Stop the ride, I wanna get off

You've heard of the Carnival of Cats?? And the Carnival of Comedy?? And the Carnival of Education?

Well, here in Candyland, we have the carnival of germs. If you will recall, I used to call this Musical Viruses or the Game Nobody Wins. But now we have added bacteria to the stew, so we will just call it the Carnival of Germs. And frankly, I'm ready for this carnival to pack up and leave town already.

Bear (yes, of course, its Bear, the kid can't catch a break) was unusually irritable and whiny Sunday morning before church. He was just not right. My mommy bat-senses were tingling and I listened to him breath. He wasn't wheezing, didn't have strider, but didn't sound right. I took his temperature. 99.5. Technically not a fever, but a little high for 8:00 in the morning, so I suggested that he stay home & he was all over that idea. SD said that he would stay home with Bear so that I could take SugarPlum and Bug to Sunday School. Bear would hear nothing of it. He wanted his mommy. So SD said that he would just drop SugarPlum off and come back home since he had a lot of studying he needed to do. (SD goes to Mass as the Catholic chapel on base on Saturdays. The kids & I go to a Baptist church in the next town over and he usually goes with us. It works for us.) SugarBug, however was distraught, "I go Sunday School! I go Sunday School!" So, I stayed home with Bear and SD took the other two to church.

No more than half an hour after they left, Bear: the boy who hates to nap, told me that he wanted to go take a nap in my bed. I was all for that. So we laid down at 10:00. He didn't get up until 2:00! By then, SD had gotten the kids home, gotten Bug in bed for his nap, fixed SugarPlum's lunch and gotten her to go read in her room. Yes, he's that good!

When Bear woke up, his fever was over 101. He was all droopy and didn't want the curtains open or the light on in the living room, he said "It's makin' me a headache." I hate seeing him like that. He ate a pretty good dinner that night, surprisingly enough. But by 7:15 he was ready to go to bed. Everyone was in bed by 8:00 Sunday night.

Monday morning at about 5:00, Bear comes into our room, "Mommy! My head hurts very bad!" I took his temperature. 102.8. I gave him some motrin and tucked him in bed with us. He had those fever "jitters" for about half an hour and finally fell back to sleep. And then he slept. And slept and slept and slept. I went in and checked on him several times. Bug asked about him, "Where's Bear?" and I had to keep reminding him that Bear was sleeping. A couple of times, I would shake him a little to make him stir. I was that worried.

I had decided that Bear had meningitis. Hey! Fever, headache, light aversion=meningitis! SD asked if I had called the pediatric clinic. But I didn't want to be that crazy woman calling to say that her child has meningitis. I spoke with the Queen, whose daughter actually HAD viral meningitis once while staying at my house. Although, to be fair, we didn't know that the Princess had meningitis until after they had gotten to Tucson several days later. Yeah, that was a fun phone call for the Queen to make!

[And could I just say meningitis a few more times? meningitis meningitis meningitis. There. That's better. *sheesh*]

Anyway, she told me the leg lift thing that the Dr. did to diagnose the m********* (I'm done saying it). I resolved to use this bit of knowledge if and when Bear woke up. I went upstairs to check on Bear again and made him actually open his eyes for me. Which he did, begrudgingly, for a moment and went right back to sleep. At least I knew he wasn't comatose.

So, Bug and I hung out all Monday morning. Finally, it was naptime. I got Bug down for a nap and went and laid down with Bear in my bed. It was about 11:00. At 11:40, Bear rolled over, kissed me on the cheek and said, "Good morning, Mommy!"

Then he noticed it was bright in the room and asked where Bug was. I told him he had slept a long, long time, that Bug was taking a nap and it was lunch time. To which he replied, "Oh, no! I wanted to eat breakfast!

I assured him that he could eat breakfast if he wanted to and we went downstairs and fixed pancakes. Which I burned. Shut. up.

So for the past couple of days, he has been feverish and headachy. I was able to rule out M********, and moved on to Bubonic Ebola (thank you, Mir). What else could it be? After three days of fever, I did schedule an appointment for him at the base pediatric clinic with yet another provider we have never seen. This makes....well I've lost count now, but as I've said before there is NO continuity of care in the military and it makes me crazy.

This morning, of course, Bear had no real fever and he was in a good mood. I honestly considered cancelling his appointment, but I have played that game before and lost. I knew that as soon as I cancelled he would spike a fever of 103. So, we went to the clinic and saw a doctor (or probably nurse practitioner) whose first name, I swear, was "Anemone." She was perfectly fine, though. She listened to him breathe, looked in his ears, nose, mouth. She agreed with me that his throat was red and swollen but that it didn't look like strep. She decided to do a swab, "just in case" more to rule it out than anything.

Do I have to tell you that it was positive? Because, duh, it was. These children have my genes. All you have to do is whisper, "strep" and my body says, "Oh! Strep? Yes, we are good at strep! Watch!!" So, yes, as soon as she mentioned strep test his throat was all geared up.

Now, we are home with penicillin. Which, by the way, ranks right up there as one of the more vile liquid medicines. Any "cherry" flavored medicine is usually gross and generally abhorred around these parts. I should have asked for the pill form, but it never even occurred to me at the time.

Bear took a pretty good nap as did Bug. Neither of the other two kids is showing signs of illness - yet. I'm pretty sure that they are waiting until Friday night. We have a babysitter coming so that SD and I can have a date night. (I was even contemplating shaving my legs!) Those kids always conspire to ruin that for us. Ungrateful brats.

Then again, my throat heard that "s" word at the doctors' office today, too, and it's starting to tingle. So date night may be a pipe dream after all. I have a funny feeling that the only action SD will be seeing in the bedroom this weekend will be bringing me motrin and salt water to gargle!

More week of nothing to post.....

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior...

...but not you. I don't see you weak, ignorant, or inferior. Nope, not you! You. Rock.

What Temperment Are You?

I'm such a weirdo

So, a looooong time ago, Diva P over at Diva Spot tagged me with this Five Weird Things meme. I've been a little preoccupied, but I have finally gotten it done. I am supposed to tell you five weird things about me. I'm not sure if there is anything left. **warning overuse of parentheses ahead**

1. Pretty much as soon as I come home, I take off my (very small) bra. I hate to have one on any longer than necessary.

2. I make up goofy songs all day long for my kids. About everything. To all kinds of tunes. Beethoven to Barney, I have my own words to go with the tunes.

3. I can't watch only part of a television show or movie. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. Even if it's really bad, I have to see the end. And even if it's a show I really wanted to see, I don't like to come in in the middle, I want to see it from the beginning. I'm the reason God made TiVo.

4. I love black olives. I will eat them straight from the can. In high school my best friend, K, and I would snack on olives during a movie rather than popcorn. (At home, not in the theater. It's hard to fit a can of olives (and a can opener) in your purse with all the beer. (kidding))

5. I can go to sleep anywhere, any time. Until about 9:30 at night. Then, forget it. I'm up till at least midnight. Midnight is going to bed early for me. It's insane.


So there you have it. Sorry it took me so long, Diva. I am also supposed to tag five people, so...Christine needs something to welcome her home; Cori I owe you a tag; Ammie and LOOK! you're so fast, you already have it done. AMAZING!; I also owe Peaches a tag; and....The Goober Queen, because I just can't get enough of your weirdness, girlfriend!

Monday Morning

Is that a trumpet I hear?

From what I can tell at this moment, it looks like Seattle is going to the Super Bowl.

Isn't that a sign of the Apocalypse??

Boys are so dumb

Just a quick shopping rant...

A note to the (very nice) little old people at Meijer this week:

It is neither quick nor easy for you to use the self check out if you do not know what you are doing and refuse to learn. If you would like to figure out how to do the self check out system, please do so at a time when there are not many, many people waiting (and waiting and waiting and waiting...) to check out. Perhaps a Tuesday morning around 10ish.

Thanks for your consideration.

I never realized this was an issue

I finally used my new mixer again earlier in the week to make chocolate chip cookies with the kids. As we were enjoying the fruits of our labor, Bug told me:

"I YIKE cookies, Mommy! I not yike snails. Snails are yucky! I not want to eat snails."


Oooooooookay.

The Truth Shall Set You Free subtitled: The defecation has officially hit the oscillator **updated!**

I will warn you, dear readers and friends, that this is a post that I never wanted or intended to write. But circumstances have warranted me addressing this situation directly at this time.

You may recall a month ago, my Kaboom post. I posted it the day that SD admitted to me that he had been having an affair for six months. I was shocked, horrified, devastated, angry, furious, (please recall the sander reference from a recent post), you get the idea. With the help of some very good friends, I made it through those first few days. And SD survived intact through those first few days.

I had a hard time hearing all of the facts, but hear them I did, each and every one of them. I heard how he met with her on four separate occasions. About how they talked on the phone for hours and hours. (She was an old friend from his childhood. The fact that he was speaking to her on the phone was not a problem to me. I trusted him.) They exchanged emails and letters containing various fantasies; some about leaving their spouses and running away together. No, none of that was easy to hear. In fact, it was gut wrenching.

I was numb for several days. SD was convinced that I was going to leave him. Many of my friends were appalled that I hadn't left him. But, I love that man. And nearly thirteen years ago, we made a vow to be with each other for better or for worse. Well, here was the worse.

SD apologized over and over. He told me that he realized how much he loves me and how much he has to lose. He went to talk to his priest. He did backslide and emailed Hester (that's my name for "her") and I caught him. That is the one time that I thought I might leave. It is the one time I did yell. And my friends were all very proud of me.

But, still, the main underlying thing was (and is) that I love him. And he loves me. Even if he forgot for a minute. So, right after Christmas, we started marriage counseling with my Pastor. He was not soft on SD. He said SD was a lucky man that I am willing to stay, because I have Biblical basis to leave the marriage. He said that SD must earn my trust back. SD agreed that this was true and that he would do whatever is necessary to earn my trust and love. We have been working so hard. There have been no more secrets. I have the passwords to all of his email accounts and I know where he is at all times. We have a joke about him getting a personal Lo*Jack system. I know about all of his phone calls and he knows about any phone calls that bother me (this means YOU).

He is owning up to his mistakes. He is accepting the consequences as they come: the friends we can't visit on vacation because right now they can't stand the sight of him, the awkward feelings during television shows when a joke is made about infidelity, and all of the other things that happen a million times a day that he never considered when he was in the midst of this affair. He is "owning" this problem, and I am proud of that part, at least. He tries so hard every day to show me how much he loves me. And I am beginning to trust him again. And I never stopped loving him. Honestly, our marriage is in a better place than it has been in many, many years. I am not glad that this happened, but since it did, I am proud of what how we have handled it.

So, why did I need to tell you this? Because, some people don't think that SD has suffered enough, evidently. And in order for him to suffer, I must suffer as well, I guess. Hester's husband, whom I like to call Chester (because we like rhyming things in our house) can't seem to let this go and focus his energy on rebuilding his marriage. He has repeatedly threatened my husband in different ways, so much so that I am ready to call the police if it doesn't stop. He apparently feels the need to take time out from his law practice several times a day to check my humble little mommy blog (I see you on my stat-counter...big brother is watching, Chester!), and he is not pleased that I am so happy with my husband! In fact, just yesterday he sent an email to SD threatening to post excerpts from one of those scandalous letters in my comments section. And that is the straw that has broken the camel's back. So, to you Chester, I say BRING IT ON.

It's out there. I know it. All. You may think that I am some frail, pathetic, blonde dingbat. But I have news for you, Chester. I am strong. I am a military wife. I am a Texan. I am a mommy. There is very little you can do or say to me that I can't handle. I can kick ass and take names. And if I start to falter, I have friends from all over this beautiful country, hell, from all over this WORLD who are ready and standing by to come and back me up. Trust me, you really don't want to go there.

So, Chester, perhaps you need to focus your energy on your own marriage and fixing what is broken there. It's not me you are mad at. I didn't do anything to you. But when you and your batshit crazy sister-in-law start calling MY house and trying to dictate what I do in MY life and what I write in MY blog, that's when you people have gone TOO FAR.

We'll take care of this end of the problem. You take care of things in your house. Leave us alone. Perhaps, in the end, we can all live happily ever after. And if that is the case, maybe none my family will ever have to hear from your family ever, ever again.

I wish you all nothing but happiness. Truly. I am not a nasty, bitter person. But don't piss me off.

And to the rest of you...thank you for reading this and supporting me. I have said it before, but you all are the best. Well...most of you are anyway

Hot & Bothered

So, I'm hosting a Pampered Chef show at my house Thursday evening. If you have been visiting here very long at all, you know that I struggle with housekeeping. I am not good at it at all. So, it was a difficult decision to go ahead and do anything in which I have to invite actual people inside my actual home. My addiction to all things Pampered Chef won out, however. It has been well over a year since my last show and I have been going through withdrawal.

My handsome hunk of a husband says to me earlier, the sexiest thing a man could ever say to me. Are you ready for this??

"What do you need for me to do to help you get ready for your party? What do you want me to clean first?"

Couldn't you just die happy right now??

I'll be back later. I think I need a cigarette.

Happy Birthday Christine!!!

I hope it fits.

The rest of you... go over to Mommy Matters and wish Christine a Happy 31st Birthday. When she gets back from Disney World tonight, she'll be happy to see that we were all thinking of her!!

Hooray for crazy pills!

I may be jinxing this, but Bear is finally feeling much better. Thanks for all of your well wishes and prayers. I've been drugging him pretty heavily at the past few nights so that he will get some good sleep. Believe it or not, he has. No one is more surprised than me at this, because this sort of plan usually backfires on me. I am going to back off the cough syrup some tonight, though, as to not become dependent on it for his sleep.

One odd thing that has happened is that my four year old son has become a pill-popper. I had been giving him chewable benadryl at bedtime to ease the flow of snot. I can't give him sudafed at night because it keeps him up. Add to that albuterol and decadron and he'd really be ready to par-tay. Anyway, when we got home from the ER the other night after the pokies, I gave him some benadryl (the doctor okayed it). I was out of the chewable kind and Bear hates the liquid (can you blame him?!). But I did have the capsules that SD and SugarPlum and I take. I read the dosage and realized that one capsule was the same as two chewables, which is what Bear takes (yes, he weighs that much!). So, I asked him if he thought he could take a pill and he thought it sounded crazy, but better than the nasty "cherry" flavored crap, so he tried it. He did great, better than some adults I know. And now that's the only way he wants to take it. Bizarre.

So, since the second trip to the ER, the boys have been cooped up in the house. Fun! They have been inventing new and exciting ways to make Mommy scream. What scares them the most, I have found, is when I don't scream, but just sit on the couch and glare.

After they had dumped out every damned toy we ever owned and even somehow made some new toys materialize (I still don't know how they did that) in the family room and spread them all over in big, giant toy and debris mountains, I asked, begged, pleaded, demanded and yelled at them to clean up the mess already. After an hour of looks that said "Que? No hablas English," I gave up. I sat down upon the couch and started playing my handheld solitaire game.

That is how SD found me when he came downstairs. He said, "Hey, guys! Lets get these toys picked up!" And Bear said, "Okay!" and started picking up.

What the hell was that??

I just sat there and played my solitaire game and watched the show. SD looked at me oddly a few times as he and Bear picked up. Bug would have no part of it, other than to sing the Barney "Clean Up" song a few times. That is his big contribution to cleaning up most of the time. Everybody needs a cheerleader. It's a good thing he's so cute, or he'd be dead meat. Anyway, Bear and his daddy got things straightened up and I finally told SD that I was sorry that I was just sitting there watching. That it was either that or I would explode into apoplexy once again and frighten the children and neighbors with my shrieking. Given the choice, I went with option A: retreat into my solitaire game. SD agreed that it was probably the smart way to go. The good thing about upping my crazy pills is that I was able to see that option and make that choice. Before, I would have just screamed.

My husband loves me. Thank heaven. He puts up with my crazies and understands and makes allowances. Of course, I make allowances for his stuff, too. I suppose he is lucky this isn't one of those "Why My Husband is a Putz" blogs, because BOY could I go on. (If you ever meet him, ask him about the threat of the power sander.) But, really, I am a lucky woman to be married to this man. We have had a rough time lately, but we are muddling our way through. He is a blessing to me and my craziness. And I love him more and more every day!

Like my new shirt? *updated*

just to clarify...I am NOT having a baby, just an ever-widening ass. If I was pregnant, they would have to be finding me a maternity straight jacket.

Who let the Dogs Out? redux

My Thursday night? Take my Tuesday night. Add pokies. And that pretty much sums it up.

Yes, another round of Musical Viruses.

It was well over 50 degrees and sunny here yesterday, so I shooed the boys outside to play for a while. Not that it took much effort on my part. There was mud, of course, so a stern"no playing in the mud puddles" followed by the obligatory "yes ma'am"s that were promptly forgotten, had to take place. But the boys were glad to escape from the house for a while. They didn't do much running, more stalking of the dogs and investigating of bugs and rocks and mud and slime.

While they boys were occupied, I seized the opportunity to sort through our wrapping paper fiasco. With SugarPlum's birthday falling so close to Christmas, all of the wrapping paper and bags always seem to get crammed together in one box. Which means that any other time of year when you need to wrap a gift, you must sort through all of the Christmas crap to find a "Happy Birthday" bag. I finally got that disaster under control (almost) and it only required one trip to Meijers and one trip to Target! Amazing. (Also amazing, I made it out of Target at well under $100. Miracles never cease!)

Both of the boys seemed to be doing so much better yesterday. In fact, we had been coaxing Bear into the idea of going back to school today, since he had been home for the past two and seems to be enjoying it a little too much. We got everybody ready for bed and settled Bear in for his breathing treatment before his bedtime story. He was very tired, as he had not had a nap or much of a rest really. His cough had started to pick up some, but I chalked it up to end of the day stuff and gave him some Benedryl. Of course you know the rest of this story. I made my decision to go to the ER a little earlier last night, though.

The doctor last night kept calling Bear "Love Bug." He finally giggled and said "I'm not Bug! I'm Bear!"

She decided to give Bear an injection of decadron rather than give it orally. Bear was not pleased. When the nurse came in with the shot, he asked Bear, " Do you want me to give you this in your bottom or in your leg?"

Bear replied, "No."

Smart answer if you ask me.

In the end (no pun intended), he got the shot in his leg while sitting in my lap. He was very brave and didn't cry much at all. I promised candy afterward. Normally, the deal in our family is that if you get a shot, you get ice cream, but as there are no 24 hour Baskin Robbins in our parts, the gummy candy in my purse had to suffice. (It was a "gummy donut." Have you ever heard of such a thing?!) We also called Gray Gray and Gram for moral support after the pokie. Thank heaven for cell phones.

Bear was happy to get to sleep in Mommy & Daddy's bed last night. I felt it was the least I could do for a little guy who had to get a big old nasty shot in the middle of the night.

So, now I second my request. I'm sipping my PG Tips right now, but a CDL would really hit the spot!

Make it stop! Make it stop!!

I ask you....

What kind of sick, sadistic SOB music teacher sends a third grader home with a recorder and tells her to practice??? Some sort of parent-hater, best I can tell.

Calgon, take me away!!!

Because Ben dared me to do it..

envelobox

I can't resist a dare!

The Game that Nobody Wins subtitled: Who let the dogs out?!

Winter up here has meant a great deal of indoor time for us. My kids don't like indoor time. They are outdoor-roll-in-the-mud-make-hay-while-the-sun-shines sort of kiddos. So this indoor stuff has been hard on them. It has meant more puzzles and board (or b-o-r-e-d, depending on when you are asking) games. One other game that has been going around, though, is a little one I like to call "Musical Viruses."

I'm sure you have played this or a variation of it at your house. It starts out with one person - usually someone of school-going age - bringing home an exotic germ. First one child gets sick then the next then you all fall like dominoes. Just when you think you have gotten the last family member on the road to recovery, the virus mutates slightly and strikes again. This time with a vengeance. OR one of the children begs to go back to school and brings home a new and improved germ with which to infect his loved ones.

And so it goes for weeks and months until you are able to send every one of their sick little bodies out into the sunshine for several days. Because it's not a cliche for nothing folks, sunshine is the best disinfectant. That and it gives Mom a chance to fumigate the house with Lysol and Oust!

So, this is the game we have been playing in our house since before Christmas. You'll recall Bear's multiple infections, SugarPlum's pneumonia, Bug's ear infection that finally got diagnosed...

The very day Gray Gray got home from Ohio, he went straight to the doctor because he had been having trouble breathing. He was given steroid shots, chest x-rays and some extra heavy duty asthma medicine. Sure enough, by Sunday night, Bug had a nasty cough and high fever. The doctor called it viral (my suspicion as well) and prescribed rest and lots of fluid. I knew that, but I needed confirmation that it wasn't pneumonia after the SugarPlum diagnosis.

Last night, I had everyone doped up and in bed. I was just getting ready to settle in to watch Boston Legal when I hear barking. "What are the dogs barking at?" I ask SD.

"The dogs are right here," he replies.

"Then when did we get a seal?"

Oh, crap, it was Bear.

Or, more accurately..

Oh, CROUP it was Bear.

"Bark bark bark! Mommy...my can't breave. It horts when my coughs."

So, I steam up the bathroom and Bear and I have some "snuggle and breathe time" while SD gets the nebulizer set up. Because, of course, it is a foregone conclusion at this point that the child will need some albuterol. I try to avoid going straight to the steroids but only once has the steamy bathroom/cool night air combo worked all by itself. After the "breaving treatment," Bear seems much better and I get him tucked back in.

Thank heaven for TiVo. I get back to James Spader and Boston Legal (and Micheal J Fox - he's really not looking great is he? do you think it was just for this part or is he just looking that bad?) About midnight I hear the barking again. I go up to check on him. I prop an extra pillow under his head, check the humidifier, and resolve to listen. It is still two hours until he can have another breathing treatment.

By 1:00, his barking/coughing is nearly out of control and I can tell he is having trouble breathing. He is wheezing and I can hear a strider. Definite constricted airway. I tell Bear that I am taking him to the doctor and poor boy just says "Nooooo! I don't want pokies!" You know we have done this more than once right? But you can also tell that he really can't breathe because he doesn't put up much of a fight.

SD helps me bundle Bear into the car and, once I find my military i.d., we are off. We got right in at the ER. I was pleasantly surprised, I must say. They took us right back. Bear was slightly dismayed when, moments after they got us to a bed, a little boy across the way started crying because he was getting shots. I tried to be reassuring, but I also didn't want to make any promises I couldn't keep.

The nurse looked just like Dora the Explorer & she knew it. The kids in the ER liked it and would call for her, "Hey Dora?!" It was cute. Bear was quietly amused. He sat and did activities in this preschool workbook I brought to keep him occupied. Worked like a charm. He was an angel boy. Nothing like a little respiratory virus to keep 'em in line!

When the doctor came in, Bear was lovely and charming. He opened his mouth, breathed like a yoga instructor, coughed just enough to not make me look stupid (you know what I mean!) and did everything the doctor told him.

The doctor said that his lungs sounded clear, but agreed that his airway was constricted and that I was right to bring him into the ER. I was relived to hear this, because I always second guess myself on ER visits and whether they will do more harm than good. But I try not to mess around when it comes to breathing.

Bear was VERY pleased when the doc declared his intention to give the decadron orally rather than by injection. "No pokies?!"

Nurse Dora brought the dose of medicine in along with a bottle of Sprite. She pored a little of the soda one of those little doser cups (the ones we used to make jello shots in when I partied with hospital people shortly after SD & I got married) and mixed the medicine with the sprite because it tasted so bad she said. Bear was positively giddy. No shot (ha!) AND he got to drink soda? This night was getting better and better!

We finally got home at about 3:00, which was really only about an hour and half after we left. Best timing for an ER trip I have ever had! I gave Bear one more breathing treatment. SD offered to sleep in the guest room so that Bear could sleep with me. So, I got Night Night (his blanket) and Bear (Bear's bear) and set the humidifier up in my room and finally settled in bed at 3:45. Of course, being hopped up on steroids, Bear was feeling chatty, so it was a while before we were actually asleep!

SD got up with Bug and SugarPlum this morning and let me sleep until he had to get ready for work. He only has the one class, so he is coming home to let me nap later. Until then, can somebody run to Starbucks and grab a venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte for me? It's gonna be a looooooong morning!

Truck seen on I-75

After we passed this guy, I made SD slow down so that I could take the picture. Two weeks later, I'm still laughing!!!

HeeeLLLLoooooOOOOOOOooooo!!!!

Oh, come on, you know you're out there. I know you're out there. I see you on my Statcounter (gasp! Big Brother is watching. Or is it Big Sister?). So, step on out of the shadows and say hello! The lovely and talented Sheryl over at Paper Napkin has declared this National De-Lurking Week.

I appreciate all of you who come and read all of my silly mommy-ness every week. I'd love to know who you are. Let me know what you like or what you don't like. But be nice please, SugarPlum has been extra good lately at telling me what she doesn't like and I'm a little trigger happy. You don't have to leave your email if you don't want, but if you do, I promise to send a thank you note. My mom raised me right!

Plllleeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzeeeeeeee??????!!!!!!!!!!??????!!!!

Sweet Nothings from SugarBear

As Gram and Gray Gray's departure neared, everyone was feeling pretty sad about it. Bear, remembering the "good old days" when we lived in Texas and they visited almost weekly, told me this:

Mommy, we need to move back to Texas because that is where Gram and Gray can get to us "the quickly-est."

No Joy In Candyland

**I've finally posted Christmas pictures over at Flickr for anyone who is still interested. This one is my favorite.

Well, the birthday-ing is all done. SugarPlum's big day was drawn out into two due to the big kick-off of the annual Girl Scout Cookie Sale for our council. (If you are in need of cookies, let me know, I can hook you up!) The Girl Scouts in our town all got together at the local roller skating rink to taste cookies and get their sales packets. This is SP's first year as a Brownie. I never could get in touch with the troop leader at her last school. We were in a big Campfire town before (not that there's anything wrong with that!)

Anywho, we decided to delay the birthday dinner and presents until Friday so that she could enjoy them more. Also, since Friday was Gray Gray & Gram's last day in town (their plane left at 6:15 this morning), we thought that maybe it would take some of the sadness out of the evening.

I did surprise SugarPlum a new "birthday outfit" to wear to school Thursday, a sparkly sweater and purple cords with rhinestone accents. I also told her that I would send a treat - cookies or cupcakes or something - to school to share with her class to celebrate her day. She said she'd like some thing homemade. Maybe some Break & Bake cookies or something. She said she likes cupcakes, but she knows you can't make those at home. You know, that's crazy, making homemade cupcakes. Right Mir? I'm glad I've set the bar so low.

Bear decided that he and I needed to go to "the birthday cake store" to get SugarPlum a cake. I had originally planned to make her one myself, but Bear was intent on picking one out for her, so I complied. Hey, it saved me some time! I drove him to the little bakery at the corner and we picked a cake called "Sinfully Chocolate" and it was beautiful and delicious!

SugarPlum requested Smothered Chicken for her birthday dinner. Not just smothered chicken, though, but Gram's smothered chicken. For some reason, however, Gram decided to put rice in the smothered chicken this time. Actually, I thought it was delicious. SugarPlum, however, was devastated and burst into tears as soon as it hit her plate. I'm pretty sure that it had little to do with chicken or rice and more with Gram and Gray leaving the next morning.

After supper, we moved on to presents. She got a book of Madagascar Mad Libs, a Cyberchase CD Rom game, a Weather Calendar, a set of lavender wheeled luggage, an Illustory kit and a digital camera. Yes. The girl made out!

By bed time she was boohooing. She snuggled Gram for a long time telling "Red Feather Stories" with Bear, where they pass a red feather between the three of them telling a story and stopping when they pass the feather. This can go on for hours and they love it.

SugarPlum finally went up to her bed at about 10:00 last night and Gram snuggled her until she fell asleep. Everyone has been okay today, if a little sad. I've had a nasty migraine. Gram & Gray Gray made it home safely and even got in early. That was a comfort. We miss them very much. We are looking forward to seeing them in April at B2B's wedding and then in May when they come for the boy's birthdays.

I guess that now Christmas is officially and completely over. Things will return to normal. Whatever that is. Lots of news to come over the next few weeks. Not sure if it will be good, bad or indifferent, but it will be news nonetheless!

Okay fine, here's a meme

Deputy's Wife tagged me with another meme. Geez, woman! You're lucky that I needed an easy post!

Four jobs you've had in your life:

1. Kindergarten Teacher
2. Waitress at El Chico (fajita skillets make burn marks on your neck that look like hickeys. That's my story & I'm sticking to it)
3. Shoe Salesgirl at Lady Footlocker (those green & white striped double-knit polyester"referee" shirts were oh-so attractive and comfortable)
4. Wet Nurse (okay just here, for my kids, but I really think I'm due some compensation!)


Four Movies that you would watch over and over:

1. An Affair to Remember
2. Cheaper by the Dozen (the original)
3. Shawshank Redemption
4. West Side Story

Four TV shows you love to watch:

1. Boston Legal (James Spader is yummy here!)
2. Project Runway (put a bunch of designers in a room together & watch the sparks fly!)
3. Grey's Anatomy (Dr. McDreamy. *sigh*)
4. Super Nanny (Validating my parenting skills every Friday night)


Four places you have been on vacation:

1. Italy
2. Belgium
3. Turkey
4. Jamaica

Four websites you visit daily: (I visit about 857 sites daily, please don't get your feelings hurt!)

1. This Mom Blogs
2. Crouching Mommy, Hidden Laundry
3. Baby Faith
4. Mommy Matters

Four of your favorite foods:

1. Knorr Spinach Dip
2. Chocolate Chip cookies
3. Shrimp Creole
4. Nacho Cheese Doritos

Four places you would rather be right now:

1. Someplace
2. warmer
3. than
4. Ohio!

I'm not tagging anyone tonight. It would require more effort than I have energy!

Happy Birthday SugarPlum!!

All my life I wanted to be a mommy. I contemplated careers - teacher, psychologist, nurse. But I always, always knew that I wanted to be mommy.

After I got married, we wisely waited a couple of years. But I was aching for a baby. SD was gone for several months in the second year of our marriage and we agreed that after he got back and we moved, we would start "trying." I was terrified that I would be infertile.

Fortunately, I come from fertile stock and I was pregnant within two months. I wanted a girl more than I cared to admit to anyone. When I finally got my twenty week ultrasound, the baby would not cooperate and show us if it was a girl or a boy. I was so frustrated.

Everyone who looked at me told me I was carrying I was "carrying like a boy." A friend called and said that she had a dream that I was having a boy. I had totally convinced myself that the baby was a boy, probably so that I wouldn't be disappointed when it wasn't a girl.

My due date was January 12. By Christmastime I was so over being pregnant. I was ready to have that baby and I was ready to have it NOW. Except that I needed to finish the nursery.

Finally, at 4 a.m. on January 4th I woke up having contractions. I called the hospital and they told me when to go in. SD and I called my parents to tell them that I was in labor and would likely have the baby that weekend. They were on the next plane to North Carolina.

And so I walked. And walked and walked and walked. When the contractions seemed to be about five minutes apart, SD took me to the hospital, which was tiny. The maternity ward had two labor rooms. The nurse checked me and I was dilated to two. How disappointing.

So she gave me a giant jug of water to drink and? I walked. And walked and walked and walked. I walked all the around the tiny hospital four times. then the nurse (who also happened to live in my neighborhood and be in the OWC with me) checked me again. I was now dilated to...two. Damn it.

So, they sent me home. And I cried. I was so disappointed. I got home, our friend brought my parents from the airport. I tried to sleep with little success. Finally, shortly after midnight, I told SD to take me to the hospital, that I wasn't going back. When we got there, I was dilated to three and a half. They had pity on me and let me stay. They called the midwife in and she approved the epidural. She will always be my hero. At about 2:00a.m. I got the epidural and immediately curled into a ball and went to sleep. Two hours later, the nurse came in and told me that my contractions had stopped and that they would have to discontinue my epidural. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

At that point, the midwife came in to check me and I was at....TEN! YAY!!! Time to push. Of course, by then, it was a shift change, and with all of the nurses being in OWC, I was the morning show. I had SD on one side, my mom on the other and the entire nursing staff sitting in the floor, watching.

After an hour and a half of pushing, the baby arrived. I was ready to meet my little boy. So when the midwife said, "It's a girl!" I asked, "Are you sure?!"

She laughed, "Yeah, I've been doing this for a while now. I almost never get it wrong!"

Oh, she was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid my eyes on. These lovely deep eyes that looked at me as if to say, "So there you are! I wondered what you looked like." I knew right then that she was an old soul. My Angel Girl.

From that moment, I couldn't even imagine my life before her in it. She was everything I had hoped for and dreamed of. She is the smartest, funniest, most spiritual, clever, joyful, loving child that has ever walked the earth.

Nine years ago today, my world changed. And I thank God every single day for that. I am the luckiest Mommy in the world.

I had a beautiful picture of my SugarPlum to put here but stupid Blogger won't upload it. I will try again later for now, look at all of the lovely ones in my Flickr sets!

Watch Your Back

We are a dog family. I have almost always had dogs. We all like cats, we think that cats are nice animals and we enjoy seeing other people's cats. But SD is allergic to cats, so that precludes our owning a cat ourselves. This fact troubled SugarPlum when she was younger because not only did she want to own a cat, she really wanted to be a cat.

Recently, Bear has decided that he would really like it if we could have a cat. He was very disappointed to find out that we couldn't. I tried to give him many reasons why: we have dogs who wouldn't be nice to a cat, the whole litterbox thing (ew!), and, of course, cats make Daddy sick.

So, a few days ago, Bear and I are snuggling on the couch and he asks me, "Mommy, when Daddy is dead, can we get a cat?"


ummmmmmm...........

Health Care, Explained for 2006

I am posting this today for Kris, The Goober Queen, who has been having a hell of a time with her health insurance folks as of late.


Q. What does HMO stand for?

A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.
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Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories--those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.
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Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

A. No. Only those you need.
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Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment

.---------------------------------------------

Q What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment

.---------------------------------------------

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?

A. Poke yourself in the eye.

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Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

A. You really shouldn't do that.

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Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?

A. Hard to say, but considering that all your risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

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Q. Will health care be different in the next century?

A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

2006 - So far, so good

Happy New Year, y'all!

So far, 2006 has been going well. I have only been called upon to write the year once - on my tithe check at church this morning - but I got it right on the first try! I was very impressed with myself. I'm quite certain that I won't be so lucky the rest of the month. Actually, I do pretty well for most of January. For some reason, it's usually sometime about February that I get lazy and slip back into writing the old year. Fortunately for me, it is much easier to turn a five into a six than it was to turn a four into a five. (think about that for a minute if you need to)

So, did you all have a fabulous New Year's Eve?? We were actually invited to two parties this year. Aren't you jealous? We are sooooooooo popular. Whatever. Anyway, one was a family "pajama party" at a friend's house. That was the one I was more inclined to go to, but SD really didn't know anybody at that party and the people there were all about ten years younger than us. The other party was a sorta surprise 40th birthday party for a guy in SD's class. I say "sorta" surprise because he pretty much knew that his wife was having a birthday party for him and that it was a masquerade party, but he didn't know that all of their family would be there, so that was pretty cool. She sent him to Meijer in his court jester costume (tights & all!) while his family showed up. He was happy to see them.

SD & I were undecided until the last minute as to whether we were going or not. We didn't really have "costumes." Luckily most everybody was of the same mind, so a friend went to a costume shop and bought us masks. Black "Lone Ranger-"type masks for the guys and black & white feathered masks for the ladies. Of course, I had to wear mine over my glasses if I wished to see, so that added to the elegance. I wore a black evening gown and SD wore his tux. No, we totally forgot to take pictures, sorry,

I realized, though, that wearing the evening gown meant that I would have to shave my legs. Ugh. That meant removing the protective layer of fur that I have been growing for the past....you really don't want to know how long. Let's just say on nights when there was nothing on TV, you could braid it. Anyway, now my legs are going to be cold again.

And? The evening gown dips very low in the back. so none of my (very small) bras were wearable with it and I was NOT venturing out for another edition of "Humiliations in the Lingerie Section" just to buy a backless bra. Those things are the instruments of the devil as it is. So...I tried the band aid trick. And, it was perfect. A little itchy, but better than the alternative.

Enough about my chest. How's your chest?

The kiddos stayed here with Gray Gray & Gram, perrenial NYE babysitters. Just before we left for the evening, they had popped popcorn and were picking a movie. The grandparents were excited to see that we had March of the Penguins. I tried to warn them about how boring it was, but they were determined that they wanted to see it.

When we got home later, I was validated by their "Holy cow! You weren't kidding!!" They stopped it about half an hour in and (Holli stop reading now) they put in Finding Nemo . Of course this means that the boys ended up staying up waaaaay past their bedtime. Fortunately, for once, this also meant that they slept in a little later. That never happens.

Today, we actually saw the sun for a few minutes. SD and Gray Gray took the kids to the park for a few minutes. It was only a few minutes though because although the sun was indeed shining, the temperature never got above 46 degrees and it was breezy. Everybody needed hot chocolate upon their return home. I don't need to hear about all of your warm weather, Karin, Angel, Erin, Ben, and anybody else down where the weather is beautiful and warm.

SO! Once again...Happy New Year to each and every one of you. Thank you for reading my little blog. I have had fun so far the past six months. I am looking forward to the next six months!

Just stick band aids on 'em already stop & your whining...

Our getaway was just what we needed. We came back refreshed, revived, and closer than we have been in a long time. Our marriage seems to be getting back on track. Amazing what just 24 hours alone can do for you. I feel like I am falling in love with my husband all over again. How sappy that looks when I type it.

I had to pack quickly Wednesday before we left. We had an appointment to get to and I had slept in. Bug was finally feeling better but he is on this "Daddy Daddy Daddy" kick where I can do nothing for him. So, when it came time for his nap, Daddy had to put him down, because Mommy was no good! This has never happened to me. The other two have had their "Mommy only" times, but never "Daddy only." It's bizarre to me. (and I don't like it, but I'm not supposed to admit that so let's just keep it between you and me, okay?!)

Anyway, I packed so quickly that I didn't pack the right color bra. I wore a brown sweater and so, I had on a white bra. The other sweaters I had packed were off-white. And we all know that you can't wear a white bra with an off white sweater. Okay guys, you are just going to have to trust me on this one, it's just not done. A girl just ends up looking bad. This is so NOT the point of this post, it is just getting us to the point of this post.

So, I drag SD all over the mall looking for a bra that fit. The problem is that I stopped nursing Bug a month ago and am left with very little in the mammary area, ifyougetmydrift. We started at Victoria's Secret. They didn't have anything small enough. Okay, let me clarify. They didn't have anything comfortable and affordable that was small enough for me. I really didn't feel like paying $40 for an underwire bra that I don't like just because it's the right color. Besides, the dressing rooms were all full and I didn't feel like waiting.

Next, we went to Macy's and their lingerie dept had a whole bargain bin of bras for only $9.99. So, I tried on a 36A and a 38A and both were way too big. How embarrassing.

Next, we looked at Sears, a store in which I loathe to shop for myriad reasons I won't bore you with here, because, honestly, this post is boring and wandering enough as it is. Once we found the lingerie dept, SD located the bras for me (he's handy that way). I found those Playtex ones that have the "in between" sizes. I was looking for a 36 or 38 A in a nudish type of color. I ended up grabbing an "almost A" by mistake. Guess which one fit. Uh huh. Yep. Almost A. So, really, I don't need a bra so much a bra as a "bra-lette." Or an undershirt. Very demoralizing.

Then, today, I was at Meijers buying sweatshirts for my kids and looked over at the training bras for girls. Sure enough, there was a size 36. Just for research purposes, I grabbed it.

Yes, of course it fits.

The way I see it, I have two choices. I can be completely shattered about being flat chested and in need of a training bra at best. OR I can be overjoyed at my now "youthful" bustline, knowing that I will not have to worry about having boobs that sag to my knees (remember the scary nekkid lady from the gym?!) and the fact most of the winter I don't have to wear a bra at all. So, I am going with option B. Because I am a glass is half full kind of girl. Or, I guess in this case, I'm a cup is half full kind of girl.

Quick Christmas & Post-Holiday Recap

*New toys - eleventy skrillion

*Kids on antibiotics as of Christmas day- 2

*Kids on antibiotics today- 1 (and he is the one who was NOT on antibiotics at Christmas!)

*Nights I went to bed before midnight- you have GOT to be kidding

*Grandparents in town- 2

*New sleds from said grandparents- 2

*New sets of mini-skis from said grand parents- 1

*Inches of snow on the ground- ZERO

*Number of bored, irritable children who are all still recovering from illness and shouldn't play outside- 3

*Hours until SD and I leave town for a quick getaway - 2

So long suckers!!!

Germ Central

After I posted Bear's pitiful picture the other day, the Goober Queen challenged me to a sick kid smack-down. And, at the time, she was totally winning. Bear is feeling much better, by the way, andwas driving me absolutely bat-shit crazy because hewas b-o-r-e-d. Thanks for all of your nice thoughts and prayers.

But by Wednesday night...SugarPlum was coughing. Not just that little cough cough of someone who has a cold but that down-deep-in-your-chest-can't-quite-inhale-or-exhale-all-the-way cough. My thought? Oh great, bronchitis, I knew I shouldn't have let her play in the snow today. So, SD got up early & started calling the hospital appointment line Thursday morning. (I got to sleep in because one or the other of the boys was up and needed me in there. Honestly I can't remember who anymore, the nights have started to blend together.)

We got to the doctor that afternoon, late of course, and got in rather quickly, surprisingly enough. The pediatrician was someone I had never seen before, but that doesn't come as a shock to me. Continuity of care is unheard of in the military. I saw the same doctor my whole childhood. And when I took my kids to my parents, Dr. Craig would see them as well. It was so nice. I was heartbroken when he retired this fall. Ummm, off the subject???

Anyway! Dr. Ta (really that was his name!) comes in and talks to me, talks to SugarPlum, who keeps telling him, "Well, Mommy says..." like I'm some puppetmaster or something. I tell her to tell him what SHE thinks and feels, not what I think.

He listens to her breathe. No wheezing. That's good. The child does not cough once the whole tome the doctor was in there. All I could think is that this is exactly what happens every time I take my car in for a strange noise, it never make that weird noise for the mechanic. I was sure that the doc was going to tell me that she just has a nasty cold and that the cough is post-nasal drip. Which would be fine except that it just sounded so bad you know?!

Alas, he says to me, "Well, I'm not going to send her for chest films, I'm just going to go ahead and treat this with a five day course of antibiotic."

HUH?? This must have shown on my face, because he then says:

"I heard a little crackle, which tells me that this is am atypical pneumonia. Given that she had the URI for several days before and has had fever, I'm giving antibiotics no matter what, I see no reason to waste your time with a chest x-ray. If, after five days on antibiotics, she shows little improvement, I want her back her on Tuesday, and we will then do films and blood work and see what is going on. So, we got our Zithro*max and went home.

That night, she woke up at about midnight with an earache. I gave her some m*otrin, actifed, and humibid. Then I got her a warm washcloth to put over her ear and laid in her bed with her for a while. She laid there for a long time, moaning in pain. I felt awful for her. There was so little I could do. I tried some of those numbing drops that had been prescribed for Bear a few months ago, but they didn't work. Finally, I told her I was going to check the internet. I googled ear pain, but didn't find much. So, I got on my email and sent out a "Mommy Distress Signal" to several mommy friends (who I thought might be up) asking for any suggestions. Within minutes, I had several responses. It was the coolest thing ever. And it was hilarious to see how many of us have insomnia! Of course, irony of ironies, by the time I got upstairs with the warmed olive oil (thanks Kris!) SugarPlum's ear felt better and she was able to fall asleep.

Earlier afternoon, Bug wouldn't eat and was acting strange. I offered him a smoothie, usually his favorite, and he said it hurt when he drank it and he cried & cried. Back on the phone to make ANOTHER pediatric appointment for Friday. I'm so sick of that place. I took him in Friday afternoon, and after a loooooong wait in the tiny exam room, the nurse practitioner comes in and moves us to another room at the other end of the hall. Whatever. Another person who hasn't seen my child before. Great.

She listened to him breathe. She looked at his eyes. She attempted to look in his mouth, he opened it for a moment only, but long enough for her to see that he didn't have strep throat. Then.....then she tried to look in his ears. Big mistake. He did NOT want her to look in his ears. He screamed and cried and fought and thrashed to avoid letting her look in his ears. She didn't see any sign of infection. Maybe a little fluid, but no infection. She did think that he had the beginnings of pink-eye, so she was putting in a prescription for eye ointment for him. (I was looking forward to that, I wasn't even convinced he had pink eye, had just hadn't slept)

While she was entering the prescriptions, he kept going on & on about his ear, to the point that she started to wonder if maybe he DID have an ear infection. So, she went to get an honest-to-goodness doctor to look in his ear. Great. Bug kept saying "I just wanna go home. I wanna go home!" It was so sad!" I held him down and let the doctor look in Bug's ears. Of course the ears looked great. "Perfect" I believe was the word the doc used.

So, how is everyone feeling now?? SugarPlum is breathing better, but still coughing and her ear is still hurting some. So, she is going to the doctor tomorrow. Bug is a little better. He isn't running as much fever, but he is still out of sorts and still not eating much so he is going back to the doctor tomorrow as well. I don't know what will come of these trips to the pediatrician, but something is just not right here. Maybe it's just Ohio. My kids are just not sick like this.

I'll give you the whole Christmas recap complete with pictures tomorrow. Hopefully everyone will be feeling better soon!

On to tackle the next world crisis

Merry CHRISTmas

THE BIRTH OF JESUS
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria). And everyone went to his own town to register.


So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her first born, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger ."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to the one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen , which were just as they had been told. (Luke 2: 1-20 NIV)

The Soldier's Christmas

Peaches had this posted at her site as well. We both have quite a soft spot for the men and women protecting us over in the desert and all over the world really. God bless you all and Merry Christmas.


The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree, I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem.
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old
Perhaps a soldier, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts,
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night"

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram will always remember."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red white and blue... an American flag.

"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home,
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat,

I can carry the weight of killing another
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother
who stand at the front against any and all,
to ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone.
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled
is payment enough, and with that we will trust.
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.

Merry Christmas!!

Such a Senseless Death

If there were a uniform theme to this post, that would constitute a title, which, logically, would belong HERE

Bear is feeling better, thanks for all of your well wishes. Bug and SugarPlum are showing signs of illness, I am hoping that SP can at least make it through school tomorrow so that she can go to her Christmas party. She has played out in the snow every day for the last week. So, at least if she gets sick, it was worth it.

My Christmas present came today. I am pulling that baby out of the box tomorrow and doing some baking! I have been wanting one for so long. There was a Mervyn's going out of business in Dallas and one of my best friends (the Bride-to-Be) saw it. It was marked down quite a bit, so SD told her to get it for me. I am so excited.

We got all but two gifts mailed off Monday. All but The Queen and the Bride-to Be. But we all have an understanding. Gifts between us get there when they get there. Sometimes, they are on time other times, not so much. It's all good. Actually, the Queen has my gift for the Bride-to-Be. If she hasn't mailed it yet, I may ask her to mail it straight to B2B. Eliminate the middleman. Don't you love this whole stream of consciousness thing I have going with you people? If it weren't for the blog, I'd be walking around talking to myself. This way only YOU know I'm crazy.

I swore I wasn't buying any more presents for the kids. Then I took a look at what I had bought and noticed the great disparity in the number of gifts that SugarPlum and the boys have. She has such exciting diverse interests right now, I have had a blast shopping for her.

And the boys? Oh, the boys. They have just been driving me NUTS with the dumping and dispersing of the toys and crap that I have had a hard time making myself buy them anything. I got them these firefighter backpack hose thingies from Discovery*Toys this summer. You can put water in them but nobody better tell them that okay?! They have had so much fun playing firefighter that I thought they would like them. Now, I'm thinking that I'd like to get them fireman costumes or at least fireman hats. Problem? There are NONE in the Miami Valley, dammit! Of course, had I started looking sooner than the week before Christmas, I might have had better luck.

I got my dad one of those travel alarm clocks that you can record voices on and put a picture in. I'm going to record the kids saying "Cockadoodle doo, Gray Gray!!" because that is how they wake him up whenever he is here and he loves it!

I still don't have much for SD. He may be lucky to get anything. Heh.

I don't know if I have mentioned that my parents are coming on Christmas Day. And staying for two weeks. Did you get that last part? Two weeks, people. They are staying until after SugarPlum's birthday. I'm not sure I can stand that much togetherness. I may have to escape.

Thankfully, I have received a bounty of invitations as of late. If I show up on your doorstep, mumbling incomprehensibly, hand me a glass of wine, sit me down, pat my head and tell me everything will be okay. Just don't make me go back there. Promise?

And as if that weren't enough....

My Bear, he is a sick cub. He has ear infections in BOTH ears and Pink Eye in both eyes. This is in addition to the nasty cold. Or, perhaps, I suppose, as a result of the nasty cold. He got some good antibiotics today. And brother & sister got some eyedrops...just in case.

Doesn't he just look pathetic? And really, this is the best he looked all day.

Honestly, what kind of a twisted mommy posts pictures of her sick kids? He just looks so sweet somehow. In a "don your facemask, shower in Purell" sort of way.

Picking up the Pieces

I need to thank you all for your lovely comments and emails. Your prayers and well wishes are appreciated and needed. I have some of the best friends in the world. Here in the blogosphere and in the "real world." I love y'all.

Everyone here is Candyland is okay. Really. The only injuries are bruised egos and hurt feelings. But we will be okay.

You know that line from Steel Magnolias, " That which does not kill us make us stronger." It is true. The bomb has gone off, but everyone is still standing. And we will all be stronger once the pieces are all back in place. I'm up for the challenge. And I will succeed.

KA-BOOM!!

Out of the blue & like I never, ever imagined could happen. We'll be okay though.

Sorry to be so cryptic. I'll post when I can.

Five MORE Random Things

Okay, Peaches! Sheesh. I just did this Monday. I will try to avoid sleep related subjects, no promises, though...

1. Went to the doctor yesterday, in spite of the weather. He doubled all of my meds. Hopefully this will help. Although right now, the increase in the Ela*vil is making me soooo tired. (That's not really sleep related, is it?)

2. I haven't been to the gym in over a month.

3. I cannot parallel park. I will park far, far away to avoid parallel parking. This may be the remedy for my gym issue.

4. Fleece. Right now, fleece is my all time favorite fabric. The synthetic stuff, not the sheep stuff, Queen.

5. I know what my Christmas present is.


Since I just tagged five people Monday, I will only tag Christine again, since she all but asked me to. I don't need anyone else mad at me. Heh.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about BUFFI 1. You all rock. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It makes a huge amount of difference to know that people understand. 2. I had a long talk with a very good friend of mine who is t-h-i-s close to having his PhD in Pharmacy about what to talk to the doctor about tomorrow. He helped a lot because I didn't want to walk in there saying "All my friends are taking ____ so that's what I want." 3. The weather is total crap today. They finally called a two hour delay for the schools just before we got up (natch). Then at about 8:00 they cancelled it all together. The base hospital is still open as of right now, so I still have my appt. But I'm not holding my breath. (Then I'd have to go to the ER! hee hee!) 4. Guess how many gifts I have wrapped already. Nope. Nope. Thaaat's right. None. 5. Guess what I'm doing this weekend. 6. In addition to getting Sharpie off of piano keys, the Magic Eraser will also get Sharpie off of the white porcelain nativity scene. 7. I must remember to put that Sharpie away. 8. SugarPlum lost a tooth last night. It was the first tooth she has lost in several months. She was totally freaked out. I hope I remember to do the tooth fairy thing. Don't laugh. I don't have a good track record. 9. SugarPlum wants a loom for Christmas. 10. Bear wants jets. 11. Bug wants Angelina Ballerina. 12. Guess who might be a little disappointed Christmas morning. 13. SD takes his last final today. WOO HOO! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. HeartSongs (Karin) 2. Agog & Aghast (Raehan) 3. Old Old Lady of the Hills 4. Better Safe Than Sorry 5. Family Circus (Erin) 6. Give Me Something to Sing About (Angel) 7. A Prairie View (Carolyn) 8. Intricate Art (Leanne) 9. Sleeping Mommy

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Since she brought it up...

I have been trying to avoid talking about my depression and all of its accompanying whining**. I try to keep things upbeat and humorous around here. A few days ago Christine emailed me to tell me that, among other things, she had stopped taking Lexapro cold turkey. I share this with you only because she posted about it today and how it is affecting her. She mentions not being able to filter stimuli as well and having a much lower threshold for frustration. I am hurting for her and admit that I was afraid of this happening if only because of how I have been feeling ON my "happy" pills.

Things have been a little touch and go around here lately. I have felt as if I am teetering on the edge. The edge of what? I really don't even want to know. I find myself so easily irritated with my husband and my children. I can go off at the drop of a hat (or a toy!). I was so angry with Bear one afternoon last week for dumping out several buckets of toys and refusing to pick them up that I shouted. No, shout isn't even vaguely accurate. I screamed at the poor child. I screamed and screamed such that his big sister came in and offered to clean up the mess. To which I sharply told her no, he would do it. Then, I went upstairs to get Bug up from his nap. Bug, who had heard me screeching downstairs, saw me walk in and promptly laid back down, put his blanket over his head and said, "No, Mommy! I go back to sleep!"

It was so put of control and out of line and over the top. I was absolutely ashamed of myself. I called Bear to come upstairs. He was understandably reluctant. I called nicely and said, "Please, sweet SugarBear?" and he came up.

I pulled him into my lap in the rocker in his room and apologized and told him that it was very, very wrong for Mommy to shout at him that way and to say mean things to him. I told him that I loved him more than anything in the world and that I understood if he felt angry with me. He said that he felt sad and scared. My heart was broken for my boy. For all my children and it was my own fault.

I wish I could say that this was an isolated incident. It doesn't happen every day or even every week, by any means. But that it happens at all is unacceptable. And really, it is bubbling under the surface so much of the time lately. I feel very stressed and I don't know why.

The other manifestation my depression takes is that I can't be motivated to DO anything. This is why I have about eleventy hundred loads of laundry that need to be folded (SD has washed at least half, if not more of those), and those that DO get folded sometimes take weeks to be out away. I feel like I am being pulled below the surface, drowning in something I can't identify. (so many metaphors, Buffi, pick one, would ya?)

When I started taking anti-depressants, it actually was to control my migraines, but the Lexipro sort of highlighted my depression more than helping it. The doctors concluded that it could most likely be contributed to PPD, which isn't surprising, given the insanity that surrounded my pregnancy & Bug's birth. Anyway, we finally hit on a drug that worked. At least for a while.

I talked to SD about it tonight. I have a doctor's appointment Thursday afternoon as a follow-up to the Topamax. I am going to increase my dosage of that, since I am still having the headaches - fewer, but, still. I am also going to discuss increasing or changing my antidepressant. The stress around here is not going to let up over the next six months. If anything, things are only going to get crazier. Trust me, you'll get some good reading here soon! Let's just say that the Air Force has all sort of surprises in store for me!

Thanks for listening, y'all. I have made some very good, supportive friends here in the last six months. I appreciate you more than you know. I'll try to keep the whining to a minimum. I promise.


**I want to clarify that I do not in any way think that Christine was whining in her post. Hers is so well written and articulate and without the self pity that you read here. I love you, Christine. Thanks for making me take a good hard look at myself!

Handy Household Hint #42

No, it's not your imagination, I do seem to be having a lot more of these lately, Tis the season!

Did you know that Mr. Clean Magic Erasers will get Sharpie off of piano keys?

Mostly.

Gotta run. Time out is almost over.

Handy Household Hint #41

Don't try to run the toaster oven, microwave and teakettle all at the same time. It's a good way to get a whole lot of nothin' cooked really fast.

Who turned out the lights?

Okay, Fine, I'll play

Anne and The Deputy's Wife both tagged me with this Five Random things meme, so I guess I'll do it. I don't need the cops after me. Are there blog police??

Okay, so Five Random Things About Me...

1. I sleep with a teddy bear every night. It's the one my daddy gave me for Christmas my senior year in high school to replace the tattered one I got when I was two. (It wasn't tattered when I was two.)

2. I also sleep with an eye pillow. I know. How affected.

3. My feet cannot seem to get warm. I am wearing boot socks, Theresa. Brrrr.

4. I can't seem to go to bed before 1:30 every night. I'm tired all day, but I can't complain, because it's my own damn fault. (See, honey, I own up to it!)

5. I am so boring. This is the most interesting stuff I could come up with about myself.


I'm also supposed to tag five people for this. I hate tagging people, but, since it's Christmas (whatever that has to do with it): Christine, Theresa, Cori, Angel, and Erin.

Ho Ho Ho.

Woo Hoo! Snow Day!

The SugarBabies enjoying the snow

We finally got enough snow Friday for them (whoever "they" are) to cancel school. All of the area schools had cancelled Thursday night. Except ours. Our district waited until Friday morning to cancel. Dorks. Of course, it didn't matter. Bug was up at six regardless. He is so rude.

Yes, the infamous snowflakes/Rorschach tests

They bugged me all morning to go play in it. I, being the senselessly health-conscious mommy that I am, wouldn't let them go outside until the temperature topped 20. Or when their Daddy got home whichever came first. I hate hanging out in the cold. But they had a blast. They got to sled down the hill in our front yard and build a fort.

Bear emerging from the snow fort

I took them out today. It was a balmy 28 degrees! I took some Christmas card pictures (yes, finally!), and a few other shots. If you want to see the whole set, look here.

Fashion Emergency!

Found my skirt today. YAY!! Finally, a black skirt (or two - SD, you didn't see that) that I can wear to church. Nothing fancy or special. Long enough to be warm. They'll look good with sweaters. I'm a simple girl. (Be quiet)

However, my quest did raise this question. Gauchos...why? Did we not learn our lesson the first time? Are these flattering on anybody? I think not.

This must be stopped. If not us, who? If not now, when?

Since there has been some confusion as to what gauchos are, I thought I would post a picture to clarify the matter. See? Nobody, not even models, look good in gauchos.

When good raddits go bad....

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about Buffi 1. It is freakin COLD in Ohio. Five inches of snow tomorrow. Bleh. 2. The next person who says something like, "Oh, this is nothing! Wait till February!" gets an icicle through the forehead. 3. Our driveway is on about a 60 degree incline. If it's icy, we have to park in the street and pray for mercy as we walk up to the door. 4. I love the heated seats in my van. 5. Cold weather=bulky sweaters & coats= no bra for days!!! 6. I love my winter hat. It is very cute AND? it keeps my ears warm. I got it at Marks & Spencer when we lived in England. I hope I never lose it. 7. One last good thing about cold weather? I can keep my Diet Coke in the garage and it's always cold. The beer and vodka are out there too. Oh, and the extra milk and OJ. 8. See, I can find a silver lining! 9. Can I have the sun back now? 10. Skirts. What happened to skirts? Now that my ass is carrying all of this Ohio fat, none of my church dresses fit. I want to just get a couple of skirts to wear to church. Not the flitty, flirty skirts of very little fabric that I keep finding. I just need a longish black or khaki skirt to wear with sweaters and boots. Is that too much to ask? 11. There is so much going on right now that I want so badly to blog about. But, I can't. Not yet at least. But I will. When I can. I promise. It's cool. Man. Very exciting. 12. I am purging all superfluous toys from my house this week. The toys that are only used as dumpage when the boys play "garbage man" such as puzzle pieces, random blocks and various Little People accessories are now GONE. The children have been given ample warning. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. But I. am. fed. up. It's gone. I'm simplifying our lives. 13. Hmmmm? What's that? All of those random kitchen tools I don't ever use? No, you may not touch them. At least not until I begin dumping them onto the floor. Then, it's open season. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Ivory Frog 2. Family Circus 3. Multiple Mania 4. Peace, Love & Sanity for All 5. Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Don't #%^* With Rudolph

Put it on genius!

It is but 22 degrees outside right now. Ten with the wind chill.

Why then, did I just look out the window and see my daughter walking home from school carrying her coat???

Tuesday Giggles

Next time try a shoe

with apologies to Holli

I have been having to stay on SugarPlum to clean up after herself in the bathroom post-toothbrushing. I often walk in to find water all over, toothpaste smeared in the sink, on the counter, on the ceiling(?!), used floss and cups (yes, multiple) strewn about and her toothbrush lying next to the toothbrush holder. *humph*

But really, I have never seen anything like I did a few nights ago when I walked into the bathroom to brush Bug's teeth. There was a pool of water on the counter as well as water dripping down the mirror and the wall. So, I called SugarPlum into the bathroom, asking what in the world this gigantic mess was.

She came in, innocently batting her freakishly long eyelashes (really, she's like a mascara commercial), "What mess, Mommy?"

Me: "All of this water"

SP: "Oh. Well....there was a spider and I was trying to kill it."

Me: "Okay, but that doesn't explain all of this water."

SP: "Hmmmm. Well, maybe I forgot to dry my hands first."

Me: "No, I don't think that accounts for this much water."

SP: "Well, I tried to kill the spider with water."

Me: "With water?" ::eyes narrow, looking with suspicion:: What do you mean?"

SP (eyes now downcast): "I was spitting water on it, but it just kept running."

Me (exasperasted): "So, how'd that work out for you? Did you kill it?"

SP: "No, it ran behind the mirror."


Superior Cognitive Ability. Indeed.

Always read the fine print!

Be very, very careful when you are buying things on EBay or other online auctions this Christmas Season. Always read the ENTIRE posting. You could end up with this. What a clever fellow.

Let it Snow!

A long time ago, I was a kindergarten teacher. Children adore their kindergarten teachers. They hang on the teacher's every word. They are enthusiastic about the lessons that are taught and the crafts that they get to do. They are eager to please. Kindergartners put toys and learning supplies back where they belong, put books in the bookcase and throw trash in the...wait for it...trash can!

Then I became a mommy. Welcome to reality, baby. My children have no interest in cleaning up toys or replacing books in the bookcase. Trash isn't so much trash as 1) possibly something for a future art project (yeah, right) or 2) something to kick around until it is shredded into about eighteen tiny pieces of trash.

Today, Bear didn't have school. Why? Because it is December 2, of course. It's a holiday, right? No, I couldn't figure it out either, but, no school. I told him yesterday, as we watched the snow, that we would make paper snowflakes. He kept getting confused and asked when we were going to make paper out of snow. How disappointing that I could not defy the laws of physics and chemistry and do just that.

So the time came this morning that I decided to round up the boys and make snowflakes. This was shortly after they began beating one another with kitchen implements in their pretend bakery. Nobody likes an aggressive baker. So, I fetched the paper, cut it into squares, sat the boys down and showed them how to fold the paper. They watched obediently and began to wad the paper into little balls. That voice in the back of my head said to me, "Um, Buff, these are not kindergartners. These are your boys, and they are two and a half & four and a half years old." Oh, yeah! I gave Bear my folded sheet and told him to hold it. Folded another sheet for myself, gave Bear the little kid safety scissors, picked up my scissors and began to show Bear how to cut the paper. I opened up the snowflake and we all oohed and aaahhed and proceeded to make a whole mountain of intricate snowflakes for the rest of the peaceful afternoon then chaos ensued. Bug wanted to cut.

I may be blonde, but I am not stupid. One thing I did retain from college and that Early Childhood degree is that you don't give scissors to a two year old. I think they teach that on the first day. So, Bug was pissed. I was trying to involve him by letting him show me where to cut. He wasn't going for it. When I unfolded the one he "helped" with and handed it to him, he grabbed it, ripped it up, and reached for Bear's snowflake. I looked at the clock and decided it was nearly naptime and perhaps this activity was more appropriate for just Bear and Mommy.

Once Bug was asleep and Bear had a chance to "rest" for a few minutes, we proceeded with the snow storm. I got more paper. I got some of the "silly scissors." We cut angles. We cut curves. We cut big pieces and small pieces and tiny pieces. Bear had fun cutting, although some of his snowflakes looked more like Rorschach tests.

I thought we might hang our creations on the front picture window, to lend a bit of holiday cheer to our as yet undecorated home. I gathered my snowflakes and took them into the front room, telling Bear to do the same. I kicked the dogs off the couch, again, and pulled the drapes back. I called for Bear and then went to see just what it was he was doing. He said he was getting "alla my snowflakes, Mommy!" And by "alla," he meant every scrap of paper that had been cut this afternoon.

Each tiny little shred was a snowflake. If I suggested that surely we could throw this one away since it (to the untrained eye, of course) was just an end piece, he would inform me that this one was in fact, his very favorite of all the snowflakes and as such should be given a place of honor among the snowflake display in the Candyland window. *sigh* Finally I put my foot down, (gently) and said that we could not possibly hang all of the "tiny" snowflakes, as they would impede our view of the street and how would we ever indulge our twice daily habit of watching SugarPlum walk to and from school if the front window was completely covered in tiny (though precious, I must now concede) snowflakes? "But I wanted Gray Gray and Gram to see all of them when they come for Christmas**" BINGO!! What a great idea. We are now sending the "tiny snowflakes" special delivery to Gray Gray and Gram from SugarBear to decorate THEIR house for the holiday season.

As far as he knows anyway.


**This must be read with the most pitiful sadness, meant to break a Mommy's heart.

Friday Funny

Handy Household Hint

If, while cleaning the remaining Thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge, you notice that the dishwasher is getting awfully full, so you decide to leave some of said leftovers in their Tupperware containers on the counter for a couple of daysfew hours rather than deal with them at this moment, be sure to vent the lid on the cranberry sauce just a little bit. Failure to do so will lead to the fermentation of the sugars in the fruit which will lead to the lid POPping off and flying across the kitchen to the great delight of Bear and Bug any little boys in the vicinity.

Um, I read that in a magazine somewhere. Something like that would never ever happen here in Candyland. Excuse me now. I have to go buy more paper towels.


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