Well, stick a needle in my neck and call me Bussi

That pretty much sums up my day.

I had to be at the hospital at 7:15 Friday morning. Ugh. Two of the ladies from my church generously came to help me out. Ms. Kay, who was Bug's "teacher" when he was two, came and got the kids ready for school and stayed with Bug. Her mother, Ms. Louise, who cared for Bug at Mom's Day Out for his first two years, drove me to the hospital and stayed with me throughout my adventure there.

Basically, I checked in, changed into one of the hospital's lovely, chic, open back gown (so that all could glimpse my ginormous ass), then I climbed into bed with Joshilyn's lastest book, Between Georgia. And I began the waiting game. On the upside, I got through half of the book (oh, and WHAT a great book it is!). On the down side, that hospital was damn cold! Especially when all that is between you and the a/c is a twenty-seven year old wisp of cotton. Then I remembered that I had a blanket. Heh.

After waiting an hour and a half, then nurse came to get me for my procedure.

Nurse: What's your name?

Me: Sugarmommy Lastname. But I go by Buffi.

Nurse: Bethany?

Me: No, Buffi: B-U-F-F-I

Nurse: Bussi?

Me: Yeah, because that's a name you hear all the time...
::on the inside::

Me (out loud): No, Buffi. You know like the Vampire Slayer.

Nurse: Oh!! Buffi!!

Me (on the inside): Dimwit.


And it was all downhill from there. I eventually made it into the ultrasound room where the sonographer looked (unsuccessfully) on the left side of my throat for the nodule that was on the right side of my thyroid. Actually, she was really nice and, in her defense, the report she had only said that there was a nodule, not which side it was on. She quickly found it. I'm just cranky.

Then the radiologist came in and looked at the pictures and briefed me on what was to happen. He gave me a small shot of lidocaine in my throat to numb the skin and then proceeded to stick at least four loooooong needles in my throat to reach that stealthy nodule on my thyroid and retrieve some cells. Who knew that your thyroid actually had nerves?! Those needles hurt like a sonofabitch when they went into the thyroid! All in all, if you are considering letting someone stick needles in your neck, I would advise against it.

Then the brainiac nurse came to pick me up and deliver me back to my room. There, I waited, drifting between reading my (very wonderful) book and dozing. Periodically interrupted to have my blood pressure taken. (And of course it was a little high. Duh! They just stuck a bunch of freaking needles in my neck! AND? You interrupted my book. Again!) All the while, Ms. Louise sat with me and read her book.

Finally, the nurse came in to tell me that it was almost time to go. Actually what she said was, "The doctor said that you could go after 90 minutes. That's two hours. So, you got back in here at 9:40 and it's 11:30 now, so we'll go ahead and get your paperwork ready..."

Did you catch that?
Louise and I looked at each other with that did she just...? look on our faces. We agreed not to confuse the poor thing with the facts so as to escape before any damage was incurred by either one of us. I think that we were both afraid of losing a leg or something.

I arrived home just as Bug was finishing his lunch and heading to his room for his nap. I assured Ms. Kay and Ms. Louise that I would be fine getting Bug down for a nap and then take one myself. Which I did. For three and a half hours. With the blessed cooperation of my SugarBug, I slept until about five minutes before Bear and SugarPlum arrived home via another church friend. SugarPlum then assured me that if I needed to go back to bed that she could take care of the boys for me.

And then I cried. Because, holy cow, how sweet is that?!

So, I am good. I should have test results next week. I am expecting all to be fine. If it's not, well, you'll know that too!

Promises, promises....

Um, yeah, so about that whole "I'll post later this week" thing....

I've been scolded by more than one friend lately for the serious dearth of posts from Candyland as of late. I realize that it seems that I have all but fallen off the planet.

Our weeks around here are just crazy. The three SugarBabies are at three different schools. SugarPlum and Bear both have to be at school at the same time. Luckily their schools are only about a mile apart and SP likes getting there early. Bear still insists on me walking him to his classroom, which means that Bug goes in as well. Bug's school is only twice a week and an hour later, so we have a bit of time to go back home, pack his lunch and get ready. But the afternoons are just insane three days a week. Bear and SP have soccer practice on the same days. SP at 5:30, Bear at 6:00. At two different locations (natch). So I get the kids home on those days around 3:45, blow through homework, fix a picnic supper and get those two dressed for practice. The boys and I eat our supper on a blanket while we watch the first few minutes of SP's practice, then we load up and go over to Bear's practice. SP's coach delivers her to me when their practice is over and she eats her sandwich. By the time Bear is done, we get home just in time for PJs and bedtime stories! Wednesdays, we have supper at church at 5:00 and the kids have choir at 5:30 followed by Mission Friends and GAs at 6:30. Hey, at least we aren't bored! Add into that mix Pampered Chef shows on the weekends and the occasional weeknight PLUS two soccer games every Saturday. WHEW! I look forward to the one day a week that we can sit and just "be." As much as the kids love soccer and I enjoy watching them play, I am already looking forward to the end of the season and a little time off. Until basketball season starts. Heh.

Turns out that I am pretty darn good at this whole Pampered Chef thing. My first three shows have netted well over my goal for my first month and I have one more show to close before the end of the month. Plus, I have four shows already scheduled for October and two for November. I really love what I am doing. I have always been a big fan of the products, so I suppose my "passion" for it (how corny does that sound?!) has helped me sell it. If you want to take a look at my PC site, let me know. The "rules" governing those sites are a little fuzzy to me and I'm not sure that I wouldn't get in trouble for linking it here. But if you ask, I'd be happy to send you the link.

In addition to the whole sales gig, I am working at my church's Mother's Day Out once a week. In the two-year-old room. Yes, I am insane, thanks for asking. Actually, I am the "helper" to the other girl in there who actually does the plans and leads the class. I agreed to do it, initially, to help meet our ridiculous mortgage payments (yes, I know this is the house that I had to have, that is why I'm not complaining!)(okay, maybe I'm complaining a little bit, but I realize the hypocrisy)(but the house? totally worth it!)(could I have more parentheses?)(I'm multi-parenthetical!)(somebody stop me -please!). Plus, with me working there (at the church...stay with me here), Bug gets to go to preschool for half price. But I'm telling you, those five hours with little kids wipes me out for the day! I don't think I will ever be able to go back to teaching!

I am very extraordinarily blessed that my parents drive in every weekend to help me out. My mom lets me sleep in on Saturdays (unless we have a morning game) plus she cooks and does laundry! GrayGray plays with the kids and does a ot of yardwork and whatever else I need him to do. I do pay for these services in the form of extreme guilt trips. When I go out of town or even out for an evening, I get to hear about how traumatized the children are and how it's like they have lost BOTH parents. And if I should have to, heaven forbid, miss a soccer game?! Well, you might think it's the end of the world. Which has led to my having to make some very difficult choices. Like missing a good friend's wedding because I can't deal with the emotional price it might exact from my parents and children. But I can't say anything about it to my mom because I'm not sure I could do this without them. I don't want to cut my nose off to spite my face. (Didn't you hate that phrase when you were a kid? It made absolutely not sense to me.)

I'm telling you, this single-mom thing is for the birds. If SD ever thought that he might get rid of me, he's got another thing coming. I won't ever do this again voluntarily! And to all of my friends out there who are single parents: You have my utmost respect and my sincere apologies for my whining.

So......this is a long, long, long, long, loooooong way of saying, I'm sorry. I will try harder to actually post a little more often. No promises the rest of this week though. Today, I go have blood work and pre-admit done for Friday's thyroid biopsy. Not a big deal, really. Just a needle biopsy to confirm the scan I had done in May saying that I am cancer-free. I promise to let you know the results.

Thanks for sticking with me, y'all. You are the best!

*quick post*

I'm still alive, just unbelievably busy. The Pampered Chef stuff is picking up, but it is seriouly cutting into my blogging time. I'll let you decide if that is a good or a bad thing. Heh.

I have a show tonight to get ready for. Hopefully, I will have time and the energy to post Wednesday or Thursday. There has been a lot going on. Some of it even good!

Until then, thanks for your emails and notes of concern. You guys are the best!

*SMOOCHES*

Carlos Samaniego...I never knew ye

As you know, I was born and raised in Texas. I have always considered myself fortunate to have been able to grow up in the United States and especially in Texas. In high school, I was very active in choir and dance. And, after high school, as you know, I went to college and became a teacher. I have had the opportunity to live in many different places. I am proud to be an American and proud of our country.

Carlos Samaniego was born in Uruguay on December 31, 1971. At some point in his childhood, I'm not sure at what age, he moved to Texas, not too terribly far from where I grew up. He attended Permian High School and, from what I gather, he was one heck of a baseball player. At one game in particular, he entered as the pitcher in the third inning and shut out the opponent. From there, he eventually became a Bond Trader in New York City.

On September 11, 2001, my family and I lived in England. My husband was a fighter pilot and I was the Ways and Means chairperson for the Officers and Civilan Spouses Club. I was the Mommy to four-year-old SugarPlum and three-month-old SugarBear. On that particular day, my father-in-law left after visiting for two weeks. We had taken several trips during his stay and we enjoyed him thoroughly, but we were exhausted and, honestly, I was glad that he was headed home. We made plans to see him and my sister-in-law and her family in Mississippi at the end of October. SD took his dad to the airport very early that morning and SugarPlum and Bear and I all slept in and had a lazy morning watching Nick Jr and playing.

Carlos Samaniego woke up on the morning on September 11, 2001, most likely at his home in Richmond Hill, NY. He likely ate breakfast or at least had some coffee. He went to work that day at his job with Cantor Fitzgerald on the 104th floor of Tower One of the World Trade Center. You know what happened after that. He was confirmed dead at the WTC site. He wasn't able to follow through with any plans he had made to visit friends or family members. He didn't get one last phone call to tell his mom or his brother or his girlfriend that he loved them. His life was snuffed out abruptly and violently by the cowardly, unfathomable acts of evil, evil people.

I did not know Carlos Samaniego. Pretty much all I know about him is what I have told you right here. From what I have read that friends and family have posted about him, he was a really great guy. One friend wrote of Carlos:

I cannot remember Carlos ever having a bad day. He saw the good in everyone and everything. I know Carlos made life better for people around him. My life is better having known Carlos.

He sounds like someone I would really like to meet. The chances of that happening would have been very, very slim, but you never know. However, it makes so very angry that I will never have the opportunity to know him. Yet, I am pleased that I have been given this opportunity to honor his life and be a voice for one who can no longer speak.. His life was more than one than 1/3000th of a tragedy. His death left a hole in our world that will never be filled by anyone else and we may never know how far the ripples of this loss will be felt. If by chance, a friend or loved one of Carlos stops by here, please know that you have my deepest sympathies for a pain that must be almost unbearable even five years later. God bless you all.

We will never forget....


To read more tributes to the victims of the 9/11 attacks, go here. Or just visit 2,996. You'll be glad you did!

Because I lack the brain cells to form a proper post at this point...

In my ongoing effort to improve the health and well-being of my readers, I will now share with you these questions and answers I received in an email from a friend. I found them both logical and enlightening. I share because I care, people.

Your Health and Nutrition Questions Answered!



Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life, is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it . . . don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...No Pain!

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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'round' is a shape!

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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Sad, sad day...

On behalf of the SugarBabies and myself, I wish to express my most sincere condolences to Terri Irwin and her children. I know that our family will miss Steve and all of his shows. He is a big hero in our house.

Crocodile Hunter, you will be missed very, very much!

Thank Heaven for four day weekends

I knew it would be different this time around. For a thousand different reasons, I knew that kindergarten would be different for Bear than it was for SugarPlum. First and foremost, they are two different people. Obviously. Boy and girl. Firstborn and middle child.

Just as I knew before he was born how different he would be than his sister, I knew that this school year would be different than any of SugarPlum's have been.

SugarPlum LOVED kindergarten. She has always loved school. And while she doesn't always enjoy her homework, she would rather DIE than not do her homework. She almost always strives to do her best. I don't think that we have ever really had any discipline issues with her at school - other than the occasional "talking when she should have been listening" sort of thing (which frankly was a relief because it showed that she IS a real kid and not a robot!). Parent/Teacher conferences have always been enjoyable because I get to hear what a delight she is and how they wish that they had a class full of SugarPlums.

Now Bear is in kindergarten. And let me begin by saying that he is, by no means, the polar opposite of his sister. Bear has been anticipating and looking forward to kindergarten all summer. And he does love it. He enjoys learning and playing and participating. He calls each of the children in his class "my friend." He thinks the world of his teachers. But homework? Oh, it is the bane of his existence.

When he is done with school for the day, he feels entitled to come home and play until supper. Which is pretty much how life has been for him for the last five years or so. The fact that he has homework to do just pisses him off. And it's not as if he has to type a dissertation or do calculus or quantum physics. He has to write his name six times. Oh. the humanity of it all! Actually, he has to trace. his. name. Seems he needs some work on those small motor skills. I know few boys who don't. And Wednesday night, in addition to the name tracing, he had to work on writing the letter 'A' and the word "apple." I thought he might have a stroke.

The other "issue" with Bear this week is that he has been having some "Self Control" problems. It seems she has been throwing rocks on the playground and *gasp* "Sticking his tongue out at other people" (which led me to wonder...wouldn't we all find it more troubling if he were sticking his tongue out at himself?). I taught kindergarten. I know that self-control is a big deal and something that kids need to get a grip on before first grade. I have absolutely no issues with the teacher taking away his sticker for these infractions. Bear and I talked about it and I made it clear that this was unacceptable behavior. And I signed his conduct folder for the day and put it in his backpack.

And then left his backpack at home in the morning.

I will take some of the blame for this because I was yelling at everyone to get their butts out to the car already while I filled his water bottle. And the water bottle goes in the backpack...and you see how that played out, right?

So I walked him into class and told the teacher that we made it out of the house without his backpack and that I would bring it back up to the school shortly. I made it clear that I am usually not one to "rescue" my children from predicaments like that, but since I did carry most of the blame for this one I would take care of it. And then the teacher said something about how they need to learn to be responsible for their things and if he didn't have his folder that her wouldn't get his conduct sticker today and that she had TOLD him that if he didn't have his sticker he wouldn't get to choose from the treasure box.

And I felt my heart break a little. Because something about the tone of her voice or some other...intangible that told me that she doesn't really think as much of my sweet Bear as I do. She seemed exasperated or annoyed or something. But there was this huge part of me that wanted to go over and grab him and hug and kiss him a little extra and tell him that no matter what, I think he wonderful and perfect and we could work on all of his other "stuff" together.

I don't know, I am probably reading WAY too much into what Mrs. Kindergarten said. And I realize that nobody is going to love my son the way I do. But I just hate to imagine that any of my kids might be thought of as "that kid." Probably because I was a teacher and "that kid" was the one who aggravated the crap out of me. And Bear is just NOT "that kid." He is such a sweet, loving, compassionate, enthusiastic little boy. He loves everybody and is convinced that everybody loves him. Not in a narcissistic way, but just in that sweet, naive way that kids are when the world hasn't shown them anything different. And I am just hoping and praying that this teacher sees past the little misbehaviors to the precious boy that Bear is. I know, I know I sound like "that mom" now.

When I picked him up, he was in a good mood and seemed to have had a good day. I asked Mrs. Kindergarten if he had a better day and she said, "It was some better. He just needs to get a feel for the rules and boundaries. He'll be fine!" Which made me feel a little less weepy. Hopefully next week will be less...dramatic.

And, for the record? He got a lollipop from the treasure box yesterday.

More evidence that the Y chromosome inhibits multitasking

Bear: When I grow up I am going to be a Daddy, right?

Me: Yes, that is right! And you are going to be SUCH a good daddy, too!

Bear: And SugarPlum is going to be a Mommy and Bug is going to be a Daddy, too?!

Me: Right!

BUG: Nooooooo! I gonna be a pilot!

*sigh*

Well, I took the dang Emmy post down because it was just pissing me off. I may put it back up when I find links that will stay the same.

I have a lot going on, but haven't been able to put it into coherent words.

SugarPlum and Bear have soccer practice on the same nights at the same time. This is good and bad. It means that I get it all over with at once, but it also means that somehow I am supposed to be in two places at once. Fun.

On the up side, it has FINALLY cooled off. We had been over 100 for over 45 days this month. Plus? We got rain!!

Bug gets to go to HIS "Meet the Teacher" for preschool tomorrow morning. I don't know who is happier, him or me!

I am trying to get my Pampered Chef business started and it has been more of a challenge than I anticipated. Of course, if I were a little more organized and less, oh, I don't know...chaos-oriented?, it might help. So, if you live somewhat close to me (if you know where I live) and you want to host a Pampered Chef show & get lots of free stuff, let me know! Heck, if you live anywhere and want to order something or do a catalog show & get free stuff, email me! Geez, pimping my wares on the blog. How low can I go?

Father's Day in August!!!

Now, here is a dad we can all admire! Could your husband (or you, if you ARE a husband) have stayed this level-headed during such an obvious crisis? I'm pretty sure SD could.

Does this ass make my pants look big?

Do you find yourself, each season, wearing a "uniform?" You know, you realize after several weeks into a season that you are wearing that same pair (or two) of pants with everything and find yourself in a quandary when both pairs of said pants (or shirts, or jackets, whatever...work with me) need to be washed. A laundry quandary, as it were.

Please tell me that I am not the only one.

Last winter and Spring, I found myself always reaching for the same pair of stretch denim jeans that I got a JJill when the Queen and I were in DC. If those were in need of washing, then I usually had on this great pair of black velour drawstring pants. Don't look at me like that, the were comfortable. And honestly, they look really good on me. Shut. up.

So, with the recent outrageous expansion of my ass (which I blame on the Girl Scouts), I have been reluctant to wear shorts in public this summer. And trust me, as hot as it has been, that is saying a LOT. I have basically stuck with a pair of stretch denim capris (are you sensing a trend here?) and a pair of black cotton cropped pants that I bought on Land's End the summer after Bear was born. They hang nice and loose and they are quite comfortable. Those black pants are my very, very favorite garment this summer.

When I first got them, as I said, I had just had Bear and thought I was HUGE. However, the truth is, I lost most of my baby weight very quickly and so the pants looked really cute. But I didn't wear them all that much in the intervening years. They looked cute when I did wear them, but I had other uniforms at that time.

THIS summer however, I am left wondering what I was thinking not wearing those pants because why would you NOT wear them with all their cute comfiness?!! (yes, it's a word. let it go) Was I crazy? Oh, yes, I guess I was.

The anxiety I have about them is that I am not so, um, petite as I was when these pants were purchased. And say all you want about how slimming black is, my ass is still ginormous. And those pants just are never going to be the same. I am worried that when I go to put them on next spring that they will be all misshapen and stretched out and look terrible on my once-again-slender frame. (Hush) AND Land's End doesn't make those pants anymore. I don't know WHAT they were thinking. Perhaps they just couldn't keep up with the demand for the comfy black cotton cropped pants and gave up. I'm sure that's it.

I have been looking in my closet, pondering what my winter uniform will be. I realized today, that if my ginormous ass doesn't begin shrinking, and I mean SOON, I will have to purchase some pants that will cover it. And that is an investment that I don't want to make.

My weight-loss mantra: No New Fat Pants!

I can't for the life of me think of a title for this post

Whew! That was one hell of a pity party, no? Thanks for all of your sympathies. I'm feeling much better now...heh, a tribute to one of my dad's favorite lines ever.

Actually I got over it pretty quickly after I posted. No, not "got over it" in a "fuck him I can live without him" kind of way. More of an "okay I can/will/must put my big girl panties on and cope" kind of way. Having three kids, two of which start school the next morning, tends to put things in perspective for you. Although, I suppose that I could just curl up in a ball with a bottle of Boone's Strawberry Hill and a bag of Cheetos and whimper my days away. Who am I kidding? I'm no Britney...I could never pull that off.

I intended to post Monday about the first day of school and all the excitement surrounding that. Funny thing about school starting. I thought I'd have all this spare time. But school sort of takes over. Throw in soccer practice for the two "big kids" and a three year old who is pissed about being left out of all the fun and you are left with NO time to do anything much more than breathe. If I'm lucky. And here it is Thursday and I am finally getting back to the old blog.

Sooooo.....the first day of school. It was fantastic. Both kids are honestly so in love with their schools and their teachers, I couldn't possibly be happier. SugarPlum was a little apprehensive since she will be going to a different school than the one she attended the last time we lived here. Frankly, she was so disappointed that she wouldn't be with her best friend. Luckily they are on the same soccer team. On the up side two of the girls from her old soccer team go to her new school and one of them, T, is in her homeroom. AND? T was as excited that SugarPlum was in the same class as SP was. Her teacher got to hear all about SP before we ever got there on "Meet Your Teacher Night." So, the teacher put them at the same table. I think I love her. All of the fourth grade teachers seem to be really wonderful. SugarPlum is excited about every course. Even math! As it turns out, the math teacher gave them a problem the first day to find as many ways to get 24 as they could think of. Mrs. Math said that SP came up with the most creative way of anyone in the whole fourth grade. She was so excited!

SugarBear loves, loves, loves Kindergarten! He has friends to play with, stuff to do, and...AND?! he gets to watch a movie every day at rest time. He is such a people pleaser and he has plenty of chances to do just that. His teacher is just the nicest lady while still having total control over the class. He likes everything there is about Kindergarten. I asked him yesterday how his day was and he replied, "I like it as much as anything in the whole wide world!!" Could you ask for anything more? He was telling me about playing with his "new best friends" and I asked him their names. He replied, "Oh, I don't know." Wouldn't you love to be five again?!

But, yes, Bug is less than pleased at being left out of the festivities. He cries every day after we drop Bear off, "I wanna go to the rock school!!" (The school has these stone walls. They call it the "rock school.) His school starts after Labor Day. Delayed gratification is NOT amongst the qualities for which three year old are known. So my days have been filled with resentment and rebellion. Good times.

Tomorrow, we go to Gram and Gray Gray's house. I am singing in a wedding Saturday with a couple of my high school friends. I am so excited because these are two of my favorite people in the whole wide world! (Okay, yes we use that phrase a lot in our family. Maybe more than anyone else in the whole wide world!) So there has been a lot going on here in Candyland. And I promise to try and be better about sharing it. Remember, I said TRY!

It's a party! I brought the whine.

Well, not much of anything going on here. School starts Monday....dogs are still here and happy...kids are okay.

But I miss my husband. So, so very much. I had a big pity party tonight and cried and cried and cried. I never knew that I could miss someone this much. I love that man more than I ever knew possible 15 years ago. After all we have been through in the past few months, we are stronger than ever. But, I sometimes (okay, pretty much all the time) just need to feel him holding me. And I can't. And it sucks.

So, I suppose I'll wrap up this pity party for now and get to bed. I have two kids to get to school tomorrow morning. SugarPlum starts fourth grade. Bear's first day of Kindergarten!

Crap. I guess I'd better find more tissues.

It's like Deja Vu all over again...only not in a good way **UPDATED**

Man this sucks. This so very, very much sucks.

Okay, I'll start three years ago almost to the day. Bug was not quite three months old, Bear was two and SugarPlum was six and about to start first grade. The next day, her best friend in the whole wide world was coming to visit for a few days (along with the royal family). Our whole family was playing outside. SugarPlum and SD were in the front yard and Bear was in the back. Something happened out front that made SugarPlum call for us all to come see. So Bear went out the back gate and I took the baby and went out the front door. Several minutes later, I went in the house & noticed that the dogs were not in the backyard. I alerted SD and he began to search for them. Someone eventually called and said that they had found Ivy, our very old little mutt, down the street. But still no sign of Yogi, our Lab-mix rescue or Mayhem, the dog whom we rescued from the pound when she was a tiny little puppy and SugarPlum was only nine months old. The dog who had lived with my parents for three years while we were in England because we couldn't bear to put her or Mischief, or shepherd/husky mix through the six month quarantine.

SD drove around the area for a long time, but he really had no clue where to look. Eventually, I got a call from the Animal Control officer saying that someone had found the dogs, but that Mayhem had been hit. I called SD, who was still out driving around. Next, I called our vet who said that SD could bring Mayhem in. But our sweet May May died shortly after SD arrived at the scene. It was absolutely one of the most tragic days of my entire life. I was so very sad and wanted to wail and gnash my teeth. But I had a six year old who was absolutely devastated. She needed Mommy to be strong. So I waited till later to lose it. I held her all night long, as she would awaken and cry out for MayMay. I swore that nothing like that would ever happen again.

FLASH FORWARD THREE YEARS...

As soon as we closed on this house, SD came over and, with no power, put in a fence along the driveway in the back of the house to keep the dogs in. We also put a carabiner clip in the latch to prevent little boys from opening the gate and letting the dogs out. In addition, our driveway is gated in the front and SD installed a power opener that automatically closes after two minutes as an added line of protection.

Today we spent a great deal of time going back and forth from the backyard to the garage while we tried, unsuccessfully to blow up this giant water toy (sooooo not important). And nobody made sure that the gate latched properly. My fault. I'm the Mommy. That is my job.

Tonight, we got home from Bear's very first soccer practice ever. It was late. It was hot. I needed to get the boys to bed and SP had a friend over to spend the night. The girls went to the window to see the dogs as soon as we got home. And, yes, they were there.

After I got the boys in bed, I noticed that there was a message on my voice-mail. It was a woman who said that she had my dog. I thought, "Surely that was a wrong number. Our dogs are in the yard!"

Only, not so much.

Best I can figure, the dogs got out of the first gate just after the girls went to talk to them. Probably just before the driveway gate automatically closed. Damn.

So those very nice people brought Yogi home. And he immediately ran away again. Dumb-ass dog. He did come back fairly quickly. But Snazzy, the little black lab-ish mix whom we took in a couple of years ago, is still missing. SugarPlum is appropriately disheartened. She is also feeling guilty because she says that she knew that the gate didn't latch properly and she forgot to tell me. But NO. She has no blame in this. She is NINE. I am.....more than nine. I know better. I should always check the gate when we have been using it.

I drove around looking tonight as did a friend of ours while his wife sat here with the kiddos. The only good news is that neither of us found her on the side of the road. I am hoping that someone has her and will call in the morning. Or at least she has found a safe place to sleep.

Please pray for our Snazzy-Jazzy Puppy dog. She is such a sweet, good natured snuggle puppy. We will all be devastated if we lose her, too. And pray for us, as well, if you don't mind. The boys know nothing, yet, but the will be very fweaked out in the morning. And SugarPlum is pretty stressed out. Then again, so is her mommy.


**UPDATE**

At 6:30 this morning, I was awakened by some barking at our back gate. I leaped out of bed (where Yogi had laid crying all night next to me) and dashed out the door. (So thankful for that door to the backyard in our bedroom!) Lo and behold there sat Miss Snazzy at the gate. I have no idea where she had been. I know that she must have squeezed in between the sides of the driveway gate. She quickly came in the house, pooped on the living room rug (I discovered about an hour ago) and passed out on the bed. Right now she is once again in the back yard - gate locked - and looks to be sleeping soundly. I am just so very appreciative for all of your prayers and words of support.

I am happy to report that all is well once again here in Candyland. All of the SugarBabies and the SugarPuppies are safe and sound and content.

Dontcha just love a happy ending?!!!

Is this thing on???

Okay, okay, I'm still alive. Thank you all for being so concerned. It's good to know I was missed! I went to my parents' house for a few days and had no internet connection. Which, honestly, is odd because my mom had internet waaaaaaay before most people I know.

Anyway, I had no internet to speak of, other than the pirated wireless signal I was able to use for about 45 minutes Sunday night. Funny thing, I sort of got used to NOT being online 24/7 (or being able to). And now, it's hard to get back into the swing of things. I did start a post in Word while I was home, but I can't find it right now.

Maybe tomorrow.

That has become my mantra.

There is one thing troubling me tonight, though. I just got my ParentCenter newsletter and read the latest installment of Ben and Birdy. At the end, there was a little blurb saying that there will be only two more installments. I feel like a friend is dying. Or at least moving far, far away. Catherine Newman's weekly stories about her sweet children have been a staple in my life for the past three and a half years. Hers is the first sort of blog-like thing I ever read. I will miss her so very much. I hope that we will get periodic updates on Ben & Birdy. I will miss them and Catherine and Michael very, very much.

More from me tomorrow, I promise. Or, at least I promise to try....

I'm rich!! I'm rich!! And also? Stupid!!!

I just opened this email a few minutes ago. I know I'm blonde, but come on. Do people really fall for this? Is there someone in a trailer somewhere saying, "Finally! I've been wondering where I put that 6.5 million dollars ! Woo hoo!!" Sheesh!

CITIZENS BANK INTERNATIONAL
LAGOS-NIGERIA
ATTENTION
WE THE REMMITANCE DEPARTMENT OF CITIZENS BANK INTERNATIONAL HAVE RECEIVED YOUR INFORMATION IN OUR DATA BASE.
WE WISH TO LET YOU KNOW THAT AFTER OUR RESARCH WE FINALLY RESOVLED THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHFUL OWNER OF THE SUM OF 6.5 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS DEPOSITED BY ONE OF OUR CUSTOMER A NATIONAL OF YOUR COUNTRY.
WE ONCE AGAIN CONGRATULATE YOU?
YOU ARE REQUESTED TO SEND US THIS VITAL INFORMATION TO ENABLE US PROCEED YOUR TRANSFER:
1. YOUR FULL NAME THAT WILL INCLUDE YOUR MIDDLE NAME 2.A COPY OF YOUR DRIVING LICENSE OR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT.
3. YOUR TELEPHONE CONTACT
4. YOUR OCCUPATION AND AGE
FOR FUTHER SECURITY REASONS, WITH THIS WE CAN GO AHEAD TO PROCEED ON TRANSFERING YOUR FUND TO YOU, WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.
N/B: YOU ARE TO CONTACT OUR BANK BRANCH VIA EMAIL (citizensbankonlineca@latinmail.com).
THANKS
MANAGEMENT,
ACCOUNT DIRECTOR.

Sweet Nothings from SugarBug

Okay, the kids and I listen, almost exclusively, to KLOVE which is a Christian radio station that is all over the country. And on that station one of the songs frequently played is a fun, upbeat song by Phillips, Craig and Dean called Friend of God. The lyrics are:

I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend.

A few days ago, as the kids are singing along, I zero in on Bug, who is singing, with gusto:

I a friend of God
I a friend of God
I a friend of God
He calls me Fred!!!

Really, you think that God would have figured his name out by now!

Hot enough for ya?

Handy Household Hint #82

When implementing your fabulous new laundry plan of having the children put their dirty clothes directly into the washing machine rather than a hamper...be sure to check the washing machine and all pants within to verify that there were no diapers or pull-ups accidentally thrown in. That stuff is a bitch to clean out of the washer. (Note: Paper towel over ALL surfaces.)

And THEN you have to rewash all of the clothes.

As a result, you may not be able to wear those comfy/cute black capris to the school register you son for kindergarten. You might have to wear those same tired denim capris that you have been wearing all week. You know, the ones you are ready to burn.

Stupid diaper.

Somebody, please, Get this man a blog!

In response to my recent sushi issues, Bob (recently, of TXU fame) had this to say.....

This kind of reminds me of that old Billy Joel tune, "Uptown Girl":

Up-chuck, girl!
You've been eatin' stuff that makes you hurl.
It's best you never let those bad eats fly,
Until you're moaning, almost heavin' dry.

So you're gonna be an up-chuck girl.
You'll been lookin' at that water swirl
As long as any chunks of hot cud slam
into the water of that porce-lin can --
Green eggs and ham.

Now, I ask you....Why does this man not have a blog?? The Blogosphere needs you, Bob!

Please pass the Tums... *UPDATED*

Note to self:

Never, ever buy sushi from the commissary again.

*'scuse me*


Ummmmm, okay, I suppose I should clarify. It was just the vegetable rolls. No raw fish. I have to be in a place where I know for sure that the seafood is fresh before I eat that kind of sushi. Landlocked here in Texas is NOT that place! I think that it was just the wasabi and ginger that overwhelmed me. And my belly. Ugh.

TEXAS HEAT WAVE

(I know, Karin. This is pretty much March to November for you, right?!)


YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN:


The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Ah, what a place to call home.

God Bless Our State of TEXAS!!

(This was an email goody from my Daddy. I take no credit for any of it. Although, I have thought some of these before!)

Weeks like these are made for Xanax

How to Celebrate your 36th Birthday:

*Make sure that your husband leaves for a year two days before.

*Have your mom come the day that husband leaves.

*Have your best friend come the next day.

*Get up early on your birthday by way of your cute little three-year-old blonde haired, blue-eyed alarm clock. Take daughter to soccer camp,

*Go to doctor (which seems to have become a tradition) who contradicts what the "experts" at the last base said. Finally convince Doogie that you DO INDEED need an endocrinology referral. Putz.

*Go to register Children #s 1 and 2 for school. But only get #1 registered because kindergarten registration begins next week. Of course.

*Enjoy cookie-cake that children prepared and decorated in your honor. Eat several pieces. mmmmmmm Chocolate chip!

*Go eat Mexican food and drink yummy margaritas with best friend in town!

*Stay up too late for no apparent reason.

*Wake up early again (see above).

*Take daughter to camp in husband's car because it is easiest to get out of driveway.

*Drop daughter off at camp. Drive home fantasizing about either nap or unpacking boxes. It's a toss up.

*At some point in reverie, realize that the pick up in front of you that you thought was going to turn left? Has yet to turn.

*Smash right into back of said pickup totally destroying hubby's front end. Radiator fluid everywhere. Unable to open either of the front doors, having to climb out the back.

*Listen as asshole cop lectures you about how he "could give you a ticket for an expired license" but won't since is it just one day over.

*Spend much of morning crying hysterically and dealing with insurance company.

*Take lots of Motrin & Xanax. Praise God for TriCare.

D-day draws nigh....

Okay, our sense of humor is fading fast around here. SD leaves Tuesday and we are all feeling the impending doom. In less than 24 hours I will be a single parent. This is not something I was cut out for. I am better as part of a team. And my teammate is bailing on me. Okay, okay, to be fair, he IS returning as often and as soon as he possibly can.

SugarPlum ended up with a migraine Thursday evening (the first of two or three in the past several days). We were going out to dinner and she didn't even want to go eat Mexican food. And really, girly LOVES her fajitas. I gave her some medicine and some HeadOn (which works miracles usually...thanks Angel!!) and let her stay home while we grabbed supper. When we got home she had fallen asleep and woke up shortly after a little disoriented and still in a lot of pain. Finally SD carried her to our bed and I snuggled her and read to her for a while. Eventually, I got her one of my Fioricet, which finally worked.

I'm not surprised. She has been the one feeling the most anxious about her Daddy leaving. She won't let us talk about it or even allude to it. If I say something like, "You know, next week, I'm really going to need your help..." she tears up and tells me that she just doesn't want to talk about it. She has been having trouble going to sleep and has been SOOOO moody. I mean, even moodier than normal for a nine-year-old little girl. Scary! This week, she is going to soccer camp, so maybe she will have a constructive outlet for her feelings. Maybe. Or maybe she will be even MORE tired and cranky. It's a toss-up.

The boys, of course, really have no idea what is going on. I mean, they have heard us saying that Daddy's leaving, but I am pretty certain that they don't get it. I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow when he is actually gone. The phrase "all hell breaking loose" keeps running through my mind for some reason. Bear has been having random meltdowns about relatively minor things over the past two weeks. It's almost painful to watch because you can tell that he really cannot control what is going on. His emotions are on edge and get away with him sometimes. Bug, really, has no clue. He reacts to everyone else's emotions, which is enough, honestly.

I've had a few migraines of my own. No big surprise. But I have kept my Xanax use to a minimum. I have really just been enjoying my time with SD. We have used the hot tub some (at night - sitting in the hot tub when it is 105 degrees just doesn't appeal to me), snuggled some and, yes, picked a few fights of course. I'm fairly sure I'll be a disaster tomorrow.

SD, to his credit, is really trying to keep his emotions in check and spend as much time with the kids as he possibly can. He takes them with him on several of his trips to Lowes every day and he makes them breakfast every morning.

Wednesday, we took out a second mortgage on our newly financed house and made a trip to the local water park. The kids had a blast. SD got soooo burned. In spots. He let SugarPlum put the sunblock on him and it wasn't the most even application. We have all been chipping in, taking turns applying aloe to his shoulders and back. We're nothing if not helpful.

SD did get my new cooktop and oven installed. I had forgotten how much I love a gas stove! He has let the kids help him with much of what he has done. Tomorrow, he is taking them to ride bumper boats at a place in town. I'm going to let them have that fun all to themselves. It's supposed to be over 100 all week.(it's not even 10:00 am & it is over 90 degrees already) Blech. (although, as Christine pointed out, at least we have a/c!)

So, as I mentioned a while back, SD leaves Tuesday and my birthday is Thursday. My big plans? I have a doctor appointment! I'm crazy that way (no, really, I am crazy, you know). Actually, one of my very best friends, CRB, is coming to town Wednesday to keep me from losing it and she is staying at least thru Friday and maybe all weekend. Also, Mrs. Jackalord is coming on Saturday. I have the most wonderful friends. Anyone else want to come join us? We have plenty of room. And my mom will be here to babysit. Wheeeeee!

Stay tuned tomorrow for much self-pity and woe....

Letters I'd love to write, but probably never will... *updated*

Dear TXU person(s) who read my post:

I know that you read my post about the atrocious behavior of your customer service representatives (also known as "big, fat liars" and in one instance "bitch from hell) (except for Von) (and Bob*). I saw you on my stat counter. I saw more than one of you.

Would it have killed you to leave a comment saying, "I'm sorry?" That would have gone a long way in restoring my faith in your company. As it is we will be switching to another company this week. And telling all of our friends. Remember Texas is a big state with six Air Force bases alone. Not to mention Army, Navy, Marines and Coast Guard. Word travels fast among military folks. Sucks to be you.

Yours (but not for long),
Buffi

*I know that Bob is NOT a customer service person. But he is my hero...thus, the mention.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Creepy Sacker Guy at the grocery store,

When I go to the store at 11:00 in the evening wearing grubby old sweats, a faded college t-shirt, no makeup except for the mascara circles under my eyes and my (dirty) hair in a ponytail, you saying, "You look nice tonight!" in that creepy way you do does NOT impress me. It sorta skeeves me out.

And the way that you always make it a point to hightail it to my lane when I am shopping there is less than endearing. You know I am married. You have seen my three monkeys children. I'm not available and even if I were, sackers with such obvious acne problems are not my style. Actually, I outgrew sackers in the 11th grade. Leave me alone.

NOT yours,
Buffi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear USAF,

SD will be unable to attend the "remote assignment" you had planned for him. Due to *ahem* a recent (re)discovery. I am very sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause.

Dutifully yours,
Buffi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Yogi and Snazzy, (my dogs)

They are squirrels. They live up there in the trees. No matter how high you jump or how much you bark, you won't catch one. Get over it and move on.

Irritated, but still loving you,
Buffi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear SugarBabies,

Enough with the whining. Soon my head will explode. While that may sound like it would be entertaining, it will not be fun for any of us. So stop the damn whining. All of you. Or you can live out there with the dogs and chase squirrels all day.

Lovingly,
Mommy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sun,

Okay, we get it, you're hot. We are in TEXAS!! now. We understand. However, 108 degrees is just taking things too far. Cool off already, will ya?

Sweatingly yours,
Buffi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Blog Stalker,

Seriously, how long has it been? And still, I see you on my stat counter several times a week. I think they make a pill for that. It's funny that you haven't just bookmarked my site and have to use the same search terms every. single. time. Really, get a life. You have moved from aggravating to simply pathetic.

Go away,
Buffi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Target Employees,

For the last time, NO! I do not want to apply for a Target card and save 10% on my purchases. I have told you all that about eleventy skrillion times now. STOP ASKING ME!! Soon you will be seeing me wearing a sign communicating my feelings about your damn Target card. And there might be some not-very-nice words on it. Enough already.

(And while we are at it, please share this information with your buddies at Kohls, JC Penney's and Macy's.)

Sick of it (but not enough to shop at Wal-Mart),
Buffi

Six Days till Lonely-ville plus a large portion of TMI

Well, I've changed my mind. I've decided that SD cannot go away for this remote assignment. No, I am not afraid of being a single parent. (Okay, maybe I am a little bit.) I am a take charge kind of girl when I have to be and I know that the kids and I will be fine. I have proven to myself that I can keep the house, if not clean, then not disgusting, either. This may seem like common sense to most folks, but I have finally found it within myself to actually tidy up after each meal. Amazing how much easier it is to keep the kitchen clean that way. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that? (I know, Mom. I KNOW.)

And, I have kept up with the laundry (for the most part) by insisting that the children put their clothes not into a hamper or (heaven forbid) on the floor, but directly into the washing machine. Then, when it approaches full, I wash them. (BTW, those Shout Color Catchers are the best thing ever invented. E-V-E-R. You could throw a white sock into a load of reds and the sock will still come out white if there is a Color Catcher in there. I hardly ever sort the laundry any more. If I had to, it'd never get done. Nobody even asked me to blog about those. This is my gift to you.)

And, no, I am not afraid to be alone in the house. I have done that many, many times.

No, the reason that I have decided that SD must stay is that I finally found my libido again. It must have been in one of those boxes for the past several years. I don't know if it is being back in Texas (although heaven knows that last time we were here I didn't have it. It was gone for a long, long time. And oh! how we missed it!!), finally finding the right combination of drugs to stave off the years of PPD, or that I have NOT been pregnant and/or nursing for over six months now. But WOO HOO the libido is back and we have been enjoying its return! And girls, let me just share a little about that man of mine: he is good. Very good. And so he must stay.

Yes, there are "things" that can tide me over somewhat until he is back for Christmas, but it's just not the same. I need my man. Seriously.

The Air Force will understand. Right? RIGHT???

Damn. It's gonna be a long twelve months.

Why is it....

• that for every box I unpack, three more pop up to take its place?
• that my kids are constantly hungry, but never for what I say they can eat? "Mommy! I'm starving!! Can I have a fourth popsicle? A candy? No, I don't want a yogurt/cereal bar/piece of fruit that doesn't require peeling and/or slicing." If you are starving, doesn't that indicate that you would be happy to eat whatever someone is willing to give you to eat??
• that I cannot, even after more than two weeks, decide where I want the furniture placed?
• that even though this is the biggest house we have ever owned, there still doesn't seem to be enough room for all of our stuff?
• that we have so much damned stuff???
• that I can't get my three year old son to even consider using the potty?
• that I am eating very little, snacking even less and yet my ass is getting bigger and bigger?? I'm tired of this weight gain. GO AWAY FAT!!!
• that regardless of how tired I am, I can't seem to make it to bed before 1:00? This is going to cause a problem next week after SD has left the continent.

(on a side note...YEESH! I'm going to be a single parent in eight days!! This fact alone scares the bejeebers out of me!)

Backtracking, apologizing and explaining (okay, and ranting and raving)....

also known as The Longest Post EVER

Okay, so about the TXU saga. I am afraid that maybe I was a little harsh in a recent post when discussing TXU. I also am afraid that I offended one of my favorite readers of all time (who doesn't have a blog but should really get one), let's call him "Bob." Don't get me wrong all (but one) of the "Customer Service Representatives" with whom SD & I spoke were more accurately described as "Big Fat Liars" and one in particular will always be known in my heart of hearts as the "Bitch from Hell."

HOWEVER one very pretty person, the lovely and angelic Von (that was her name), restored my faith in humanity and has kept me from cursing TXU altogether. I will explain more in a moment. For now, lets begin the saga of How TXU Ended Up on my Shit List:

Yes, I will admit that at first, we brought some of this on ourselves by waiting until the last minute to get our power connected. SD thought that I had taken care of that little formality and I thought that he had. So, Tuesday came and the power was turned off at our new home. Fortunately, we were still in our lovely two bedroom home as our household good would not arrive until Friday.

Tuesday afternoon, we called TXU and we were told that unless we payed $150, they could not get the power turned on until Friday. This was slightly inconvenient since SD was planning on fencing along the driveway to keep our Houdini-esque dogs in the backyard. But as we are now on a budget (you know, because we bought this great house...totally worth it), we decided that we could wait until Friday. SD was ensured that the power would be on between 8:00 and 5:00 (LOVE how they narrow it down).

So, as Friday approached, SD finished the fence and we discussed how we hoped, for the movers sake if nothing else, that the power would be on closer to 8:00 than 5:00. The temperatures had been in the upper 90s all week and then there was the whole darkness thing going on inside.

Friday morning, the movers arrived at about 8:30. No power. I took the kids to Vacation Bible School at 9:00, ran a couple of errands and then stopped by the house at about 10:00. Still no power. I went to get lunch, picked up the boys (SugarPlum stayed at the church for Sports Camp. Have I mentioned that I LOVE my church?) and took them back to the base house for naps. I called SD at about 2:30. The movers were sweating their asses off...still no power.

At this point, I called TXU's customer service line to verify that we were indeed on the schedule to have our power connected that day. The person with whom I was finally connected was obviously NOT from this country and I question whether she was in this country. She was very nice, although, I was irritated. She put me on hold (of course) and came back to tell me that "your power will be connected thees day. Yes, thees day by meednight." MIDNIGHT? I was less than pleased to receive this news. But...okay. Fine. We weren't planning to check out of our temporary house until Saturday morning anyway.

I called and gave SD this news. Needless to say, he was a little miffed. So, he decided to call TXU himself. And the person he spoke with confirmed that the power "would be turned on thees day by meednight." Heh.

SD got up early Saturday morning and went over to the house to start unpacking the kids rooms so that they could be somewhat oriented when they got there. Big surprise. No power. So....he calls TXU. He asks to speak to a supervisor. The supervisor tells him that it would likely be Monday and possibly Tuesday before the power is connected. She also says that he was informed of this fact.

Meanwhile, I am packing up everything from the base house to take to our new home. Just as I am about to load the food into the van, my phone rings. He shares his conversation with me and in a repeat of the previous Saturday, I said, "I don't fucking think so."

So, I got on the phone and I called TXU again. I spoke first with the Customer Service Representative. I explained apologetically that I was fairly certain that there was little he could tell me that I didn't already know and that I needed to speak with a supervisor (really, no need to shoot the messenger). A few minutes later, I was connected with the aforementioned "Bitch from Hell."

She informed me that we were told when we called that it could be as late as Tuesday before the power was turned on. I told her that no, when we called to set up service we were told that it would be turned on Friday by 5:00. I continued by saying that THEN, when I had called the day prior, that I was assured that it would be on by midnight. I said that it was obvious that somewhere along the line, I was lied to at least once. That pissed her off and she said that it was right there in the notes that we were told it could be Tuesday. When I tried to contradict her, she kept cutting in and being more and more rude. I told her I didn't give a damn what the notes said, that perhaps she should listen to the recording of the call (and you KNOW that there is one) and get the truth. (Let me just say that I was making every effort to be calm, nice and level-headed. The three Xanax I took were helping quite a bit) By the third time I was interrupted and all but told I was stupid, I thought to myself, "Oh, hell no!"

I told her to stop interrupting me and listen already. I told her that I had the notes that SD wrote while on the phone with the TXU rep on Tuesday. That we were told that it would be Friday between 8:00 and 5:00. I also said that if we had been told that it might be as late as Tuesday, I could assure her that we would have paid the $150 to expedite the connection. I then said that it was obvious that there was nothing that she could do to help me and that I needed to speak with HER supervisor. She then gave me a little "HM!" and said that she would need to put me on hold to connect me. And then she did. Put me on hold.

Forever.

I sat there for thirty minutes before I gave up. Fifteen minutes into the "hold" I realized that the same song was playing over & over on loop. The song? Famous Last Words of a Fool. Now that was just ugly. And mean. Someone at TXU thinks that they are really cute with that. I think that it is just in really bad taste. And now....I was beyond pissed.

I hung up and called again. And the phone went straight back to dial tone. So I tried again. And the same thing happened. That's when I realized, THAT BITCH BLOCKED MY NUMBER! No fucking way.

You can't get rid of me that easily. My parents came over to the temp house to stay with the kids while I went to the lodging office to use THEIR phones and the internet connection. On my way, I called our realtor. Who is absolutely the best realtor EVER. She said that she didn't know anyone off the top of her head, but that she knew people who knew people and that she would give me a call back. (Which she did. And she had contacted the publisher of the newspaper. Who knows everybody.)

I tried calling the TXU number in the phone book. But for some reason, I kept getting that weird "fast" busy signal. So I got online. I emailed "Bob," who works for TXU. I had no idea what he does at TXU, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask. I asked him that if there was anything he could do to please give me a call on my cell. I also found a different number on TXU's website and called that. Once again, I nicely told the person who picked up first a little about what was going on and that I would like to speak with a supervisor. The person with whom I was connected seemed somewhat sympathetic. (It didn't hurt that I cried and pulled the "my husband is leaving very soon for twelve months and we MUST get into our house so we can get settled before he goes" card.) He put me on hold (uh-oh), and then, suddenly, the call was disconnected. I sighed heavily and tried not to scream (too loudly).

I called again. I played the whole "you seem like a lovely person and I hate to trouble you but may I just go ahead and speak with a supervisor, please" game. He asked where I was calling from and when I told him, he said he would transfer me to someone in that area. Aha!!! How uncharacteristically logical!! This is when I was connected with the now revered (and very pretty) VON.

Von was horrified at the way I had been treated and said that of course I should be angry and dismayed. She asked if she could put me on hold so that she could see where the service guy was and find out what the hold up might be. I was understandably reluctant to be put on hold and explained my apprehensions. She assured me that she would be back but that if we were disconnected somehow, she said that she would call me back and read my number to me, I am assuming from her Caller ID. So I agreed to be put on hold.

Von checked back with me as she sought the answers and solution to my problem. She said that according to what her records said, our electricity should either be on already or that is should be soon. She said to check the meter and that there should be a tag on it. If the tag was blue or grey, the power should be on and if the tag was red or orange, the power was still off but assured me that it would be on very soon. I thanked her profusely and told her how wonderful she was.. Then I called SD and relayed this new information to him. He said that the tag on the meter was grey, but that the power was still off.

Damn.

I started to call Von again when SD called me back to tell me that the lights were on and we were now with power. YAAAAAY!!!!! The guy had just been to the house and switched the tags then went down the street to flip the switch...or whatever it is they do. All I know is that if I had been at the house, I would have kissed that guy on the mouth (no tongue, though. It's not like I won the lottery!).

Later, when I had loaded up the kids and all of our crap and was FINALLY headed to the house, "Bob" called. He was so nice. He really doesn't have much to do with the customer service side of TXU, but he was going to give me the names of people to call who had the power to make things happen. "Bob," you rock!!

I will share with you the disclaimer from all TXU advertising:

TXU Energy (REP Certificate No. 10004) is not the same company as TXU Electric
Delivery and is not regulated by the Public Utility Commission of Texas, and you
do not have to buy TXU Energy's products to continue to receive quality
regulated services from TXU Electric Delivery.

So, here we sit now in our fully lit, air conditioned (and still box-filled) home. All's well that ends well, right? But I can tell you for damn sure that we will be switching power companies. As much as I love Von (and "Bob") I can't abide being treated as I was by everyone else at at that company over the week.

Don't mess with SugarMommy.

Seriously.

No, the boxes haven't eaten me. Yet.

I know. I KNOW. I suck. I haven't posted in nearly a week. I had fully intended to do a 4th of July post, but never even turned the computer on Monday or Tuesday (actually, now that I think about it, I don't think that I turned it on on Sunday, either). If you want, you can read my post from last year here. I have been online so little and when I am it is mostly to check email. Then I sometimes sneak in a few blog reads and then get back to this settling in business.

Which is much easier said than done.

You would think that with as much as I have neglected you, my dear blog friends, that the boxes would be unpacked and we would be able to see all of the carpet in the bedrooms and perhaps even have a vague notion as to where to place the living room furniture. Ah, but see, there you would be mistaken. Because with all of the tidying up after the children, going to Lowes and Home Depot no less than 17 times a day and, of course, napping, very little actual unpacking has taken place in the past several days.

The children's clothes and various other "necessities" have been unpacked and distributed accordingly.

The kitchen is a sight to behold. It is unpacked and some might even dare to mention the words "tidy" or "organized." (those people would not include my mother who seems intent on sending me right over the edge with her attempts at reorganization and "suggestions" on where things "might go better.") Nonetheless, there is still one counter top that is loaded down with all of the miscellaneous crap that has yet to find a resting place. It will look even better next week when the new oven and cooktop are in there. That is my birthday present. And I am thrilled with that!

SD has spent the past two days (with the help of the Jackalords yesterday) building the coolest swingset/treehouse that the kids have ever seen. It was all I asked that he do before he leaves for his remote. Because I need for those children to have something to occupy their time once I am a single parent! But seriously it is so cool. Even the teenage boy from next door had to come over yesterday and take a look and tell us how great it was.

Now, I must find it in me to open up those boxes and place the knick-knacks, hang the pictures and put away th rest of the clothes. (And you will be proud to hear that in almost two weeks, I have yet to fall behind on the laundry. That is a record!) One day, I will return to the blogosphere and read all of you and, yes, even leave comments! But for now...back to work. Where is that box cutter??

Thoughts while unpacking...

• We have entirely too much crap.
• I can't find any of the useful crap.
• I have four boxes of lasagna noodles. Why?
• I have 874 boxes of jello. WTF?
• My children have turned boredom into an art form.
• My children do NOT, when bored, take kindly to being told that I have boxes that they can unpack.
• SugarPlum has learned not to say, "There's nothing to do."
• She now says, "Is there something fun I can do?"
• So I made her sweep and clean the baseboards and vents.
• Oddly enough, the boys got jealous of her "fun" and started cleaning the vents as well.
• Then they fought over who got to Swiffer the floors.
• My boys each have eleventy thousand billion pairs of socks. (give or take a million)
• I am remembering that in the Spring, I could never find a pair of socks for the both of them.
• Where did all the damn socks come from?
• We are going to have to replace the ovens. Like NOW.
• The ovens in the kitchen now are approximately 125 years old.
• Yes, that means that they predate the house by a good eighty years.
• I keep trying to finish the TXU post, but I can't seem to gather my thoughts enough to make it coherent.
• My husband leaves in 19 days.
• I need to refill my Xanax.
• And buy more vodka.
• Laundry is done. Must fold & put away. I'm determined to not let it get out of control.
• Let's all hold our breaths on that, shall we?

I'm still alive...barely

The movers delivered our stuff (AND totally scratched up my hardwood floors) Friday. Sadly, we were unable to actually move in to the house until Saturday afternoon because TXU SUCKS and we didn't have power until then. This particular fiasco merits a whole blog post of its own, but I am so exhausted right now that I don't have the energy to properly address it. Fear not, dear readers, you will soon learn of the rude, rude, rude, rude "customer service" people (also known as "big fat liars) employed by TXU.

Tomorrow we finally get cable and I will have more than two channels. Seriously, right now I only get two channels. Not that I have had time to watch TV. The cable guy came on Thursday, but obviously, since we had no power (because TXU SUCKS) they couldn't do much about the cable.

By Saturday evening, however, the fridge was up and running, the beer and margaritas were chilling and all people over the age of ten were unpacking boxes. (Where were YOU? We could have totally used your help!) Not that you would know it from looking around here. Where did all of this crap come from? And why must I unpack it? Okay, to be fair, SD has done FAR more than I. But we need to get this finished up (hahahaha! I dream big.), because SD abandons us in less than four weeks. Perhaps I have twisted that a bit. But this is my blog and I can say things how I want....

Oh, and PS....

CONGRATULATIONS HOLLI!!

Moving in...

Friday is the big day!! Hopefully by this time tomorrow, I will be in my house with my stuff and my DSL. This crappy connection on base is going to be the end of my sanity if I have to deal with it much longer.

So...pray that the movers are VERY careful and yet very efficient while unloading our stuff. Also, pray that the power gets turned on first thing in the morning. We are really paying for our procrastination this move!

Beer will be in the fridge as soon as the fridge is delivered. Margaritas will begin pouring shortly after we unpack the blender. Bring your own salt.

We interrupt this bloglessness to bring you this special news bulletin....

Dear Blogosphere,

We regret to inform you that although the residents of Candyland made it safely to TEXAS!!, they quickly melted away in the over 100 degree heat and are currently trying to recover from said meltiness.

They are presently in their sixth accommodation in as many days (the Air Force tried to give them temporary housing in a tiny, unsanitary, - nay DISGUSTING - two bedroom "apartment"(read hellhole) to which SugarMommy promptly replied, "I don't fucking think so!"

As a result, they were moved to a much nicer (albeit poorly air conditioned and no internet) four bedroom house that would accommodate their dogs. However, they could only live there for two days.

They are now residing in a beautiful two bedroom house with fantastic A/C which should aid in the deterring further melting (melt downs still anticipated from all parties at one point or another). Candyland will permanently relocated in their big, beautiful, home on Friday. There will be beer and margaritas for anyone who wishes to come help unpack boxes. Come one come all.

SugarMommy will post again ASAP

PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

In which we make like Willie Nelson (eventually)......

We have finally escaped from Ohio!! I thought that we might never leave. It has been just the freakiest of days.

SD got up this morning and took both our cars in to get the oil changed and tires rotated, etc. (I know, nothing like waiting till the last minute. We LOVE to fly by the seat of our pants) Then he had to go up to school to do the very end of the "out-processing" so that we could leave. Meanwhile, I had to pick the dogs up from the kennel by 11:30 and SD wasn't expected back until around 12:30 or 1:00. Since the hotel would have charged us $100 to bring the dogs up to the room for an hour, our landlord agreed to let me put the dogs in our "old" back yard for the hour or two until we were to leave. I made sure that both of the gates were latched because Yogi and Snazzy are master escape artists and that was all we needed. (Shhhhh, let ME tell the story, please!)

I got back to the hotel and was almost finished loading up the van when SD calls from the house to tell me that the gate was open and that the dogs were not in the yard. He said that he would be driving around looking for them. Inevitably our hotel suite had already been reserved for someone else who was waiting for us to get the hell out of there so that they could clean it and move in. So, we sat in the hotel lobby for a few minutes before I decided that two people looking was better than one.

I dropped Gram and the boys off at the park and SugarPlum and I scanned the neighborhood for the two escapees. After a half hour or so, I decided to stop at the swim club by our house and ask if anyone had seen them. Of course they hadn't, but I left my cell number, just in case. Just as I was about to leave, I glanced in the direction of our old house and lo and behold there they were. Our dogs were back in the yard, lounging around like they had never been missing. I yelled at SugarPlum that they were in the yard and we hopped in the van to go over there. And my sweet girl says to me, "Praise Him in the storm, Mommy!" Out of the mouths of babes.

Now, I have no idea whatsoever what happened. Did someone find them, see the address on their tags and put them back in the yard? Were they there the whole time and for some reason didn't come when SD called? Were they abducted by aliens who soon realized how retarded and ridiculously hyper they are and who quickly returned them? No clue. Just very happy that our dogs are safe and sound and with us.

We quickly hit the road after retrieving our wayward canines (to which Bear asked, "Mommy, why are we hitting the road?" Implying that, wouldn't that somehow damage our vehicle?). We headed south toward Louisville, KY since I hadn't gotten to go to the Bluegrass State. The one place I wanted to see and we never made it down here. And I got to see a bit of it. But now we are in Indiana, about to go to sleep in a Holiday Inn Express. It ain't the Ritz, but it ain't Motel 6 either, so I won't complain.

Pray that the rest of our journey is uneventful. Except for a little bit on Friday, when I get to see Holli and Bug, at long last, gets to meet Baby Faith.

'Night, y'all!

Most hysterical conversation from the move (thus far)

SD: The movers are about to start in our room, did you get everything that you needed to get out of there?

Me: Yeah. I got the suitcases all packed this morning. I'm all set.

SD: Um, are you sure you got everything?

Me: Yeeeees, I got everything.

SD: You know, they since it's going into storage before we get to TEXAS!! they have to take everything out of the drawers. So, are you sure you got everything out of your nightstand, maybe, that you want to get before they start packing in there?

Me: ..........OH CRAP!!! ::dashes upstairs::

Is there a point to this post? No, I'm afraid there is not.

First, I must apologize profusely to Lucinda for not saying anything sooner and thank her SO VERY MUCH for the Perfect Post award she chose me for last week. I am beyond honored that someone I like as much as Lucinda thought that my writing was good. I promise to TRY to pick one next month. If the chaos subsides...

Well, everything I own (except for candles, cleaning supplies, anything in an aerosol spray, and liquor) (oh, and of course the stuff in the suitcases)(and a couple of twelve packs of Diet Coke) is in boxes or is being wrapped in movers paper as we speaktype. Right now, for the second time in thirteen months, I am watching the movers carry out my belongings and load them on the truck. My mom is at the hotel with the SugarBabies, who are tired, cranky, and really just a joy to be around. I'm buying my mom a margarita later.

The movers are very nice. The boys have been thrilled with having a big, giant moving truck in front of their house all week. Mommy, not so much. I spent Tuesday and Wednesday running down to the street to haul Bug up from UNDER the big, giant moving truck. The place where the trailer connects to the cab (I can't think of the word for it...coupling?) is just about an inch taller than his head, so he sneaks out there every chance he gets to "work on the truck." It is only by the grace of God Himself that Bug hasn't been squashed by a passing car. As a result, the kids will likely not be coming over here to play in the yard as we had talked about. I can't handle that stress any longer. I know that our luck will run out eventually.

So, Candyland has been temporarily relocated to a lovely two bedroom suite about a mile from the house. It's nice, but to cram all five of us in there for seven days is awfully...well...insane. The kids ask about every thirty-eight seconds, "When can we go swimming?" "Can we go swimming in a minute?" "Can we go swimming after supper?" "Can we go swimming before bed?" "Why are we at a hotel with a pool if we aren't swimming???" Swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Someone may lose a limb before all is said and done. Purely accidental, of course. I'll pray that the judge is a mom of three and I'm sure that I will not only get off, but maybe receive a medal.

SugarPlum seems to be doing better. She hasn't been as surly as she has she was. Although yesterday, her world collapsed for a few minutes and I thought that she might have a nervous breakdown because she opened her report card and saw that she had made her first ever "B." (gasp!) She grieved this grade for about an hour. She cried. She sobbed. She screamed. She yelled. She told herself how stupid she was. She insisted that we see her for the stupid person that she thought she was. When we tried (over and over) to tell her that a "B" is a good grade and nothing to be ashamed of, she looked at us like we were crazy. We also showed her that the "B" was only for that one grading period (six weeks? nine weeks? not positive) and not for the whole semester, she still didn't care all that much. It was a "B," dammit, didn't we understand the gravity of the situation?!

The thing is, she really could have done better. Her grade was lower as a result of careless mistakes made when she was rushing through stuff. I am willing to cut her a lot of slack, however, knowing how turbulent her emotions have been about this move. No shame in a "B," but I have a feeling that she hated getting one enough that it will motivate her to really do her best from now on.

Bug, on the other hand, has been such a little butthead lately. He refuses to listen and acts almost defiant much of the time. I am almost afraid to let him meet Baby Faith next week, lest she teach him to flip me the bird and say, "Bite me." Logically, I know that he is desperately trying to figure out what his boundaries are and where exactly I will draw the line. There is comfort in knowing that the rules are still the rules. But, geez kid! Enough already.

Bear is just clingy the past couple of days. He is actually so sweet and mature much of the time it kills me. He has been so sweet to share and to help me with whatever I am doing. But once he reaches the end of his rope, then he just falls apart and loses any rational thought that might have existed. That is when I have to stop and just hold him. My sweet, sweet Bear.

Tonight is SD's graduation dinner. And it is formal. So, all of us who are in the middle of moving and living out of a suitcase, had to be sure and pack an evening gown to wear to this. And heels, jewelry, etc. Because that is what you want taking up room in your suitcase, right? Actually, instead of an evening gown, I am wearing some loose flow-y pants. My big old ass won't fit into any of my evening gowns (yes, I do have several, it is one of my vices) (shut up)and I refuse to buy a bigger one that I will only wear once. Because I WILL be losing this weight soon. I can't afford the new wardrobe to go with the big ass.

Okay, time to end this rambling post. I'm doing okay, don't worry about me. The Dr. gave me some really good drugs on Monday and they are helping tremendously. Better living through pharmaceuticals!

Countdown to chaos...

Okay, the movers will be here in eight hours. Am I ready? Kinda. Okay....some of the suitcases are packed. Sorta.

But, um, I..well...okay, I suck. But things will be ready when they need to be. I'm a "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of girl. Hell, that stuff will get to TEXAS!! one way or another. And if I forget to pack something, we will just buy a new one. Just kidding, honey.

So, if I am a sparse presence in the blogosphere for the next several days, you'll know why. I'll be the one hiding in the corner with a bottle of wine, rocking back and forth saying, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home..."

April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring...the MOVERS!!!

Did you know...were you AWARE that it is now JUNE!!?? How the hell did this happen? This is totally unacceptable. If today is June 2, then that means that the movers will be here in four days and we will be out of this house and sharing that hotel suite in five days. Holy shit.

Who turned on the time warp machine and propelled me two months into the future? Because last time I looked, it was April and I had plenty of time to get this house ready for the movers. Now look at me. I am a mess. I am busy, busy, busy (well, when I'm not blogging anyway. A girl MUST have priorities.).

We are all at that point before the move where we are stressed out and snapping at each other. It happens every time, but this time I think it's worse because SD will be leaving for his remote a month after we get to TEXAS!!

SugarPlum has been biting everyone's head off for the slightest thing. She is really upset about having to move again. She is happy that we are returning to TEXAS!! but she is frustrated that just about the time that she really starts to form a circle of friends and her soccer team really starts playing well together, we have to move again. And she will be going to her third school in five years. We were only here for a year and we couldn't find a house in our old school zone. I think that it is all just so overwhelming to her. It is breaking my heart.

Bear is wavering between being excited about seeing his old friends and already missing his "Monty-sorry" school. He is also concerned about what the movers will be packing and what they won't. Are the movers going to take my vacuum cleaner to TEXAS!? Yes, they will take it to our new house. Are they going to take Tex, too? No, you can take Tex to the hotel with us. (Tex is the monkey he made at Build-a-Bear.) Are the movers going to take our couch to the new house? No, this couch has seen it's last move. We are leaving it here in Ohio. But we are getting a NEW couch! (This fact didn't serve as much comfort and now he is mourning the loss of the old couch before it is even gone.)

Bug is pretty clueless. He vaguely remembers the moving truck at our house last year so he just keeps asking when the big truck is coming back. The movers came a couple of last week and took SD's stuff to his remote assignment. They let Bug climb up and stand in the back of the truck. That is way cool when you are three! The rest of it he doesn't get. I'm sure he will be plenty pissed when they start packing all of the toys away, though.

I'm just ready to get on with it all. Except that I'm not. I knew going into this marriage what being a military wife entailed: the moves, the separations, the long hours and many obligations. But, after all these years, it is really wearing thin. And it kills me to see how hard it is on my kids. SD is committed for a few more years, but I think that we are all ready for the chance to be settled and just BE somewhere.

That isn't happening anytime soon, though. For now, I need to gather my strength, my sanity (such that it is) and get ready for this move back to TEXAS! Not tomorrow though. Tomorrow we are going to the zoo! Priorites, remember. And zoo trumps movers every. single. time.

Five years (and one day) of SugarBear!

Five years and one day ago, my life changed completely. I had been a mommy for four and a half years already, but on May 31, 2001, I became a mommy to a BOY. And I never saw it coming. I mean, I thought, "Babies are babies are babies, right? They don't know if they are boys or girls."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I knew that I was pregnant with Bear before I was ever even "late." I had had an ectopic pregnancy a couple of months before. I was heartbroken. So when the doctor gave us the go ahead to, *ahem*, start trying, we did. AND? About three weeks later, I woke up several days in a row feeling very queasy. I whipped out the omnipresent (at least at that time) EPT and sure enough, there were two lines. The second line was very faint. So faint, in fact, that I had to call SD in for a second confirmation. But it was there and I was pregnant. And sick. Oh, lord, I puked all day, every day for probably four months. I had to pull over on the side of the (very narrow British) road to throw up at least once a week. I lost 15 pounds in my first trimester.

When we finally told SugarPlum, she said that she really wanted a little sister. You see how that worked out for her.

The pregnancy was fairly uneventful. I got an emergency ultrasound after I had some spotting at 16 weeks. SugarPlum and I were at my folks' house in TEXAS! while SD was deployed to SW Asia. So, my mom and SugarPlum accompanied me to the sonographer's and we discovered that SP would be having a baby brother. She was none too pleased.

She came to terms with it fairly quickly, however, and began looking forward to having a baby brother. Finally, the time came and SugarPlum spent the night with our neighbors. SD took me to the hospital and we discovered, deja vu style, that I was dilated to two. Bah. But the OB didn't want us having to drive all the way home, so he told me to go walk around the base. Fortunately, it was a beautiful night. We walked from the hospital over to the post office and around the pond, then to the Officers Club where the bartender cruelly offered me a beer! Yeah, that's funny, offer a cocktail to the lady who is having contractions.

Finally, I got my epidural (which wore off about a half hour before Bear made his entrance. The nurse was great and let me nurse him almost immediately after SD cut the cord. Actually, I got to nurse him several more times after that in the L/D room because minutes before Bear was born, a little boy was born in the next room with no heartbeat. So the nursery was a little preoccupied with him. Talk about God giving you the big picture from he get-go! I ultimately ended up rooming with that mom since the maternity ward was full and doubling patients up. (Her baby ended up being fine.)

From the very beginning, Bear was a very, very different baby than SugarPlum. When he cried, he sounded just like one of those baby dolls or a parody of a baby crying, "Wah! Wah! Wah!" every night from 10pm to 1am. As he grew, he was so strong and self sufficient. He rolled over at six weeks. The night that happened, SD was away at a wedding so I videotaped it. I wanted proof for when everyone said, "Oh, yeah, right."

Plus, he made boy "noises." He made little grunts and had this very masculine laugh. And the first time we gave him a toy car, he went, "Vvvvvrrrrrroooooom!!!" How did he know to do that?! SugarPlum certainly didn't make those noises. He was always so busy playing with balls and blocks and trucks. He really wasn't a snuggly baby, he had to much to do. So I took my hugs and kisses when I could get them.

On his first birthday, I made him a "caterpillar" cake with different colored cupcakes. As soon as we sang "Happy Birthday" and gave him his blue cupcake, he smiled really big and planted his face in that cupcake. It was the best birthday picture EVER!

Over the past five years, my SugarBear has evolved into this sweet, funny, very snuggly boy. And he is MY boy. He is the one who tells me for weeks after I have been on a trip how much he missed me. "Mommy, when you were gone? A long time ago, remember? To see J's mommy? I really, really missed you." He is the one who will almost never turn down snuggle time with me.

And every single thing he does is with an intensity and wholeheartedness that is astounding. When he loves, it is with his whole self. When he is angry, well, Katie bar the door because you are about to bear witness to a fury rarely seen in the preschool set!** And when he is sad, it will break your heart. When he was three, he was sitting in his room looking rather downcast and told me, "Mommy, my a sad boy."

He loves his siblings so incredibly much. He thinks that his big sister just hung the moon. He is in awe of her every day. He wants to be in brownies, play on her soccer team, and go to school with her.

He is such a great big brother. I had never wanted to have kids as close together as Bear and Bug are, but now I see the advantages. Those two are like peanut butter and jelly. They enjoy each other's company so much. Best buddies. To hear Bear say, "C'mon Bug! Let's go put out that fire!!" just makes me so happy.

So, Bear, on your fifth birthday (plus one day because Mommy couldn't seem to get it together to post yesterday!), I want to let you know how much joy you bring to my life and how proud you make me every. single. day. I hope you enjoy your firefighter costume that matches Bug's, your new garbage truck, and your REAL vacuum cleaner. Yes, the vacuum you have been telling me you want for three months. I know what a big help you will be once your daddy has to leave.

Thank you for initiating me into the world of boys. The loud, intense, crazy world of little boys. I can't imagine what life would be without you my SugarBear. I love you so much.

**okay, before I freak you out, he has no "anger issues" and his anger is, mostly, expressed appropriately. For a four/five year old, at least.**