-card snow globe and spreading the word.

AND? Do you live in or near New York City? Lucky YOU! Get this.....

Ferrero is also supporting SOS through sponsorship of SWEET, “New York’s Biggest Dessert Party," a culinary festival at which visitors can sample creations from New York’s most renowned pastry chefs, confectioners and chocolatiers. All proceeds from the event benefit SOS. SWEET takes place on November 16, at 9 p.m. at The Waterfront, in New York. Delicious photos from the SWEET event will be posted on http://www.sharesomethingsweet.com/ later this month. (If you go, I want to hear ALL about it. I'll be vacuuming the house that day. Charlie. JOY.)

So? End Hunger in America! Or help to, anyway. At least put a smile on the face of someone you love! I sent a snowglobe to Gray Gray and Gram already. You may be getting one in your inbox soon. Lucky, lucky you!

Moon Pies, Anyone?

Bug made his third trip to THE OFFICE yesterday. His teacher told me, trying to stifle a giggle, that while standing in line for the water fountain (or something), Bug dropped trou and proceeded to shake his bootie for the class. The only saving grace was that he kept his Superman boxers up whilst "entertaining" his classmates. *ahem*

Perhaps he has a future with Chippendale's?

We tried to impress upon him that mooning people is simply not acceptable. He gave us an apathetic reply - the four year old version of "Yadda yadda yadda." Every day is an adventure in this house, I'll tell you.

Oh, HELL No

Just when I thought that the spam recipes couldn't get any worse, today, upon opening the Spam folder, I was greeted with this:

Spam Fajitas ?!?!

Sacrilege. It's the end of the world. It has to be.


(For a realistic fajita recipe, check out my world famous Kick Ass Fajitas!)

Conversations that make my mom laugh her ass off (last one...for now)

What precipitated this exchange? Who knows. Does it really matter? It happens about fourteen times a day. One day it will end horribly. Mark my words.


Bear started it!

Nuh, uh! BUG started it!

No I didn't!

He's lying!

Am not! YOU'RE lying!

No, you are. 'Cuz YOU started it

~~~~~\\\\\\\*******KA-PLOWEE!!!!!*****///////~~~~~

(that's the sound of my head exploding)

Conversations that make my mom laugh her ass off (which is really starting to sound like me nagging)

Me: SugarPlum. Throwing all of your clothes into the laundry basket is not "putting your clothes away." There are clothes in here that are folded! And LOOK! These have TAGS on them! How could they possibly be dirty if you have never EVER worn them? There should only be actual dirty clothes coming in here in the hamper. You'd better cut this crap out or you'll end up doing your OWN LAUNDRY from now on. Capisce?


SugarPlum: :::stomping::: followed by :::slamming door:::


Are you sensing a theme here?

Conversations that make my mom laugh her ass off (10 year-old version...continued)

SugarPlum: My room is all clean!

Me: Did you really get it all clean or did you just push everything to the edges of your room so that the middle *looks* clean but if one pays any attention at all, she can see the piles of CRAP lining the perimeter? Because if it's the latter, I will have to say, no, it is NOT clean and you cannot go to Izzy's house until it is.

SugarPlum: :::BIGGEST SIGH EVER::: followed by *slamming door *

That's what I thought.


Me: Slam that door again and I'm taking it off the hinges!

Comversations that make my mom laugh her ass off (10 year-old version)

Me: SugarPlum!

SP: ............

Me: SUGARPLUM!!!

SP: what??? (very distant)

Me: SUGAR!PLUM!

SP: ::walking in, batting eyelashes:: Yes, Mommy?

Me: When I call you, you come here. Don't yell "What," you come the first time.

SP: ::eye roll:: What did you need Mommy?

Me: I have no idea anymore.

*sigh*

Conversations that make my mom laugh her ass off (Theme for the rest of the week)

Remember when your mom told you, "One day you will grow up and have kids and I hope that they will act just like you are now!"! Well, evidently, it worked. And my mother is experiencing unspeakable joy over this fact.

To wit:


Me: ::standing in the kitchen, cooking dinner::

Bear: Mommy, may I please have a cookie?

Me: Buddy, we are going to be eating supper in about 15 minutes.

Bear: So, can I have a cookie?

Me: No, because it's almost suppertime.

Bear: Well, can I have a yogurt then?

Me: Bear! We're eating supper soon! No yogurt.

Bear: Well....a popsicle then? I can have a popsicle?

Me: *sigh* Supper! 10 minutes!! No popsicle!

Bear: But I'm starving!!!

Me: Well, call CPS then because you are not getting anything before supper. Now, go play.

Bear:.........can I have just one piece of candy?

ME: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

It's Spam-a-licious!

Every time I click on my Spam file in my Gmail account, I notice that in the little "random link bar" across the top of the page, it a link for various Spam recipes. Each one more gross sounding that the last. I have been known to throw up in the back of my throat a little when reading some of these.

Of course, I couldn't keep all of that Spam-tastic goodness to myself, so I have decided to collect these links and share them with you. Misery love company.

Spam Vegetable Strudel (Spam! and vegetables! in phyllo!)

Creamy Spam Broccoli Casserole - The name just says it all (urp!)

French Fry Spam Casserole The hell?

Spicy Spam Kabobs I don't even want to know...

Vineyard Spam Salad (Spam, grapes, and peapods - doesn't get any better than that!)

Spam Veggie Pita Pockets they're trying to make it sound healthy. it's not working.

Spam Quiche Ew. That's all. Just EW.

Spam Primavera?! Now they're just messing with me

Do you get the feeling you're in a Monty Python sketch?

If any of you decide to try one of these recipes, please let me know the results. Once you've recovered from the aftermath, that is. Try not to be too graphic. I've a weak constitution.

Ask me anything! (within reason)

Okay, a few posts back, I lost my mind and actually encouraged you people to ask me questions so that I could stock the old blog...as it were. So, here are some of the questions and answers. You people are crazy. Ask more if you want. I promise to try to answer as best I can. Unless you are a smarty pants like Bob here:


Q: Why does string theory require at least ten dimensions?

A: Archduke Franz Ferdinand (hey, makes as much sense as anything else I might come up with.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next question comes from my dear precious friend CRB (who, incidentally is the mother of Buttercup, who should be making her appearance next month):

Q: Why is it that some people don't hear or maybe don't have the little voice in their head that tells them to S.T.O.P what they are doing before someone goes postal on them????!!!!

A: Gee are we talking about any ex-husband person in particular here or is this just something you've been pondering for a while? I have no answer for this one either, though if I did, I would probably be able to write a book, make a gazillion dollars and then we could escape to a spa for a month or so. AND? perhaps hire somebody to "take care of" these problem ex-husbands people of whom you speak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karin and Angel asked me a couple of really great questions, but, as I am trying to make this theme last several posts, you will have to wait until tomorrow to see them! Now, what else do you want to know?

Thought for the day

SugarBabies Halloween 2007

Everyone here in Candyland just enjoyed the heck out of Halloween this year. Not much trick-or-treating was done, but plenty of candy was cpllected to drive Mommy crazy for weeks to come. These shots were taken just before we went in to our church's carnival.

No, Bug isn't wearing a skirt. I couldn't find the trick-or-treat bags, so we went retro and used pilllow cases. You know, like in the olden days.

Cleopatra hams it up.

In related news.......all Halloween candy faces likely relocation to the bin due to many, many conversations much like the following:

Mommy? Can I have a piece of candy?

No Bug. You just had a piece of candy two minutes ago.

That's okay, I'll get a different kind.

But it's still candy. No.

No, Mommy! It'll taste completely different than the other one. I'm getting chocolate this time.

Wha? No. No more candy. *sigh*

Yes, indeed, I have lost my ever lovin' mind

For some reason, that I still cannot understand, I signed up for NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month. (See badge in sidebar) This means that I pledged to post each and every day in November. Because I have been so consistent about posting in the past year and a half or so. Yeah.

I haven't even managed to post every WEEK, much less every day. Maybe this is my subconscious way of getting me back into the swing of things. I suspect that it is simply my subconscious fucking with me. Bastard.

So, do you think I can do it? I have no idea. It's worth a shot.

Wanna help? Since I am needing blog material, I am actually encouraging you to ask me questions. You know, everything you ever wanted to know about Sugar Mommy but were afraid to ask.

Be nice.

Perturbed

I have a question that I'm not sure if anyone who reads here will have the answer to. But here it is:

What the hell is so funny, cool, or whatever about taking pumpkins and other decorations off of people's front porches and lawns and smashing them in the street? I'm assuming it is teenagers roaming around at night, but I can't be sure. I just don't understand what it is about tearing up the prized decorations of children and of other people that is so appealing. To anyone.


Now, my kids' pumpkins get put out on the back porch every year for this very reason. But the very sweet lady next door goes all out every year decorating her house for the season. It is always very tasteful and lovely with neat looking pumpkin topiaries and jack-o-lanterns. And every year, they get smashed in the street. This just makes me angry. And even though, they aren't ours, my kids are devastated that someone would do that to Ms. Sherry's pumpkins. They just don't get it.

If someone can explain it, please do. Because I am feeling very unforgiving right now. I guess that I just don't get it either.


Halloween pictures of the SugarBabies will be posted later, I promise. I have to get to work just now....